Category Archives: Uncategorized

How To Create Irresistible Rapport

Their Idea Is Always Best

The easiest way to get somebody to do something is to get them thinking it was their idea.

This is an old idea, made famous by Dale Carnegies “How To Win Friends And Influence People.”

It’s also plays a large part in covert and conversational hypnosis, both in sales, therapy and relationships.

The basic structure is to use a variety of vague language, so the listener or reader will need to fill in the blanks on their own, using their own specific experiences and beliefs.

Which means when they finally come to a conclusion, they will have done so based on thoughts and pictures in their own brain, rather than thoughts put there by you.

Naturally, this takes a lot of practice, as there are plenty of different language patterns, and virtually endless combinations. Similar to learning a martial art, there’s tons of single moves to learn, and tons of ways to use them in various combinations.

But there is one thing that will make it much smoother.

It leverages the same process, but on a much deeper level.

Whenever you intend to persuade somebody, you’ve got to have rapport. This is the most crucial, and often overlooked aspect. Since it seems so simple, most people feel they don’t need to really focus on it.

Which means they’re done before they start.

But with enough rapport, you don’t really need much else.

Do Best Friends For Life Need Language Patterns?

Who Do YOU Trust The Most?

Consider somebody, now, as you read this. Somebody you totally trust. Somebody you’ve known for a long, long time. Somebody you’d turn to if you needed to bury some bodies.

Now, consider them suggesting something to you. Would they need to do a lot of convincing? Probably not. Would they need to use all kinds of language patterns and influence techniques? Probably not.

Because you have such a HUGE amount of rapport with this person, they don’t really need to explain themselves.

Now, imagine if you could create this amount of rapport in people that you’d just met. Anything you wanted to talk to them about would be much easier, and much more natural, and much less dependent on “technology.”

How do you create such rapport?

By building a powerfully attractive frame. The strong dominant and charismatic frame that will get people WANTING to be in rapport with you. The kind of frame that when people look at you, they’ll think, “Wow, I wish I was hanging out with THAT person!”

How can you get this? Easy. From the inside out.

Learn How:

Frame Control

How To Leverage Ancient Human Instincts

Embrace Your Nature

One of the biggest problems we humans have is that we still think like cavemen.

According to biologists, humans and chimps split off from a common ancestor 2 MILLION years ago. Which means whatever behaviors chimps have that we also have are AT LEAST 2 million years old.

Likely one of the most real and pesky hunter-gatherer hangover is our relentless desire to eat.

Our caveman brains don’t know there’s a 7-11 every two feet. It still thinks food is few and far between. So when an opportunity presents itself, we eat like there’s no tomorrow.

This strategy worked GREAT for cave-people. Because they really didn’t know where their next meal was coming from.

Now? Not so much.

Another holdover from our ancient history is our tendency to self categorize ourselves into groups based on some kind of hierarchy.

They’ve done this experiment again and again. They take a bunch of random people, and stick them in some isolated location. It doesn’t take long for a leader to emerge.

Unconscious Alignment

Now, how do they determine a leader? It’s not like on TV where they have discussions and vote.

Everybody just kind of assumes their roles, which is either “follower” or “leader.”

They just kind of look out, take a quick inventory of everybody around them, and kind of “feel out” who’s strong, and who’s not.

It’s very similar to that goofy card game where you pick a card, hold it to your forehead without looking at it.

Everybody tries to guess their own worth, compared to everybody else, based on the cards that others have.

If you look out into the group of strangers, and feel that YOU are the strongest, you’ll naturally start to act like a leader, and they’ll naturally start to follow.

This won’t require any shouting or chest thumping. It’s very natural, and everybody generally agrees pretty quickly AND pretty subconsciously, who’s who.

Now, here’s the important part. The more situations where YOU become the natural leader, the more opportunities you’ll have.

People will agree with you. People will offer to help you. People will naturally support you when you get into trouble.

People will even fight your battles for you to prove their loyalty.

There’s nothing fishy or manipulative going on here. This is purely subconscious, purely natural, and completely voluntary.

The truth is that most people would rather be followers. People are generally too afraid to leave the pack, even if to lead it.

If you’d like lead the pack, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Become The Definition Of Charisma

The Supremes Know What’s Up

“I don’t know what it is, but I know it when I see it.”

That’s what one member of the supreme court said many years ago when trying to define “pornography.”

Many things are like that. We’re hard pressed to define them, but we certainly know it when we see it.

Some of these are subjective, some of these are objective.

Taste in food is more on the subjective side. You can’t really describe what “delicious” means to you, but you certainly know it when you taste it. And everybody has their own unique classifications of delicious.

Beauty leans more on the objective side. Most people would agree that certain paintings, landscapes, or yes, even people, are beautiful, while others are not.

Charisma and social magnetism are like that as well. It’s really hard to define what it is, without describing the feeling that comes from seeing somebody that is incredibly charismatic and magnetic.

Tale From The Temple

I was once at this open house at a local Buddhist temple, and there were plenty of local folks there. They had it set up so you could just wander around, look at stuff, and ask questions.

We were all in this big room, kind of doing our own thing, and this “guy” came walking in. All of us stopped what we were doing, and turned to look at this “guy.”

He had a certain “energy” about him. He was tall, good looking, and had pretty good posture. His movements were slow and purposeful. There didn’t seem to be any fear or anxiety or worry. Like he knew where he was going and was very aware of his surroundings, including all the people that were covertly watching his every step.

Like he felt totally comfortable in his own skin, totally at home wherever he was. As if it was the most important place on Earth or event in time. Total focus, presence and congruence.

As he got closer, I noticed he was wearing a name tag. Turned out he was the mayor. A mayor of a town famous for it’s ultra rich people.

Now, did he have charisma because he was mayor, or was he mayor because of his charisma?

I suspect it was both. Certainly, being in a position of power and surrounded by people who recognize that power will certainly give you a confidence boost.

But you can’t get there unless you’ve got the confidence to begin with.

Many people assume that having such massive charisma and magnetism is like being born tall or super athletic. You’ve either got it or you don’t.

They’re wrong.

You CAN build in that confidence, that charisma. So YOU can be the one walking in the room and turning heads.

Learn How:

Frame Control

The Persuasive Power of Silence

Keeping Quiet Is A Great Strategy For Powerful Influence

Bite Your Tongue!

There’s an old rule of negotiation.

Whoever speaks first, usually loses out.

Salespeople are taught this, as well as savvy customers.

If somebody makes you an offer, the best response is no response. Maybe a completely neutral “hmm…” while you pretend to wonder about it.

The “trick” is to make it look like you want the deal less than the other person. Once they start to get nervous, and their imagination runs away, it’s all over. You may start out completely even, but the simple strategy of staying silent is incredibly powerful.

This is true not only in sales, but in all “transactions.” When you get right down to it, every human interaction is based on some kind of transaction. Even if you invite your buddies over to watch TV or play video games, that’s going to take some effort on their part. Which means it’s your job to convince them the fun they’ll have is going to be worth the effort.

Everybody Is Working Some Kind of Angle!

Persuasion Is Everywhere

Now, most of us don’t go around negotiating deals with our friends like we’re buying used cars, but the same structure is there.

Whenever you find yourself saying something like, “C’mon! It will be fun!” you’re trying to persuade somebody.

You can try this with your friends, just to play around. Next time they “make an offer,” even if it’s simple like grabbing a beer or whatever, just repeat of the offer without any emotion.

“Hey, wanna go grab a beer down at the pub?”

“Grab a beer. Hmm…”

And see what they say. Chances are whatever they say next will be intended to INCREASE the subjective value of their proposition. Obviously, you don’t want to carry this too far, otherwise you’ll lose all your friends. And when doing this with friends, always be playful. But it’s a useful exercise just to see that this structure really IS everywhere.

Whenever two people are negotiation, whoever wants the deal the LEAST will have the most power.

Dating, job interviewing, sales, everything.

Now, if you’ve been unemployed for a year, and you haven’t been with anybody romantically for a long, long time, it can be tough to “hold out” as if you’ve got a Plan B, Plan C and Plan D.

The secret is to develop a rock solid belief that you’ll be OK, no matter what happens.

Even when there’s no evidence.

This is something very few people are able to do.

But when you do develop this mindset, a “switch” will happen. Instead of you chasing others down, people will be chasing you down. You’ll be the person that everybody is trying to convince.

You’ll be the one with all the power.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Eleven Easy Ways To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl

You Made A Move – Now What?

So you made a move, and now you’re talking to her. Great job! You’ve done what most guys are terrified to do. But now something else happens. Those uncomfortable silences.

She answers one of your questions, or you say something hoping she’ll respond, and now she’s just staring at you, waiting for you to say something.

Brain Freeze!

This sucks. Really sucks. Really majorly sucks. But don’t worry, it’s easy to fix. There’s some great tricks you can learn that will keep a conversation going with anybody, especially that gorgeous girl you’re talking to.

Open Ended Questions

It’s always better to ask questions that will take long sentences to answer, rather than short words. Nobody likes to feel like they are being interrogated. Avoid asking questions that can be answered with one or two words.

Instead, asks questions that take some thought, and longer responses. However, be careful that you don’t put her on the spot, or ask any questions that might make her feel defensive. For example, if you ask her what she does for a living, or what she’s studying in school, follow up with some questions like this:

How Did You Get Into That?
What Would You Like To Be Doing In A Couple Years?
Have You Always Been Interested In That?

Look For Similarities

Always keep your ears peeled for anything that you’ve got in common. But avoid being overly vague. If she says she likes movies, don’t say you like movies too and think she’s going to be impressed.

On the other hand, if she’s having trouble choosing a major, and you are too, then say you are, and explain why. Or if she doesn’t really like her job and is looking for another one, chances are you are too.

Pay Attention To “Trance Words”

Trance words are any words or phrases she uses that she puts special emphasis on. What you’re looking for at this point are things she’s really interested in. Things that make her animated and excited. The ideal situation is to find a few things she really likes talking about that you genuinely like as well.

Tell Engaging Stories

The truth about having conversations with strangers is that unless you really “click” right off the bat, most people are going to have a hard time. Everybody’s nervous, and hoping the other person is going to do all the talking.

That’s why it’s a good idea to do most of the heavy lifting, at least in the beginning.

Then later on, after you’ve had a few conversations, you can start to lay back a bit and let her do more of the talking. But at first, realize that you should at least be able to fill in the blanks when she comes up blank.

A fantastic way to do that is to tell stores. The good news is these can be about anything. Really, anything. Stupid boring stuff that happened on your way to work. Some old lady you saw picking her nose in the park, or your boss walking down the hall with a string of toilet paper on his shoe.

The real secret of telling interesting stories is HOW you tell them, not WHAT you talk about.

Be Prepared

To start off with, you should have a few simple stories up your sleeve. If they cover a wide range of emotions, that’s even better. You don’t need to practice, since these actually happened to you, just have a few stories you can pull out when you need to.

Be Energetic

When telling stories, be excited. Use a wide range of facial expressions. Don’t afraid to use gestures. Wanna know why people love little kids? Because they are so expressive. Not reserved. Not edgy or “cool” or filled with fake angst.

If you are the same way when telling stories, she’ll be into you.

Pay Attention To Story Structure

In any story, there should be a buildup, a moment of ultimate tension, the climax, and the release. This is true of epic Hollywood productions as much as a two minute story about how you lost your left shoe.

Understanding where these points are in your own stories will help.

A lot.

One thing that will definitely increase her interest in you is how you shift from story to story. If you start one story, finish it, and then go on to the next one, she’ll get pretty bored, pretty quickly.

On the other hand, if you switch from story A to story B, just as story A is about to get good, she’ll be really into you.

Why?

The human brain HATES unfinished business. So when you leave a bunch of “open loops” she won’t help getting more and more interested in you.

This does take some practice, but it’s easy to practice with some buddies or even by yourself when you’re out driving around.

(Or you could go down to your local mall and stand there alone in the food court practicing your story telling, and see how long it takes you to get arrested!)

You’ll also notice that this technique is used by some the best comedians in the world. When you think about it, the stuff they talk about is pretty common, everyday stuff. It’s how they structure that common, everyday stuff that makes them so entertaining.

How You Break Up The Stories Are Crucial

How to Break Up The Stories

The best way to break up loops is to always have a couple that are “open” at any given time. Meaning start story A, then break off into story B. Then halfway through B, start off with C, then finish up A, and then start on D, and halfway through D, start on E, and then finish up B, etc.

If you do this while smiling and having fun, she’ll literally NEVER forget you, even if you’re talking about doing your laundry. She’ll most definitely be interested in you!

Her Ideal Future

Whenever you’re going back and forth, it’s a great idea to get her talking about the things she likes, as mentioned before. It’s an even better idea to get her talking in terms of her ideal future. Her biggest dreams and goals.

Like if she’s studying biology in school, ask her if her plans played out perfectly, and she got the perfect job, what would her life look like in five years.

This way, she’ll be talking about her big dreams, while looking at you. That’s pretty good!

No Spots

While the idea of “cocky and funny” can be used effectively, it’s easy to go too far. Just pay close attention to her mood, and avoid saying anything that will make her want to go and talk to somebody else.

Also, avoid asking any questions where any potential answer might make her feel uncomfortable. Remember, this is a first conversation, and she’s using this conversation to form a first impression of you. And since first impressions are hard to change, you want to start off on the right foot.

Don’t Be Afraid To Disagree

However, you don’t want to be TOO nice. This will also make her want to talk to somebody else. While you’re looking for things you have in common, you should also be looking for opportunities to disagree.

If all you say is “Hey, me too!” she’s going to think you’re pretty fake. But if you take the opportunity to disagree, and tell her why, she’ll know you’re for real.

Bottom Line

Walk up, break the ice, and start talking. Ask some open ended questions. Look for positive answers that make her feel good, and ask for more information. Tell stories with lots of facial expressions and gestures. Break them up a bit to keep her on her toes. Don’t be afraid to mix it up a bit and disagree.

And remember the most important rule of all:

There’s PLENTY of girls out there. Relax, have fun, and see each and every girl as a simple opportunity to enjoy life and have some fun. Not a life or death situation.

If YOU enjoy the conversation, chances are so will she.

To learn more conversational skills, get some free powerful hypnosis to blast away approach anxiety, head on over to Mind Persuasion today.

The Mystery and Myth of Intention

Do You Set It And Forget It?

Everybody knows about “intention,” right?

It’s one of those things you need to do to get whatever you want.

Set an intention, as they say, and all your dreams will come true.

Some even treat this mysterious thing as some kind of magic gumball machine. You “think” of an “intention,” set it, and forget it.

Like all you need to do is put your intention “out there” and some kind of universal wish-fulfillment center will deliver it right into your hands.

As you can guess, when many people “set an intention” all they’re really doing is putting voice to a wish.

Here’s the thing. Setting an intention is hard wired into every human. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to take any action, even going to the toilet in the middle of the night, if you weren’t able to “set an intention.”

Before your body gets up and starts moving, it needs to know where it’s going, and what it wants. Which means the whole time your stumbling to the bathroom in the dark in the middle of the night, your brain is measuring your current “state” and comparing that to your “intention.”

How You Hold It Is Crucial

So saying that you need to “set an intention” to achieve anything is pretty self-evident. It’s like saying in order to breathe, you need to take air in and out of your lungs. No kidding.

What’s NOT so clear is specifically HOW to set an intention. And even more importantly, how to HOLD an intention.

You may have an intention that’s strong enough to get started, but you suddenly lose all willpower when you run into trouble.

Everybody and their sister has an intention to lose weight. Some even get started. But very few follow through.

Plenty of guys have intentions of going over there and talking to that pretty girl. But what happens when she has the intention of getting rid of you as quickly as possible?

Just like Newton’s Second Law of Mechanics, some intentions are met with an equal and opposite intention.

You may have an intention of knocking on some strangers door to sell them a vacuum cleaner, but they’ve got an even stronger intention of watching their favorite TV show. And they’ve got home field advantage.

Obviously, having an intention is not enough. If you want to get anywhere in life, you’ve got to set a clear intention. You’ve got to set a strong intention. And you’ve got to HOLD your intention no matter what.

Learn How:

Frame Control

The Secret Sauce Of Life

Can You Shape Reality?

There are many ways to create your reality in a literal way.

You could operate on the physical world, changing raw materials into something more complicated. Take some seeds, grow some plants, and further transform them into a cherry pie, for example.

Combine your skills, knowledge and patience with the powers of the Earth, and you’ve effectively turned a handful of seeds into something much, much better.

Or you could interact with others in a certain way. If you’re lonely, for example, you can learn to be more outgoing, learn to talk to others about their interests instead of yours, and pretty soon you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who enjoy being with you.

You can even transform your own body. If you look at yourself in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can take steps to change it. More muscles, less fat, whatever.

The truth is that “reality” is much more flexible than most people realize. It’s easy to feel like we’re victims of reality when we’re really just victims of our own inaction or ineffective action. Most people avoid thinking like this.

One of the crucial things to understand about “reality” is that the meaning is VERY flexible.

Hunters vs. Farmers

Imagine two tribes of ancient humans, who both discovered seeds. The MEANING they gave to these seeds was crucial to how they used them.

One tribe planted them, the other tribe ate them.

Every single time we interact with the world, what we’re really doing is interacting with our own MEANING and INTERPRETATION of the world.

The things people say to us. The way people respond to us. Even the results we get.

The idea that anything can pretty much MEAN anything is incredibly liberating. It frees us from feeling as if we are victims of reality, and instead makes us feel like engineers of reality.

One crucial, but often overlooked skill, is not only the meaning you choose for your particular reality, but how strongly you HOLD that meaning.

Those that can not only choose a supportive meaning, but HOLD to it regardless of what happens are the people who make things happen.

Because so few people are even aware of this skill, once you develop it, you will have an incredible advantage.

How you use that advantage, of course, is up to you.

To learn how, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Maximize Your Personal Profits

Are You Getting Enough?

Sometimes words can lose their meaning.

Take the word “profits” for example.

Originally an accounting term that meant money in compared to money out.

A business spends a hundred bucks, and makes a hundred and ten bucks.

Or they spend a hundred bucks, but only got back ninety bucks.

Positive profits is a signal that whatever they are doing is good, and they should keep doing it. Negative profits is an indication that they’d better do something different.

So why did “profits” become synonymous with “evil?”

It’s not the profits themselves, it’s how they are obtained. If everybody has choice, the ONLY way you can make any profits is to make something that other people want. That they are willing to pay for, based purely on their free will.

Positive profits are a signal that you are providing something that people, in general, subjectively value.

Big Business Wrecks Everything

Only when the game is tilted in the favor of big business,and people are put into a position where they have no choice, and HAVE TO buy something, do profits take on a negative component.

But the basic description (devoid of any evil-ness) is very instructive.

Because, in a sense, businesses and people behave the same way.

There’s never any sure fire way of doing business, or behaving. We never REALLY know what’s going to happen. All we can do is try, and see what response we get.

Just as the best businesses are ALWAYS testing new products, measuring responses from their customers, and trying to consistently tweak themselves to MAXIMIZE their profits (and therefore maximize the amount of value they are providing to customers), individual people do the same thing.

We are never sure what’s going to happen. All we can do is take action, and see what the results are.

If the results are GOOD, we do more. If they aren’t so good, we do something different.

What are GOOD results? That is completely up to you. Generally speaking, anything that gets you closer to achieving your dreams.

No matter what your dreams are, no matter how big they are, if you consistently take action, measure the results, and then use THAT to take BETTER action next time, you will not fail.

This is the strategy that will get you anything you want in life.

Learn More:

Mind Persuasion

Unleash Your Inner Hero

Your Life Is A Hero’s Journey

I love watching movies.

Anybody that knows me well knows I spent a good deal of time in movie theaters.

Being somebody who loves hypnosis, movies are the perfect trance generator.

The conscious critic is knocked out, and you’re taken for a nice ride.

Stories have been part of human life since we learned to talk. Maybe even before, as some of those ancient cave paintings may have been around before humans developed any kind of recognizable grammar.

It seems out minds are hard wired to relax into a good story. Evolutionary psychologists tell us this folded in neatly with our huge learning ability.

Listening to some old, experience member of the tribe tell a fascinating story was a much better vehicle to deliver essential truths about life than to simply pass dry information.

By following along to stories, rather than some dry lecture, early humans could “own” the knowledge. By paying close attention to the story, they would “see themselves” in the roles of the main characters, and appreciate the deeper meanings.

Get In The Game Of Life And Conquer Your Fears!

All Blockbusters Tell Your Tale

Many stories and movies today have the same structure. Most blockbusters, despite being filled with zillion dollar special effects, generally tell what’s known as the “Hero’s Journey.”

Meaning they’re about some normal guy or girl put into an “un-normal” situation, generally without much choice. Then this normal guy or girl has to dig deep and respond to the situation. Usually there’s some bad guy, and usually the hero has to develop skills, relationships, and sometimes use a “magical” tool.

Why are these stories so compelling?

Because all of us experience the same thing. We all feel we are living lives without really living life.

We are kind of going through the motions, without feeling we are living up to our potential.

We KNOW we are missing something. That common theme, the “Hero’s Journey” is a welcome reminder that we are MUCH MORE than we think we are.

YOU, are much more than you think you are.

You were meant for greatness. Not to get by. Not to make enough to pay the bills and save a little. Not to spend your free time wasting away in front of the TV.

You were put here to set your sights on something HUGE. You were put here to ACHIEVE something huge.

In your life, YOU are the hero.

Are you ready to begin your journey?

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

The Sweet Spot Of Mind Magic

Align Conscious and Unconscious

Some people love to “wing it.”

Others, not so much. Some of us need to be consciously aware of every step, measure twice, cut once, and be sure have a good idea of what we’re going to get.

Naturally, there’s a place for both.

When I was a kid, I used to “try” to cook using the “wing it” method. I’d throw a bunch of stuff in a bowl, mix it up, and then fry it. It usually came out pretty terrible.

Imagine if you were having a dinner party and you’d never cooked anything in your life, and you’d figured you’d just grab stuff out of the fridge and throw it together based on your mood!

On the other hand, some things simply lend themselves to just letting go and “winging it.”

If you were on a first date, for example, imagine if you pulled out a check list of questions to ask, and wrote down the answers!

Generally speaking, any time there’s spontaneous human to human contact or interaction, there’s going to be a LARGE amount of winging it.

Knowing When To Need Blueprints Is Essential

Step by Step Strategies

And when there’s you operating on the physical world to build something, taking a bunch of stuff and putting it together to make something bigger, more complicated, and more valuable (like making dinner from scratch, for example) you need some kind of specific step by step strategy.

Of course, there’s a HUGE amount of overlap.

The true MAGIC in life comes when you’re “winging” something that USED TO BE step by step difficult.

Musicians, athletes, performers, all do this. Once upon a time, they had to learn every single note on the piano. It was frustrating, boring, and difficult. But they got to a level where they could translate vague emotional feelings DIRECTLY into beautiful music, ON THE SPOT, and generate those same vague emotional feelings in others.

The secret of life is to learn to wing it AND use step by step procedure to keep pushing forward. Keep increasing your skills. Keep creating better and more valuable things for you and others to enjoy.

When you’re in the ZONE of life, when you are operating at full capacity, buoyed by the ever present feedback loop.

THAT is when magic happens.

Make YOURS happen:

Mind Persuasion