Author Archives: mindpersuasion

Do You Have Closing Anxiety?

They Want You To Ask

The hardest part of the sale is asking for the order.

The reason why is pretty interesting, even if you aren’t in sales, or don’t ever plan to be.

Imagine a salesperson, who knows his or her product very well.

They talk to the customers, find out what they want, and show them that the product is a perfect match.

Only when it comes time to seal the deal, they get nervous.

It’s kind of the same when meeting somebody socially, who you might think may make a decent relationship partner.

So when it comes time to seal the deal (ask for the number, lean in for the kiss, whatever) that same feeling of anxiety pops up.

You might call this “closing anxiety.” Many salespeople are fantastic at greeting customers, creating rapport, but when it comes to talk turkey, they freeze up.

Guys do the same thing. They approach a girl, get her laughing and feeling good, but for some reason they have a hard time asking for the number.

The problem is the same for both cases.

The fear of rejection runs very deep. It was built into our brains BEFORE we learned any words, so it only exists as a feeling. A raw sense of insecurity.

Here’s one trick that can help. Next time you’re going to “seal the deal,” whatever that means to you, think of it as an actual object.

Some imaginary “thing” that you’re holding off to the side. An idea that’s floating out in space.

So if they “reject” that “thing” they’re not rejecting you, just an idea that’s kind of floating off to the side.

If you’re getting somebody’s number, instead of saying, “Can I have your number,” or something similar, actually hold your phone off to the side, and say something like, “Why don’t you put your number in here so we can hang out later.”

Same with a sales situation. Have the contract or the information on a piece of paper, off to the side. Look at your clients, and motion “over there” to the idea of buying the product. “Well, I think this looks pretty good, what do you think?”

Another way to think about this is that person you are talking to, whether it’s for sales or romance WANTS the conversation to end with the sale or the number.

Nobody likes going home empty handed, shoppers or otherwise. Nobody likes going from shop to shop only to find out that they can’t find what they want.

They WANT to come to an agreement with you. They WANT you to have the product they want, or you to be the person of their dreams.

Nobody goes shopping with the hopes of rejecting a bunch of salespeople!

When you understand the true meaning of money, and that people LOVE buying things they need and want, it will be much easier.

Learn How:

Money Love

Tap The Energy of Earth

Grab This Now

Once I was at this goofy real estate seminar.

The guy on stage was talking about taking action.

Then he stopped talking, and held out a $100. Said nothing.

Finally a young girl went running up to grab it, and he gave it to her.

The point (at least in the beginning) was that when you see an opportunity, you should grab it before somebody else does.

However, the way he did it was a bit underhanded.

One, because there are plenty of opportunities to go around. You don’t really need to elbow past people and run somewhere before everybody else does.

Sure, sometimes there really IS only one or two things available, but that’s generally by design.

Because this guy did the same thing a few minutes later, by pulling back a big sheet over a stack of products. Boxes of DVDs and training manuals. Maybe fifty of them.

Everybody rushed the stage again, and they vanished pretty quickly.

Of course, later, when he offered them for sale, he got WAY more sales than he would have.

Which is why this was a pretty sneaky way to generate sales. He TWICE created a sense of urgency, and a sense of “hurry up before I miss out.”

One the one hand, this is true. You only can live every day once. It’s never ever going to come again. You only get one shot at life. (At least this one). The longer you wait around, the less time you’ve got left.

On the other hand, just walking down a busy street will present TONS of opportunities. Things you never would have dreamed of before.

Every single person you meet has a HUGE amount of unfulfilled wants, needs and desires.

If you figure out a way to get people what they want, in a way that they want it, you can make a TON of money.

Think of the last time you bought something, anything, that you wanted.

Before, all you had was money. Then you traded money for whatever that was. Maybe a cup of coffee. Maybe a cheeseburger, maybe a move ticket with your partner.

You likely felt pretty good making the purchase, right?

Most people do.

Think of all the BILLIONS of people on Earth, many of them making purchases like that EVERY SINGLE DAY. Buying something with money, and feeling GOOD about it.

Think of that never ending flow of money going around and around like the ENERGY of the Earth. People making stuff and selling to people who want stuff. The cool thing is that EVERYBODY is both buying AND selling stuff, all at the same time.

All you’ve got to do is figure out a way to get in the game, and you’ll be set.

Get Started:

Money Love

Where Money Beliefs Come From

Three Evil Twins

I remember a long time ago shortly after I graduated from college.

It was before got a job, so I was still VERY wet behind the ears.

I was at some wedding of some distant relative, and I met this guy who was a preacher. I think he was dating another distant relative at the wedding.

Anyhow, when he learned that I’d just graduated and hadn’t found a job, he asked me what I wanted to do.

Half jokingly, I said, “I want to make as much money as I can.”

This preacher was pretty shocked. He launched into some long lecture about how money is bad, chasing money is bad, it’s better to serve your fellow man, etc., etc.

He seemed to enjoy lecturing me so much I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was only kidding.

But this is not an uncommon response. If you told you’re friends and family your main goal in life was to make huge piles of cash, they would immediately think you were evil, or didn’t care about people, or were going to somehow “exploit the poor” in order to get rich.

And to be sure, lately it seems plenty of people ARE getting rich (and staying rich) that way.

But the idea that money, or making money is “evil” has been around a long time.

Why is that?

One of the reasons may be that people in power (those who have money) want to keep it that way.

After all, if everybody were rich, they wouldn’t feel so special.

Another reason is that most people simply aren’t very good at making money. So when you tell your buddies you want to learn HOW to make money, they suddenly feel as if they are going to be left behind. So they say money is bad.

Another reason is a lot of people associate the idea of making money with presenting themselves to the world.

After all, if you really DID give it your best shot, and failed, what does that say about you?

These three reasons, combined together, make it pretty fricking easy to convince ourselves that money is bad. It keeps us safe. It keeps our friends from thinking we’re going to leave them. And those that are in power don’t need to worry about us challenging them.

Luckily, all of these reasons are absolute NONSENSE. Lies we tell ourselves to protect our egos.

The bottom line is that money is FANTASTIC. Making money is FANTASTIC.

Because the ONLY WAY to honestly make money is to make (or help make) something (product or service) that other people WANT.

So in reality, when you say you want to MAKE A TON OF MONEY, what you’re really saying is that you want to figure out how to help as many people in the world get what they want.

And that is anything BUT evil.

Learn More:

Money Love

What Will Your Genius Bring You?

Dreams Are Just The Beginning

Becoming an expert in something takes a while.

If you wanted to become the top of your field in photoshop, for example, you’d need to spend a lot of hours practicing.

Hopefully, that would be something you would both enjoy, both the learning part and the imagining when you are an expert part.

Same goes for pretty much anything. As the famous saying goes, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice!”

The truth is you can good at pretty much anything if you practice enough. Sure, some people are born with natural talent, but that will only take you so far. Genius, as somebody famously said, is one percent inspiration, and 99 percent perspiration.

Which means having a great idea or a dream is just the start of a LONG journey.

Many historians have theorized that there have been TONS of world changing inventions over the years. But most of them happened to come to people that didn’t have the time, OR the resources to try them out.

Imagine some dirt poor farmer in the middle ages having a brilliant idea for something. Only he spends 12-14 hours day growing enough to just BARELY feed his family, that genius idea is only a passing thought.

Today, on the other hand, there is a much higher chance that any one of us (that includes YOU) can have a genius idea that will change the world.

Sure, you’ve still got to put in the time, effort and perspiration to make it happen. This could mean talking to plenty of people, crowdsourcing some start up capital, and even talking to people face to face to get things going.

But you’d have a much easier time than a middle age farmer!

There IS one thing that is standing between where you are now, and your inevitable success.

And that is what you believe about yourself. It’s VERY difficult to get out there and talk to people, and even ask strangers for help, if you don’t believe in yourself.

However, if you DO believe that you’ll eventually be successful, you will. It won’t happen over night, but it will happen.

One of the biggest road blocks to ANY success is negative or limiting beliefs about money.

Because money is so closely tied in to our own feelings of self worth, our abilities to express our ideas to others, AND a fear of rejection.

But once you understand the TRUTH about money, you’ll realize that money is a blessing.

Without money we’d still be trading corn for shoes. (or whatever for whatever).

It’s BECAUSE of money that the world has come SO far in SUCH a short time.

To blast those beliefs right out of your head, and get in the game, check this out:

Money Love

Is Your DNA Holding You Back?

Kick Darwin To The Curb

One of the most interesting conversations is nurture vs. nature.

When we behave a certain way, is that our nature, or is it because that’s how we were raised?

Since they’ve only just begun decoding DNA, that question is still very unanswered.

It’s easy to see both sides of the argument.

It’s kind of like Einstein’s famous unsolvable mind experiment.

Imagine you’re in a room. No windows. You are either on a spaceship that is accelerating slowly, or you are on some planet that has gravity.

If you drop something, it will fall to the floor. The question is what experiment can you do, that will measure whether or not that thing drops to the floor because of gravity, or because you are accelerating?

So far, nobody’s been able to come up with an answer.

Kind of like obesity. Is it in your genes, or is it because of your childhood?

Most people don’t like the idea of things being in our genes. That means we can’t change it, unless we rewrite our DNA.

(BTW, did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans…)

One thing that is certainly NOT hereditary is your ability to make money.

There are plenty of examples of people with super poor parents becoming super rich.

Sure, it’s easy if you are brought up to believe that making money is easy, overcoming obstacles is easy, but it’s certainly not required.

A recent study has shown that rich people have more of a mindset than anything else.

A mindset that they tell themselves, “I can become rich, and I will become rich.”

A mindset that says their wealth comes from their consistent efforts, and not some magic money fairy that comes during the night.

A mindset that says no matter what obstacle they come up against, they’ll find a way around it, AND learn something in the process, so long as they don’t give up.

On the other hand, if you subscribe to some theory that if you ONLY say the right affirmations twice a day, and the money will somehow poof itself into existence, even a small obstacle will give you problems.

But here’s the thing. The feeling of “getting something” in the form of a gift is much, much different than “achieving something” due to your efforts.

The first one feels great, but it’s kind of like a sugar rush. Lasts for a little bit, but then you want more.

The second one, achievement, is in a class in and of itself. Getting something you worked for is a drug like no other. Because it’s totally under your control, it feels so much better than getting free stuff.

It actually gives you a deep knowing that your life is under your control. Not anybody else’s.

Getting to this point requires that you ditch those old beliefs about money once and for all.

This will do that:

Money Love

Are You Scared Of Setting Goals?

Make It Because Of You

Most people know that goals are important.

Yet at the same time, most people don’t have goals.

One of the reasons is that most people are terrified of failure.

AND people like an unknown, potentially bright future.

Being an entrepreneur is often thought to be a skill only a few lucky people have.

But the real truth is that EVERYBODY is an entrepreneur. It’s really just a matter of degree.

What does an entrepreneur do? They look at what they have. They imagine what they can do with that. Then they try to make something better out of what they have. If they are in business, they take raw skills, raw equipment, raw ideas, and turn them into products and services. If they produce something people want, they get more money out of the system than they get in.

On the one hand, it makes perfect sense. But on the other hand, it’s like magic.

Consider one experiment an economist did. He had a large class of college kids. In each chair, he placed an object. A random object worth a couple dollars. He had everybody look at this random object, and measure their current state of “happiness,” on a scale of one to ten. Then he calculated the “total happiness” by multiplying each person’s score, times the number of people.

Then he let people trade. Their “stuff” for other people’s “stuff.” They had fun trading, and most people ended up with something better than what they started with.

Why?

Because everybody’s “junk” is somebody else’s “treasure.”

And after the experiment, he did the same thing. Measured their individual “happiness” and the “total happiness.”

And guess what? As you’d expect, the total happiness INCREASED. By a lot.

Nothing new was introduced into the room. Same people. Same amount of stuff. More happiness.

The reason we “like” having “vague” goals is that it allows us to imagine some awesome future way out there.

Once we set a goal (we imagine) we think we’re stuck. Especially if we fail.

The problem is that if we only have a vague set of goals, it’s hard to get motivated. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it will happen “to” us, instead of “because of” us.

Luckily, there are three simple cures for this.

One is to make your goal super big. Concrete, and well defined, but super big.

Two is to add on the simple statement, “or better” at the end. That won’t lock you in to anything.

Three is to allow yourself to redefine your goal as you get more information.

This way, you get the best of both worlds.

You get to dream big, AND you get to be motivated by something big, so you’ll be motivated to take action.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

Leverage The Invisible Hand

Feedback Magic

There’s this pretty cool theory in economics called “spontaneous order.”

It’s been misunderstood by some, as Adam Smith referred to it as the “invisible hand.”

People thought he was referring to God, or some Creator, but he wasn’t.

Instead, he was referring to the idea that people, on their own, working together, will come up with incredibly creative solutions to problems.

Basically it works like this. There’s a unfulfilled need. And somebody comes up with his or her best guess on how to fulfill that. It sort of does, for a while. Then somebody else sees that, and copies it, only they make it a little bit better. Then somebody copies THAT, and makes THAT a little bit better.

In a short while, you’ve got some crazy invention that NOBODY would have thought of.

Another thing that happens is that people start to think if DIFFERENT ways to use that invention, whatever it is.

Then THAT will spin off into a bunch of different directions as people riff off each other and keep the magic going.

Despite how “obvious” these things seem to be, these inventions evolve in ways that NOBODY could have predicted.

This is the “invisible hand” or “spontaneous order.” The vast “hive mind” that is continuously upgrading all of it’s collective ideas, and inventions, so people can more easily get their needs met.

It’s about as close to a REAL PRESENCE of a “super conscious mind” that you can get.

No top down management. Nobody checking to make sure everybody is following the “rules.” Just people being creative in solving each others problems, and fulfilling each others needs.

This also happens very much the same way on an individual level. Often times, people have goals or dreams but are afraid to start, because they don’t know how. They seem to think there is some kind of step by step plan to make it happen.

But just like no society can predict what inventions will exist in five or ten years, there is no way YOU can predict the path between YOU and your goals.

Because every single step will require you interact with the world, and see what happens. Then you take THAT feedback, which is necessarily UNKNOWN until it happens, and use that information to act again.

Every time you act, you get feedback. All feedback helps you act better next time.

Nearly every major success story you’ll find is somebody who had NO IDEA HOW they were going to be successful at the beginning.

All they had was a strong desire, and the motivation to keep going, no matter what.

So long as you know what you want, you keep taking action, and you learn from all feedback, it is impossible to fail.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

Are You Waiting For Meaning?

Choose Your Own Direction

Once I was dating this girl. We’d been together about a year.

It was pretty clear that the magic was starting to fade. Every time we’d get together, we’d just kind of go through the motions. Eventually we parted ways, both realizing that was best.

Sometimes on the weekends I’ll go to the local mall. If there’s decent movie to see, and I happen to be in the middle of a good book, I’ll get there a couple hours before the show starts.

Hang out in a coffee shop and read. Catch the show. Do some window shopping, then head out.

Sometimes when I’ve got a couple hours to kill before a meeting or event, I’ll go downtown and wander around.

Most people find that it’s pretty easy to feel lost. That life doesn’t have a point. That there’s no meaning.

But here’s the thing. Most people are waiting for somebody else to give the meaning. Some external “thing” that defines their lives. Some people happen to “meet” the right person, and it works out. Then they happen to “find” the right job, which turns into a career. Then you can feel like you’re onto something.

But for more and more of us, that doesn’t really “happen” any more.

The world is different. The economy is different.

Which means it’s up to YOU.

Only YOU can define what your life is for. Only YOU can give your life direction. Only YOU can choose where you are going in your life.

Most people have very vague wishes of things they’d like to have “happen” in their lives.

Very, very few take the time to take those vague wishes, and turn them into concrete goals, backed by concrete plans.

In reality, it doesn’t take long to do that. We humans come preprogrammed with very STRONG desires.

Money. Security. Companionship. Recognition. Self-fulfillment.

It’s up to YOU to take those vague instincts, and turn them into action plans. How long will that take? If you’re serious, not very long.

And once you get started on your action plan, you’ll simply redefine them as you go along. The more things you try, the more feedback you’ll get, and the more enlightened you’ll become on how to get there.

Only THEN will your life have real meaning. A meaning few ever feel.

Why?

Most people are terrified. Most people think that if they choose one big goal for their lives, they may fail. Which means their life is meaningless.

But the paradox is that the only way for your life to NOT be meaningless is to choose your life. Live your life. Leave your mark.

Stop waiting, and start acting.

These will help:

Mind Persuasion

Are You Working Numbers?

Half Baked Thoughts

What makes two people “click”?

You meet somebody, either a friend or potential lover, and everything just kind of “works.”

You be yourself, they be themselves, and everything just works out.

If you’re building a business, meeting somebody like this can be the difference between struggling for years, or suddenly making it big.

Most people think this is simply kind of “numbers game.” And to an extent, it certainly is.

After all, not every single person on Earth is going to be your best friend. Or you lover, or your business partner. If you are intending to meet that person, there is going to be some “sorting” involved.

This requires you know what you want, and you’ll know when you find it.

However, most people lean too heavily on the “numbers game” model.

You walk up, spit out some words that vaguely represent the thoughts in your mind. They hear them, and interpret them based on the thoughts in THEIR mind. Then those thoughts in their mind (caused by your randomly chosen words) are mixed up with the thoughts they had before that.

Then THEY spit out some random words. If everything works out, a conversation ensues. If THAT works out, then maybe you’ll create a relationship.

When most folks approach somebody else, they just “hope” it works.

However, you CAN significantly increase your odds. Instead of just spitting out some words, you can choose them carefully.

Instead of “hoping” that your thoughts are going to hopefully overlap with theirs, you can make it much more likely.

How?

Simply by asking them the right questions, in the right way.

Most people lead with their own desires. You walk over, you break the ice, and then you start with your “pitch.”

Since most people mostly talk about themselves, the end result is many people aren’t compatible. Which is when that “numbers game” theory comes up.

But by asking the right questions, in the right order, you’ll be STARTING with their wants and needs.

Only then do you start talking about what YOU want.

And when you do that, somebody pretty amazing will happen.

Instead of just hearing about you and what you want, they’ll be hearing that THROUGH the filter of their own wants needs and desires.

Making YOUR wants, needs and desires seem so much better.

Which means you’ll have a lot more success, with a lot more people.

No matter WHAT you want.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

One Trick To His Wealth

Only Your Words

I like to watch apocalyptic type movies.

Zombies, end of the world, stuff like that.

Sometimes, though, I get a bit curious (especially if the movie is a bit slow) and start looking stuff up just to see “What if…”

For example, I watched one movie where they were these two neighbors up in the hills. One group was some ultra yuppie type that liked drinking wine and talking about the world’s social problems.

The other group was a bunch of hippies that were cooking meth.

They were both in their respective cabins when the end came. The movie was about how they had to work together to survive. It ended with them happily planting some vegetables in their garden.

Which got me a bit curious. How big of a garden would you need?

As it turns out, in a modern economy, each person requires about an acre per year for enough food.

And in the movie, there were about ten people all working on something MUCH smaller than that.

But then again, movies aren’t known for their scientific accuracy!

I saw an interview with this ultra rich guy. A guy that was born poor, and clawed his way up to wealth. It took most of his life, so he wasn’t some kind of Law of Attraction guy that was promoting any kind of metaphysical magic.

Rather, his was a story of hard work, measured risk, self-belief, and perseverance.

The interviewer asked him what skills he would need if he was dropped into a strange city with only a few dollars to his name.

The MOST IMPORTANT skill, according to him, was the ability to communicate effectively AND persuasively to others.

Even if you had the best idea, it wouldn’t be worth squat unless you could not only communicate your idea to others, but do so in a way where they could see how THEY would benefit if they helped you.

After all, no matter HOW good your ideas are, few people will work with you unless you not only have a strong belief that your ideas will pan out, but that EVERYBODY INVOLVED will benefit in some way.

Which means you have to have an idea, (or several) and you have to have the ability to talk other people into helping you.

If you can do that, you can build anything.

Get Started:

Interpersonal Resonance