Author Archives: mindpersuasion

How To Shine Your Light

How to Change Their Filters

How To Create Their Filters

​Why is the sky blue?

This is a good metaphor for how the mind works.

We’ve all got these filters in our heads. Some are preprogrammed, some are learned.

For example, nobody comes into this world with our names burned into our brain.

Yet it doesn’t take long to associate a name that somebody else has given us, with our deep sense of self-identity. If we’re at a party, and somebody says our name a few feet away, we’ll automatically pick up on it.

Money is something else we “learn” to be on the lookout for. If you’re walking down the street, and you see a green piece of paper out of the corner of your eye, you’ll turn your head before you even know what’s what. 

And if it IS money, you’ll feel a rush of excitement as you reach down and pick it up. None of this will be conscious. Sure, you’re consciously aware of it while it’s happening, but it’s driven by subconscious desire.

Here’s the cool thing. If you moved to a country with a totally different type of money, different shape, different color, different material, you would EASILY start seeing THAT with the same subconscious desire.

Other filters are much more flexible. Meaning they can be conjured up on the spot. For example, if you started to talk to somebody, friend or whoever, about something they REALLY wanted, they would start seeing YOU through those temporary filters of desire.

This is why a lot of dating coaches recommend going on “action dates” in the beginning of the relationship. You subconsciously associate the fun and excitement with each other.

The more you talk to somebody about their desires, they’ll subconsciously associate their desires with you. Both because they are looking at you while they are talking about their desires, and they are talking about their desires BECAUSE you are the one asking them questions about it.

Kind of like why the sky is blue. Of all the different color light that comes from the sun, blue comes through the strongest. The molecules in the upper atmosphere vibrate at about the same frequency as blue light. So the sky appears blue.

When you ask questions about their desires, in the right way, and ask good follow up questions, in the right way, they will see YOU as resonating with their desires.

Which means YOU will be seen in a very, very good light, regardless of who you are and what you may or may not have to offer.

To learn how, check this out:

How To Tap The Hive Mind

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The Collective Unconscious

​Words can often be misunderstood.

For example, Chomsky is famous for coming up with the theory of “Transformational Grammar.”

In which he described things called “surface structure” and “deep structure.”

People who liked to think of themselves as intelligent and insightful started to use those terms for many non-scientific things. Like the “surface structure” vs the “deep structure” of an artists painting. Or an interpretation of a book or movie.

But in reality, Chomsky only meant to describe a very specific linguistic detail of our common grammatical structure.

In fact, he was so upset that people “misused” his theory that he changed the name to s-structure and d-structure.

Another word that gets thrown around is Jung’s “collective unconscious.” Now, this could either mean ONE big brain that we are all hooked into.

OR it could mean (and likely does) the SAME structure that we all share in our brains.

He noticed that many of his patients had the same dreams, and those dreams had the same “characters” which he later described as “archetypes.”

It’s kind of like saying we have a “collective thumb.” Meaning we all have the same thumb that does the same thing. Not that there’s some HUGE universal thumb we’re all hooked into.

On the other hand, we can never really understand the structure of reality. We can only guess. And the bottom line is not whether or not we’re “right” in our description, it’s whether or not we can get what we’re after.

Consider the “hole” theory from solid state physics. A bunch of physicists were standing around, trying to comprehend the mathematics of a body of matter with super-concentrated atoms. So concentrated that there was very little space between them.

The math was MASSIVELY difficult. Then once scientist had an idea. Instead of treating that object as a collection of atoms (which there were billions and billions) why not treat it as a collection of holes?

There were a lot less, so the math would be easy. And guess what? It worked PERFECTLY. Even though it was clearly false (or was it?)

So, what really IS the super conscious, or collective unconscious?

More importantly, how can you interact with “it” in order to get what you want?

Well, try this theory on for size, and see if it works.

The collective unconscious is other people. Every single time you interact with another human, you are “tapping” in to the collective unconscious. Or the super conscious if you prefer.

One node in the VAST storehouse of human knowledge and experience.

One node in the network of creation, responsible for producing EVERYTHING.

One small neuron in the HIVE MIND of humanity.

How can you interact most effectively?

Here’s How:

Are You Asking For The Right Things?

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Time To Grow Up

​There’s a lot of watershed moments in a person’s life.

The time before your first kiss, and the time after.

The time before you started working, and the time after.

The time before you had kids, and the time after.

One of the most important is also the hardest to identify, as it manifests itself in many ways.

The childhood portion, and the adult portion.

When we are children, all we need do is ask, and we receive.

But this doesn’t work so well when we’re adults. On the other hand, there are plenty of books, strategies, political beliefs, and even religions that promise simply asking is all we need do.

This begs the question, if ALL of us ONLY ask, then who’s doing the giving?

What if all the guys and gals who ran the electricity and water plants decided they didn’t need to go to work, and all they needed to do was sit home and “ask”?

What if the people around the world that grew the food we all depend on every day decided that they just needed to sit home and “ask” instead of going to work every day?

I know, these are tough questions we don’t like asking. We LOVE the idea of getting something for nothing.

But as mentioned above, that really only works for kids. Who have parents who are genetically programmed to take care of them.

As adults, we have to always look for not only what we want, but what we can give in order to get it.

And the easiest way to do this is to simply ask others what THEY want.

When we get into the habit of doing this, then things can go pretty smoothly.

Most people walk around talking about themselves. What they’ve done. What they want to do. What they think they deserve.

Sure, if you happen to have EXACTLY what they want, and you KNOW somehow that they’ve got what you want, then that may work pretty well.

But this is pretty rare. 

On the other hand, when you have enough faith in people in general, that just by talking to them in a certain way, you can get a LOT more than you think you can. 

When you start ASKING other people what they want, instead of overwhelming them with your desires, something pretty amazing will happen.

They’ll suddenly become energized. Open. Excited. They’ll wonder who the heck YOU are, and how they can help YOU.

This will open many more doors that most people realize exist.

Find Out More:

Are You Playing The Numbers Game?

Put Down The Phone

Hang Up The Phone

​Long, long time ago, I had a job in a call center.

One of those aggressive, call-a-million-people-a-day places.

They were selling some kind of long distance service. The training was one day, with the guru firing everybody up.

They had a new training class once a week. Maybe 50 new people. After one week, about 40 would quit.

And within a month, half of those who were left would quit.

They paid ten bucks an hour, plus commissions.

So they were willing to pay 45 people (those that quit) for up to a month, without much return.

The idea was that the remaining five people that would stay would make up the difference.

Meaning the income generated by those five sellers, calling people over and over and over would MORE than pay for what it costs to pay the other 45 who never made a nickel.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the 80/20 rule? Twenty percent of the people make eighty percent of the profits?

It’s the same from the sellers point of view. Sure, 9 out of 10 people would hang up. But that tenth person was where the money was.

So long as they kept calling, they kept making money.

As you can see, having awesome sales skills wasn’t required. Only the ability to memorize a short script, and a VERY thick skin.

Same goes with meeting people for romantic reasons. At least according to the theory. Come up with an easy to spit out pick up line, say to enough people, and you’ll collect some numbers. Call enough numbers, and you’ll get some dates.

After all, it’s just a number’s game, right?

Well, it is to most. But it doesn’t HAVE to be.

Because most communication models don’t teach people HOW to be persuasive. At the heart of most strategies is the “numbers game” theory.

But in reality, there is a much, much better way.

A way that doesn’t require massive rejection. Or the stigma of being pushy or creepy.

A much more respectful communication model. That is based on the OTHER PERSON first, not your wants or needs.

A way to get them to WILLING open up to you, and tell you things they’ve never told anybody before.

A way to make them GLAD they interacted with you, even if you don’t exchange contact information or contracts or even agree on anything you’ve discussed.

In truth, most communication strategies only teach two quadrants, when in reality there are four.

When you respect ALL FOUR, you’ll speak to people in a way they’ve never heard before.

Making YOU stand out in their memory for the rest of their lives.

In a very, very good way.

Learn How:

Open Them Like A B-Day Present

Open Them Carefully

Avoid Putting Them On The Spot

​There’s all kinds of funny scenes in movies when two people are talking, but they both think they are talking about something different.

One of the key components of the Milton Model, the set of language patterns used in conversational hypnosis, is artful vagueness.

Meaning if I said something like, “He said that they were thinking about doing that, until she came up and said it was a bad idea, until they realized the true implications,” you really have ZERO clue what that means. Lots of unspecified pronouns and verbs.

But when you use these with a lot of skill, you can kind of “guess” what meaning the listener or reader will use when they fill in the blanks.

For example, consider this sentence:

“My brother and his cousin were talking about whether or not to study hypnosis or work on their language skills, and then he decided it was a good idea, so they did that.”

It’s still pretty confusing, but any meaning you come up with has to do with improving your communication skills.

Unfortunately, a lot of people use those vague words without being clear what they refer to, or without using them with any thought.

So you get two people talking about something and they both kind of have to guess what each other means.

One way to see this in action is to listen in on a conversation. Or be quiet for a few minutes when you’re in a group setting. Pay close attention to the specific words and sentences others use. 

You’ll find that most of the time, the stuff people talk about is VERY vague.

Now, what happens if you want to get more information?

Most people ask equally vague questions. Like, “What do you mean?” or “Tell me more.”

And if you’re talking about something, and somebody asks you a question like that, it’s easy to feel “on the spot,” as if everybody is suddenly looking at you to deliver some kind of genius idea.

Luckily, there is a pretty easy way to get people to speak more specifically about what they want.

And it WON’T make them feel “on the spot.” It will have the opposite effect. It will make them feel validated and noticed. Something we ALL crave. Not just for “being them” but for their specific ideas.

The set of questions is kind of the polar opposite of the Milton Model, which is based on vagueness.

When used carefully, not only will they open up like a birthday present, but they’ll NEVER forget you.

What’s more, is the more you ask them about their deepest desires, the more they’ll naturally associate their deepest desires with YOU.

What could you do with that?

Learn More:

How To Resonate With Others

Ditch Your Monkey Brain

Upgrade Your Brain

​The English language is packed with metaphors.

Language itself is an interesting concept.

Evolution moves pretty slowly. It’s not like one day there were a bunch of monkeys standing around throwing bananas at each other, and out popped some human elegantly spinning tales of wonder.

Chimps have basic language and signs.

Another interesting thing is that we all have three brains. Our reptile brain, or mammal brain and our neo-cortex (new brain).

Unfortunately, when Mother Nature (or whoever) decides to upgrade our brains, it’s not like getting a software upgrade. They don’t remove old components and replace them with new components.

Brain upgrades get put on top of old software. So we’ve still got all that primitive junk under a very thin layer of new brain.

How does this affect language?

Well, every time we use a noun, we HAVE to use it as if it’s a REAL OBJECT, even if it isn’t.

Like when we say, “In a meeting.” There’s really no such thing as a meeting. Sure, there’s a meeting room, a table, a bunch of chairs, and the people. But the “meeting” itself is really just a shared hallucination. A description of what’s going on.

Technically is called a “nominalization.” A noun (meeting) made from a verb (to meet).

But when we use “meeting,” we HAVE to use it AS IF it were a real thing.

What kind of thing?

Well, we say “in” a meeting, so we think of it like a container.

Like “in” love. Or “in” our cars.

So if we say “in” our cars, why do we say “on” the plane, or “on” the bus, or “on” the train?

Aren’t those containers as well? Not how we think of them. We think of them as vehicles. And our old brains imagine a vehicle to be something you ride “on.” Like “on” the horse.

Metaphors can be helpful, but they can also make us imagine life is much simpler than it really is.

Like the “law of attraction” for example. All you have to do is “radiate” something on some “frequency” and you’ll attract that same “stuff.”

Sounds great, but also sounds pretty vague.

How EXACTLY do you “resonate?”

Sure, it works with magnets. But magnets are very, very simple. Made up of simple components.

YOU are incredibly complex. Filled with thing scientists don’t dare question, as they are WAY beyond human understanding.

The good news is you don’t need to know exactly HOW it works.

All you need to do is figure out what you want, and keep checking if you’re getting closer or not.

AND when you ask questions in the right way, it will DRAMATICALLY accelerate the process.

Learn How:

How To Release The Brakes

Release The Brakes

Trust Yourself

​Once I had to move from one apartment to another, a few hours apart.

I rented a big U-Haul truck. I drove between these two cities a lot.

But when I was driving the moving truck, it took a lot longer.

I guess for insurance purposes, they had a “governor” on the accelerator.

You couldn’t go more than the speed limit.

They have these mountain bike tours in Hawaii, and other places.

You ride to the top of these LONG hills (in a van) with gorgeous views. Then you coast down, on your bikes.

Only for safety, the bikes have breaks that are set permanently. Meaning you CAN’T go very fast.

Otherwise somebody would go too fast, crash, and that would be that for the tour company.

Once I was riding a skateboard from a friends dorm, back to mine, in college.

In between was this HUGE hill. One I was too scared to ride down during the day.

Only that night, after having a couple, I had an INCREASE in confidence.

Unfortunately, it was only imaginary confidence. Not confidence based on experience.

Needless to say, I crashed. 

I used to live near these hills. I had a pretty decent mountain bike. I’d ride up and down those hills after work, and on the weekends.

There was one hill that was fantastic. Amazing views from the top. A long, steep decline, which curved slightly to the right.

The no lights or intersections on the way down. And at the bottom, it was flat for about half a mile before the first light.

PERFECT for seeing how fast you could go.

The fastest I ever went was 53 mph, just coasting.

And that was only having released the brakes just for about twenty seconds.

No speed wobbles. I had all the safety gear, but it was still plenty scary.

AND plenty exhilarating.

Brakes are like your inhibitions. Sometimes they are there for a reason. Sometimes you can release them for the wrong reasons.

But when you release them for the RIGHT reasons, it’s REALLY exciting.

What’s even better, any fear you feel during that excitement is all in your mind.

It’s not like riding down a steep hill where one wrong move could transform you into hamburger meat!

But when you release your interpersonal inhibitions completely, the excitement is JUST as real. 

How do you do that?

First you’ll need to do some exercises specially designed to retrain the way you think about these things.

Then you’ll learn how to communicate with others, in a way that will make THEM feel that excitement just because you are around.

Which means YOU will be able to not only FEEL that exhilaration, but create it at will, within anybody you meet.

Learn How:

The Tipping Point

Create Your Tipping Point

How To Engineer Luck

​I used to go to the gym a lot.

For a while, I was using these stair climbers.

They had a program that looked like you were going up and down hills.

Going up was hard, and when you watched the readout, you could tell when an easy part was coming.

The resistance in the pedals suddenly lessened considerably. You could go a lot faster with a lot less effort.

I remember the first couple times I went rock climbing. Pretty scary to say the least.

But paradoxically, after I slipped a couple of times, it became a lot less scary. I had a buddy who was an expert, and he would always go first. As he climbed up, I’d feed the rope out. He would put the rope through pieces of “protection” so that if he fell, he’d fall until the rope was tight, from his waist, through the “protection” and then back down to me.

But when I climbed up after, slipping was only a couple inches. As the rope was straight from me to him.

So when I did slip a couple of times, I IMMEDIATELY felt the rope holding me. 

Once I had experience that the rope was there to protect me, the fear vanished, and I climbed a lot faster, and more confidently.

If you’ve seen romantic movies, there’s often a time when a couple has a lot of sexual tension. He feels it, she feels it, but both are kind of scared to act on it.

Then when they both act on it at the same time, that’s when the fireworks start. That fear is IMMEDIATELY replaced by a pleasure that has no equal.

If you’ve experienced this, you KNOW what an awesome feeling that is.

Most of the time, resistance, either internal or external, takes a while to get over. It slowly gets smaller, as our courage and fortitude slowly gets bigger, until we get to that tipping point.

But sometimes, it can happen in an instant. Like on the stair climber, or rock climbing or kissing your partner for the first time.

Most people think that these things “just happen.” That when they do happen we are “lucky.”

But in reality, these “tipping points” can be engineered.

Not only engineered, but reproduced at will. Which means you can walk up to anybody, and talk to them in a way that will almost GUARANTEE that tipping point will happen.

When THEIR internal fear vanishes, and the floodgates open.

Now, GETTING to that point takes some time. Some practice. Some mental exercises.

But it IS worth it.

Learn How:

How The Light Bulb Went Off In My Head

Use Their Reasons, Not Yours

Speak Their Language

​I remember when I got my first job right out of college.

Pretty broke, didn’t have much furniture. First apartment was pretty bare.

I needed a lamp, so I went to a local lamp shop (that I walked to).

The guy working there was really helpful. Asked a bunch of questions not only about what kind of lamp I wanted, but a little bit about me as well.

He didn’t try and sell me the biggest and most expensive lamp. Rather, he helped me find one that was inexpensive, and would do the job. He was also understood that I’d just started working, and didn’t have much cash.

He said something like, “Every other paycheck or so, you can come back and slowly build up your lamp collection.”

And guess what?

For the next couple years, every time I needed a lamp, that’s where I went.

On the other hand, I’ve bought (or tried to buy) things and the salesperson had the opposite effect. I said I wanted to spend 20 bucks, and they’s show me something for 30 bucks. 

Once I was taking a piano class, and I wanted to buy a cheap keyboard. Since I was just beginning, I wanted the cheapest one I could find.

So I went to my local Guitar Center, and the guy noticed me looking at keyboards. He didn’t ask me many questions, only noticed I was looking at the more cheaper models.

“You don’t want those, man! That’s kid stuff! You need this one over here!” And he showed me this $500 model that had too many buttons in to count.

Needless to say, not only did I NOT buy a keyboard from this guy, but I don’t think I EVER shopped at that particular Guitar Center again.

Even if you’re not selling anything, or not overtly persuading anybody, I’m sure you can see the difference in communication styles.

Talking to somebody based on THEIR needs, vs. talking to somebody based on YOUR needs.

The funny thing is, if you take some time to get to know them, find out not only what you want, but what their limitations are (real or imagined) you’ll be MUCH MORE LIKELY to get YOUR needs met.

That lamp guy went out of his way to help me find the cheapest lamp. But over the next two years or so, I probably bought 5 or 6 lamps from him.

When you first find out about others, you can create a much, much stronger relationship. And they’ll remember you for a lot longer. Even know, I can picture that lamp guy in my mind.

This type of communication will help you create much, much more.

Learn How:

Pull Yourself Together

All Together Now...

Stroke!

​Sometimes in the movies, they’ll have these rowing races.

Usually they involve some guys or gals in some expensive ivy league school.

If you’ve seen that movie about Facebook (The Social Network) then you know what I mean.

Two long rowboats, with six or seven guys. All rowing.

At first glance, it would seem to be a competition of strength, and endurance.

While that’s part of the equation, it’s not the main part.

They’ve got this guy at the front, with a bullhorn.

He’s shouting, “Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!”

The MAIN contest is who can work together the best.

If you’ve got team A, for example, that are really strong but aren’t quite “together” when they take each stroke, they’ll be easily beaten by team B, who might be weaker, but are VERY “tight” when they row.

Like one entity, instead of a bunch of different guys.

I had a buddy once I worked with. He saw this band. He said they were AWESOME. But he didn’t say anything about the kind of music, whether it was original or cover stuff.

He only said they were “as tight as a mosquito’s butthole.” Meaning they played together VERY well.

That was more important than the music they played, or even the instruments they used.

You know how when those ultra professional singers can break a glass or a mirror with their voice?

It’s not because their voice is ultra powerful. It’s because they can hold a note that is the EXACT same frequency as the vibrational frequency of the glass or the mirror. It’s their ability to hold a note ultra steady, not sing really, really powerfully, that allows them to do that.

This is the power of congruence.

When you’ve got ALL your internal parts working together. Just like that band, it won’t matter WHAT you are talking about. People will only find it amazing and won’t be able to stop listening to you.

What’s even more, when you can elicit the frequency of even the shyest person, so the TWO of you can resonate together, that will be a connection like no other.

How do you do that?

First, get congruent yourself. This takes time. This takes plenty of mental practice. This takes some uncomfortable digging through those emotions most people would rather not face.

But the rewards are ENORMOUS.

Once you get congruent yourself, your mere presence will awaken a desire in others. One they’ll share with you like they’ve never shared before.

What can you DO with such power?

A lot.

Learn More: