Regardless of your reason for talking to somebody, rapport is essential.
With a lot of rapport there’s not much else you need to do.
For example, let’s say you’re thinking about buying a computer.
You’ve got a couple in mind, and you want to go see one up close, so you wander down to your local computer shop.
And you are standing there looking at the three computers you’re thinking off, all sitting next to each other.
And up comes a good buddy who you haven’t seen in a while. And he works at the shop.
You forget that you’re shopping for computers, and talk to your buddy and catch up on old times. Maybe you exchange pictures of your kids or something. You find out he lives nearby and turns out you know his wife from back in the day as well. You’re excited, he’s excited.
Then he asks what you’re interested in, computer wise. (He does work there after all.)
You tell him you’re thinking of model A, B or C.
Without even thinking, he says C is the best and he gives you a couple reasons why.
Now, most people would buy C.
This is because you would have MASSIVE rapport with your buddy.
He doesn’t need to use any goofy language patterns, or NLP tricks.
With ENOUGH rapport, all you really need to say is, “C is best,” and then give them a couple reasons.
Unfortunately rapport is one of those things where people hear about it and say, “Oh rapport, yeah, I already know about that stuff. Tell me the super-ninja secret stuff!”
But with enough rapport, you don’t really need the super ninja complicated stuff.
Sure it will help, it will make them feel much better about whatever they are doing, but it’s really just icing on the cake.
There are a lot of ways to develop deep rapport very quickly with strangers.
Match body language, match movements, match rate of speech. Monitor and adjust accordingly. Move and make sure they follow you.
But under all of that external behavior, you HAVE to be relaxed and laid back on the inside.
Creating rapport on the outside, when you are anxious and nervous on the inside is pretty difficult.
In fact, if you are anxious and nervous on the inside, you’ll FORGET to even create rapport. You’ll be too busy trying to memorize all those ninja language patterns.
But if you are relaxed and confident ENOUGH, they will AUTOMATICALLY not only get into rapport with you, but they’ll naturally follow you as well.
Making everything else very easy.
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