Category Archives: Dating

Always Let Her See The Real You

Don't Be Shy!

Share Your Truth From The Get Go

Most everything in life belongs on some kind of spectrum.

There’re generally two extremes, and most things take place with a mix of both.

Take something as simple as exercise, for example. Some people are way over on one side. They spend hours a day in the gym, are super careful about what they eat, and act like Superman around kryptonite if somebody offers them a doughnut.

On the other side, there are those that act as if any form of elevated heart rate will end in certain death. There could be a room filled with ready to go porn stars on the second floor, but if the elevator is broken, they’ll give it a pass.

How you behave around women is also on a continuum. There’s the super alpha aggressive side, where she must ALWAYS follow your lead no matter what. Then there’s the other side, when you only do what she allows you to do.

Some guys will talk to a girl, and “test” to see if she’s following them or not. They’ll talk to her for a couple minutes, and then move three feet down the far. If she follows him, she passes. If she doesn’t, he forgets her and moves on to somebody else.

Then there’re guys who do the opposite. They walk up and ask if it’s OK to talk to them. Then they ask if it’s OK to buy them a drink. They even ask if it’s OK to ask for her number.

Sure, both ends of the spectrum will get you a certain type of girl. 

But consider this, the type of girl you get, will ALWAYS expect you to act like that.

Which means if that’s not the real you, you’re going to be in serious trouble.

Now, consider a guy who’s pretty in control of his life, outside of dating. But when he talks to girls, he’s the type to always ask for permission.

There’s going to come a point where he starts to feel comfortable around her, and doesn’t need to ask for her permission any more.

But when she first met him, ALL SHE KNOWS about him is he always asks for permission. That might even be one of the  main reason she liked him in the first place. Maybe she likes guys who “know their place” or something.

Later on, this guy is going to be miserable.

Same goes with the other guy. If he’s trying on some “alpha-persona” he’s going to attract the type of girl who ALWAYS needs to be told what to do.

Unless he’s comfortable with that, there’re going to be problems later on.

How do you solve this dilemma?

Simple!

When you first talk to her, behave like you normally behave. Around your buddies, coworkers etc.

Let her know the real you from the get go.

Sure, she might not like the real you. But so what? Your job is to find the girls that do.

And then simply pick the best one.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Secrets Of Social Success

Look For Treasure In Others

Learn To Appreciate Others

Through the study of genetics, scientists have concluded that throughout history, a few of the guys have gotten most of the girls.

And studying primitive societies that still live according to the hunter-gatherer lifestyle, this holds to be true.

The guys at the top of the social ladder tend to get a lot more girls than the guys down at the bottom. So it stands to reason, if you want to become better with the ladies, it will help to move up the social ladder.

How do you do that?

Well, if you happen to be a member of the Yanomamo tribe in the rainforests of Brazil, this would mean killing more dudes than everybody else. It seems in that particular society, there is a strong correlation with your kill rate and your success rate with the ladies.

Luckily, that doesn’t hold true for most of us!

So, assuming you don’t want to go out there and become a serial killer, how do you become more like those guys at the top of the social heap?

One way is to become more verbally fluent. Contrary to Hollywood, the alpha male is not the strong silent type who grunts and kills bad guys. In real life, the alpha is the guy who can talk a good game.

And I’m not talking about “game” like using seductive language patterns. I’m talking about general social skills. The kind that makes people want to listen to you. The kind that doesn’t sound like some laser targeted set of patterns with a specific outcome.

The kind that you can use with anybody, and leave them feeling better after you’ve finished speaking with them.

Dale Carnegie talked about this in his famous book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” There is a whole set of strategies to follow that will help.

But they can all be boiled down to a simple rule:

Become Interested In Others

Most people don’t do this. Most people walk around desperate for attention, desperate for validation, desperation for approval. They get into a conversation with somebody and all they talk about is themselves.

But if you cultivate a genuine interest in others, and the social confidence to find out about them, AND make them comfortable enough talking to you that they feel comfortable sharing themselves with you, you will be astonished.

This simple technique will do more for you girl getting skills than anything else. All you’ve got to do is just start talking to people, and hold one though in mind while doing so:

“I wonder what’s unique and interesting about this person?”

Do this, and wonderful things will happen.

Should You Change To Get A Girlfriend?

Should You Change or Be Yourself?

Is It Really OK To Be Yourself?

I saw this really horrible movie on Netflix a couple months ago.

This girl met this guy at college. They started dating, and she started to slowly suggest he make changes. At first it was his clothes. Then it was the music he listened to. Then the kind of food he ate. All his friends thought it was just another case of a guy doing ANYTHING to NOT lose his girl.

It happens, but this was a pretty extreme case.

But then it got REALLY extreme. She convinced him to have plastic surgery. Some kind of nose job. Then his friends REALLY thought he was nuts. Like call the guys in the white suits to take him away nuts.

As it turned out, it was even worse. She was doing all this for an art project. And he was the canvas. When he realized that she was doing all of this just to show her art class how “powerful” and “manipulative” she was, he was devastated.

All along, she didn’t really care for him. 

Now, I’m sure you’ve never gone to this extreme, but something happens to a guy when he’s with a girl, or about to be with a girl.

Guys will do ANYTHING if they think it will help them get laid. Anything except what they should do.

Which is simply get into the habit of talking to people. Becoming outgoing and social. Talking to cute girls just because it’s fun to talk to cute girls. If they are interesting enough to take it further, take if further.

If not, no big deal. 

Now, this may seem like an impossible task, especially if you have very little experience. But the more experience you get, the easier this will be.

Start small. Take your time. Start with harmless flirting. Then start saying “hello.” After that, start conversations.

Once you get to a certain point, you’ll come to a realization. A very powerful, and very freeing realization.

You don’t have to change for anybody.

Just the way you are, right now as you read this, there’s likely plenty of girls out there who would be happy to be with you.

(This, of course, assumes you shower regularly and don’t sleep in dumpsters covered in vomit every night.)

It’s not a matter of changing to meet that “one” girl.

It’s a matter of finding that “one” girl.

The more girls you talk to, the easier it will be to find her.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Avoid Getting Dumped

Shoot Only At Pre-Painted Targets

Shoot Only At Painted Targets

Many people paint the target around an arrow after they shoot it.

This, of course, is a metaphor, so let’s dig a little bit deeper. If you shoot at a target, one that’s already painted, you might miss.

But if you shoot at a blank piece of wood, and THEN paint the target around it, you can claim you’re some kind of super ninja archer.

Only if people see you doing this, they’ll know you’re a fraud.

And if you do this a lot, you might get into trouble. You might start to BELIEVE you are a super ninja archer. But in reality you’re shooting arrows willy-nilly all over the place. Which means you’ll eventually shoot one somewhere that might get you into trouble.

How does this translate to the dating game? Most guys have ZERO consciously determined criteria. All they know is they want a hot girl that won’t throw a drink in their face or kick them in the nuts when they ask for a number.

If she dates him, “lets” him sleep with her, he’s on cloud nine. This is when he starts “painting the target around the arrow.”

Since all he knows about her is that she’s hot and she’s “letting him” access the holiest of holies, he starts to “imagine” that she’s the ideal woman. He’ll reverse engineer his own belief system to match hers, so he won’t have to face a cold harsh truth:

They most likely have NOTHING in common.

This is why when the early excitement wears off, they can’t stand each other. Usually this happens to one partner before the other, and somebody gets dumped.

And they spend the next year and potentially thousands of dollars trying to “get their ex back.”

How can you avoid such a common occurrence?

Easy.

Simply choose criteria consciously, and make sure she matches that criteria BEFORE you get physical.

Because when you get physical, your deeply programmed caveman will take over and convince your conscious mind that she’s PERFECT.

Take some time to develop some criteria. Stuff about her personality. Her intelligence. Her habits. Her beliefs.

Sure, you’ll get laid a LOT less.

But when you do, it will be with somebody who has a LOT in common with you.

Which means it will be much more likely to turn into a relationship that’s got a LOT MORE going on than pure physical fun.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Make Number Closing Easy And Flake Proof

Easily Get The Digits

She Must Meet Two Criteria

How do you relax and just “let something happen?”

This is often give advice when talking to girls. Detach from outcome. Live your life and the girls will show up. Don’t ever go out specifically to “pick up” etc. etc.

But how specifically do you do this? It’s great advice. It sounds great. But how do you do it?

Many people have the question, “Where can I go to find quality girls?” As if all the low quality girls hang out in one side of town, and all the high quality girls have this secret clubhouse they go to.

One way is to simply get into the habit of talking to interesting people. Make this part of who you are. Have the intention of finding out something interesting of anybody you meet.

This will have the side effect of increasing your social skills, and increasing your “experience” with other people. It can also give you some pretty interesting stories. Sure, you’ll be a lot of boring people. But you’ll also meet a few gems who’ve got some REALLY incredible stories.

Then if the person you happen to be talking to is a cute girl that you’re interested in, you simply tell her.

“Hey I like talking to you. You seem pretty interesting. Why don’t we exchange numbers so we can hang out sometime?”

You can tell by how she answers whether or not she’s interested in you. If she seems to be conflicted, or now sure, don’t worry. Just tell her it’s no big deal and move on.

Because it IS no big deal.

This is the side effect of really jettisoning any conscious “plan” of meeting girls. If you go out with the intention of meeting somebody, and you see somebody interesting and get shot down, it feels pretty bad.

But if you’re the kind of guy who just talks to anybody as a matter of habit, it will sting a lot less.

And guess what?

As your social skills and confidence increase, you’ll naturally become more attractive. Girls will enjoy talking to you. Girls will be more likely to exchange numbers to hang out.

If you keep this up, just talking to random people wherever you go, you’ll eventually have a list of numbers of girls who are HIGHLY INTERESTED in you.

Let’s be honest. Any clown can go out and collect ten or twenty numbers. Ask enough girls and you’ll get plenty of numbers. But most of them won’t know anything about you, won’t remember you, and will likely flake.

But if you talk to her, and ONLY ask for her number is she seems interesting TO YOU and interested IN YOU, you’ll have almost zero flakes.

Sure, it may take a while to get to this “level,” but don’t you think it’s worth it? To have the option of SEVERAL GIRLS who are interested in you?

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Overcome Two Obstacles To Romantic Success

Patience Is Always A Virtue

Two Birds – One Stone

The two biggest killers to natural, effortless “game” is impatience, and fear.

Now, I put “game” in quotes (there, I did it again!) because I don’t really mean “game” like it’s normally used.

The whole reason for using that word is that it’s a metaphor from sports. Sure, it’s easy to see a guy interacting with a girl as some kind of competition. And it can seem like in sports, there’s going to be a winner, and there’s going to be a loser.

But hopefully you’re starting to realize that this is a pretty restricting metaphor. Even holding the idea that the male-female interaction should be some kind of “game” takes away the real truth of it.

Girls all have their idea of their dream guy. And guys all have their ideas of a dream girl. Sounds sappy and overly romantic, but there it is.

And believe it or not, unless you’re talking to some con artist who just got out of prison, most girls hope YOU are their dream guy when you talk to them, just like you hope SHE is your dream girl when you first talk to her.

But here’s the thing. One, guys are pretty terrified of talking to girls. Even guys who go out and number close like nobody’s business don’t feel nearly as comfortable talking to girls as they do their buddies.

So one hurdle you’ve GOT to overcome is fear. If you want to be comfortable talking to as many girls as you want, with the intention of finding that PERFECT GIRL for you, you’ve simply got to ditch the fear.

The second reason guys study so many techniques and patterns and angles and gambits is impatience. They want their dream girl, and they want her right now.

Now you can thank Mother Nature for that. For something as important as reproduction, we humans don’t want to wait. The whole purpose of girls looking good to guys is so we’re ready go to NOW.

But here’s the thing.

If you can overcome BOTH those powerful instincts, and think with your rational, conscious mind, you will achieve astounding success.

You’ll lose your fear when talking to girls, and slowly but surely you’ll sort HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of girls to find the right one for you. 

How do you do that?

Start slow. Progress even slower. Take your time. Slowly and carefully expand your comfort zone.

If you do this,  you’ll be killing two birds with one stone.

Learn More:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Become Naturally Attractive

Turn On The Permanent Charm

Turn On The Permanent Charm

There’s a difference between the natural players you see on TV, and natural players in real life. The natural players on TV are fictional characters, made up by writers who couldn’t seduce their way out of a paper bag. Most of the stuff on TV is fake, and it only LOOKS like it’s real so you don’t automatically assume your watching some fantasy-land show.

Even the way people talk. Remember, these are actors, who are saying lines written by writers, and they’ve practiced them over and over again. They sound super witty, with rapid fast comebacks and super confidence.

But remember, they’re only pretending. Watch that same actor in an interview, or giving a speech, and they sound a lot less confidence, and the stuff they say is lot less “well thought out.” 

This is what happens when they don’t have people writing their lines.

What about guys in real life that are ultra charismatic?

One thing you can do is simply pay attention to the guys that are always talking to cute girls. You’ll find them to be super happy, rather than super poised. Super relaxed and comfortable in their own skin rather than always coming up with the super snappy comebacks.

You’ll also find that they genuinely enjoy being around people. Not just some people, but all people. They are eager to simply have a chat with somebody just to pass the time. They enjoy making people feel good about themselves. They enjoy making people smile.

How can you become that person?

Easy!

Just start talking to people. The idea that you can glide through life as the silent, lone wolf, but then suddenly turn on the charm when you see Miss Right is kind of far-fetched.

It’s MUCH easier to simply learn to enjoy talking to people.

Truth is that humans are HIGHLY social creatures. It won’t take long to find out how good it feels just chatting people up.

The more you practice, the easier it will get.

Then you’ll start giving that wonderful vibe that attracts people (including cute girls) like bees to honey!

Then you’ll have your pick!

Here’s a step by step manual to help:

High Probability Dating

Consistent Effort Will Yield Huge Results

Low Energy Huge Results

There’s a lot of fantasy type movies where a guy has some kind of magical powers, and all the girls around him are desperately in love with him, and would do anything for him.

To be sure, this is one of the most prevalent fantasies of most men, based on all kinds of different social studies.

And to be sure, if ALL you wanted was short term flings when as many women as possible, that’s really not such a tall order. There’s a certain way to behave, to talk to them, and to quickly build up attraction.

Sure, you might not be able to do that now, but with some consistent practice, it would only take a few months, maybe a year.

Now, if you are absolutely desperate to get laid in the next ten minutes, waiting a year until you have the skills to pretty much seduce any girl you come across is a long, long time. But if that’s what you really wanted, it would certainly be worth it.

But here’s the thing. It can be dangerous to develop those levels of skills, for many reasons. One is you might decide one day you really only want ONE special girl to be with. Some girl that goes beyond just filling your bed for a couple nights.

And once you develop that “player” mindset, that might be hard to do. Suppose you meet some innocent sweet girl who really is “high quality.” (whatever THAT means). She will know that you’re a player, just how you interact with the world.

But here’s the thing. You can still get to that “harem like” world WITHOUT learning any tricks or techniques of seduction.

How?

Just start talking to girls as a part of who you are. Instead of trying to seduce every single one of them, just talk to them normally, and see it as an exercise to find the girls who are NATURALLY interested in you.

Think if it like you would a sales job. On one end of the spectrum, there’s guys who are ultra high energy, ultra persuasive, know all kinds of techniques. These guys try to sell every single person they come across.

Then there are the guys who are ultra laid back. They know their product REALLY well. They know specifically WHO the product is for. They just spend their time finding that magical 2% of the population who will eagerly buy the product WITHOUT any sales pitch.

A lot less stress, and their customers generally come back again and again.

Here’s the funny thing. If you spent all your time learning advanced game to seduce every female on Earth, it may take you six months to a year.

But if you started today, just talking to girls you met, pretty soon you’d have a nice social circle filled with girls who like you EXACTLY how you are, right now.

A social circle from which you could choose your dream girl. 

Ready to get started?

Are You Ignoring Her Personality?

Don't Ignore What's Inside

Look A Little Deeper

When I was a kid, sometimes my parents would get those boxes of expensive chocolates.

I don’t know if you’re familiar, but they were all pretty similar in appearance. Outside they were all pretty round, some darker, and some lighter. But inside, some of them had some pretty gross stuff, at least from a kids perspectives.

Which meant that my parents always ended up with a box of chocolates that had small bites taken out of them.

When guys see a gorgeous girl across the room, they are making a LOT of assumptions about her. Her personality, her beliefs, the way she talks, her habits. Pretty much EVERYTHING about her, except her looks.

Which is why it seems absolutely nuts to nervous walking and talking to her, at least from a rational perspective.

If you stop and think about how many gorgeous girls you’d have to talk to find one that you really click with, it would seem like talking to cute girls would be a chore, rather than something to be scared of.

If you’ve ever been in a really bad relationship and wanted to get out but didn’t know how, you know that is a very, very unpleasant situation to be in. Especially if you and her share the same social circle. A literal nightmare.

Yet guys charge in full speed ahead thinking ALL they need is a girl that’s physically attractive, and everything else will take care of itself.

This is not a very effective strategy to say the least.

Now, I know this makes total sense on paper. But when you’re in the mix and that cutie is making those flirty eyes at you, all this rational understanding is going to fly out the window.

Does this mean you’re back to where you started?

You don’t have to be. In order to have a more curious mindset (rather than a desperate mindset) when approaching is to simply get a lot of experience with a lot of girls.

Specifically with a deep, experiential understanding that many girls will simply disqualified.

How can you generate this feeling?

Simply talk to as many girls as you can. Don’t hit on them. Don’t number close them. Just short, polite, conversations. Long enough to know that girls are people, just like you. Some are smart, some are dumb. Some are nice, some are mean. Some are outgoing, some are shy.

The more “data” you get, the easier it will be.

This will show you how:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Kill Desperation

End This Attraction Killing Curse

Easy Daily Practice

Many people talk about the scarcity mindset, when it comes to meeting girls.

In general terms, when you don’t have a lot of options, you’re going to place a lot of value on the options you do have. If you’ve been out of work for a while, you’ll take any job, no matter how horrible, so long as you start earning some cash that will keep you off the streets.

If you’re starving, and all you’ve got is a box of crackers, those crackers are going to be the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten.

With girls, it works the same way. If you haven’t been involved for a while, any interaction you get from a girl is going to make it seem like she’s your only chance for romantic and sexual happiness.

To make it worse, since humans spent a long time living in small groups, your inner caveman is programmed to really believe she may be your only chance.

So speaking in terms of scarcity mindset or abundance mindset is pretty useless unless it’s actually true.

Meaning if you really haven’t had much luck recently, no matter how much you build up your confidence in your mind, she’s going to seem WAY more important to you that she really is. Which means you’ll overanalyze everything, be terrified of upsetting her, and pretty much do anything to please her. None of which are very attractive.

Clearly, this can set up a huge negative feedback loop. The more desperate you act, the less attractive you’ll be, which means you’ll be even LESS likely to find somebody.

What’s the answer? Repeat “sex and romance are abundant” a million times every night?

Nope.

The simple, easy and straightforward answer is to simply get into the habit of talking to every single cute girl you see.

Or at least making eye contact and smiling at them.

Sure, it may seem hard at first. But if you suck it up and make this a habit, that feeling of desperation will slowly fade.

Pretty soon you will believe, in a deep psychological and instinctive level, that pretty girls really ARE in abundance.

Now, some guys will do this, and then stop when they start dating somebody.

Don’t make this mistake. This isn’t the greatest metaphor, but it’s helpful.

Think of a martial artist. He trains every single day, to prepare for the rare tournament. If he does well in a tournament, does he stop training? Nope. Never.

Think of any relationship you end up in as an ongoing tournament. Not that you’ll be fighting, but that you need to maintain that “abundance mindset” to keep you relaxed, confident and real. Keep away that desperation.

Always be social. Always be outgoing. Make that who you REALLY are, not who you pretend to be.