Creation Is Easier Than Receiving
This is at the root of many of our other fears. We want something, but we feel if we express our desires, we’ll get shot down. From the tiniest things like asking for the salt to asking a cute person for their phone number, it feels as though we’re on center stage when we’re warming up to pop the question.
However, like many other elements of our personality and communication, there’s a lot of stuff going on.
One thing that people will respond to is our interpretation of ourselves. Little kids have no fear, no shame, no worries. They just blurt out whatever they want. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don’t.
But you’d have to be an ogre living under a bridge to NOT think this is the prime reason kids are so cute.
Now, if this happens to be your kid announcing to the world what they want at any given time, it can be pretty embarrassing. But to everybody else, it’s pretty cute.
One important distinction to be aware of when discussing adult communication is the difference between structure and content.
The content is that specific thing we are asking for. The salt, the phone number, the raise, etc.
The structure is HOW we are asking for it. And a primary driver of the structure we wrap around our content is our interpretation of the content, and our “deservingness” to receive it.
If we are asking for something we don’t think we deserve (for logical or completely illogical reasons) that will come across in how we ask. So when we DO get shut down, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with the content (that which we are asking for) but our own interpretation.
If we don’t think we deserve it, why should anybody else? Especially if they’re being asked to put time and even money into us getting it?
Now we can also fool ourselves just as easily. We can overcompensate, and “pretend” that we REALLY deserve, and ask for it with all kinds of fake enthusiasm. But then we sound like some sleazy salesperson trying to be our friend.
How can we believe we deserve it (whatever IT is) without sounding like we just came from a super charged guru seminar?
Remember who you are.
Remember why you are here, and what you are creating. You weren’t put here to be “given” stuff, like a kid who cleaned his room on time.
You were put here to create things. And on the other side of everything you’d like, you have something equally as valuable to give.
That part of yourself that is pure energy. Pure spirit. Pure wisdom.
Get in touch with THAT part of you, and you’ll never feel fear again.