Category Archives: Congruence

How To Get Better At Anything

All Skills Can Be Mastered

How To Master Any Skill

The best way to get better at any skill is to simply practice.

This is pretty obvious for things like sports, music, or even cooking.

But we tend to overlook this simple rule when talking about thinking and other behaviors.

Consider feeling confident in certain situations.

It’s long been known that in the mind-body system, not only does form follow function, but function also follows form.

Wait, what?

If you ARE confident, then you’ll ACT confident. Meaning you’ll walk more upright, look people in the eye more often, speak a little bit more slowly and clearly.

However, if you AREN’T confident, you can ACT confident and the REAL confidence will follow.

Now, this is probably old news to you. In fact, this may be pretty obvious and self-evident.

Which is precisely WHY most people FORGET how powerful this is.

We tend to think that life changing behaviors and ideas must come with angelic trumpets blasting and the parting of the heavens.

But most of the MAJOR success you’ll achieve will be through LOTS of small, consistent steps.

Baby steps even.

Consider the confidence angle. If you spent TEN MINUTES, every single day, pretending to be confident, it would add up pretty quickly.

You don’t even have to talk to anybody. Just walk around where there’re other people like YOU are the King or Queen of the Earth.

The more you practice feeling confident, the more you WILL feel confident.

It’s like learning the scales on the piano. At first it’s tedious, takes all your brainpower, and is pretty boring.

But once you get it down, you can do it literally without thinking. 

ALL SKILLS, internal, external, or halfway in between are the same way.

At first practicing them is uncomfortable, takes lots of brain power, and feels weird. But so long as you don’t push yourself too hard, and give yourself plenty of time, there’s literally NO LIMIT to what you can do.

Getting in touch with your higher self is no different. Some people imagine some bolt of energy coming straight from Zeus and opening up your deep mind. 

But it’s really more like developing any other skill.

Spend a few minutes in quite introspection, and simply listen.

Listen for your inner wisdom and guidance. It’s there. It may be very quite, but it’s there.

And the more you PRACTICE listening, the stronger it will get.

If you started today, imagine where you’d be in six months.

Imagine if you started six months ago, where you’d be today.

Ready To Get Started?

Kundalini Activator

Develop Magnetic Congruence

Line Up Your Parts

Align Thyself

One of the most powerful things a person can do is be congruent.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, so it may not sound like anything new.

But one thing about any kind of self-development is it’s easy to get trapped in a world of vague words that don’t really mean anything.

One thing you learn if you study NLP is something called the “Meta Model.”

This is a set of language patterns designed to turn the vague into the specific.

As you can probably guess, they don’t work very well in polite conversation. Whenever we’re talking to others we are going to be necessarily vague.

If we show up and start asking “How specifically? Who specifically? Why specifically?” people are going to get pretty annoyed.

But when understanding ideas that can help us more easily get what we want, getting specific is necessary.

So back to that cool but vague word, “congruent.”

What EXACTLY does it mean?

In mathematics, it’s when two angles are the same.

But what does it mean in a social setting?

When somebody is behaving or communicating “congruently” what are they doing, specifically?

Think of the “parts” theory. We all have different parts. When we’re thinking about what to do on a Friday night, for example, part of us may want to go out, while another part of us wants to stay in.

If we are ever conflicted, in any behavior or communication, we are NOT congruent.

One way to tell when people are lying, for example, (certainly not foolproof) is when they break off eye contact, or become closed off physically.

They may not even know they’re doing it. They may even believe what they are saying, on one level.

But on another level, it feels “wrong.” 

If you’re in a relationship (and you’re paying attention) you can usually tell when somebody is not being congruent. They may do a good job of faking it, but it’s still pretty obvious.

(“Do you love me?” “Uh, yea, sure!”)

One of the most common ways we all display incongruence is when part of us wants something, but another part of us is afraid.

We ask our boss for a raise, for example. We are one hundred percent sure we WANT the raise, but when we ask, it’s tough to speak confidently. Part of us is afraid to ask, because we might get rejected.

Same with talking to attractive people, speaking up in meetings or in groups, or any other time we want to express ourselves.

As you can guess, one the biggest killers of congruence is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of dismissal, fear of being left behind.

The good news is that unless we’re facing down an angry tiger, our fears of false.

How do we get rid of them?

By getting in touch with our higher selves.

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

Trust Your Inner Angel

Let Your Brilliance Shine

There Is Treasure!

Imagine if you went to a new job.

You asked your boss what you should do, and he showed you your work station.

Maybe the first couple weeks, it was kind of intimidating. But after than, it started to become routine.

After that, maybe pretty boring. Trading time for a paycheck.

Now, if you’re out of work, this may sound like a dream come true.

But if you’ve ever been in this position, it can make the days last a long, long time.

Especially if you go home every night, eat the same foods, watch the same TV shows.

Sure, if you’ve got kids, that’s a different story. Watching and helping them grow up can make even the most horrible job doable.

But even then it can feel like you’re stuck in a hopeless rut that will never end.

What if life were like that?

What if some angel or spirit came down from the heavens, and explained everything to you?

And after understanding it, life itself became as boring and unimaginative as that factory job.

That would most definitely suck.

One of the best things in life is looking forward to something. Especially something you’ve got to make or do, and you aren’t quite sure how it’s going to turn out.

Maybe going to a vacation spot for the first time, or going on a date with somebody for the first time.

If you’ve got a uni degree, that feeling of first leaving home to study is a pretty exciting adventure. Or if you’ve moved to a new city for a new job. Or even moving into a new apartment. (What will the neighbors be like?)

That excitement that’s kind of mix of happiness, nervousness, and a bit of anxiety.

THAT is the stuff of life.

We were meant to be explorers. Not necessarily of the world, but of our own capabilities and skills.

Of relationships, new and old.

You’ve got greatness within you. And no matter how much you discover, there’s always more.

What will you discover next?

Check This Out:

Kundalini Activator

Develop Magnetic Attraction

Magnetic Lines of Force

Head Turning Social Charisma

What is the secret of charisma?

People who seem to have that “gift” simply walk into a room, and suddenly they’ve got everybody’s attention.

I’m not talking about famous people, or super gorgeous people, or obviously rich people.

In fact, “charisma” is pretty easy to fake. Once a college student decided to do an experiment. He made up a name, created some kind of “persona” and went to his local mall.

He brought a few other students who posed as publicists, bodyguards and a cameraman.

They just followed him around, all playing their part. He wasn’t walking or acting differently. Sure enough, a few people asked some of his “people” who he was.

Before long, the whole place was buzzing with excitement. Suddenly everybody “remembered” hearing that name before, even though he’d made it up.

Soon there was a crowd of people following him. Tweeting, taking pictures and posting everywhere.

He was fake, but their excitement wasn’t.

Obviously, while an interesting insight into human behavior, (and how easy we are to trick) charisma, REAL charisma, goes much deeper than that.

People who are genuinely charismatic have this energy about them. It’s always there. They don’t need a crew or any props.

You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it’s there.

They have a certain kind of relaxed focus. A slow and steady movement. Slow and steady speech, each word flows naturally, yet is perfect to describe the ideas in their mind.

No matter who they are talking to, they focus on them completely. They not only accept and respect themselves, just as they are, but they accept and respect others, just as they are.

They don’t talk down to people, they don’t seek approval from people.

It’s as if they have a glimpse into the entire meaning of the universe, and they know their part. They accept their part. They appreciate their part. They enjoy their part.

It’s as if they see some deep connection between all people that most of us miss.

No matter what situation they are in, they know, deep in their bones, everything will be OK.

Now, many people will say having this type of “energy” is like being born tall and good looking. You either have it, or you don’t.

Luckily, they are wrong.

This energy can be developed. Cultivated, expanded, and shared with others.

You’ve had this energy all along. Waiting to be released.

Learn How:

Kundalini Activator

Where Will Your Journey Take You?

Your Path is Waiting

Discover And Define Your Purpose

They say the biggest migration in human history was the California gold rush.

Countless people from the East Coast of the United States moved to the West Coast, when gold was discovered in 1849.

Now, that is a long journey. One a lot of people didn’t make. And the ones who were successful didn’t all find huge golden nuggets.

But there’s something with humans that gets us going on long journeys. So long as we believe there’s something at the end, we’ll get moving.

Some believe this exists on a very deep and subconscious level. Previous human migrations were based on massive climate change. Those that had the desire to uproot and move survived. Those who were content to sit around and wait to see how things played out didn’t.

Today, we still have the deep urge. Only it’s not always an urge to move physically. But it’s there.

Learning, creating, finding new ways to express ourselves.

If we don’t have SOME form of forward momentum, it’s easy to feel lost, stuck and even like there’s “no point.”

Especially today, when good jobs are vanishing faster than ice cubes on a summer sidewalk, it’s hard to find your place.

The good news is that any kind of forward momentum will help. Any kind of small project, exercise program, personal financial goal is better than just sitting around waiting for something to happen.

You were put here to do something great. The purpose of your life is to find out what that is.

Nobody is going to tell you. Nobody is going to hold your hand. Nobody is going to show you the way.

It’s scary, it’s risky, and it’s anything but guaranteed.

But taking bold action in the face of uncertainty is the very juice of life. The reward wouldn’t be so sweet if it was easy.

Since you’re reading this now, you must have SOME idea of your life’s dreams. Your purpose.

Have you started?

Far into the future, when you’ve long passed, what will you be remembered for? What will your contribution be?

What will be your life’s masterpiece?

You are the Hero of your life.

Choose your Journey, and get started:

Have You Begun Your Masterpiece Yet?

Your Life Is Waiting

Fully Adult and Responsible

There are two main phases of life, with one crappy one in between.

When we’re younger, we don’t really have to do much. We ask, and it is given.

(Usually).

Then when we get older, we need to participate. We need to give in order to get.

For example, if you celebrate X-mas, there comes a time when you need to start giving gifts as well as receiving them (or for birthdays or whatever).

However, there are many people that get “stuck” in this lower level.

It’s certainly easy to do. Politicians, advertisers, religions, are all heavily invested in keeping us in this “childhood” model of the world.

So long as we are “dependent” on them, it works. 

For them. But not for us.

If you take a good hard look at all the people in history who have created wonderful things, inventions, devices, pieces of artwork, they didn’t do it by simply being a “receiver.”

They did by acting upon their world. And they certainly didn’t do it alone. Even inventors who DID largely create things on their own were the first to say they were standing on the shoulders of giants.

In order to REALLY get the good stuff in life, you’ve got to get out there and participate in the world. You’ve got build relationships, and practice the ever present “give and take” that is life.

Sounds easy, but it can (and usually is) THE most difficult thing to do in life.

It’s hard to give up that feeling of getting or expecting something for nothing.

To make things worse, in between the childhood model of the world, and this fully functioning, adult CONSCIOUS CREATOR model of the world is part that feels like crap.

It’s when you’re starting to leave the childhood part behind, yet you haven’t quite arrived at the adult part.

This is where the “red pill” theory comes in.

You feel as if you’ve been lied to, you feel as if the world has “deceived you” somehow.

Believe it or not, these are just mental growing pains.

The butterfly fighting his way out of the cocoon.

When you finally cast those false beliefs of limitation, lack and victim based thinking behind, a whole new world will open up.

 A world waiting for you to participate. To learn and express you true skills.

Skills that will deliver your true gifts to the world, and in exchange receive the wealth and prosperity that is your birthright.

Make no mistake, it’s out there. Waiting for you.

But in order to bring it to you, you’ve got to create something magnificent.

What will be YOUR masterpiece?

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

Your Auto Pilot Brain

Your Set And Forget Brain

Can You Really Set And Forget?

There’s a huge desire in us humans for “auto pilot.”

Meaning we don’t like to think, so we’re always pretty easy to sell if whatever is we’re buying is “automatic” or “hands-free” or the ever popular “set-and-forget.”

After all, who wants to sit there and watch something if we can be doing other things, while that “thing” is busy taking care of business on its own?

Often times this is presented in business terms as “turnkey,” meaning all you really need to do is press a button and watch the business run on its own.

To be sure, this is a highly desirable trait, and very marketable if it actually works. Nobody wants to buy ANYTHING (business or not) that’s going to come with a complicated set of steps and instructions.

But since it’s such a huge marketing trigger, it’s often times abused.

Check any “work from home” forum in the “business opportunity” section and you’ll find endless “systems” being sold that are heavy with these terms.

Automatic. Autopilot. Turnkey system. Hands free. Set and forget. Push button simple. Etc.

Unfortunately, anything regarding business involves one very important, and often left out, aspect.

Other People.

No matter what kind of business you are in, you need customers. (Unless you’re the government lol).

And these customers all have limited funds. Which means they need to CHOOSE to buy your product, service, or whatever it is you are offering.

They don’t HAVE to.

And any kind of system that GUARANTEES profits, is also, by definition, GUARANTEEING that somewhere out there there’ll be people to buy.

And as I’m sure you can guess, this is highly unlikely. Unless maybe you’re selling water in the desert, or something similar, and you’re the ONLY game in town.

Does that mean that the ideas of “auto pilot” and “prosperity” are mutually exclusive?

Absolutely not.

Because the auto pilot is NOT in the business model itself. It’s in your BRAIN.

Humans are hard wired to learn.

In fact, we’re hard wired to learn, and then take whatever we’ve learned, and drop it down into our subconscious. 

Which means we’ll be just as effective, but on auto pilot.

Like riding a bike, playing an instrument (if you can) typing, driving, etc.

The best part is that ANYTHING related to prosperity is related to other people.

And humans come pre-programmed with a HUGE set of tools that allows us to talk to others, find out what they want, and then use our creativity of figure out how to help them get it.

And get paid.

Of course, this requires a bit of conscious action, a little bit of uncertainty, and the belief that you WILL succeed.

But once you get started, you’ll see how quickly it can become automatic.

Ultimate Life Strategy For Romance

Don't Be A Player

Too Much Game Is Harful

Learning too much game can do more harm than it’s worth.

There’s plenty of movies about some ultra player who’s ultra skillful with the ladies, and has billions of notches on beds all over town.

Then he meets “The One” but she sees him as a true player. Someone who’s nature is to love ’em and leave ’em.

Similar to the story of the frog and the scorpion. The scorpion begs for a ride, but the frog says he’ll sting him, and they’ll both die. The scorpion pleads and pleads, and finally the frog is convinced.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog, and they both die. Just as they are going under, the frog asks why, and the scorpion responds, “It’s my nature.”

This is the danger of learning so much game it becomes a part of who you are. So that any time you are talking to girls, you are “game mode” where you have one outcome, and one outcome only. 

To be sure, if you are absolutely certain you never ever want to settle down, then by all means. But even if you are sure now, Mother Nature has a way of messing you up when you least expect it.

You may be happily hopping from bed to bed, and then you get hit with the thunderbolt. Suddenly you’re in love. You don’t care if you ever see or sleep with another woman again.

Only problem is that girl you’re with sees you as a stone cold player.

And guess what? You may be just like that scorpion. The scorpion actually believed he wouldn’t kill the frog. But Mother Nature won.  She always does.

How do you avoid this?

If you have any inkling that you’d like to settle down in a real relationship with real potential, leave the game strategies behind.

Instead, practice simple social skills. Practice talking to people, and becoming generally interested in them. You’ll slowly expand your social circle, and build up a network of folks who’ve got your back, and you theirs.

With a solid social circle as your anchor, you’ll learn talking to cute girls doesn’t require any hidden strategies or ninja tactics. Just open, honest communication. No fear, no pretend nice guy or alpha crap to protect your ego.

Let people see the real you, while you continue to improve the real you.

You may be surprised what happens.

The Coming Storm

Are You Ready For What's Coming?

Are You Ready?

I remember watching that movie “Ice Age” a long time ago.

That one squirrel who couldn’t the nut out of the ice was the best part, IMO.

Anyhow, the movie was about a real ice age that happened 10-15K years ago. Now when ice ages come, they don’t show up over night. It’s not like you go to sleep one night when it’s all sunny and wake up and everything’s frozen.

But it does happen quickly. Quickly enough that the people at the time knew it was a good idea to get the heck out of dodge.

Now, whether or not they fully understood what was happening and why it was happening is open to debate.

But they did know it was getting colder. Then they’d move a little bit, to a warmer place. Then that place would start getting colder. Those that didn’t respond to the changing environment didn’t do very well.

Since all the animals were doing the same thing, those that figured they’d just “suck it up” and stay where they were soon found there was nothing to eat in addition to the colder and colder temperatures.

One of the biggest skills you can develop as a human is to accept the changing conditions, and respond accordingly.

If you figure you’ll “suck it up” hoping things will magically get better, they usually won’t.

The most successful people of all time realized that you can never really let your guard down. You’ve got to keep your eyes and ears peeled not only for opportunities, but for advancing dangers.

Economic changes don’t really happen over night. Sure, they’re easy to pinpoint a couple of decades or more after they’ve run their cycle, but not when you’re smack dab in the middle of one.

It’s like a line I like from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

The Heroine looks at the bad guy (a ghost pirate) and says:

“But I don’t believe in ghost stories!”

To which he replies:

“Well ya best believe in ’em, cause you’re IN one!”

People that wait to be told what to do may be waiting a while.

But those that can sense changes coming, and act accordingly, usually do pretty well.

Because in every crisis, in every dramatic change, expected or not, welcomed or not, lies HUGE opportunities.

Will you see them?

Will you act on them?

Then this is for you:

Prosperity Generator

Rules For Dating

Are You In Or Are You Out?

Skyrocket Your Attraction

A while back, there was a famous book for girls and dating, called “The Rules.”

Basically game for girls. Rules about not calling, when to should go out, etc. Basically ways to make the guy more attracted using ancient laws of influence, like scarcity, commitment and consistency, etc.

To be sure, understanding these are fantastic. They can help out a lot, not only in dating, but in life as well. But if you are using them on purpose, that’s when things get kind of squirrely.

Any time you have to use your conscious brain to alter your behavior in order to elicit a behavior from somebody, it can backfire.

These techniques work really well in sales for a couple of reasons. One is that you are using these to boost the “attraction” they have for your product, not you.

Which means it is a lot easier, since you can both see the product objectively. And when they buy the product, they can take it home, and it will still be the product. And assuming it’s a good product, not some fake piece of junk, they won’t get angry.

The other reason is when you’re selling a product, you only have to put on your “game face” for a short time. Maybe an hour or two, tops. This is true even when you are selling a $50,000 car. Much less if you’re selling a cell phone or some other electronics.

But consider using these techniques with girls. They’ll be attaching their feelings to you. Which means you’d better consistently follow up, and deliver the value you are covertly promising.

Also, it’s not like you only have to do this for a couple hours, like selling a car. You need to keep it up for a long, long time. As soon as you stop, you may be in trouble.

A much better set of “rules for guys” are disqualification rules. If these rules are applied, then you’ll never see her again. Instead of using some fake rules to increase her attraction, just use some real rules that you stick to, no matter what.

A list of things she has to have about her. And a list of things that she can’t have about her.

Stick to these rules, and simply be yourself, your real self, not some fake nice-guy self.

The thing about most guys is they HAVE no rules. Not conscious ones anyway. So when they walk up to her, she can kind of sniff the desperation.

But with some solid rules, you won’t have any desperation. Only some curiosity. Curiosity to find out whether or not can follow your rules or not.

And this will definitely increase your attraction.