Category Archives: Conversational Skills

Your Pre-Programmed Genius Mind

Easy Learning

You Can Learn Anything

The world can be a confusing place.

Most people don’t know what’s what, but they’d never admit to it.

Which means if you ask them about something important, rather than saying, “Gee, I have no idea…”  they’ll usually come up with some answer they think makes them look intelligent.

No big deal, unless we actually believe them.

Many people spend their lives based on these “truths” that really are nothing more than “best guesses” that were conjured up in the moment to protect somebody’s ego.

Then later on, once they realize things aren’t working the way they are supposed to, it feels as if we’ve been conned or lied to. This is a pretty shocking conclusion to come to, and it feels like a deep sucker punch to the gut.

It’s enough to make people throw in the towel, and give up. And many people do this.

But regardless of where you are in life, or what you’ve been told, it’s NEVER too late to get started building something magnificent.

Because you can discover the true secret any time, any place.

How?

Because smack dab between your ears is a master learner. A super genius explorer.  An action-feedback mechanism that helped you learn to walk, learn to talk, and can help you learn anything else.

Because you really only need two things.

A target, and a willingness to take action.

Every step you take will give you one of either two things, both of them good.

Closer to your target, or more information that will help you get closer to your target.

Regardless of how big or how far out your target may feel.

Of course, this means you’ll have to one very important thing. Something that many people are simply not willing to do.

And that is to stop believing in magic.

Anything you want, you can get.

But it will require your participation. It will move toward you, but you’ve got to meet it halfway.

Once you start taking action, you’ll not only flip a switch in your brain that will fire up your motivation, but the world will respond.

Every single thing that exists in the world today, and will exist far into the future was created through this very simple process.

Which means if you’re willing to take action, the world is yours.

Do You Wish Instead of Choose?

You May Be Waiting A Long Time For The Birthday Fairy

Strong Choices Are Like Magic

What’s the difference between a wish and a choice?

Way back when I was in college, I had this foolish notion that as soon as I got my degree, employers would start banging down my door begging to hire me.

This does happen in the movies, and when you’ve got the right degree and the economy is red hot, this can happen.

But not usually.

Shortly after college I started sending out resumes by the dozens, and had to work a couple of crap jobs before I settled into the beginnings of what would be a pretty decent career.

But even then it didn’t just “happen.” I had to actively participate.

Now, this may sound obvious, but often times we kind of neglect the “actively participate” part.

We “wish,” meaning we imagine that somebody is just going to show up and take care of things.

Nathaniel Brandon, a famous psychologist who’s written tons of self-help books, had this big sign in his office back when he did therapy.

“Nobody Is Coming.”

This, of course, was to remind his clients that the only person who was going to make things happen was them.

Sure, people win the lottery every day. People get discovered on the street by movie producers. People bump into their dream lovers at the supermarket and the pieces just kind of automatically fit together.

But if your main strategy is to simply “get lucky,” you may be waiting a while.

The main difference between a wish and choice is one of responsibility. When we wish, we’re really waiting for somebody (or the world in general) to give us something.

When we choose, we know that it’s up to us.

Now, many people are scared to choose. Because if we choose something and we can’t get it, that means we pretty much suck, and we’d better get our cardboard box ready, right?

Nope.

Simply the act of choosing fires up different brain circuits than wishing.

Wishing lives in the childhood part of our brains, when we expect to simply “receive.”

But choosing is for grownups. Grownups who know that ever action is beneficial.

Every action yields some kind of result. Every result gives us more information.

And the more information and experience we gain, the better and more effectively we can “operate” on the world to create our choices.

In the Prosperity Program, you’ll get a dual induction hypnosis session designed to take any wish, no matter how big, and how matter how vague, and turn it into a choice.

A powerful choice that will inspire you to action.

The natural action that will manifest your desires.

Ease Your Way Up The Dating Ladder

One Rung At A Time

One Step At A Time

Many guys tell themselves they’d like to get better at talking to girls. Getting their numbers, going on dates, and creating relationships. Then they go out with their buddies, maybe think about approaching, and try something. Then they get blown out, and go home.

While it’s admirable to want to improve your skills in any areas, you’ve got to go about it the right way.

The dating forums are filled with angry guys who’ve tried a few times, didn’t get what they wanted, and then figured the game was rigged, or the world is not worth dating, or any other narrative that protects their ego.

But think of it this way. Imagine you wanted to learn to play the piano. So you went and bought yourself an expensive keyboard. Then you bought a songbook by Bach or some other master composer.

Without even learning how to hold your fingers correctly, you opened your songbook to some random page, and tried to interpret those crazy looking squiggly lines, and started banging away.

Your friends (whom you’d invited to give you moral support) started laughing hysterically. Or maybe they tried to give you some advice. Or maybe they told you that all pianos were rigged somehow, and you had to be some kind of insider to know how to play them correctly.

Does this sound like a great way to learn the piano? Of course it doesn’t.

Things like learning music, or a language or a martial art, take time. We know they take time.

In fact, if you have ZERO knowledge of any kind of martial art, how long before you’d be ready to enter into a black belt level tournament?

At least a couple years. A couple years of dedicated practice, focused exercises, and serious dieting.

Talking to girls is no different. You don’t start at the top level. You don’t go the hottest bars in town, talk to the hottest girls, and expect to get some decent results.

Social skills are learned skills. Sure, some people are naturally good, just like some people are naturally gifted in music or sports.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to play.

How do you learn seduction?

Same way you’d learn anything else. Start slow. Practice consistently. Give yourself plenty of time.

The best way to start to practice your social skills is to simply talk to people. Any time you see somebody that might be interesting, simply start up a conversation, and see what happens.

If you do this regularly, like working out at the gym, you will improve.

Get started.

Rules For Dating

Are You In Or Are You Out?

Skyrocket Your Attraction

A while back, there was a famous book for girls and dating, called “The Rules.”

Basically game for girls. Rules about not calling, when to should go out, etc. Basically ways to make the guy more attracted using ancient laws of influence, like scarcity, commitment and consistency, etc.

To be sure, understanding these are fantastic. They can help out a lot, not only in dating, but in life as well. But if you are using them on purpose, that’s when things get kind of squirrely.

Any time you have to use your conscious brain to alter your behavior in order to elicit a behavior from somebody, it can backfire.

These techniques work really well in sales for a couple of reasons. One is that you are using these to boost the “attraction” they have for your product, not you.

Which means it is a lot easier, since you can both see the product objectively. And when they buy the product, they can take it home, and it will still be the product. And assuming it’s a good product, not some fake piece of junk, they won’t get angry.

The other reason is when you’re selling a product, you only have to put on your “game face” for a short time. Maybe an hour or two, tops. This is true even when you are selling a $50,000 car. Much less if you’re selling a cell phone or some other electronics.

But consider using these techniques with girls. They’ll be attaching their feelings to you. Which means you’d better consistently follow up, and deliver the value you are covertly promising.

Also, it’s not like you only have to do this for a couple hours, like selling a car. You need to keep it up for a long, long time. As soon as you stop, you may be in trouble.

A much better set of “rules for guys” are disqualification rules. If these rules are applied, then you’ll never see her again. Instead of using some fake rules to increase her attraction, just use some real rules that you stick to, no matter what.

A list of things she has to have about her. And a list of things that she can’t have about her.

Stick to these rules, and simply be yourself, your real self, not some fake nice-guy self.

The thing about most guys is they HAVE no rules. Not conscious ones anyway. So when they walk up to her, she can kind of sniff the desperation.

But with some solid rules, you won’t have any desperation. Only some curiosity. Curiosity to find out whether or not can follow your rules or not.

And this will definitely increase your attraction.

The Trifecta Of Magic Relationship Generation

Have Yourself A Three Way!

One Thing – Three Benefits

There’s one thing that will skyrocket your game more than anything else.

This one thing will not only eliminate approach anxiety, but will make you much more attractive. And it will allow you to get girls that are much closer to what you’re looking for.

What’s more, the more you do this, the less chances you’ll get emotionally destroyed like some guys.

What is this thing?

Criteria.

Now, most guys don’t have ANY conscious criteria when looking for girls. All they need is that she be above a certain level of attractiveness, and she like him enough to date him and sleep with them.

Beyond that, they’re pretty much OK with anything. 

The funny thing about humans (both men AND women) is we are REALLY good at reverse rationalization. Now, many guys think this is purely a female trait, but in truth, we both do it. In fact, many neuro-biologists are starting to think one of the main purposes of the conscious mind is to be some kind of after the fact story teller. Making up stuff so our subconscious behavior fits into some kind of narrative that won’t drive us crazy.

How does this present itself in guys?

We see a girl, know absolutely nothing about her. We sleep with her. We still know pretty much nothing about her. But since our caveman brains are hard wired to do ANYTHING to keep a steady supply of sex close at hand, we’ll make up all kinds of stories about her that make her sound like the “perfect girl for us.”

No matter what her personality is like, no matter what she wants to do with her life, we somehow believe that’s EXACTLY the kind of girl we were looking for.

But this is just a self-hypnotic con. This is also why many relationships crash and burn. After that initial self-hypnosis wears off, we finally see who we’ve been with. And when we find we don’t have much in common, AND we aren’t sexually attracted any more, there’s no reason to stick around.

From both the male AND the female perspective.

How do we avoid this?

Simple. Have a list of non-physical criteria, AND the stones to act on it BEFORE you sleep with her.

Meaning if you meet an attractive lady who’s good to go, but she doesn’t meet your criteria, you’ve GOT to disqualify her.

This will make approaching girls easier since you aren’t sure if they’re qualified or not.

This will make you much more attractive because you’ll be a lot less needy and desperate.

This will make it less likely to get burned later as you’ll end up with somebody you’re actually compatible with.

Try it, and see.

Secrets Of First Conversations With Girls

How To Avoid Those Pauses

Avoid The Uncomfortable Silences

There’s two pretty diverse schools of thought when it comes to talking to girls, especially the first time.

One is to simply be yourself. This is much more honest, organic, real and spontaneous. If it works, there’s nothing better than two people spontaneously exchanging that magical conversational energy flow.

On the other hand, it can be pretty terrifying. If you ever get to those uncomfortable silences, when nobody knows what to say, it’s a real rally-killer, as they say in baseball.

To combat this fear, many guys try memorized lines, and stories. Even the entire conversation is kind of like a stand up comedian doing his bit for the thousandth time in front of a laughing crowd.

Now, if you do this with girls, it can work and work well. Sure, the first few times you may stumble, but once you’ve got your rap down, it’s pretty repeatable. Walk up, spit out your ten minute set of patterns, and get her fired up to jump on your junk.

Of course, later on, she may wonder what the heck happened. That guy she met BEFORE having sex was super fluent and articulate, and now she’s wondering why you don’t talk with such energy, enthusiasm, or sentence structure.

If all you want is a string of one night stands, then Bob’s your uncle.

But if you want something more, more natural is more better. Less memorized and more spontaneous.

But then you may run into those uncomfortable silences.

What do you do then?

The easiest way is to simply practice talking to people, wherever you go. But instead of just talking about the weather or why the bus is late or why the local sports team sucks, see yourself as a treasure hunter.

Make it a point to try and find something interesting about everybody you talk to.

This will do three very helpful things.

The first is it will make talking to people a lot easier. Since you’ve got a specific intention in mind, you won’t worry about trying to keep the conversation going.

Two is it will give you a lot of experience with a lot of people, especially in feeling with those random pauses that WILL come up. And when you’re talking to some random dude or old lady in line at the supermarket, those random pauses won’t bother you so much.

Three is it will give you a lot of experience to draw from, especially when you find some interesting stories. You may think that woman in front of you in the supermarket is the most boring stay at home mom ever, based on her clothes and the items in her cart. But she might have been stuck on a cruise ship for three weeks without power, or gotten lost in a foreign country, or something else totally random AND amazing.

What do you do with these stories?

Whenever you’re talking to a cute girl, and you come up to one of those pauses, just whip out a story of one of your discovered treasures.

“Hey, that reminds me. I was talking this lady at the supermarket the other day, and she went on a cruise too, only her ship sunk and she was rescued by a Russian submarine!”

This will not only give you something interesting to talk about, you’ll come across as a cool guy who can talk to anybody, anywhere, any time.

Something that’s very attractive.

How To Become Comfortable With Females

There's A Party Out There Waiting For You

Practice Makes Perfect

Remember when you were a kid?

Maybe, maybe not. If you’ve ever watched kids interact with each other, it’s pretty amazing.

Generally, the younger they are, the more fearless they are. They don’t stop and think about what they are going to say based on what they think might happen. They don’t hesitate in talking to somebody based on how they think they might respond.

They see all people as regular people. They haven’t learned to categorize anybody according to race or gender.

Then, as we grow up, we start to categorize people. We have to. The more we have to start becoming responsible for our lives, the less free stuff and support we get from our parents and other adults, we don’t really have the luxury to throw caution to the wind. We have to sort of pick and choose.

Now, this may not sound very politically correct, but if we didn’t do this, we’d be conned right and left. 

However, often times we make huge errors in judgment. Whenever we discriminate based on race or gender.

Now, before you think I’m going to go off on a PC-preachy tangent, hold your horses.

Consider how we perceive females, before and after we start to “judge” people.

When we are kids, they are kids, just like us, and we treat the like such.

But then we go through puberty, and they suddenly have amazing power. They can provide us with incredible pleasure, or horrible rejection. All in the way they look at us and talk to us.

If you’ve got any married guy friends that are pretty happy in their relationship, watch how THEY interact with women.

Usually, they’re much more laid back than single guys.

Why is that?

Because, for the most part, females have become normal females again.  Unless of course, they run across some incredibly hot super model who’s TRYING to create sexual energy everywhere she goes.

The secret to talking to women is to simply see them as people, instead of those amazing creatures with such amazing power.

How do you do that? Well, you could go out and get married, but that would kind of defeat the purpose!

The easiest way to see females as ordinary people, (which they are, BTW) is to simply talk to as many as you can WITHOUT having any kind of hope or expectation that anything will happen OTHER than a polite conversation.

The more you do this, the easier it will get.

Once you get to a certain level of comfort, that’s when the fun begins.

Quickly Accelerate Your Social Confidence

From Zero To Social Hero

How To Build Social Momentum

Momentum is an incredible thing.

Once you get going, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

This is true for behavior as well as physical momentum, but for completely different reasons.

With physical momentum, you’re relying on Newton’s Second Law (bodies in motion tend to stay in motion). Once you get something going, all you need to do is put in enough energy in the system to overcome the natural resistance, like friction, and you’re good.

If you reduce friction, you can coast for quite a while.

Similarly, when you’re doing some kind of behavior, it’s much, much easier to keep going, than it is to get going.

Especially if you’re doing something that involves uncertainty.

But unlike pure physics, the longer you’re going, the easier it gets.

Why?

Because one of the biggest anxieties when interacting with others is you never know what’s going to happen. Usually, when you do something the first time, (like ride a motorcycle or use a pogo stick) it’s kind of shaky the first couple of times. But once you get used to it, you can pretty much do it without thinking.

But talking to people isn’t like that. Every single time is different.

So the more you talk to people, the easier it gets for a couple of reasons. One is you’re have more experience with a wide diversity of people. For this reason, it’s crucial to talk to as many different people as you can. 

If you’re trying to build up your confidence in talking to a girl of a specific type, talking to regular people will help. It will build in your deep understanding that no matter WHO you talk to, most people have a LOT in common. So when you do see that girl, you’ll see her more a human than an imaginary perfect angel. 

The second reason it will keep getting easier, is you’ll build up your experience of handling uncertainty.

Sure, it’s never going to be completely comfortable doing things where you don’t know what’s going to happen.

But the more you can prove to yourself that you can handle any conversation with anybody, no matter what happens, the fact that you DON’T know what’s going to happen will bother you less and less.

So if you want to get better at talking to gorgeous girls, talk to people. All people. Everywhere. Start slow and work your way up.

Anytime you see an opportunity, exchange a few words, and see what happens.

It will make MANY THINGS in life much, much easier.

Not just girls.

How To Practice Social Skills

Drill Baby Drill!

How To Consistently Increase Your Skills

Most people have a belief that they’ll be able to “step up to the plate” when the time comes.

When it comes to girls, this is a very convenient lie guys tell themselves. They see a girl across the room they’d like to get to know, but then they feel a bit of anxiety. Since they don’t want to admit to themselves (and most likely can’t) that they’d like to, but they can’t because they’re too afraid, their hamster starts spinning.

They figure out SOMETHING about her that disqualifies her. Then they tell themselves that since she’s not really his type, he won’t bother going over there. This is a very quick self-deception that happens in a couple seconds, before he even knows what’s going on.

The human brain is ultra quick, and ultra sneaky when it comes to protecting the ego.

The the guy says something like, “Well, of course, I’m nervous, but if I ever DO see a girl that’s my type, I’ll have NO PROBLEM walking over there. Until then, I’m a super ninja observer of society.”

Unless you’re dating several super models and you’re super happy with your relationships with females, you’re likely doing this all the time. This is common, and all people do it.

How can you avoid this? Or at least diminish the effect it has on your ability to talk to cute girls you MIGHT find interesting?

Practice.

As important as getting into a decent relationship is, and as dependent on social skills as that is, few people feel the need to “practice” social skills.

But think of something similar, like public speaking. People realize that if they become better and more comfortable at public speaking, they’ll make more money, and have more job opportunities. So they practice.

Just like anything you want to get better at, the more you practice, they better you’ll get.

Why should talking to girls, or people in general, be any different.

How do you practice?

Simply take whatever level you’re good at, and push the comfort zone a bit. Then practice like anything else. Choose 30 minutes, where you’ll do nothing but practice.

Just like you’d spend 30 minutes practicing scales on the piano, or down at the dojo or the gym. You don’t practice the piano or martial arts whenever you have the opportunity, do you? No, you make time to practice. And when you practice, you drill yourself.

Do the same with girls.

Pick something you’d like to get better at. Approaching, opening, flirting, whatever.

Then choose a certain amount of time, every single day, and practice doing that. Only that. Nothing more. Nothing less.

When that (whatever it is) becomes so easy it’s boring, start practicing something a little bit harder.

How To Radiate Confidence and Attraction

Don't Make This Mistake

Ditch The Nice Guy Routine

One of the most attractive things in a person is congruence. If you want to do better with the ladies, all you’ve got to do is increase your congruence.

What is congruence? Basically it means being your true, honest self. Now, this doesn’t mean blurting out whatever comes to your mind. But it does mean not hiding your emotions, intentions and desires.

Many guys, when talking to girls, tend to hold back. They’re afraid of rejection, afraid of offending her and ruining their chances, or maybe even saying something silly.

So they pretend to be somebody they’re nice. Many guys go too far in the opposite direction. They’re so worried about offending her, that they become overly nice. This is the stereotypical “nice guy” that girls don’t like. In fact, they despise them.

Not because they are mean, or they’d rather date some biker who just escaped from prison. It’s because they don’t trust him. Maybe consciously he seems OK. But on a subconscious level, he’s sending some creepy vibe. Some vibe that says “I’d really like to have sex with you but I’m pretending really hard that I just want to be your friend.”

Sex is natural, normal and healthy. Sexual desire is natural, normal and healthy.

Yea, but what about that time you were checking a girl and she gave you a dirty look?

She gave you a dirty look not because you were checking her out, but because you were checking her out while feeling like you were doing something wrong. You judged yourself before she got a chance to. Since you yourself felt you were doing something wrong, so did she.

That’s why some guys can seemingly get away with murder. They talk raunchy, tell dirty jokes, and have no problem talking about sexual topics.

Since they accept these as normal things, so does she.

She’d LOVE IT if you talked to her like you talk to your buddies. Relaxed, confident, playfully teasing her, and generally  having a good tie.

So, back to that hard to define word, “congruence.”

Simply accept your desires. Don’t be afraid to look at girls, and let them know through your eye contact and self confidence that you like what you see.

Do this, and you’ll be miles ahead of all the other clowns out there.