Category Archives: Attraction

How To Re-Write Your Caveman Brain

Rewiring Your Brain Is Easier Than You Think

Ready For Human Brain 2.0?

I remember the first time I went bungee jumping, a long time ago.

Of course, I’ve only gone twice, but the first time was WAY different than the second time.

Even though my conscious mind was totally aware there was ZERO danger, I was still petrified.

Me and a buddy went to this amusement park, and one of the rides was bungee jumping. It was about twenty stories high, and the stairway to the top was inside the skeleton like structure.

We decided I’d go first, so my buddy watched me walk up to the top. He said I was slow, and hunched over, like I was walking to the gallows or something.

The guy at the top gave me the instructions (just stand at the edge and lean forward), and I almost passed out from fear.

But as soon as I went past the moment of no-return, something pretty amazing happened.

My fear was immediately replaced by exhilaration. Excitement. A feeling like I’d never felt before.

Pure adrenalin.

The next time I went, (a year or so later) it was much different. Since I knew what to expect, it was exciting the entire time. I walked up the stairs faster, and instead of slowly “leaning forward,” I leapt off the top platform.

Most conventional wisdom tells us we have to do something first, and then the confidence comes later.

Normally, this is true.

But normally, we’re using our brains the way they are hard wired. With the factory installed programming. Programming that was designed for a time when there were just as many critters trying to eat us as we were trying to eat them.

As you’re well aware, that’s not true any more. There’s rarely any physical danger. If you’re in a job interview, and you give the wrong answer, the guy’s not going to call in a couple of goons to beat you to a pulp.

If you walk over and talk to a pretty girl and say the wrong pick up line, she’s not going to pull out a switchblade and stab you in the eye.

But our caveman brains don’t think so. Our caveman (or cave woman) brains are still screaming bloody murder, like there’re tigers around every corner.

The good news is that with a little bit of reprogramming, and some targeted visualization, you can flip the switch on where confidence comes from.

You can get the confidence FIRST, and then take action.

Easy action.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

Be Sociable To Find Your Dream Girl

She's Not Going To Come To You!

Get Off Your Couch!

Many people feel stuck, especially when it comes to the ladies.

It’s kind of like having a job. When you’ve got a good one, everybody wants to hire you.

But when you’re unemployed, and have been for some time, nobody wants to touch you.

Same with the ladies. When you’re in a happy relationship, it seems every girl’s got eyes on you and wants to jump your bones.

But when you haven’t gotten any in a while, no female wants to be around you.

It’s easy to understand why this is. When you’re in a happy relationship, you radiate ZERO neediness. Nothing but happy, relaxed confidence. You like yourself, you like your life. You walk the Earth like everything’s groovy. Girls pick up on this, and they want some.

On the other hand, if you haven’t even touched a female since Bush was president, you radiate something different completely. Neediness, lust, desperation. Things that women absolutely HATE.

So, what do you? How do you remedy this situation? Easy.

Consider how you’d get in shape if you haven’t moved from your sofa in a couple years. First you’d start walking ten or twenty minutes every day. Then maybe a bit longer.

Then you might actually do a couple sit ups and push ups in the morning. Maybe you’d even join a gym.

Keep it up, and pretty soon your jogging a couple miles in the morning, and then hitting the gym every other night after work.

Before long, you’re in pretty decent shape.

Now, imagine if you got right off the couch and tried to run two miles. Then spent an hour in the gym. If you didn’t end up in the hospital, you’d be sore as hell the next day, and you’d likely never work out again.

See what I’m getting at?

You can get whatever you want. Money, girls, a six pack. You just gotta take it slow.

So, how do you take is slow when you’re ultimate goal is to have a sexy sweetheart to call your own?

Start talking to people. Become sociable. Talk to the old lady at the grocery store. Talk to people at work.

Pretty soon talking to people will be easier and easier. And you’ll notice that many people actually LIKE talking to you. They’ll SMILE when they see you coming.

Just keep pushing out your comfort zone very slowly, and eventually pretty girls will be among those you talk to.

And one of them might be the girl of your dreams.

Will it be easy? Probably not. But it won’t be any more difficult than walking twenty minutes every morning if the furthest you’ve ever been is your fridge.

Most guys imagine they need some kind of magic “fix” and then it will be all good with the ladies.

It doesn’t work like that. It takes time, and dedicated effort.

But just like changing from a big squishy couch potato into a solid mass of muscle, if you put in the effort, you WILL get the results.

Just as surely as the night follows day.

These Mind Tools Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com 

Why More Failure Means More Success

Time Waits For No Man

Action Is Everything

In dating they’ve got this thing called the “three second rule.”

When a guy sees a girl, he’s supposed to walk over and start a conversation within three seconds.

Now, some say this is because all girls are super confident and are always in control of their emotions, which means if they send a “signal” to a guy that it’s safe to come over, and he doesn’t, then she’ll lose interest, within three seconds.

This, of course, is utter nonsense.

One thing most guys are shocked to find out is that girls are just as clueless as guys when it comes to finding, meeting and creating relationships.

So that’s not the reason for the three second rule.

What is?

If you expand this back a bit, and consider ALL desires, then the three second rule makes more sense.

I remember a long time ago I was at this goofy real estate seminar. The instructor, (in a clever ploy to “train” the audience to take action) pulled out a hundred dollar bill and just held it out.

About one or two seconds passed by, until one person got up and ran to the front. Soon after she did, about twenty other people did the same thing.

Since she was first, she got the $100.

Everybody else that was waiting to make sure it was “safe” didn’t get squat.

(As an aside, that same guru did that a few times during this “free” seminar before the big “pitch” which meant that by then many of the attendees were “well trained” to dive right into his multi-thousand dollar course.)

The bottom line is that when you see an opportunity, it’s a good idea to take it.

Not wait around for confirmation.

Not wait for somebody to give you clear instructions

Not wait until other people take action so you know it’s safe.

Hence the three second rule.

If you could train yourself, to AUTOMATICALLY take action, without thinking, within three seconds, what would you do?

In the dating community, guys that do this are called “approach machines.”

See somebody cute, walk up and start talking BEFORE you get a chance to talk yourself out of it.

What if you could do this with ALL opportunities?

Sure, you’d strike out a bunch.

But so did Babe Ruth.

AND he also hit WAY more home runs than anybody else, at the time.

He didn’t wait for an OK or a signal from his coach before he swung.

He saw high fat one and instinctively swung with all his might.

(He also lived large off the field as well).

Would you like to do the same?

This will teach you how:

Self Confidence

Understanding The Fluidity Of Females

People Are Always Changing, Like Flowing Rivers

Can’t Step In The Same River Twice

One common mistake that men make about women is that they are somehow “fixed” in time.

The truth is that NO human is every the same, even two days in a row. You are always learning new things, discovering new skills, getting new memories in your brain.

They say the biggest problem in marriages is that women hope that men will change, and they don’t. Men hope women won’t change, and they do.

Truth is we both change, a lot.

Some guys buy into this theory that once they “get to know” a woman, that she’s not “supposed to” change.

Meaning they date her for a couple months, and expect everything to stay the same. Women do the same thing.

But when a girl likes a guy she’s NOT in a committed relationship to, she’s going to UNCONSCIUSLY be on her “best behavior.”

With guys, it’s the same thing. Only the UNCONSCIOUSLY driven “best behavior” is before the guy gets laid.

That’s why many guys have super tight game BEFORE they hit the sheets, but after it’s all over, his game crumbles.

Now, he doesn’t realize this, but she sure does. The night before he was a confident, sexy, smooth talking alpha that made her want to lose her panties.

But the next morning, he’s a big puddle of neediness. WTF just happened?

Bottom line of human nature is that when we want something, but don’t have it, we will act MUCH differently than when we have it.

Does this mean we’re doomed?

Nope.

It just means you’ve got to create more attraction than the bare minimum to get into her panties.

If you TRULY want to seduce her, in a way that she’ll want you EVEN MORE after you do the nasty, you’ve got to think long term.

Now, this be incredibly hard to fake.

Sure, most guys can get away with faking short term game. But longer than a week, your true character starts to show. And so does hers.

So not only do you need to measure her during ALL PHASES of the relationship, but you’ve got to have solid game yourself.

The easiest way to do this is to make solid game who you are. Take it out of the “game” category in your mind, and simply make it the way you live life.

Always confident. Always friendly and outgoing. Always sure of where you’re headed in life. Always ready to bail if things go south.

Never needy, never dependent on the good graces of others. Always in charge of your own life.

Do this, and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

How To Feel Confident In Any Situation

Life Is An Inside Game

It’s An Inside Game

I remember a long time ago I decided to learn the piano.

I bought a fairly cheap keyboard, and couple of “do it yourself” learning books.

And I stuck with it long enough to be able to play a few fairly complicated songs from memory.

At the same time, I didn’t really want anybody to know. If my friends and colleagues knew, they might ask me to play in front of them (or so I imagined).

Playing at home seemed fine, but the idea of playing in front of people was something I was definitely NOT interested in.

Funny how a lot of our behaviors are like that. We do great on our own, but are embarrassed as hell if we find out somebody’s watching.

If you ever get caught singing in the car, you know what I mean.

There’s a reason why that saying, “Dance like nobody’s looking” has so much power.

Something about social pressure makes us cringe.

On the other hand, if you get unexpected and positive social attention, there’s not much that feels better.

Napoleon learned a long time ago that the easiest way to generate loyalty among his troops was to praise them in front of others.

The funny thing is that if you watched two videos of two different situations, it would be hard to tell the difference between social pressure and positive social recognition.

If you’ve ever done something publicly, thought it went terrible, and then were told you did perfect, you know what I’m talking about.

Back when I was doing Toastmasters, for example, I’d give speeches. I’d think I’d failed miserably, and then people would come up afterwards and not only compliment me, but ask me for more information about the topic.

The truth is that feeling confident or not confident when doing something is more of an inside game than most of us realize.

If we imagine something is going to be hard, or we’re going to fail, we’ll feel nervous and anxious.

But if we imagine something is going to be easy and we’ll succeed, we’ll feel like we own the situation.

The good news is that both of these “hallucinations” is totally under your control.

You just have to learn how to “front run” your brain so it doesn’t slip into automatic thinking.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

How To Give Your Life Purpose

Change Your Filters For An Amazing Life

Choose Your Mission

When I was a lot younger, I used to go on “seek and destroy” missions at my local mall during Christmastime.

This was how I did my Christmas shopping. I imagined all the people I was buying for, and then tried to buy everything, in one fell swoop, in under an hour.

I know, sounds crazy.  And some of the gifts I ended up getting for people were pretty crazy.

But it was a lot of fun.

I was like the Terminator, walking quickly, my head always turning side to side scanning all the shops.

The only thing on my mind was the list of people I was buying for.

Often I would see something “cool” and then buy it, not yet knowing who I would give it to.

But they always enjoyed them. Always surprised. Always different.

On the other hand, when I’d go to the mall to watch a movie, I’d get there an hour or so earlier just to kill time.

Wander around, check people out, bring a book. Find someplace to kick back and read it for a while.

And even though I was in the same place during both situations, it seemed completely different.

One was killing time. When I was finished, I was just as bored as when I’d started. Sure, movies are fun to watch, and people are fun to watch, but afterwards, I’d always had a feeling of “OK, now what?”

But when I went seek-and-destroy shopping, I had a completely different feeling when I’d finished.

I’d be walking back to my car, lugging all kinds of bags feeling like I’d just conquered the world.

That feeling would even linger over the next few days. Anytime I’d see anything related to Christmas, I’d remember that feeling of accomplishment.

On the other hand, if I went to see a so-so movie, and then later in the week somebody would ask me what I did the previous weekend, it would take a while to conjure up the memory.

Most people spend their entire lives like this. No plans, no dreams, no goals. Just drifting from place to place, job to job, relationship to relationship.

Hoping to get something good and at the same time, hoping to stay out of trouble.

But when you’ve got some solid dreams, goals and visions, the world looks completely different.

Especially if you’ve got an internal set of filters helping you sort through all the stuff out there to help you find what you want.

All it takes is a decision.

A decision to take ownership of your life. To take responsibility for choosing what you want, and the courage to go after it.

What do you want?

Are you willing to get it?

This will help:

Belief Change

What Does Newton Know About Seduction?

If You Want Affection And Loyalty You've Got To Create Attraction

The Physics Of Attraction

Many guys approach girls and creating relationships with girls with a childhood mindset.

When we’re kids, everything we want is given to us by adults. We cry out, and they give us what we want. Usually to shut us up.

If you think about this model of the world, a lot of “adult” behavior makes a lot of sense. People want stuff “just because.” We’ve been conned into thinking that we can get something simply because it’s our “right” or we “deserve it.”

But here’s the shocker.

If whatever you want has to come from somebody else (girl related or not) they aren’t going to give you squat unless you’ve got something they want.

Even when politicians promise us the moon, they’re still using this model. They promise a bunch of stuff IN EXCHANGE for our votes.

But with so many leaders (political, religious, corporate, etc) promising us stuff, it’s easy to stay stuck in the childhood model. Where we think we just need to “express ourselves” and we’ll get some kind of “reward.”

What’s worse, is many guys fall into the “any-work-equals-reward” mindset. This is just as deadly.

For example, they tell themselves they’ve gone through college, have gotten their degree, have a decent job, and decent financial situation, so they “deserve” some kind of beautiful and loyal wife.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

No girl is going be interested in you simply because of all the “work” you’ve done on yourself.

The ONLY REASON a girl is going to become interested in you is if you get her feeling those feelings that we collectively refer to as “attraction.”

Only be creating and maintaining attraction will she give you the affection and companionship you’d like.

Even then it’s ALWAYS conditional. As soon as the attractions’s gone, so is she.

Not only do you have to BUILD IT, but you’ve got to MAINTAIN IT.

Now, many guys will scream and cry that this isn’t fair. That “back in the good old days” all you had to do was get a job and sexy loyal girls would fall from the heavens directly into your arms.

But it was really not like that.

Think of this in terms of Newton’s Second Law of Motion:

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

To put it in terms of dating, it might go like this:

“For every loyal and attractive girlfriend, there’s an equal and opposite attraction-creating boyfriend.”

It’s actually pretty simple.

You want a high quality woman? An attractive lady that will be affectionate and loyal?

Create attraction, and maintain attraction.

Learn How:

mindpersuasion.com

Mind Control For Approach Anxiety

Think Your Way Around Approach Anxiety

Ditch Your Inner Caveman

Most guys feel a certain amount of approach anxiety when even THINKING about going over and talking to a girl. 

You could be sitting there with your buddies, and they point out a group of girls that YOU should go and talk to. Just thinking about it may send you into an anxiety brain freeze.

This is perfectly natural.

The trick is to train your brain so you don’t automatically respond in your naturally programmed way.

Humans are hard wired with all kinds of automatic responses. These were helpful in our ancient days as hunters and gatherers, but they aren’t so useful any more.

For example, if you stuff your pie hole every time you had an opportunity, you’d be pretty obese. If caveman DIDN’T do this, they’d die of starvation.

Approach anxiety is another leftover instinct from our caveman days. Back in those days, there were only a couple hundred people TOTAL in our tribe. We spent our entire lives with these people.

Which meant that there were MAYBE ten or twenty girls to choose from, and ten or twenty guys who were going after those ten or twenty girls. Everybody else was either too old, too young, or already hitched.

So in those days, it was absolutely CRUCIAL that you approach correctly, or you were in deep trouble.

These days, not so much. In fact, you could walk up to ten cuties TODAY, fail miserably, and NOBODY would know.

If you tried that the caveman days you’d be one lonely dude.

So the first trick is to simply accept that EVERYBODY is hard wired to feel approach anxiety. There’s NOTHING wrong with you. It’s COMPLETELY normal.

So, how do you fix it?

Think of it like you’d think of planning  a diet. If you wanted to get a six pack, you’d decide ahead of time which kinds of food you’d eat, right? And when you’d eat, right?

So if you were walking down the street and you passed a burger joint, you’d tell yourself, with your conscious mind, “Hmm. That smells good, but it’s not on my diet plan, so I can’t eat it.”

You would overcome your irrational instincts with rational planning. To the extent you could stick to your plan, you’d get your six pack.

You can approach girls the same way.

Plan ahead of time which girls you’d like to date, just like you plan your six pack meal plan.

Figure out what kind of personalities they need to have. What kind of education, religion, politics, etc.

So when you do this, you’ll see girls and NOT KNOW if she qualifies or not.

So when you think about approaching her, you’ll be curious rather than anxious.

The first couple of times may be difficult.

But the more you do this, the more you’ll realize that not a lot of girls meet your criteria. Once you get that deep feeling from experience that “good looks aren’t enough” you’ll be home free.

Free Downloads:

mindpersuasion.com

The Secret Of Getting Girls To Fall In Love With You

How To Create Love

Is Love Possible To Engineer?

A long, long time, conversational hypnosis was invented. Some guy (a genius really) in a wheelchair needed to come up with a more effective way of hypnotizing people.

Even even though they were coming to see a hypnotist, to be hypnotized, they still were afraid. So they still had their mental shields.

Enter the Milton Model.

This is when Milton Erickson invented a new form of hypnosis that wasn’t really dependent on the client voluntarily going into hypnosis.

He would talk to them a little “strange.” Not so strange they thought they were being hypnotized. But strange enough so they still paid attention, even though most of the time they didn’t know what the heck he was talking about.

Then they would leave his office, confused, thinking maybe they’d wasted their money. Only their problems were GONE.

Poof!

Then some guys figured out how he “talked” and taught it to others. They figured it would be great for therapy. Of course, it didn’t take long after that for people to use it in sales, (to make a lot of money) and seduction (to have a lot of sex).

However, something happened along the way, and a lot of men today are very angry. They feel cheated. They feel as if they’ve discovered the “truth” about women, and they don’t like it.

And if you keep reading, you may not like what you’re about to hear either.

Sure, these patterns work great on firing up emotions. They work great in sales, because they get to the heart of the deep feelings the customer is trying to satisfy. Which means they can help salespeople create some very valuable and profitable relationships with their customers.

But picking up girls is VASTLY different than selling things to customers.

A customer walks into your shop, and they want something. They know they want something. You know they know they want something. They know you know they know they want something. (Ok, enough already!)

So you create rapport, and talk about what they want. They share why they want what they want. You build up their feelings, and attach those feelings to your product. They buy it, and go home. They are happy. You are happy.

Next time they want to buy something, they think of you. Because you made them feel happy about buying something.

Girls are different.

Girls don’t go shopping for a boyfriend or a husband. Girls like romance. (Many guys do also, but we’re terrified to admit it.)

They want it to “just happen.”

Now, with these language patterns, you can make it “just happen.”

At least in the short term.

But think of one very important thing. A girl deciding to have sex is NOT the same thing as a girl falling in love with you and wanting you to be her boyfriend.

Those feelings take a long time. She needs to see you several times. Those thoughts need to bubble up in her mind on their own. 

Mother Nature made damn sure most girls don’t fall head-over-heels in love with guys at the drop of a hat.

They are VERY HARD to create. They are much different than those “let’s have sex” feelings.

Many guys don’t get this. They think if they talk to her, build up her emotions enough to get her in between the sheets, that’s good enough.

It’s sometimes is, but usually not.

Deep feelings of love take a lot longer to create. Because they must be real, not fake.

Which means YOU must be real, and not fake. Which means you must RISK getting rejected.

Not from approaching her, but from dating her a couple months and then getting dumped.

If you want to get laid, you’re going to have to overcome approach anxiety. Once you do, talk to enough girls, and you’ll get laid.

But if you want to create a real relationships, you’re going to have to do a lot more.

It’s certainly not easy, and it’s not quick. 

But it certainly is worth it.

Essential Mind Tools:


mindpersuasion.com

How To Find High Quality Women

Searching For High Quality Women?

Criteria Are Essential

It’s easy to feel angry and frustrated if you aren’t having much success with the ladies.

Even if you are “hooking up” from time to time, it can be frustrating if they turn out to be “low quality” women.

The thing about sex is it’s not nearly as meaningless as many people like to believe. Humans have been around for a long, long time, and we wouldn’t have been as successful, compared to other animals, if we didn’t have a lot of advantages.

One of those advantages is that humans are one of the few animals that form long term pair-bonds.

To make it even more powerful, humans are the ONLY animal that employ sexually specific labor.

Meaning that back in the caveman days, both men and women looked for food. But men looked for different food (meat or protein) than women (roots, nuts, berries, etc). 

Basically men hunted, while women gathered.

This became a HUGE advantage because humans could live in a LOT more environments than all other animals.

If the men OR the women came up empty, we were still OK for a while.

So it became even MORE IMPORTANT to our deep programming to look for relationships, rather than anonymous sex, like many other primates.

One way this plays out is guys think they are looking for a one-nighter, only to find they’re having feelings for the girl after a couple rolls in the hay.

Since women are MUCH BETTER at compartmentalizing this kind of thing, if they’re going into it with ONLY a one-night-stand mindset, they’re much more likely to hold that one-night-stand mindset.

The end result is a guy who thinks he’s looking for a one-nighter ends up having feelings, when she doesn’t.

This leads to many guys thinking that all women are sluts, or low quality, or feeling “cheated” or lied to.

Now, I’m not saying that sex within hours of meeting is wrong or immoral, but it CAN make it complicated to build a solid relationship, if that’s what you’re after.

Another reason for a lot of confusion is many guys don’t have much criteria. Meaning they aren’t sure what kind of girl they’re looking for, other than a girl that likes them.

Then when they have sex, they assume all THEIR criteria is fulfilled, but the girl might think otherwise.

She might ONLY see you as some “guy she hooked up with” rather than boyfriend material.

One way to avoid this is to have some solid criteria BESIDES her physical appearance.

Then take some time to sort for this FIRST, before sleeping with her.

I know this is against what most gurus preach, which is to bang her as soon as possible, but if you consider a long term strategy of building a healthy relationship, rather than a string of heartbreaks, it may be something to consider.

Build Your Inner Game:

mindpersuasion.com