Category Archives: Congruence

What Image Are You Projecting?

Always Checking And Measuring

Most people don’t like to think about this, but we judge each other all the time.

It’s programmed deep within our common history to “look somebody over” when we first meet them.

Long ago, when we lived in these small tribes of a couple hundred people or so, everybody knew everybody. So if you screwed somebody over, EVERYBODY would quickly know about it.

But then we started living in much larger groups, so it became necessary to get a feel for somebody.

Are You Always Getting Conned?

Those that couldn’t do that were quickly taken advantage of, and didn’t usually last long.

So we all developed a kind of “sixth sense” of how we “read” people when we first met them.

Are they trustworthy? Are they honest? Will they try and take advantage of us? Are they shifty? Would we want them to have our back in a fight? Can they handle complicated situations, or do they need to be told what to do every step of the way?

Most of us know the obvious clues to look out for, like an inability to hold eye contact, somebody who keeps their arms and legs protectively crossed in front of them.

Just Scratching The Surface

But there are literally TONS of body language and facial expressions that we are not only projecting constantly, but subconsciously reading in others.

If you want to develop really solid relationships, whether they be business, romantic, or friendships,it’s important to recognize this. Both how we read others, and what we project to others.

Luckily, there are several exercises you can do that will greatly enhance your ability to read others, on a subconscious level, and get a much more accurate “feel” for who they really are.

Enhance Your Image

Not only that, you’ll be projecting much better information about yourself, specifically your intelligence.

You’ll be seen as the person they want to have around, and feel confident that they can depend on you and trust you.

And YOU’LL be able to cut through the BS, so you don’t waste any time.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Every Girl You Interact With Helps You Get Better

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Everybody Is Worthwhile

You know that old saying, don’t miss the forest for the trees?

What does that really mean?

It means to look at the big picture. The HUGE forest, filled with all kinds of stuff, can be missed if you stare at one tree.

How does this apply to getting girls? Think of that ONE GIRL you are talking to as a tree.

More Than You Think

Most guys quickly forget there’s a HUGE FOREST out there, filled with girls, many much, much better than the one you’re talking to.

Now, most guys understand this, at least on one level. Meaning it sounds a bit like the “other fish in the sea” argument.

Or very similar to the “getting girls is a numbers game” argument, where if you keep number closing, you’ll find those magic few who dig you in the right way.

That is certainly true, but it’s missing a HUGE part of the puzzle.

If you see every girl as one “number” in a huge “numbers game” you’re missing out on a LOT.

Tons Of Good Stuff In The Middle

You’ll see her in either two ways, “pass” or “fail.” She accepts you, or she rejects you.

Kind of like cold calling. You spit out very same ten second sales pitch a hundred times a day, and hopefully get a couple sales.

This is EXTREMELY LIMITING when it comes to girls.

Why?

Because each and every girl you interact with can make you BETTER. Can make you MORE CONFIDENT. And most importantly, can make you MORE ATTRACTIVE.

Every Experience Gives You More Experience

Ever interaction you have with a girl, conscious or not, verbal or non-verbal, goes into your HUGE and growing database of females.

And every time you look at a NEW girl, your subconscious IMMEDIATELY calls up all other female experiences, and comes back with a feeling. Anxiety, confidence, excitement, positive expectation, relaxed enjoyment, all of these are possible.

And all are dependent on your collective experience with girls.

So no matter WHAT HAPPENS when you talk to her, you CAN build up your experience so next time is more fun, and more enjoyable.

This does require that you ditch that “pass / fail” model, and see each girl REGARDLESS of what happens as an experience to be enjoyed.

Do this, and you’ll be a natural in no time.

Especially when you turn on your natural learner, which will help program your subconscious in the best way possible.

How To Enjoy Any Conversation

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Do You Use Robot Game?

Memorized lines can work wonders, but they can also set you up for massive failure.

There was a group back in the day called Milli Vanilli.

They became famous because they were totally fake. They had a couple of number one albums, but they embarrassingly exposed themselves as frauds.

They didn’t write OR perform any of their music. All they did was lip sync. And during one concert, it went horribly wrong. The track they were lip syncing to got stuck. It kept repeating the same part over and over.

It only took a couple of days before their whole careers went down in flames.

Don’t Be Milli Vanilli

This is kind of what happens if you rely too much on memorized lines and patterns.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s always good to have a couple of memorized openers, but that’s about it.

But how you respond to her and interact with her IN THE MOMENT will determine your level of success.

Which means you need to have a couple of things.

Think On Your Feet

One is conversational flexibility. Meaning if you’re in the middle of some story, and she blurts out something completely off the wall, you’ve got to deal with it.

The BEST way, is not to ignore her, or diss her, but to PACE what she said, and then simply fold it back into your story.

This is a great way to validate her AND keep the frame at the same time.

This can be tricky if you don’t have a lot of experience with social conversations.

Build Up Your Confidence

But when you start to work on your social confidence, AND your social intelligence, you’ll see going out in public, and just talking to random strangers (girls AND guys) in a whole new light.

You won’t see ANY conversation (girl or guy) as a Pass/Fail scenario, but just a fun conversation that can serve two purposes.

One, to have fun.

Two, to increase your skills.

And this will give you the relaxed, confident attitude that women LOVE.

To increase your social intelligence, check this out:

Intelligence Accelerator

Don’t Talk About Attraction

No Paint By Numbers

What’s most attractive to a woman?

Unfortunately it’s not just ONE thing. If all you needed to do was put on a green shirt and wear a certain cologne to get laid, then the world would be a huge orgy.

Probably a good thing it’s not.

But there is a certain, repeatable collection of skills, or mindsets, that WILL get you consistent action with the girls (or girl) you want.

I’ll Take Combo Plate Number 17

It’s a combination of intelligence, self acceptance, playfulness and confidence.

The confidence to be yourself in a social situation, and not worry about what people think of you.

The playfulness to NEVER take anything anybody says too seriously, (unless they’re trying to stab you in the eye with an ice pick or something).

The self acceptance that says YOU accept YOURSELF regardless of what anybody else thinks about you.

And the social intelligence to easily read situations, conversations and know what to say, and what not to say.

Do You Get It

If you become known as the guy who really “gets it,” then women will LOVE to have you around. And not in a “girlfriend” sense, where they see you as some safe beta who they can complain to.

I’m talking about in a genuine “above the cut” alpha sense.

One thing women HATE is thinking they need to “take care of” the men they are with.

If she’s talking to you, and she feels the need to spell anything out, it’s going to kill attraction.

Even women in relationships don’t like to think of their boyfriends or husbands as little kids they need to “mother.”

They want to think of them as independent men who both understand them, and lead them.

She’ll Tell Me When To Kiss Her

Sadly, most guys don’t even come close. They actually believe that a women they’re gaming will TELL THEM what to do or say.

They actually think that looking at a woman and saying, “What can I say that will make you like me?” is an effective strategy.

But as I’m sure you know, most everything that happens in male-female relationships happens on the deep structure level of communication.

If you have to ask what’s going on, or if you have to ask her what she means, or if you need to ask her what you should do, it’s already too late.

On the other hand, if you can read the situation, and act accordingly, you’ll be the guy EVERY GIRL wants.

Jack Up Your Social Intelligence:

Intelligence Accelerator

Is Your Life Complete?

Do You Have Everything You Want?

They say it’s not the cards you are dealt, but how you play them.

If, of course, refers to poker. The game is a LOT more complicated that just checking your cards vs. your opponents.

There’s plenty of strategy, and there’s plenty of ways you can present your cards.

In many games, there’s also a chance to replace the cards you want with ones that are hopefully better.

Change Whatever You Want

Clearly, life is very similar. We all come into this world with certain “cards,” like our parents, our looks, our height, etc.

And like in poker, we can “replace” some of the stuff we’ve got with something that we want.

For most people, this usually translates into moving to a different city, going into a different career than your parents, or altering your appearance through exercise.

One thing people rarely consider is their intelligence level.

Boost Your Brain Baby!

For one, I’m sure you’re aware that there are plenty of different kinds. Social intelligence, musical intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, mathematical intelligence, artistic intelligence, etc.

Most of us think of our “intelligence” like we think of our “personality.” If you’ve ever taken one of those personality tests, you may have felt “stuck” in one of those categories.

The truth is that WHO you REALLY are is not set in stone. Not in the least.

On the contrary, there is a LOT that you can change about yourself, for the better.

You Are More

Now, most people just accept who they are, accept what that will get them and shrug their shoulders and go back to watching TV.

But a select few realize there’s ALWAYS much more.

There’s ALWAYS room to grow, to change, to explore, to prosper.

The question is, which one are you?

Are you one of the “complacent” ones, who just accepts their lot in life, (and whatever happens to be on TV that night)?

Or do you look at yourself in the mirror and REALLY BELIEVE yourself when you say:

“I Can Do Anything.”

The truly successful people KNOW they their lives are ALWAYS a work in progress. They are ALWAYS learning, always growing, always exploring.

Are you?

Get Started:

Intelligence Accelerator

How To See What’s Already There For Mad Attraction

Pay Attention!

How do you tell if she’s into you?

Most guys would LOVE to know which girls are attracted to them, and which girls aren’t.

Just think if could scan a room, and see a little bubble over the top of every girl’s head, that had all kinds of statistics. How much she was attracted to you, on a scale of one to ten, what the chances were of getting a number, what the chances were of taking her home, whether or not she was a freak in bed.

Save Tons Of Time

You could just spend five or ten minutes scanning the room, hit up all the “high probability prospects” and take the “best candidate” home within an hour so.

If you had some magical glasses or contact lenses that would show this data you could easily make a kajillion dollars.

But this is the stuff of pure fantasy, right?

Not quite.

It Already Exists – Inside Your Brain

Most people assume that “naturals” are ultra seductive and can pretty much make ANY woman instantly fall in lust.

This isn’t altogether accurate. What’s MORE accurate is that naturals simply have a set of built in filters so they can do EXACTLY what is described above.

Meaning they have super advanced skills of perception and social intelligence, so they can easily read a room and tell who’s into them, and who’s not.

In The Moment Attraction Measuring

What’s more, is they can tell, during the conversation itself, if she’s increasing her attraction or decreasing. Simply by watching her facial expressions, body language, and how she responds to kino (slight touching in socially appropriate places) they know PRECISELY when to “make the move.”

Because they have SO MUCH DATA, they almost never fail.

Please Like Me!

Compare this to the average “wanna be pick up artist,” who’s usually just hoping and not much else, and you can see a world of difference.

But here’s the CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE. All those signals that are there for the natural are ALSO THERE for the guy with no experience. He just can’t see them. When he talks to girls, some are getting turned on, some are getting turned off, but since he’s blind to body language, he can’t tell the difference.

Naturals are naturals not because they are super seductive, but because they can see things (either consciously or unconsciously) that others can’t.

Which means that ALL YOU’VE GOT TO DO is learn to see what’s already there.

Jack up your social intelligence, and you’ll be amazed how many girls are already into you.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Understand Female Language For Easier Attraction

Mars and Venus?

Men and women speak different languages.

Men generally say what’s on their minds, more or less. Sometimes we beat around the bush a bit, but with just a slight bit of focus, it’s not to difficult to figure out what we’re on about.

Women, on the other hand, can sometimes speak in pure riddles. At least to men, anyhow.

It’s not very politically correct to say this, but men and women are simply built differently.

Dual Minds vs. Single Brain

Brain scans show that women have much more connections between their brain hemispheres.

Women seem to be much better at communicating, and multitasking. Us men are more single minded.

Hunters and Gatherers

From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. Men got together on a daily basis, and went hunting. Not much need for chit chat. Women, on the other hand, stayed together, watched the kids, and gathered all the nuts and veggies and other grubs.

So women developed an ability to not only talk about a bunch of different things at once, but to talk on many different levels at once.

(Men, on the other hand, only needed to say things like, “Hey! Look! A Zebra! Let’s kill it!”)

Reason For Gossip?

Scientists theorize one of the crucial elements in that “stay at home” chit chat was gossip. Men climbed the social and status ladder with their hunting skills, which is mainly physical. Women climbed the social and status ladder with their speaking skills.

What does this mean for seduction?

Hey Baby, Let’s Bang!

It means you’d better not expect her to speak like a guy! It also means you’d better learn to read between the lines, learn what she’s REALLY saying, and be brave enough to make some moves to find out.

I know it happens in the movies a lot, but she will rarely say ANYTHING related to seduction (like “kiss me,” or “aren’t you going to ask for my number?” or “would you like to take me home?”)

Sure, it DOES happen, but if part of your strategy is to wait for it to happen, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

So what do you do instead?

Social Intelligence To The Rescue

Build up your social and conversational intelligence. Trust your instincts. She may indeed be saying, “Do you want to take me home?” But she’s not using words. She’s using body language, facial expression and the subtext of her conversation.

When you’re gut says she’s asking you to kiss her, try some kino and see how she responds, this will usually tell you everything you need to know.

To significantly boost your social intelligence so you can see those signals she’s ALWAYS sending, check this out:

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Free Mind Tools:

Simple Step By Step Destruction of Approach Anxiety

Can You Easily Approach Her?

See that girl over there, the hot one? The one’s that’s been giving you those subtle IOI’s?

What’s the first thing that pops into your mind when you think about walking over and talking to her?

If you’re a normal guy, you’ve got a mixture of fear, anxiety, positive expectation, and lust.

Fill In The Blanks

Those are all healthy and safe emotions and feelings. Since you haven’t talked to her yet, and don’t know ANYTHING about her, all you can feel at this point is physical attraction, which IS a mild form of lust.

But since you don’t know what’s going to happen, you imagine a potential negative outcome. She may laugh, tell her friends what a goof you are, throw her drink in your face, kick you in the nuts, who knows.

Your brain is hard wired to feel fear in uncertain situations. We may have had ancestors way back when who DIDN’T automatically feel fear, but they all got eaten by tigers.

Fear Is Helpful – Sometimes

Those that AUTOMATICALLY felt fear, and ran away EVEN WHEN IT WAS SAFE, lived to fight another day.

Of course, if ALL you feel is fear, you wouldn’t even be thinking of approaching in the first place.

It would be like being at the zoo, and SERIOUSLY considering jumping into a cage of lions and having a chat about world politics or something. The thought of approaching a lion or a tiger doesn’t even cross your mind.

So when you’re standing there, with competing feelings of lust AND fear, that is totally normal.

Beware Of Fearless Gurus

Guys who say they’re afraid of approaching are lying. They may not feel fear on a conscious level, but it’s there.

The trick is that by approaching right away, WITHOUT thinking, you don’t give fear a chance to bubble up in your brain.

The biggest destroyer of FEAR is action.

Luckily, you can practice this WITHOUT actually talking to her, if you’re not ready. Just get in the habit of taking SOME KIND OF ACTION the moment you feel attraction. Walk over to the other side of the room. Walk past her to the restroom. Do ANYTHING other than sit there and wonder what’s going to happen.

Build Different Neural Pathways

What you’ll be doing is building in a DIFFERENT response to attraction than one you may currently have. Most guys feel attraction, wonder what to say, feel a bunch of mixed emotions, then either NOT approach, or approach with a huge ball of anxiety right behind them.

But when you start approaching, or taking ANY action, AS SOON AS that attraction shows up, you’ll soon nip fear in the bud. And pretty soon each approach will be closer and closer to the real thing.

The truth is that your brain is an amazing device. Learning how to operate it will help you get a lot more of what you want in life.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Free Mind Tools:

Learn Like A Natural To Be A Natural

There’s a secret of game that most gurus will NEVER tell you.

If they did, their income stream would stop, and the myth that there’s ONE secret set of techniques and behaviors would get any girl would vanish.

In order to become an absolute NATURAL, so you can get ALL the girls you want, or that ONE special girl is simply by learning from the very BEST teacher.

Learn From The Best Teacher

Who’s the best teacher?

YOU!

But not the “now” you, the “before” you.

AND the “future” you.

Huh?

Time Travel Seduction

Imagine this, there you are, looking out into a sea of gorgeous girls just desperate for Mr. Right to sweep the off their feet and bang them silly.

You imagine a potential future you doing precisely that.

Then you look back quickly to a past you, that did something or tried something similar.

Then you quickly calculate the difference, and take a stab at it. Walk over, try something, and see what happens.

Continuous Improvement

No matter WHAT happens, if you get some get told to take a hike, you WILL add to your experience.

So that the NEXT TIME, you’ll do even better.

This is the NATURAL way that ALL HUMANS are hard wired to learn.

Not from some goofball in front of a seminar room, but from their own experience.

The more experience you get, the better you’ll get.

Are You Relying on Magic?

Now, I know a lot of people believe in magic. That there’s some kind of magical “fix” that will suddenly transform you into a lady killer, so you’ll NEVER have to worry about “game” again.

But you KNOW that is pure nonsense. Marketing crap. Advertising snake oil.

Seduction is a skill, like any other skill. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

The quickest way to get better, with an absolute minimum of anxiety and rejection is learn in congruence with your natural programming.

Instead of “forcing” anything, just relax, and do what comes natural. Every single action will get easier and easier.

Trial and Error Is The Key

And just like being a kid, and learning to walk, ride a bike, or whatever, you’ll find the learning process is not only natural and easy, but very rewarding.

That means that the simple process of “learning” seduction will be so enjoyable, you won’t even feel like you are “working.”

You’ll feel like you are playing. And you will be.

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Generate Natural Attraction

How do you talk to a girl?

If you’re like most guys, you’ve got a problem. You see girls everywhere. You are attracted to girls everywhere. But when it comes time to walk over and say something, your brain suddenly shuts down.

The truth is that your language, self confidence, self esteem and frame are all linked together.

Forget The Tricks

A lot of guys think all they need is a bunch of memorized lines, or some bling, or some magic tricks, and then they’ll be getting some.

The problem is that girls are hard wired on a deep an ancient level to spot “fakes.”

From a biological perspective, when a woman has sex, and then gets pregnant, she’s out of commission for a while. So over the hundreds of thousands of years, women have developed an ultra powerful method of sniffing out cheats.

The absolute WORST thing that can happen to a woman, from an evolutionary perspective, is to be conned into bed by some sleazy caveman who’s going to sneak away before she wakes up.

Honesty and Congruence

Sure, being a single mother is tough. But back in the caveman days, being a single mother usually meant you AND your kid were doomed.

So the only ladies that survived were the ones that could effectively sniff out those cave men who were practicing some kind of pick up routine.

Whenever you talk to a girl, then, the most important thing is to NOT set off her “this guys is a fake sleaze” filters.

Meaning no matter WHO you are, and WHAT you’re going to talk about, keep things on the up and up as much as possible.

Now, here’s a secret that most guru’s won’t tell you.

If YOU like YOU, so will she.

It doesn’t matter who you are, how much money you make, or even how tall you are.

All Starts With Inner Game

If you REALLY like and appreciate yourself, AND you’re open and honest when talking to her, you’ll have a MUCH better chance of creating that magical female attraction that feels so incredibly good.

To give yourself an even better chance, talk to her about her. Let her ask about you whenever she feels comfortable enough.

Generate some natural self appreciation, walk over there, and just find out about her.

Ask The Right Questions

Find out what makes her tick. Find out what’s she’s interested in. Find out what she dreams about at night.

No pressure, no games, no manipulation.

Make it even easier with language technology that has been reverse engineered from the most naturally persuasive and charismatic folks EVER: