Author Archives: mindpersuasion

How To Make The Complicated Seem Familiar

Get A Bird's Eye View

Go Meta

One of the great things about humans is we are always trying to simplify things.

Take some kind of complex problem, and figure out how to solve is as easily as possible.

Physicists are always looking for some kind of “grand unifying theory,” one idea can be used to describe everything we see.

Even our conscious-unconscious minds are looking for ways to minimize effort.

This is the whole idea behind “unconscious competence,” when you can do something without much thought.

Like riding a bike (or playing an instrument or tying your shoes)  was once impossible. Then you could do it with a lot of conscious effort. Now you can do it while doing a million other things.

Any skill that we learn pretty much goes through the same process. Talking to girls, making money, learning a programming language, everything.

At first it’s difficult and confusing. Then, if you stick with it, it gets so you can get pretty good at it, while keeping your mind focused.

Then, if you really keep at it, you can do it without much thought. Just think of the things you can do now, that baffled you a while ago.

Of course, how quickly you learn any new skill depends on a lot of things. Your natural abilities in that area, how many people in your social reference group have already mastered it, etc.

Even if other people have done it can help.

For the longest time, nobody could break the 4 minute mile. Once one guy did, everybody started doing it.

Before, they believed it was impossible, then they believed it was possible.

As they believed, so it was. All the guys who broke the four minute mile AFTER the first guy did ONLY did so because their beliefs changed.

This is the ONE ingredient that will make learning ANY skill a lot easier.

One trick is to “go meta.”

Next time you start to learn something, instead of thinking of that “thing,” just think in terms of “learning new things.”

Taking making money for example. If you think of it as “making a ton of money,” it may seem difficult and out of read.

But if you think of it as “learning something new,” it will be a lot easier.

Because no matter who you are, or what you’ve accomplished, you’ve ALREADY learned TONS of complicated stuff.

What’s one more thing?

It’s really just like riding a bike. You get on, start pedaling, and adjust as you go, and “learn” while go.

To make it even easier, take a look at this:

Belief Change

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl

She'll Only Follow You If You Lead

Go First And See If She Follows

One of the most crucial things to understand about being a guy is that guys go first.

Now, this of course isn’t always true. If you’re at work, in the military, anywhere professionally, and your not top on the totem pole, you’re going to following orders and following in general. Sometimes men, sometimes women.

But in the world of romance, especially in the early days, you’ve got to go first. With pretty much everything.

Now, this is tough. It’s easy to go overboard. If you walk up to some stranger and tell her you love her, she’ll call the cops.

And if you’re on a first or second date and you open the emotional floodgates, she’ll run away screaming.

So on the one side, you’ve got to go first, just so show her it’s safe. Then you’ve got to wait and let her catch up.

The metaphor of walking down an uncertain trail in the woods is good. You lead, but not by very far. If it’s safe, you walk side by side. When it’s dangerous, you go first, but just enough so she doesn’t get scared. Don’t leave her behind. Always make sure she’s following close behind.

How does this translate into the dating world?

You approach her. You start talking to her. If you want to know something about her that may be uncomfortable, you reveal yours first.

Now, many “gurus” will disagree with this. They’ll say all girls are super defensive and will need to have their “shields” broken through with all kinds of slippery mind games and pick up gambits.

Sure, if you approach a super model who’s getting hit on by millionaire pro athletes all the time, you may indeed need to step up your game.

But if you’re a normal guy, looking to meet a normal girl, you don’t really need too many tricks.

If you see her across the room, and she sees you seeing her, she knows you like her. And if she looks at you a couple of times, (without that look of fear in her eyes) she WANTS you to go and talk to her.

She’s not going to walk to you.

When you walk over, introduce your name first. Say things that are easy for her to respond to. Save the “did you see those two girls fighting outside” opener for the club girls.

Reveal your interests, then ask about hers. If she seems to like talking to you, keep going.

Be honest with her. Tell you enjoyed talking to her, you’ve got to go, but you’d like to continue the conversation later. 

Exchange numbers by getting her to call her phone from your phone.

Then bounce.

Always keep the trail metaphor in mind. You go first, and then wait for her to follow. So long as she follows, you’re good. 

If she doesn’t? 

No big deal. There’s more where she came from.

How To Be One Who Makes Things Happen

Which One Are You?

Three Categories Of Actors

A wise man once said that there are three kinds of people in this world.

Those that make things happen.

Those that watch things happen.

And those who say, “What happened?”

Now, the funny thing is that all of us belong to all three groups at different times. Sometimes we make things happen. Sometimes we watch others make things happen. Other times we are blindsided by reality and have no clue what just happened.

Of course, how we respond in those situations will make all the difference.

You could rage and shake your fists at the gods, or you could make the best of the situation.

However, if you take a closer look at any group of people, you’ll find that certain “types” tend to be the ones that make things happen, certain “types” tend to be the ones that watch things happen, and other “types” are the kind who wander around wondering why they’re always getting crapped on.

One very popular theme in literature since the dawn of time (and a common theme in real life BAM’s like Genghis Kahn) is somebody who gets crapped on early in life, and vows to NEVER have that happen again.

Of course, how they do that will determine if they are remembered as an evil genius or a world class entrepreneur.

The bottom line is no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise, the world is going to do what the world is going to do.

How we respond will make us or break us.

You could hide in your closet, and curse the gods, or you could get in the mix and get some.

How do you do that?

It all starts with choosing what you want. This is something that you DO have absolute control over.

Next is to make the solid choice that you’ll GET whatever you want no matter WHAT.

You will operate in and on the world, take whatever it gives you, and flip it around somehow so it works in your favor.

Of course, this can be very, very tough for some people.

People who need some kind of step by step paint by numbers procedure will find this VERY discomforting.

In order to really GET SOME (whatever that means to you) you’ve got to be open to taking ANYTHING, that comes your way, and have enough faith in yourself, and your abilities, to flip it around into SOMETHING that will help you.

Kind of like those ultra ninja Aikido black belts who can easily redirect the energy in everything that comes their way.

It starts on the inside. 

If you’re worried you’ll get smothered by the continuous onslaught of reality, you will.

But if you believe you can take ANYTHING and make it YOURS, you will.

Learn how:

Belief Change

The Quest For Mythical Love

Does True Love Really Exist?

It Really DOES Exist!

What is relationship “magic?”

Is it something that ONLY comes in Disney movies, or does it happen in real life?

Now, if you’re a guy, especially a jaded guy, bear with me.

Many guys think women need to be “gamed.” Meaning you need to see them as some secret combination that will only open when you say the right words and phrases in the right order.

Sure, this is an accurate metaphor, if you want to get laid. There are certain things that women (and men) respond to. Learn them well enough, and you can get laid, just like clockwork.

But if you’re after something more, then you’ve got to go beyond “game.”

As you may know, once you get past that initial lust, you may run out of material. Then the relationship will fizzle, and she’ll wonder what happened to that guy you met.

Imagine a girl that looks absolutely gorgeous, only when she wakes up the next morning, her face looks different (because all her makeup and contacts are gone) and her body looks different (because all those constricting undergarments are now removed). Her boobs are smaller (since she’s no longer wearing a push up bra) and you see the real color of her hair.

You’d feel you’d been conned. This is precisely the danger of over relying on “game.”

She’s going to eventually wake up next to a much different guy that she went to bed with.

The REAL YOU is going to show up sooner or later.

But what if you elevated the REAL YOU so that just by acting natural, you’d be much more attractive?

Here’s something else to consider, that may take a bit of brain power for some of you.

If you were to improve your all around personality, social skills and self confidence, something pretty cool will happen.

See, when you rely on game, it can start to feel “mechanical.” Do it enough times, and you start to “expect” her to respond a certain way. Pretty soon it loses its “magic.”

But when you’re acting “natural” you don’t feel like you’re running game. You’re just talking.

AND she’s getting more and more attracted to you.

Seeing a girl get fired up because of YOU is a much different, and much better feeling that seeing a girl get fired up because of “game technology.”

It feels more natural, it feels more organic, and it generally lasts a lot longer.

So, what’s holding you back? Why don’t you ALREADY do this?

Maybe you’ve been told that “being yourself” is a lie, only for beta chumps.

Maybe gurus have been flooding the interwebs with game language for so long they’ve forgotten one thing.

Men and women have been getting together, enjoying each others company, and STAYING together for over a hundred thousand years.

Improve your inner game, your life skills, and the women you want will follow.

Learn More:

mindpersuasion.com

How To Get Science On Your Side

Science Can Solve Anything

Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist!

There’s a lot of new-agey type stuff that sounds pretty good, but also can be pretty useless.

I used to love the TV show, “X-Files,” primarily because in almost every episode, there was always both a scientific explanation, and a parapsychology explanation for what had happened.

One guy was chasing UFO’s and was always explaining things in terms of alien conspiracies.

His partner was an M.D. and was always explaining everything in terms of medical science.

Whenever it comes to things like law of attraction, personal achievement, or anything  similar, we MUST hold these ideas to the same standards.

Of course, EVERYTHING must be explained by science. Not necessarily science we can understand, but some kind of repeatable, scientific principles.

If we don’t believe in science, then we’re pretty much at the mercy of the gods of randomness.

And since the laws of physics, chemistry and biology appear to be pretty consistent, relying on randomness might not be a good idea.

On the other hand, sometimes science is so confusing that the best we can do is rely on over simplified metaphors to help us understand the underlying structure.

Unfortunately, if we get the metaphor “wrong” we may end up looking in the wrong place.

Sometimes we get stuck with a metaphor not because we think it will work, but because it sounds good, makes us feel special, and makes it seem like we don’t have to take any risks, or face any potential failure.

But as Dale Carnegie famously said, “The sure thing boat never gets too far from shore.”

This, of course, is a metaphor that describes life. If you insist in any proof or guarantee, you aren’t going to accomplish much.

Another famous “Carnegie-ism” is that “If you want the sweet fruit, you’ve got to go out on a limb.” Meaning if you are safely hugging the trunk of the tree, you won’t be able to reach very far.

Since most people are too terrified to go out on the thin branches, there’s not much within an arms reach of safety.

One of these metaphysical type statements is “When You Believe It, You’ll See It.”

What does this mean?

Now, most people think the opposite. They wait for proof, or a guarantee, and won’t believe anything unless they see it written up in the latest scientific journals.

But humans are very, very good at conning ourselves.

We see things that aren’t there, and we don’t see things that are right in front of us.

Cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias are just a couple of scientific examples that show this is true.

But think of what this means.

All those things you WISH were true CAN be true. All you’ve got to do is believe they are, THEN you will see the evidence.

Allowing YOU to get whatever you want.

Learn How:

Belief Change

How To Sort For Your Dream Girl

You're Number One!

Why Settle For Second Best?

It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees, when it comes to meeting girls and looking for Miss Right.

(Or Miss Right Now if that’s your thing.)

Long time ago I went skydiving. It was the kind that required only about five minutes of instruction before jumping out of the plane.

We had an experienced jumper strapped to our backs, which would kind of hold our hand. We got to pull the chute, but in case we blacked out or puked, he’d be there to make sure we didn’t die.

One thing the guy told me right before we jumped has stuck in my mind, as it’s very useful in many different areas.

“Don’t look at a point on the ground. You’ll fixate on it and miss everything.”

What he meant was that we were only free falling for about a minute. And if we looked way down below, and saw a house or a car or something, we’d tend to stare at it. If that happened, our ride would be over and we would have missed it.

I followed his advice and didn’t look down at all. Just out onto the horizon.

(One of the most amazing experiences of my life.)

When you’re talking to girls (or prospecting as they say in sales) it’s easy to “fixate” on one girl.

There’s a whole world of girls out there, but once you start talking to one, and she seems to like you a bit, it’s very easy to lose the big picture.

Then suddenly she’s turned from a “prospect” into the only game in town. Sink or swim. Win or lose. Live or die.

If this happens, it’s almost guaranteed you WON’T get her, unless she’s TOTALLY into you.

One thing that turns both girls AND guys off is desperation.

Texting too much, calling too much, hanging onto conversations too much.

If she’s got a medium level of attraction, this will kill it in a hurry.

Sure, there’s certain “rules,” like only text three times a week, or only call every other day, or whatever.

But if she’s your ONLY option, these rules are impossible to follow. You’ll drive yourself nuts.

The EASIEST way to make sure you don’t switch in to desperation mode is to ALWAYS BE PROSPECTING.

Meaning you should always be talking to girls, making them laugh, seeing if they’re personalities are as attractive as their faces.

And always dating them if you’re into each other enough.

AND always being open about it.

One criteria that you MUST have is that she should be into you AT LEAST as much as you are into her.

And when you’re going out with several girls, and one of them starts pressuring you for exclusivity, then it’s time to consider her.

But never before that.

This will make you more attractive, and give you much more choice, which will keep you out of the desperation mind set.

These Tools Will  Help:

mindpersuasion.com

Two Crucial Aspects Of Life

Inner Game Is Key To Everything

Inner Game vs. Outer Game

There’s always two aspects to everything.

Of course, many things  have many variables, all interdependent, and many that are way beyond conscious comprehension.

But for most things, they can be broke down into a couple of broad categories.

Like movies. Guy movies (action, aliens, horror, zombies) vs. girl movies (romance, drama, etc.)

Or if you’re talking about booze, there’s beer and wine, and then the hard stuff.

If you’re making a cake, there’s the baking part, and then the decorating part.

In music there’s tension, and release.

Human accomplishment is something that is both incredibly complicated, and also incredibly simple, based on how you look at it.

Take making more money, for example. On the outside, there’s a virtual limitless amount of skills you can learn, relationships you can build, products you can help create, sell and otherwise bring to the market.

On the inside, there’s the simple belief that no matter what happens, you’ll succeed.

Outside is filled with endless and ever changing variables.

Inside is either the worry of, “I don’t know if this will work..” vs. the thought of “Yep. I got this. No matter what.”

Once the inside is taken care of, the outside takes care of itself.

This is true no matter what field you look in. Sports, money, romance, business, building your own cult, anything.

The most fundamental component that ALL successful people have is the raw belief that they’ll be successful.

BEFORE they become successful.

Before Bill Gates became a multi-kajillionaire, he believed he could.

Before Alexander conquered much of the known world, he believed that he could.

Before you succeed at anything, you must believe that you will.

And once you believe you wil, you will.

So why limit yourself?

Why not set HUGE goals, HUGE dreams, HUGE plans for your life?

Choose whatever you want, and then set the belief.

Because once that belief is set on the inside, all that stuff on the outside will be easy.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety By Becoming The Sorter

They Pass Your Tests - Not The Other Way Around

See Beneath The Surface

Most guys are incredibly nervous when they approach girls. In fact, it can take years of practice to fully get over this.

And even guys who DO get over this, once they’re off the market for a while, their skills will go back to zero.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly tried the market, you may have felt WAY out of your league.

Why is this?

One of the reasons is all of the assumptions that guys make about girls. Since guys are hard wired to be attracted primarily to looks, we assume that if she’s cute, then every other part of her is good also.

Which means when we walk over there, we assume that SHE already passes our “tests” and it’s completely up to us to pass her tests.

This is enough to give ANYBODY the jitters, no matter WHAT it is your doing.

Luckily, the part about her looks being “good enough” is absolutely false.

And here’s a way to prove it to yourself, AND get over your approach anxiety faster than you ever could just by pushing through them.

This will take some time, but you’ll be gaining an EXTRAORDINARY amount of experience, AND decreasing your levels of anxiety significantly.

Here’s what you do.

First, come up with some deal breakers. Either pure red flags, (according to you, nobody else) or things you’d rather she didn’t have.

This must be personality traits, habits, beliefs, things that will take a little bit of conversation to get to.

Smoking, a certain religion or political affiliation, cat person (or dog person) anything that you don’t imagine your “Dream Girl” of having.

Then, simply talk to girls LONG ENOUGH to disqualify them. Don’t get ANY numbers.

After you go through ten or twenty girls, you’ll have a sudden burst of realization.

That there’s MUCH more to girls than just their looks.

And that will absolutely DESTROY any feelings of “she’s perfect and I must qualify myself to her.”

ALL without getting any rejection.

Now, it’s important to have a friendly attitude while doing this. Don’t get angry, don’t put them down (out loud or in your mind). Just talk to them long enough until you get a red flag.

Then simply disqualify them IN YOUR MIND, politely end the conversation, and walk away.

Once you leave the mindset of the desperate beggar, and enter the mindset of the sorter, it will get much, much easier.

This Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com

Are You Plagued By Hallucinations?

Create Your Own Custom Hallucinations

Why Not Hallucinate What You Want?

I used to love those 3D pictures, the kind that looked like noise at first.

Then if you stare at them the right way, a cool image appears, suddenly out of nowhere.

Some people are better at “getting it” than others. It usually took me a while.

Most of us aren’t used to looking at a flat object as if it were in three dimensions.

There’s plenty of other images that are specifically designed to “trick” the mind.

Old ladies that suddenly morph into young girls, a lamp that suddenly turns into two people about to kiss, stairs that go up in a loop, but really don’t go up at all.

One of the biggest tricks of the mind is one we play on ourselves.

We can “negatively hallucinate” something, meaning it’s right in front of us, but we can’t see it.

(Guys are particularly good at this, especially when looking for our keys).

Or we can think something is there, when there’s not. Like when somebody looks at us with a plain expression on their face, and we read WAY too much into the situation.

The trouble is that we respond not to reality itself, but our interpretation of reality.

Even if our keys are right there, since we can’t see them, we’ll keep looking, and end up being late to wherever we’re going.

We could have talked to that person, and turned their genuine neutral feelings about us into something positive, but since we imagined they were angry or judgmental or whatever, we never even held eye contact for more than a split second.

The good news it that our perception of reality is TOTALLY flexible, AND it’s TOTALLY up to us.

Do you think our keys really care if we find them or not?

Even better, that neutral person would LOVE for us to turn them into a “positive-feelings” person, so they’re actually hoping we’ll perceive them differently than we have been.

This skill is rarely talked about, let alone taught, but it exists, and learning it is perhaps the most important thing you can do.

Since there’s so much “stuff’ out there to choose from, why not choose things that support you?

Why not “imagine” people are dying for you to talk to them?

Why not “imagine” that opportunities are everywhere, just waiting to scoop them up?

Why not “imagine” that your biggest and most compelling plans in life are not only easy, but the whole reason you were put here?

All you’ve got to do is shift your mind, and you’ll see.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Mind Tricks For Massive Confidence With Girls

How To Shift From Anxiety To Confidence In No Time

Flip Your Mental Switch

Here’s a great trick that will quickly boost your confidence.

You go somewhere where there’s plenty of cute girls to flirt with.

Someplace where people are out walking around is best. When you see a cutie coming your way, make eye contact and smile at her like she’s a friend. Like you know her.

While you are doing this, purposely remember a fun time you actually had with a cute girl. Nothing physical, just a fun conversation with a friend from school or work or something.

Nine times out of ten, she’ll smile back.  Even do a few double takes when you pass each other.

This is the perfect “energy” to have when out in public.

Most guys like girls, but they don’t know how to meet girls. For most guys, meeting girls just happens. Which means it always feels out of control.

And most guys like sex, but don’t get nearly as much as they want (if any lol).

You combine these two feelings, and whenever they see a cute girl they’d LIKE to get with, it brings up all kinds of negative feelings. Lack, being out of control, feeling alone, left behind, etc.

And sometimes these feelings morph into anger at the girl.

This is a natural human trait. We want something, and we can’t get it, so we blame the world. In this case the girl.

Now, it’s pretty obvious what will happen with this mindset. You’ll be looking at a girl with a mixture of lust, frustration, desperation and perhaps even a tinge of anger.

Not the kind of energy she’s looking for in a guy.

This, of course, will make it much harder to meet girls, which will increase those feelings. And this is a very hard trap to get out of.

So you’ve got to prime the pump, so to speak.

Hence the exercise described above.

The trick is to FORCE your brain to think of a happy, carefree spontaneous conversation you had with  a girl, no matter how long ago.

Then FORCE your brain to “pretend” the girl you’re looking at is an old friend. 

These two thoughts combined will get rid of those negative feelings and emotions long enough for her to notice your energy, and flash you an honest smile.

And when a cute girl flashes you an honest smile, and holds it, and even does a double take, it feels pretty good.

Try this out whenever you’re in a funk. Try and get five to ten good, honest smiles before talking to anybody.

It will not only put you in a good mood, but it will turn that negative self sustaining loop into a positive one.

Learn More Mind Tricks:

mindpersuasion.com