When I was younger, I played a lot of golf.
I had a set of hand-me-down clubs that I used.
One thing that I always did was slice. Meaning the ball would start going straight, then it would curve to the right.
It was so consistent that I would just aim left, and then my ball would curve back on track.
People I played with thought I was nuts.
After all, anybody could see what the problem was. Even me.
My grip was all wrong. All I needed to do was change my grip, and it would fix the problem.
The reason I never took the time to do that is because I was too lazy.
Going from something that feels natural, to something that feels unnatural, wasn’t something I was willing to do.
However, had I kept that “unnatural” feeling long enough, it would have become natural.
And my balls wouldn’t slice. They would go straight.
But since I wasn’t really serious about golfing, I didn’t see the point. It was easier just to aim left.
Changing thinking patterns often require the same amount of effort. We think one way, and it gets us a less than perfect result. So we compensate.
But if we change our thinking we can get a much better result.
Problem is that changing our thinking isn’t as easy as flipping a switch, as many people believe.
It’s just as hard as training in a new golf swing, or learning a new song by heart on any instrument.
Unfortunately, a lot of self-development courses tend to imply that new ways of thinking are “once and done.”
But in reality, new ways of thinking, especially if you’ve been thinking the “old way” for a while, can take some time to “feel natural.”
In the book Psycho Cybernetics, there’s an exercise where you tie your shoes backwards. Meaning when you tie the laces instead of going right over left, you go left over right (or whatever the opposite way is).
Something as simple as this takes a while getting used to.
How do you change your thinking?
A great way is by daily journaling. Take any situation where you didn’t “act” or “behave” like you wanted to.
Then rewrite that situation, as if you behaved the way you DID want to.
Then visualize that NEW situation for a minute or two.
If you did this every day, you’d soon be thinking in much more resourceful ways. Which means you’d be behaving in a way that would get you a lot more of what you want, and a lot less of what you didn’t want.
The Interpersonal Resonance book is filled with simple but extremely powerful exercises that you can do on daily basis, so you can rebuild your communication skills from the ground up.
Going from where you are now, to an outgoing, charismatic communicator that people can’t get enough of.