One guy came up, and said up front he wasn’t trying to hit on her.  Then he started asking her about her clothes, where she got them etc.  During the whole conversation (which didn’t really last that long) he mentioned three or four times that he wasn’t trying to hit on her.

Which meant that he was really worried that SHE would think he was trying to hit on her. Which meant he was likely, at least on a subconscious level, hitting on her.

Many guys share this same fear. They walk up to a girl, and they’ve somehow been taught they need to be ultra secretive with their intentions, because if she thinks he’s hitting on her, he’s toast. All the music will stop, the house lights will all shine on him, and every body will KNOW that was he was breaking some cardinal rule of social etiquette.

Luckily, this is all in your head (if you indeed feel this way). The truth is that most girls LOVE to be “hit on” by guys. At least guys that are normal, and can easily take “no” for an answer.

Another time I was at this bookstore, in the coffee shop section. There was a pretty cute girl sitting at the table in front of me. Some guy walked up, and didn’t even introduce himself, ask her name, or make any attempt to start a conversation. He just asked for her phone number. She was polite, not mean in the least, but said, “no thanks.”

He DIDN’T take it in stride. He stood there for at least another couple minutes asking why. The longer he stood there, the angrier he got.

Some guys feel ENTITLED to get phone numbers from girls, simply because they walk up and ask. They act like the universe (or somebody) owes them some kind of reward simply for asking.

Now, as this guy kept getting angrier and angrier, she kept getting more and more nervous. Finally he left, and she was understandably upset. From her perspective, all she wanted was to spend a relaxing day at the bookstore, but some guy ruined it for her.

Clearly, this is NOT the way to approach. 

What IS the way to approach?

Introduce yourself. Start a conversation. If she smiles while she’s talking to you, it’s probably safe to ask. If she says “no,” walk away.

If she says “yes,” get it, smile and walk away.

If you approach like this, either way she’ll be glad you did.

Do this with enough girls, and you’ll be dating your dream girl in no time.

Girlfriend Generator

And since most guys will never really feel totally comfortable talking to gorgeous girls, the whole area of relationships is rife with self delusion.

One common lie guys tell themselves is they would go and talk to her, if they only knew what to say.

This makes them buy courses and programs that teach them what to say, how to act, what to wear.

But in reality, most of this is overkill. Stuff most people know already. But if guys admitted they know everything they needed already, they’d be faced with a cold harsh truth. That the only thing stopping him from going over there and talking to her is their own fears, anxieties, and insecurities.

The moment you fully acknowledge this, you’ll be WAY ahead of everybody else.

Another thing to understand is after you’ve talked to her, no matter HOW FAR you are in the relationship, when things go south, it’s not because you called at the wrong time, or you said the wrong thing. Once a girl starts to lose interest, guys slip back into the “what do I say” mindset.

As if her interest is going to suddenly reverse itself based on a couple of well-placed sentences.

They may even ask her directly, “Tell me what to do to win you back!” As if there’s a specific thing in her mind that she needs from you that will suddenly make you more attractive.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the case.

Which is good news.

Because when you accept this, you’ll stop wasting time on girls that simply aren’t into you.

Here’s another cold, harsh truth. No matter WHAT you do, say, wear or how you behave, most girls on planet Earth are simply NOT going to be into you.

Now, I know a lot of people who sell complicated courses on seduction will tell you that with the right set of techniques, you can pretty much seduce ANY girl you come across.

While you may be able to create INTEREST and maybe even ATTRACTION in a large number of girls,  you’ll only be able to KEEP THAT GOING, in very, very small number.

The way it works is that early on in the relationship, with the guy doing all the work, and saying all the stuff, and using all the techniques, all she has to do is sit back and enjoy her new found attraction. But the real test comes when she’s got to put in some effort to keep things going.

This will tell you if you two have got potential.

Instead of spending all your time and effort using fancy advanced technology to get a particular girl interested in you, it may be a better idea to get used to the idea of simply talking to a lot of girls, until you find one that’s got that natural interest in you.

The real you.

And is willing to work to maintain it.

Girlfriend Generator

But you may find that using these tools is much more harm than they are worth.

Why?

Anything that gives you advanced benefits in the short term usually comes at a costs. And these costs usually come later on when you are least prepared to deal with them. It feels great to eat a bunch of salty fatty food, but it feels horrible once you balloon up to 400 pounds and your doctor is telling you your in deep trouble.

It feels great to go on a credit fueled spending spree, but not so much when the bill comes, and you don’t have enough cash to even pay the minimum balance.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

So what’s the danger in shortcutting the attraction generation process? Let’s consider the ways.

For one, you’re doing all the work at the beginning. All she’s doing is sitting back while you turn up her attraction. This is great in the short term, but if you don’t continue to use that technology (which will get pretty old pretty quickly) then she’s going to lose interest. 

And unless that is the way you normally behave, it will seem to her that you’ve suddenly changed.

This can lead to a string of short term relationships. If that’s what you’re after, and many guys are, then that’s not a problem.

But many guys really DO want to find that one special lady to hang out with for the long term.

And guess what?

Short term game is simply not suited for long term relationship building. Any kind of surface structure behavior that isn’t a congruent representation of who you really are is going to be very hard to keep up.

What’s a different alternative?

One, be yourself. Your real self. Not your pretend nice guy self. And always be improving your real self. For the rest of your life. This alone will give you an edge over pretty much everybody else out there.

The second thing is to always leave before you wear out your welcome.

Most guys can’t do this. They find themselves in a conversation, and they want to make it last as long as possible.

But if you leave on a high note, she’ll remember you that way. She’ll think about you that way. Any feelings of attraction will be because she was thinking about the real you. Not because of some game technique.

If you do this consistently in the early part of the relationships, you’ll build some very strong emotional glue that will keep you together for a long time.

Girlfriend Generator