Category Archives: Creativity

How To Be Comfortable Around Anybody

Turn Off Your Shield

It’s a very common experience to think of something to say after the fact.

Like you’re in a conversation with your friends, and somebody says something, and you don’t know how to respond.

Then later on, maybe at home or in the car, you think of witty comeback.

Or maybe you’ve had this experience. You’ve got to give a speech. You practice at home, in front of the mirror, over and over. Then you give the speech, only you don’t remember much of it.

OK, how about this one. You’ve got a great idea in your head. You rehearse what you’re going to say. Maybe to your boss, your partner, or your kids.

But when you say it, it doesn’t sound nearly as good. Maybe even people look at you like you’re crazy.

That can really hurt. Especially if you were fully expecting them to embrace your idea.

What gives?

Why do we sometimes have so much trouble communicating? It’s not rocket science. We’re not trying to reverse engineer Euclidian Geometry.

The reason is all have a kind of imaginary “bubble” around us. One that pops up unexpectedly.

When we’re with our close friends, it’s rarely present. We can say whatever we want. We know from our experience that they’re our close friends, so we’re not worried about rejection.

But when it’s somebody we don’t really know, AND it’s somebody important, we suddenly are very careful how we speak.

Now, this rarely happens consciously. We don’t carefully choose our words like some high level negotiator or diplomat.

But we do severely limit ourselves. Our chests constrict. Our vocal chords get a bit tighter. We speak from a slightly higher point in our diaphragms.

It’s that ancient “fight or flight” response coming to save us. Only it doesn’t know we’re not going into battle or trying to scare a tiger away from our cave.

We’re just talking to some person, who’s just like us, and we may get something good, we may not.

Think of what you could accomplish, what you could get, if you could talk to ANYBODY as naturally and easily as your close friends.

Not necessarily say the same things, but if you were as relaxed and confident. If you were not worried in the least of rejection.

Talking to your boss, giving speeches, talking to attractive people.

Just imagine if you were as comfortable talking your boss into giving you a raise as you were convincing your friend to meet you at the corner pub!

The good news is that you can. Because all those fears and anxieties that may be subconsciously holding you back can be ejected.

With the right mental exercises, and some daily journaling, you can get rid of the for good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

How Do You Decide?

Two Crucial Life Skills

Most people like being told what to do.

Not all the time, of course. But whenever there’s any kind of doubt, question or uncertainty, one common response is to look around for some kind of authority.

When I visited my friend in the hospital after she had her first kid, her and her husband, both professionals, looked completely at a loss.

She looked and me and said, “I have idea what I’m supposed to do!”

If you’ve got kids of your own, you know the feeling.

This is both the best part AND the worst part about being a fully functioning adult.

One is that nobody tells you what to do, so you can do whatever you want.

But since there’s nobody telling you what to do, if you mess up, it’s all you.

This can be pretty terrifying, leaving a lot of us stuck in indecision.

Sometimes even the simplest decisions can take forever, if we’re the only ones deciding.

For many situations, having one “decision maker” is pretty efficient. I was at this small seminar once, and the instructor decided we’d order some pizzas for lunch. Just deciding what kind to get, that would satisfy everybody, took over thirty minutes!

It’s definitely a balance. A very delicate one. You’ve got to be bold enough to make the decisions that really count, and know when to step back and let somebody else do the deciding when it’s not that important, at least to you.

Those that tend to do best have two very important qualities. One is they make a decision and stick to it. They don’t waffle around and wait for everybody’s input in hopes of avoiding the dreaded failure.

They quickly weigh their options, and decide.

As the ancient Samurais said, “Every decision must be made within seven breaths.”

The second crucial skill is to fully accept the responsibility of your decisions. No blaming, no guilt, no self-punishment.

With these two skills alone, you can get very, very far in life. Because every single decision you make will give you more experience and knowledge, that will make the rest even better.

Even if you’re starting from zero, with only a vague idea of where you’re going, and how you want to get there.

Choose, take action, measure results, own them, and choose again.

Is it really that simple?

Once you get rid of all those emotional blind spots and obstacles (that EVERYBODY has), yes. It is.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

The Magic Alchemy Machine

Imagination Is Everything

Most people have zero idea how powerful their imagination is.

Many believe that at best, it’s something to use to kill time when you’re bored. Fantasize about your future, that guy or girl you like, or that you’re the star in the TV show you’re watching.

Others see it as some horrible enemy that screws things up. Just when they get ready to try something new, their imagination takes over and shows them all the awful things that will happen if things go wrong.

Let’s say you had some kind of mystery tool. Maybe one day you were cleaning out your garage and you found this cool shiny thing with a bunch of buttons.

You started hammering on the buttons, in random order, and it made some cool noises and flashing lights. But some buttons made it spit out some stinky gas. So you figured it’d be some kind of fun thing to play with if you ever got bored.

Maybe when you and your buddies were sitting around, you’d take turns pushing the buttons in random order just to see what would happen.

Maybe cool, maybe not.

But what if you found this cool machine, as well as a detailed owners manual?

And there were TONS of “recipes” in there, to push the buttons in a specific order, and instead of sounds or smells, you got actual things out of this magic machine. Actual physical objects like books, computers, food, or stacks of money.

There was even a detailed section on how to program this machine, not only to make more complicated things, but to make more machines.

What would you think then?

The truth is we’ve all got a machine just like that.

Your imagination.

Only most of us think it’s something to play around with when we’re bored, and even then it may backfire on us.

The select few of you who take the time to learn how to use this “machine” can create magnificent things.

All you need is an instruction manual, some time, and an idea of what you’d like to create.

Can it really be that simple?

Check it out, and see:

Mind Persuasion

Do You Deserve What You Want?

Creation Is Easier Than Receiving

One of our worst fears is rejection.

This is at the root of many of our other fears. We want something, but we feel if we express our desires, we’ll get shot down. From the tiniest things like asking for the salt to asking a cute person for their phone number, it feels as though we’re on center stage when we’re warming up to pop the question.

However, like many other elements of our personality and communication, there’s a lot of stuff going on.

One thing that people will respond to is our interpretation of ourselves. Little kids have no fear, no shame, no worries. They just blurt out whatever they want. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don’t.

But you’d have to be an ogre living under a bridge to NOT think this is the prime reason kids are so cute.

Now, if this happens to be your kid announcing to the world what they want at any given time, it can be pretty embarrassing. But to everybody else, it’s pretty cute.

One important distinction to be aware of when discussing adult communication is the difference between structure and content.

The content is that specific thing we are asking for. The salt, the phone number, the raise, etc.

The structure is HOW we are asking for it. And a primary driver of the structure we wrap around our content is our interpretation of the content, and our “deservingness” to receive it.

If we are asking for something we don’t think we deserve (for logical or completely illogical reasons) that will come across in how we ask. So when we DO get shut down, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with the content (that which we are asking for) but our own interpretation.

If we don’t think we deserve it, why should anybody else? Especially if they’re being asked to put time and even money into us getting it?

Now we can also fool ourselves just as easily. We can overcompensate, and “pretend” that we REALLY deserve, and ask for it with all kinds of fake enthusiasm. But then we sound like some sleazy salesperson trying to be our friend.

How can we believe we deserve it (whatever IT is) without sounding like we just came from a super charged guru seminar?

Remember who you are.

Remember why you are here, and what you are creating. You weren’t put here to be “given” stuff, like a kid who cleaned his room on time.

You were put here to create things. And on the other side of everything you’d like, you have something equally as valuable to give.

That part of yourself that is pure energy. Pure spirit. Pure wisdom.

Get in touch with THAT part of you, and you’ll never feel fear again.

Kundalini Activator

How To Generate Charisma

Enjoy Life And Others Will Enjoy You

Being charismatic is a powerful skill to have.

One thing about us humans is we are generally fixated on content, when it’s the structure that drives out emotions.

Take a pretty good stand up comic. He or she will tell some pretty common stories. Ones that, on their own may not seem like much on paper.

But how they deliver them is what makes the difference.

Not only do they use incredible gestures and “out of the box” facial expressions, but they take those normal stories, and break them up so we can’t help but focus our attention on them.

For comparisons sake, take a regular person. They start talking to one or two people at a party. For some reason, they really get into their story. A cool feedback loop is created between speaker and listener.

Before long, a crowd grows. But then something happens. The person suddenly gets nervous. Instead of telling their story to close friends, now they’re the center of attention, and it may feel a bit strange.

What if you could feel outgoing, energetic and charismatic around not only your friends, but strangers as well?

What if you didn’t have to wait around for moments like that to “just happen”?

The truth is that you can. But it takes some practice.

The thing about people who are naturally charismatic is that they appreciate life. Not just the awesome parts, but the normal, everyday parts.

Remember, it’s really not the content (WHAT we are talking about) that people like about us. It’s the structure, it’s HOW we are talking about it.

Now, some people go overboard, and lay on some really fake charisma. This is easy to spot a mile away.

This what cheesy salespeople do when you talk about stuff you KNOW they don’t care about, but pretend to.

What I’m talking about is real, honest to goodness appreciation.

How do you practice this?

Just take a few moments every day, and take a few minutes off. Close your eyes, slowly breathe in and out, and feel the force of life pulsing through you.

Feel and appreciate that deep presence of energy that has been there since the dawn of time, and will be there long, long into the future.

Slowly feel this energy resonate through you, and generate genuine appreciation for this energy.

The energy of you. The energy that allows you to experience the world, be in the world, and change the world every time you interact with it.

Practice feeling that appreciation, and that appreciation will grow.

Learn More:

Kundalini Activator

Accept And Ride The Flow Of Life

Be Open To Your Own Energy

Where does energy come from?

Hard question to answer, since it shows up in many different ways.

On a very basic, fundamental physics level, there’s the energy that moves matter. And since Einstein proved that energy IS matter, it’s pretty safe to safe that the ENTIRE UNIVERSE is made of the same “stuff.”

What is that stuff? What is the nature of that stuff? How does that stuff make two people that look very similar behave very differently?

Even the same person in two different situations?

On some days, we’re “on.” Everything we do works. Lights are green, doors are opened, ALL of our jokes are funny, and people seem to genuinely enjoy being with us and talking to us.

Other days, it’s like the entire universe is like an impatient parent. “Not now! Please leave me alone!”

Nobody laughs at your jokes, every single light is red, there’s NEVER any parking spaces.

What gives?

Is it random chance? It can’t be random. Since the laws of physics, chemistry and biology seem to keep working.

Our arms suddenly don’t detach from our bodies and float out in space. The tires on our cars suddenly don’t start sliding all over the road as if the laws of friction have taken the day off.

The answer may lie with our own ACCEPTANCE of our energy. Whether we let it flow through us, or whether we fight it, consciously or unconsciously.

Many of the things we’d like to do in life don’t require we do MORE stuff, but they require we do LESS stuff.

For example, if you see an interesting person, for business or romance, you may want to talk to them.

You don’t need to learn how to talk. You don’t need to learn how to walk over there. You don’t need to take whatever they say, and riff on it to build a mutually enjoyable conversation.

All of these things are natural human skills. Hard wired into our brains.

However, you DO need to get out of your own way. Stop fighting with your natural energy and enthusiasm. STOP spinning those stories in your mind of what MIGHT go wrong.

Humans are social creatures, after all. We are also creators, builders, inventors, and explorers.

It’s just a matter of ACCEPTING your energy, and let it flow uninhibited.

THAT’S what it means to be fully human.

Are You Ready?

Kundalini Activator

Fire Or Water – Your Choice

Success Is An Inside Job

There’s a very old Sufi poem (by Rumi, I believe) I like.

The gist of it is that if we step through fire, we’ll end up nice cool water.

But if we go straight to the cool water, we’ll end up in the fire.

This, of course, is a metaphor for life.

The things we think are easy are only easy in the short term. They generally build up into HUGE long term problems.

That ice cream may taste good, but if you eat it every single day, you won’t feel so great.

On the other hand, it may seem like the worst idea possible to go for a walk when you’re favorite TV show is on, but once you make it a habit, you’ll feel pretty good.

And that “good feeling” that comes from doing things that aren’t so great in the now, but build up, is a much, much different “good feeling” from doing those things in the present.

Those “present only” good feelings (like sleeping in, eating cheeseburgers for breakfast etc) are pure pleasure. There’s no feeling of accomplishment built in. These pure-pleasure feelings come from the outside.

On the other hand, that feeling you get when waking up early every morning has become a habit, or going for a walk at night instead of eating ice cream is a good feeling that comes from within, and is based on your own accomplishments and actions.

One of the ways this paradox manifests itself is when we want somebody to “tell us what to do.”

Sure we’d like to meet that special someone. Sure we’d like a much more fulfilling career. Sure we’d like to achieve self-actualization. If only somebody would tell us what to do.

The only problem is that all the REALLY good things in life, things that last, like wealth, relationships, REAL happiness, HAVE TO come from within.

Nobody can tell you any step by step procedures or paint by numbers steps.

You HAVE to work it out on your own.

Sure, you can learn the basic structure, just like you can learn how exercise and healthy foods will help you get in shape. But the SPECIFIC exercises, and the SPECIFIC food, are up to you to figure out. Some things work for some people, others work for others.

Creating relationships is the same. Talk to enough people until you find somebody that spins your propellers. HOW and WHEN you do that, and what you specifically say is up to you to figure out.

The good news is that there are NO shortcuts.

Why is this good news?

Because if there were, then EVERYBODY would be on them.

Since there’re not, every single path you find to any kind of success will be YOURS.

Your creation, your dreams, your results.

Nobody else’s.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

The Coming Storm

Are You Ready?

I remember watching that movie “Ice Age” a long time ago.

That one squirrel who couldn’t the nut out of the ice was the best part, IMO.

Anyhow, the movie was about a real ice age that happened 10-15K years ago. Now when ice ages come, they don’t show up over night. It’s not like you go to sleep one night when it’s all sunny and wake up and everything’s frozen.

But it does happen quickly. Quickly enough that the people at the time knew it was a good idea to get the heck out of dodge.

Now, whether or not they fully understood what was happening and why it was happening is open to debate.

But they did know it was getting colder. Then they’d move a little bit, to a warmer place. Then that place would start getting colder. Those that didn’t respond to the changing environment didn’t do very well.

Since all the animals were doing the same thing, those that figured they’d just “suck it up” and stay where they were soon found there was nothing to eat in addition to the colder and colder temperatures.

One of the biggest skills you can develop as a human is to accept the changing conditions, and respond accordingly.

If you figure you’ll “suck it up” hoping things will magically get better, they usually won’t.

The most successful people of all time realized that you can never really let your guard down. You’ve got to keep your eyes and ears peeled not only for opportunities, but for advancing dangers.

Economic changes don’t really happen over night. Sure, they’re easy to pinpoint a couple of decades or more after they’ve run their cycle, but not when you’re smack dab in the middle of one.

It’s like a line I like from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

The Heroine looks at the bad guy (a ghost pirate) and says:

“But I don’t believe in ghost stories!”

To which he replies:

“Well ya best believe in ’em, cause you’re IN one!”

People that wait to be told what to do may be waiting a while.

But those that can sense changes coming, and act accordingly, usually do pretty well.

Because in every crisis, in every dramatic change, expected or not, welcomed or not, lies HUGE opportunities.

Will you see them?

Will you act on them?

Then this is for you:

Prosperity Generator

How To Rediscover Your Inner Genius

Re-Discover Your Abilities

When you were very young, you knew the secret of success.

You knew how to put your mind on a target and then do whatever it took to get there.

For most of us, that built in strategy is “programmed out” of us as we grow older.

Nothing sinister, nothing intentional. It’s just the way things kind of happen.

Generally speaking, people that become super rich have less of that genius strategy programmed out. They retain enough to keep setting their sites on bigger and better goals as they go through life.

There comes a point in most people’s lives where our biggest dreams turn into things that we wish would happen on the one hand, but are too scared to try to get on the other hand.

We kid ourselves with all kinds of self delusions about why we can’t. We come up with all kinds of creative excuses that keep us “stuck.”

But the truth is that genius strategy still exists within you. Which means that if you start to consciously ask “as if” it will come out, it will.

Now, I’m not talking about any big huge behaviors. Not the standard “fake it until you make it” lip service gurus love to spit out.

I’m talking about making teeny tiny micro changes in your day to day behavior.

Simply because they will be congruent with your deeply programmed strategies, they will come out.

Just like being a little kid, and swinging your legs at the right frequency on the swing will get you some pretty big movements, so with your inner strategy.

You’ll slowly be building up a powerful self-sustaining cycle of success, where the energy you get out is much more than you put in.

This is the secret of all prosperity. People, nations, planets.

There comes a seemingly magical “tipping point” when the “system” is kind of humming along on its own, and just takes a wee bit of input juice for a MASSIVE output stream.

And because that strategy IS deep within you, even the smallest and easiest changes in your behavior that are congruent with this deep strategy will seem familiar, natural, and simple.

Because anytime you HAVE achieved any success, of any measure, you’ve proven that you HAVE that very strategy within you.

All it takes is to bring it up to the conscious level, see how it works, plug in what you want out of life, and then drop it back down into your subconscious.

And you’ll be on your way.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator