Tag Archives: false fears

Obliterate False Fears

How To Deprogram Yourself

I read an interesting history book a while back.

It’s premise was that all of human history could be described as a timid, lazy people.

All of the major historical events were driven primarily by two goals.

One to make things less scary, and two to make them easier.

Scared and lazy people making things easier and less scary.

Now, this is just one way of looking at things. One thing about NLP is you learn that “meaning” is pretty flexible.

Sure, if you’re measuring how many grams something is in a laboratory, there’s not much room for coming up with different meanings.

But any time you have anything related to the human experience, or even a biological experience (trees growing, etc.) meaning really IS flexible.

Which is good news when we’re talking about things that scare us.

I’m sure you’ve heard the popular “self-help” description of FEAR:

False Enemies Appearing Real.

Sounds cool, sounds like you know what’s up, but just coming up with smart sounding sayings like that doesn’t really help much when you’ve got to stand up in front of people and give an impromptu speech.

You can tell yourself that your fears are false until you’re blue in the face, but when you stand up, everybody gets quiet and looks at you, it’s kind of hard to logic your way out of being petrified.

So, how exactly do make that “truism” real?

How do we actually FEEL that our fears are false, rather than pretending we’re all that?

Practice, that’s how.

One of the things about being human is we are all born WAY before we are fully developed.

Meaning the first years of our lives, our brains are a sponge.

Unfortunately, we tend to soak up both TRUE things about the world around us, and FALSE things.

Since our brains were designed for a much different time, being “safe” rather than “sorry” makes our young brains a lot less discriminating.

So we learn that a lot of things are scary, even when they’re not.

Problem is that here we are as adults, with those learned experienced programmed into us like they are instincts.

So they those “false” fears FEEL just as real as the REAL fears.

Luckily, we can slowly dismantle the false ones, and keep the real ones.

By focused visualization, mental exercises, journaling and other “tricks.”

It’s not magic, and it does take time.

But imagine what you’ll be able to do when you’re ONLY afraid of things you SHOULD be afraid of? Like escaped tigers and jumping out of airplanes.

Learn How:


Where Do You Come From?

Destroy Fear of Mistakes

I was watching this interview the other day.

One of the writers who was talking about the next Star Wars movie.

The question was about one of the characters, and what the writer’s response was to the various “origin theories” floating around online.

He gave some kind of vague answer, saying it would be “satisfying” to everybody.

But the idea of an “origin story” is VERY common in almost all popular stories and myths.

Often times the formula is first we meet the hero, then we become interested in how they “became” the hero.

Why is this so compelling?

Maybe because all of us, on a deep level, want to know “where” we come from.

Maybe as ancient tribes were wandering across the face of the Earth, knowing where they came from would help them to learn from their mistakes. Or learn from their predecessors, mythological or not.

One metaphor is when driving your car, the ratio between the windshield and your rear view mirror is a good ratio.

Meaning you want to be focused MOSTLY on where you’re going, but you need to glance behind you from time to time.

When talking about Meta Programs, this means you want to be motivated a little bit by pain or fear, but mostly by the pleasure of where you are headed.

This is one of the problems many people have with goal setting. If they ONLY are motivated by moving away from pain, the further away from pain they get, the less motivation they have.

Compare the people in your local gym in the first week of January to the first week of March and you’ll see the difference.

How can you avoid this common trap?

Spend a few minutes each and every day meditation on where you are going.

Visualize what it will be when you get there.

Feel all the feelings, see all the sights, hear all the sounds.

This is the power of keeping a daily journal.

If you have a goal, write down ANYTHING you did that day to get you closer.

Then imagine ANYTHING you can do the next day. And actually take the time to imagine doing it.

The future will be EASY to create when you practice building.

Of course, there will be mistakes along the way. You can use journaling to USE THOSE to propel you even further into the future.

Once you realize how beneficial they are, the “fear” of “mistakes” will vanish.

It’s not magic. It takes time.

But with daily practice, you can slowly change your beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes, that will make it easy to achieve anything.

Of course, at the heart of most life plans is your ability to communicate with others.

Because part of EVERY hero’s journey is the support crew.

Get Started Building Yours:

Interpersonal Resonance

False Fears

Going Swimming With Snakes?

Imagine going on a diet.

You read a couple of books and came up with a plan.

You went shopping and carefully bought the right foods.

So you knew that when you ate the right things, in the right amounts, it would be physically impossible to not lose weight.

Only when you ate your food, you didn’t do it at home.

You ate it at the food court in the mall. Or at your favorite restaurant.

Surrounded by friends who were chowing down like no tomorrow.

Could you do it?

I know I couldn’t!

This is the problem with a lot of our instincts. When they are fired up, it’s pretty impossible to ignore them.

That’s why humans have survived all these years.

If our instincts were super easy to ignore (meaning that losing weight was super easy and didn’t require a lot of willpower) then we would have died out a long time ago.

There’s even a few disease that somehow “turn off” the eating instinct.

They don’t feel compelled to eat, so they don’t. And they starve to death. Or they would without medical intervention.

Quickly pulling back from pain is another instinct. Yet there are a few unlucky people who don’t feel pain. Which means they can get an infection, and die before they know something’s wrong.

One of the drawbacks to our instincts is that societies evolve MUCH FASTER than our instincts do.

It’s like we’ve got this caveman brain that still thinks we need to chase after food, and eat as much as we can whenever we see some.

This is one of the primary causes of “self sabotage,” the mis-match between our conscious desires, chosen by living rationally in a modern society, and our primitive instincts.

Social fear is a prime example of this.

You want to walk over there and start a conversation, but your caveman brain thinks you’re about to go wrestle a dinosaur or something.

You’d like to give a speech, but you feel like you’re about to jump into a pit of piranhas.

You want to pitch an idea to your boss, one you’re sure will make you a lot of money, but you feel like you’re sticking your head in a tiger’s mouth.

Now, some say you should “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Some say the only way is to FORCE yourself through those situations.

Sure, that will work. But it takes a LOT of willpower, and some very uncomfortable feelings.

Or you could use some mental techniques.

Practice doing it while FORCING your brain to think good thoughts.

Re-Training that ancient part of you that thinks there’s danger behind every shadow.

When you do that, you’ll notice how much easier life becomes.

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