Tag Archives: Mindset

Do You Feel Cheated By Life?

I had this friend once that would come up with the craziest ideas.

These were business ideas, that he actually thought would make us money.

But they were based on some really nonsensical assumptions.

Kind of like in the movies, when criminals are planning a heist, and their biggest “escape plan” is, “Who’s going to know?”

Of course, once they plan a crime from that standpoint, they overlook tons of variables.

One of the common mistakes we make as people is to ASSUME that simply because we WANT something, we SHOULD get it.

Even if we feel like this just a little bit, it feels like we’ve been cheated if we DON’T get it.

This happens all the time with guys and dating.

They flirt with a girl from across the room. Then walk over, and start talking to her, and she goes cold.

They feel cheated. As if they DESERVED to get her number.

They don’t consider that she perceived him DIFFERENTLY before and after she talked to him.

Her opinion of him CHANGED once they started talking. She updated her idea of him with new information.

But from the guy’s standpoint, he feels like she purposely tricked him.

This is also very common in sales. Somebody is thinking about buying a product. They salesperson starts to ASSUME he or she is going to make a commission.

But then the customer changes their mind. Just like all humans ALWAYS do ALL THE TIME.

But the salesperson feels “cheated.”

Now, it is absolutely necessary to make assumptions. We humans NEVER will have enough information to accurately predict the future.

So we will always have to guess. If we’ve got any kind of experience, we can use that experience to predict, or make assumptions about what will happen.

Of course, if we OVERLY assume good things, and we don’t get it, we can feel cheated.

But if we OVERLY assume bad things, we get scared and we won’t take action.

The “trick” or SKILL is to develop a strong, ever-present sense of “let’s see what happens.”

We do this naturally when we play sports. ESPECIALLY if we suck.

If you’re shooting free throws, for example, you don’t feel like you’re going to die, or never be a success, or end up homeless if you miss a free throw.

You shoot, see what happens (get feedback) and try again.

If you keep shooting (practicing) you’ll eventually get better.

Pretty soon, you’ll KNOW that you shoot at a certain percentage.

How can you treat ALL ACTION like this?

Practice.

Practice keeping the “let’s see what happens” mindset whenever doing ANYTHING.

ESPECIALLY things that are moving you closer to your biggest goals in life.

There are MANY ways to do this.

Visualization exercises, journaling exercies, and reframes.

You can learn them here:

Fearless

How to Always Beat Expectations

I remember when I saw the movie, “Stargate,” for the first time.

I read a review when it came out, before I saw it.

The review said it sucked, so when I went to see it, I expected a crappy movie.

But it turned out to be a cult favorite with tons of spin offs.

Now, it certainly wasn’t a GREAT movie. But it was better than I expected.

When a company reports it’s quarterly or yearly earnings, it’s the same situation.

The stock price goes up or down not on the ABSOLUTE earnings (or more technically, earnings per share or EPS) but whether or not the EPS is BETTER or WORSE than expectations.

A company that reports EPS of $.10 when everybody only expected $.05 will generally shoot through the roof.

Where a company that reports $1.25 when everybody was expecting $1.50, the stock will tank.

Even in the stereotypical story of a young, in experienced person with HUGE dreams, an older, more experienced person will tell them it’s simply not possible.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

“Why are you trying to crush my dreams?”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to get hurt. To try and fail. I’m protecting you.”

Clearly, our expectations about the reality around us are absolutely crucial.

If you walk down the street expecting to find bags of money, you’ll be disappointed.

But if you’re just expecting to have a nice stroll on a sunny day, and you find a dollar bill, it will feel pretty cool.

One of the ways we mess ourselves up is if we have very VAGUE expectations.

Like “I hope something good happens,” or even worse, “I hope nothing BAD happens.”

Then no matter WHAT happens, it’s not good enough.

But what happens if you have vague expectations that ALWAYS come true?

Like, “I’m about to learn something interesting.”

So you go and do something, not really sure what’s going to happen, but sure that it will be useful information.

How do you do this?

You need to practice.

You have to have EXPERIENCE learnings from every interaction.

This is why DAILY JOURNALING is crucial.

Write down what you did, write down what happened, write down what you learned. Then write down how you can maybe use this information.

It’s also very helpful, and much more powerful, if you have some BIG life goals you’re pursuing.

Money, relationships, career, health, family, living conditions, etc.

So you can see EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION with reality as getting more information that you can use to help you get closer.

Then every action you take will be less scary, less worrisome, less anxious.

And it will FEEL more like a step in the right direction, no matter what happens.

This is one the things you’ll learn in the FEARLESS Ebook.

Get Yours:

Fearless

Blast Away Your Inner Demons

When I was a kid I was very interested in science.

I was insanely curious about how stuff worked.

When I was in junior HS I had a subscription to Science magazine.

Total geek.

I always liked learning about things like atoms, molecules, and what I understood about quantum physics.

I was even on this book of the month club, and I read a bunch of science books.

I remember learning why the sky was blue.

Because the molecules in the upper atmosphere radiate at the same frequency as blue light.

So of all the light that comes through, blue light comes through the easiest.

Later on, I started studying hypnosis, metaphors and story telling.

Joseph Campbell explained the reasons that most of the myths have the same structure.

Of all the stories that were told over the eons of human history, that particular structure resonated the most effectively with humans.

Kind of like how blue light passed through the upper atmosphere the easiest.

One thing that surprises most people is that we have a lot of common fears and insecurities.

But since we never talk about them, we think we are the only ones that have them.

This is one major reason why there are so many different kinds of group therapies.

Just knowing that there are other people out there, just like you, who are having pretty much the SAME problems, is very comforting.

At our core, we all fear the same things.

Rejection, being kicked out of our social group, making mistakes in front of others.

This is why most people are terrified of public speaking or walking up to an attractive person.

Even the people that “seem” to do it naturally are feeling the same fears.

It’s not that they don’t have those same fears and insecurities, they’ve learned to act in spite of them.

To simply accept them as normal.

What you resist, they say, persists.

When you simply accept it, it is not so bad.

One of the common “themes” of myths is to “face” some demon.

This “demon,” of course, is a metaphor for those SAME fears we all share.

However, there are many ways to face them.

Raw courage and will power is one way.

Using mental practice, on a daily basis, is another.

Or both at the same time.

A little of one on a daily basis, out in the real world, and some daily practice on the inside, in your inner world.

And just like anything else, the more you practice, the easier it gets.

Pretty soon those common “fears” won’t be such a big deal anymore.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion Ebooks