Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

How To Build The Ideal Relationship With The Ideal Woman

The Three Essential Skills For Massive Seduction Success

Three Essential Skills

There’s two basic elements of game that pretty much every guy misses. Three if you’re intending on building a quality relationship with a quality girl.

The problem is that most guys prevent themselves from even admitting they are weak in these areas. Cognitive dissonance is something that keeps us from admitting less than positive things about ourselves to protect our ego.

So, assuming you fall into the category of most humans, you’ve got a couple choices. One is to protect your precious ego, and accept your current level of success with women.

The other is to suck it up, face your deficiencies, overcome them (which is super easy once you simply realize what they are) and then simply start getting better and better at getting better and better women.

Assuming that’s what you want, here are the deficiencies.

One is internal game. You’ve got to really, really believe that you are worthy of the girl that you are intending to catch. Meaning you have to believe based on OBJECTIVE data why YOU would be a good catch. Not the silly notion that every guy deserves a hot girl just because.

This means having rock solid, REAL self confidence. Rock solid, REAL social skills. True comfort in your own skin. The ability and natural confidence to start a conversation with anybody, anywhere.

The second is being able to notice signals. The idea you can walk up to a any girl and spit out some goofy lines and seduce her is ridiculous. It’s possible, sure, but so is winning the lotto. Anybody who’s business plan’s winning the lotto is going to be hanging out with empty bottles of Night Train.

Which means you need to only “hit on” girls that have sent you a signal that they WANT to be hit on. If you don’t see those signals, you’ll be hitting on girls who want nothing to do with you.

Solve these two problems, and you’ll get laid a lot.

However, if you want a rock solid relationship, you’ll need something else.

And that is criteria. Meaning you have to know what you want in a serious relationship. And this goes beyond silly romantic notions like “loyalty,” or “she won’t cheat on me,” or the ultra popular, “she’s gotta be hot!”

Those things are RESULTS of having a lot in common with her. If you and her have a lot in common, you’re emotionally open, and you’re committed to WORK on the relationship (which goes beyond just receiving the benefits most guys are after) then she’ll never WANT to leave you.

This means having high standards, that are SUBJECTIVE. Religion, politics, financial beliefs, financial background.

This is stuff you MUST sort for if you want a positive relationship with a “quality woman.”

If you’re ready, then check this out:

Girlfriend Generator

The Benefits Of Long Game

Short Term Game Is For Clowns

Stop Hustling For Short Term Action

Some of the most powerful people in the world operate behind the scenes.

They cause events to happen not because the initial outcome is what want. Nor the secondary or tertiary outcome. But because they know they are setting up the conditions for the outcome they REALLY want.

And it’s not some kind of once-off type of deal. It is a situation where they can continue to reap the benefits of their efforts for DECADES.

This is the power of the LONG CON. However, the word “con” is not the best word. The word “con” involves stealing, or law breaking, or some kind of trickery or manipulation.

However, when dealing with women, and personal relationships, the structure is the same. In this respect, the term long “game” is more appropriate, but even then it’s a misnomer. When you think of “gaming” somebody, it conjures up ideas of one person “winning” and the other person “losing.”

It can help to think in terms of sales. For example, think of an insurance salesman. Let’s say he goes door to door, and tries to sell people auto insurance. There’s basically two types of “game” he can employ.

Short game, or long game.

Short game is where he comes up with some super ninja language patterns, or really persuasive charisma that gets him really high closing rates. Like maybe two or three out of ten people. Considering it only takes him a couple three hours or burn through that many potential customers, and that each sales is worth a couple hundred, that’s pretty good money.

However, those customers aren’t likely going to be long term customers. His “short game” doesn’t allow for him to see if they are really a match for his product or not.

Which means most of them cancel after the first year. Which means he ALWAYS has to be out hustling new customers.

As soon as he stops hustling, his income stream wills top not long thereafter.

Now think of a guy who employs ultra “long game” strategy.

Maybe he talks to 100 or even 500 customers before he gets a sale. Maybe he only gets a sale every one or two weeks.

Sounds horrible at first glance.

But these customers are LIFE LONG customers. They renew EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Not only that, but guess who they call when they know somebody who needs insurance? Or when their kid’s old enough to drive? Or when they buy a new car, or even a new house?

That’s right, they call him.

How many of these customers do you think he needs for a really FAT and really PASSIVE INCOME?

Not a lot. Maybe a couple hundred.

Sure, he’s got to hustle a lot, and NOT GET PAID while he’s getting those customers. Most sales people don’t have that kind of long term vision, or patience.

But those that do get paid FOR LIFE.

Long term game, when it comes to women, is the same.

How does it apply?

You can use short term game. Do a lot of hustling to get a lot of low quality (unqualified) women in the sack. But when you stop hustling, so does the love. 

On the other hand, you can employ long game.  Find high quality candidates that don’t need to be gamed. They see the quality of your product (YOU) and are sold on their own.

How do you do that?

Take some time talking to her. Figure out if you REALLY ARE a match. Forget the short term, NON-SUSTAINTABLE relationships that all the other clowns are chasing.

Keep this up and before long, you’ll have a few HIGH QUALITY WOMEN that are totally into you. And they will be the ones trying to close you.

With little effort on your part.

How do you create this wonderful situation?

Here’s How:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Build Up Massive Attraction

Only One Way To Build Attraction

Experience Is Essential

What do women want? That’s kind of a trick question, since what we want is based on our conscious decision making. Like when the waitress takes your order, or when the barber asks what kind of hair style you’d like.

When it comes to attraction, both male and female, what we want isn’t really so important. It’s what we respond to.

Now for guys, this is pretty hard to understand instinctively. Sure it makes sense on intellectually, but most guys don’t ask as if they truly understand this crucial concept.

Guys respond to girls based on how they look. And when they look at many girls, they tend to respond the same way. Big boobs, slim waist, clear skin, healthy hair, etc. So when somebody asks, what’s our ideal of a perfect woman, we describe the way she looks.

Meaning we describe the girl we respond to most. Because we respond to the same type, over and over, either in real life or through media, it’s easy to consciously describe the type of girl we dream about.

But girls aren’t nearly as interested in looks as guys are. They are much more interested in character. And character takes a lot of time to flesh out. Which means they don’t have NEARLY as much data to go from, when asked to describe what they “want.”

Even movie characters are kind of hit and miss. Male movie characters that truly turn a woman on are NOT the same type of movie characters that sell movie tickets.

At least not in the way we think.

However, if you study the kind of movies and books that women tend to DEVOUR, you’ll see a pattern.

Romance novels, for example, are filled with the same types. And guess what? They are NOT beta providers, or the hippie sensitive type.

Nor are they the politically correct type.

Woman are drawn to guys who can lead. Guys who are confident. Guys who can handle any situation that comes up.

They want to feel protected, on a subconscious level. They want to FEEL IT, rather than hear you say it.

They want to see EVIDENCE that you can do it, not you telling them you can do it.

How do you show them?

One is to be confident, no matter what happens. This is precisely WHY girls test you.

They WANT to make sure you are REALLY confident, and not easy to shakeable.

They figure if you can pass HER TESTS, once she decides she is WITH YOU, you’ll be able to handle any tests the world throws at you.

She’s not going to feel very safe with you when you’re crumbling at the first sign of trouble!

This simply CANNOT be faked, despite how much money people pay for courses that teach otherwise.

The only way to demonstrate your ability to handle anything is to experience as much as you can.

Which means talking to girls rather than looking at them.

If you start doing this, you’ll build up some incredible skills.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

The Slow Path To Seduction

Step By Step Is Best

Conscious Skill Building

Most guys don’t like to approach girls because they think they are afraid of rejection.

In reality, this isn’t really the case. This is why simple sounding solutions like, “rejection is better than regret” don’t make it much easier.

The truth is that the whole process is uncomfortable. It’s not uncomfortable because you might get rejected. It’s uncomfortable because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

The human brain HATES uncertainty.

This is why guys that approach girls over and over aren’t really that nervous. They don’t get rejected any less, it’s just that they have a much more accurate idea of what’s going to happen.

Simply by getting rejected over and over, you’ll build up an experience in your mind of getting rejected. This way, it’s much easier to take a step back and see it as a pure numbers game.

Sure, it takes a few successes for this to work. Meaning if one of out every girl you talk to gives you a valid number,  it’s just a matter of talking to enough girls. If you talked to ten girls a day, you’d get one number a day.

After a while, the girls who rejected you would simply be girls you want to hurry up and get out of the way so you could find that one that didn’t reject you.

But if you don’t have a lot of experience, this can be tough to do.

Which is why it’s crucial to start slow. 

It’s funny how when learning any other skill we intuitively know this. We start playing the piano, and we don’t expect to play Moonlight Sonata after a week.

If we took up golf, we’d realize we’d have to play for a while before we got a good score.

But for some reason, when guys go out, they hope to get laid by the hottest girl in the club without going through the same learning curve.

Maybe our biology is programmed from evolution to think this way, and maybe this is the way it worked back in the caveman days.

But not any more.

Which is why going slow is the BEST thing you can do.

Actually write down a set of intermediary skills that you MUST MASTER before getting laid.

Eye contact, flirting, conversations, kino, number closing, etc.

If you took your time, maybe a few weeks, ONLY practicing these skills, you’d be surprised, and how easy it was.

I know, I know. You want to get laid NOW!

But take your time. If you take six months to really work on your game, you’ll be getting much more quality dates than all your buddies. Then you can pick and choose from THOSE GIRLS and find your DREAM GIRL.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

The Mistake That Kills Any Chance Of Love

The Truth About Love

How To Create Magic

How do people fall in love?

This may sound incredibly cynical, but it’s really not. Understanding how the world really works can only help you to operate within it to get what you want.

Love is based on self-hypnosis. You meet somebody. You go on a few dates. Then you start thinking about them. You start to look forward to seeing them. You plan what to do with them. You remember them after the date is over.

Most of the thinking about the other person is when they are not around. Based on your own ideas. This is why “one-itis” is such a hard thing to kick. It’s not based on an honest and realistic interpretation of what the other person is really like, but your own imagination of what they are really like.

You’ve got this idea of her, that’s based ONLY on your imagination. Finally when you talk to her, or if you’re like some guys, you express your deep and undying love for her, it’s going to sound creepy as hell.

Why?

Because you’re talking to her like you know her. Like you’ve been with her. And she maybe only knows you from one or two conversations.

However, when two people start feeling this way about each other, at the same rate, it’s pretty cool. So cool that there’s nothing else that even comes close, pleasure wise.

But remember those feelings are generated when you are apart. When you are thinking about each other.

Which means if you DON’T give her time to think about you, and crucially to WONDER about you, it’s simply NOT going to happen.

If she knows you’ll always be there for her, (at least in the early stages) she won’t dream about you.

Humans don’t dream or fantasize about things we KNOW we are going to get.

There HAS to be a bit of uncertainty.

So if you are trying to create those deep feelings, you HAVE to give her room.

DO NOT text her fifteen times a day. DO NOT chase her like desperate puppy.

Now, this is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT if you are head over heels in love with her (or at least think you are) and are unsure of how she feels about you.

Which is why you should ALWAYS be in the habit of talking to cute girls wherever you go. Not to pick them up, or number close, or even flirt.

Just to be friendly. Just to keep yourself from going insane.

The BEST TIME to start doing this is BEFORE you meet “her” and start to feel those longings.

That way, it will already be part of who you are.

AND it will make it much more likely to find “her.”

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Is Your Game Based On Irrational Thinking?

Stop The Insanity!

Stop The Insanity!

There’s a sane way to meet girls, and an insane way.

According to Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.

Unfortunately, this is the strategy of most guys. Meaning they meet girls, date them for a couple weeks or months, and then crash and burn.

Sometimes even for a few years until it fizzles out.

Why do relationships fizzle? Why don’t they last with those good feelings you have in the beginning?

One reason is any time you get with somebody, you’re both on your best behavior. Both consciously and unconsciously. Our caveman brains are programmed to think that sexual relationships are few and far between. So when we think we’re getting close, we’re careful not to mess things up.

Then later on, we’re so thrilled to be with somebody (that we hope will be THE ONE) it has that new, fresh, feeling of discovery.

When this happens, there is an unconscious feedback loop. You push her buttons, which makes her feel good so she pushes yours, which makes you feel good so you push hers. And on and on.

In the beginning this feels fantastic, because when she pushes your buttons, it’s unexpected, so it feels like magic.

Then once you get used to each other, that “magical” feeling wears off. It is entirely possible to keep that magical feeling, but you have to push each buttons consciously. You have to push her buttons when you don’t want to, which will create pleasure in her, which will make her WANT to push your buttons.

In the beginning, the pump primes itself, but later on, you’ve got to keep it primed consciously.

This is hard to do when you’re not that compatible. When you are consciously pushing somebody’s buttons, in order to make them feel emotional pleasure, you actually have to LIKE the person beyond sexual intimacy. You have to actually RESPECT and ADMIRE the person beyond sexual and emotional intimacy.

This is not going to happen automatically.

And guess what? For every ten or twenty people you meet, there’s really only one, maybe two that you will genuinely like, admire, and respect. This goes for all people. Male and female.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to see this when meeting girls, because you’re senses are overwhelmed by potential sexual intimacy, which ALWAYS takes precedent, since it’s a survival function.

How do you get around this?

Simply come up with some characteristics of somebody you have a HIGH PROBABILITY of liking, admiring, and respecting BEFORE you go out and meet girls.

Then when you’re talking to her, before you turn on the charm, sort for these characteristics. If she has them, then seduce her till she begs for more.

But if she doesn’t? Don’t waste your time. Because you’ll know how this one ends.

Sure, it will take time to find the RIGHT GIRL for you, but you know it’s worth it.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Should You Hide Your Attraction For Her?

Be An Open Book PUA

Ditch The Day Game

Many guys think they need to “slip in under the radar” when they are out meeting girls. To some extent, this is true. If it’s obvious that you are in a club, for example, and are chatting up and number closing every girl in sight, you might put out the wrong vibe.

Nobody, girls included, likes to feel like they are just another number in a book that you get to when all the others don’t pan out.

Of course, if you see a cute girl in a place that’s NOT a meet market, then it’s usually OK to let her know why you’re talking to her. Naturally, you won’t have to say anything, since girls pretty much know that if a guy walks up to her in public, it’s not for the time or some lame, “I’m shopping for my sister” pick up angle.

If you make eye contact, do a bit of non-verbal flirting, then she knows what’s what. She likely, in her own mind, has already sent you a clear and conscious message she wants you to walk over. No point in covering up your approach by pretending your not approaching, especially when she knows you’re approaching.

So why do guys use lines like that? Short answer is they want to bypass the non-verbal flirting stage. They approach at an angle, surprise her, and try to “sneak their way in” to her mind. Then if the conversation goes well, they figure they can number close.

But unless you are VERY smooth, she’s going to know you were just running game. Now, some guys might think this makes them ultra suave and alpha PUA. But in reality, she’s going to think you were to shy to simply be straight with her.

Remember, girls like a guy with confidence. A guy that can look at her, and let her know in no uncertain terms that he likes looking at her because she is pretty. Pleasing to the eyes. Guys that are afraid to do this, and come up with “approach at an angle” type of game can come off as kind of less than honest. And weak.

Since first impressions last a long time, you may be shooting yourself in the foot before you even call her.

Bottom line is if you see a pretty girl, don’t be shy about it. Let her know you think she’s cute. Be comfortable checking her out. If she responds in kind, walk over. She’s already invited you. And when you, don’t worry about any lines or any goofy game. She knows what’s up.

Lay it all out. Say she’s pretty, say you’d like to know more about her personality. Say it in your own words, and go from there.

Why You Must Be A Leader

Become A Leader To Create Attraction

Essential Skills To Create Attraction

On a deep and fundamental level, it’s easy to see what women want, and what men want.

Look back into our long evolutionary history, and it becomes pretty obvious. Women want a strong, confident, socially comfortable man to lead. Men want a supportive, loyal, feminine woman to stand behind him.

Sure, this sounds very old school, very anti-feminist, very anti-modern and empowered. But consider the vast majority of human history, where our instincts and gender roles were pretty much set.

Men went out every day and hunted. Took risks, found new places to live, and pretty much built all the tools of society. Women stayed behind while the men were hunting, and gathered. They took care of the kids. They got roots, nuts, other food in case the men got skunked.

Scientists tell us that this “sexual diversification of labor” was one of the main drivers of our evolutionary success. In all other mammals, both men and women searched for the same type of food.

Because humans looked for different food between men and women, we could live in twice as many places.

This is also why men are good at some things, while women are good at others. Men have narrow, long range vision, for example. Women have short, very wide vision. One is good for hunting, the other is good for gathering while watching kids at the same time.

Men don’t talk much, women talk all the time. Hunters vs. gatherers.

How does this translate to the modern dating scene?

On a deep level, she wants you to lead the way. She wants to follow you. But if you assume she SHOULD follow you, you’re in for a surprise.

Sadly, many “men” today are simply not worthy of being followed.

Are you?

When you make a decision, do you immediately take action, or do you wait to make sure it’s OK?

If you are on a date, for example, this is the worst thing you can do. Ask your date if your decision is OK.

Now, you don’t want to be rude, but you also don’t want to radiate a sense of weakness, and lean on her to call the shots.

In the very early stages, this means you MUST lead in all aspects. You MUST be the one who approaches. You MUST be the one who carries the conversation. You MUST be the one to set the first get together.

Will she follow? Maybe, maybe not. The ones that don’t follow simply aren’t into you. Let them slide.

But the ones that do follow you are the ones you’re after.

Start leading, and see who follows. That will tell you everything you need to know.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Plan Your Relationships

Do You Depend On Blind Luck?

Don’t Rely On Blind Luck

Do you have any seduction goals?

Most guys don’t. Most guys are happy with their preprogrammed desires for sex, intimacy, and companionship. They go out, keep trying, until these get fulfilled.

For a long, long time, this was all men needed. Only in recent times did people need to consciously plan what they were going after. Why?

Up until fifty years or so ago, once a guy and a girl hooked up, there were plenty of “negative incentives” to keep them together. Meaning if they broke up, especially after they were married and had kids, everybody would know.

Even on “Mad Men” there was that one single mom in the neighborhood that everybody gossiped about.

The thing about having “negative incentives” is that we don’t tend to notice them. Kind of like having a boss that will fire you if you show up late. So long the rest of the job is pretty good, and you get paid well, getting up early in order to show up on time (so you don’t get fired) will kind of slip into the back of your mind.

At first it might be pretty difficult, but pretty soon it will be just be something that you do without thinking.

This is the kind of world couples lived in a generation or so ago. Since they were many more negative incentives regarding breaking up, they were much more motivated to work on the relationship, and deal with whatever issues came up instead of ignoring them.

Nowadays, people don’t do that. There’s zero stigma with breaking up, getting divorced, or being a single parent.

Which means if you want a happy relationship, it’s going to take a lot of SELF MOTIVATION, rather than relying on those external negative incentives.

However, most guys don’t even realize this. They just hook up with whoever they can hook up with, cross their fingers and hope for the best.

Now, sometimes you’ll get lucky. Sometimes you’ll meet a girl from a similar background, who has similar beliefs as you, and shares plenty of the same interests. This will make it much more likely you’ll both WANT to work on any issues, as you genuinely like each other’s company, beyond just sex and intimacy.

But if you just get with whoever you can get with, this isn’t very likely.

Instead, consider the type of girl you’re going after. Consider the type of girl you’d like to hang out with AFTER that initial thrill wears off. Consider a girl who has the same basic life plans as you, instead of some girl who you expect will blindly follow you wherever you go.

To be sure, this is a lot of work. But the work you put into today will save you a lot of pain tomorrow.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Measure Her Attraction

Always Be Testing

Always Be Testing

There are plenty of ways to measure how much a girl is attracted to you. There are also different methods to use during different stages of the relationship.

This is important to know how to do, but it’s also important to know WHY to do this.

Many guys make the tragic mistake of assuming once she’s attracted to you, she’ll ALWAYS be attracted to you. This is absolutely false.

In reality, her attraction, especially in the first few weeks or even months, will fluctuate. Even in it’s not set in stone. Guys who have been married for years are FLOORED when she suddenly announces she wants a divorce.

He thought everything was going smooth, but in reality, her attraction was slowly declining. Sometimes for YEARS.

And for better or for worse, there are few negative incentives to keep women in “bad” relationships these days.

So if you ARE intending to create a mutually happy, long term relationship, you’d better be ready to accept the fact that it takes CONSISTENT EFFORT on your part.

And measuring her attraction is the first step. Once you know if it’s high or low, you can adjust accordingly, or even decide she’s not the one for you.

In the first conversation, it’s pretty easy. Is she looking at you most of the time? When you break rapport slightly, does she follow you to get back into rapport? How does she respond when you apply some light and socially appropriate kino? Does it make her happy? Does she respond in kind?

If you’ve been dating a couple weeks, all of the same apply, but you’ve got to be able to measure her deeper behavior.

Does she show up on time? Does she return your calls promptly? When you ask her out does she agree happily or suggest another time and place if she’s busy?

These all things a highly attracted girl will do. A girl with medium or low attraction won’t.

If you’ve determined her level of attraction is less than you’d like, you’ve got a couple options.

One is to try and ramp it back up. Do something different. Measure again.

Another is to simply realize it’s not in the cards.

The cold harsh truth is that relationships are a LOT of work.  If you choose a girl that takes a lot of effort to begin with, you know you’ve got an uphill battle for the duration.

Often times, it’s much, much easier to just realize it’s not in the cards and move on.

Ideally, you want to find a girl who’s willing to work as hard as you to maintain the integrity of the relationship.

When you do that, it will make everything worthwhile.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator