Category Archives: Belief

Break The Rules And Have Fun

Can You Do Better?

Can You Do Better?

I love haggling for prices.

Especially when there’s an expectation to haggle.

Now, most of the time, there’s a price tag and people just pay the asking price.

But you’d be surprised how much wiggle room there is.

Many places the sales person simply doesn’t have the authority to haggle, and they might feel put on the spot. 

But just to have some fun, try this out.

Next time you’re shopping for something, and there’s a salesperson standing nearby, look at the price tag, look at them, and ask, “Can you do any better?”

Chances are they’ll look confused.

This works really great if you’re in smaller shops that are staffed by the proprietor themselves.

Although there are some places this will clearly backfire. Like standing in line at your favorite fast food place at lunchtime.

But for the vast majority of things, nothing’s REALLY set in stone.

Which means if you simply ask, you may be surprised what you can get.

But if you never ask, you’ll never get.

Of course, you can give yourself a lot better chance if you ask “correctly.” If you just walked up to people on the street and asked them for money, you wouldn’t likely be successful.

But if you get to know the person, just a little bit, to find out what they wanted, it you might make your “request” a lot more “acceptable.”

Like before asking the department store salesperson if they can “do any better,” you might ask if they work on commission. Or how sales have been. Or any other benefit TO THEM for making a sale. 

Now, the point is not to get out there be a super ninja haggler, and always be asking everybody what they can give you.

But it is kind of fun to see almost every single relationship as something “to be determined” compared to something listed on a price tag, or somebody’s expectations.

Truth is most people are pretty bored. They see themselves, and everybody else fulfilling some “role” of what they are supposed to say and do.

So when you come up and “change the rules,” they’ll see you as somebody that’s more interesting than everybody else. Somebody who doesn’t necessarily need to play by the rules.

Once you start seeing your reality around you as a work in progress, one you can fully participate in and mold as you move through it, life can be a LOT more fun.

Of course, this requires you leave behind some of those old fear of “looking silly” or “calling attention to yourself.”

But that’s pretty easy to do.

See for yourself:

Emotional Freedom

Float Like A Butterfly

Float Like A Butterfly

Lighten Your Load

Many people crave a step by step method of doing something.

Just tell me how to make money and I’ll do it.

Just tell me what to say to him/her to make them like me and I’ll do it.

Just tell me what to say in an interview and I’ll do it.

Just tell me how to lose weight and I’ll do it.

The problem with this thinking is twofold. One is that humans are incredibly complex. WAY more than anybody even realizes.

Meaning that even if you were to go back in time, and follow Bill Gates around since he was a little kid, you still might not be able to reproduce his behaviors and results.

Unless you WERE him, and could see the world the way he did, and respond to opportunities that way he did, you wouldn’t get the same results.

Everybody is different. Everybody has their own unique set of skills, learning styles, and desires.

For example, many rich people only got rich because they were always DESPERATELY afraid of being poor.

I don’t know about you, but imagining some scary poverty monster chasing me my whole life doesn’t sound like a lot of fun!

Another reason is that hoping to be told “what to do” is not such a great idea is because it’s not really the best question.

The truth about you is that you came into this world ALREADY preprogrammed to LEARN ANYTHING you need to learn.

Which means you don’t need to do more stuff in order to get whatever you want, you’ve got to do less stuff.

What stuff?

Stuff like listening to and believing those self doubts every time you’ve got a good idea.

Stuff like actually believing those memories where somebody told you you COULDN’T do something.

Stuff like that silly idea the failure is bad, or giving the wrong answer means you’re stupid, or asking “stupid” questions means you’re not as smart as everybody else.

I saw a goofy commercial once where a guy pulled into a service station, and wanted to know why he was getting such poor gas mileage. The attendant looked in his trunk and saw about 300 pounds of exercise weights. 

“There’s your problem!” He said.

Eject all that junk you’ve been lugging around all this time, and you’ll feel fantastic.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

Are You Hoarding Tons Of Junk?

Throw Your Junk To The Dump!

In The Dumpster!

When I was a kid, my mom would always yell at my dad for being such a packrat.

He’d had this irrational belief that he needed to save every box that came with every thing he bought, just in case.

In the garage were TONS of empty boxes, carefully stacked.

Once I moved from a place I’d been living at for a while, to a place across town. I’d decided I was going to use the opportunity to “streamline” all my possessions.

Leading up to it, I was kind of stressed. Even a little sad. After all, I’d had all kind of junk stored up (that I hadn’t really looked at in years).

But when I started pitching it all in the garbage, it felt really, really good.

Pretty soon I was asking myself, “Why the heck did I keep all this stuff?”

I’ve always been amazed at all the people who migrate (for good) to other countries. Especially the ones who do so in a hurry. They’ve got to quickly decide what to take, and what to leave.

Unless you are forced to do this, from either moving across town or moving across the world, it’s very EASY to store up junk.

They’ve got those TV shows about “hoarders” who have TONS of stuff in their houses. So much there’s only a few trails moving from the kitchen to the toilet to their bed.

There’s that one story of the two Buddhists who were walking down some country road. They came across this gorgeous girl, stranded on one side of the river. One of them picks her up and carries her across.

About an hour later, the other (younger) guy says, “We aren’t supposed to have any contact with women.”

To which the older guy says, “Wow. I put her down way back there but you’re still carrying her!”

All of us are carrying an ENORMOUS amount of junk.

Junk that keeps us from getting what we want, doing what we want, and being who we want.

And it seems like it might be scary or sad to get rid of it.

But once you start pitching it all in the dumpster, it’s pretty fun.

Try it, you’ll see:

Emotional Freedom

Are You Sitting On A Hidden Minefield?

Ditch The Hidden Traps

Stop Tip Toeing Around

How do you respond when you hear or see a child cry, other than your own?

Many perceive it as a nuisance, especially if you’re in church or at the movies.

One interesting thing to do is when you’re out “watching people” in public, check out the reaction of others when a kid starts crying.

Most of the men will look quickly with a slight bit of annoyance.

Some of the women will look at the parent, depending on their own experience.

Maybe both.

There’s a technique called “dark energy” or “shadow energy” whereby we assume that the things about others that bother us are really because they remind us about parts of us we are unwilling or afraid to face.

A way to dig into your own negative energy is to wait until somebody bothers you.

And then instead of getting angry at them, or wishing they’d go away, ask yourself, “What is it about me that they might remind me of?”

And then pay attention to the answer. If you find a part of yourself that don’t particularly like, or aren’t very proud if, simply accept it.

Just sit with it for a while, and accept it. Don’t ignore it or change it.

Many places in the world that have seen plenty of warfare have live mines.

Meaning there’s big fields where farmers can’t farm, kids can’t play, and people can’t take shortcuts.

Since they are so expensive and time consuming to find and remove, they just put up a big fence around it with plenty of warnings.

We also have hidden “mines” within us. Things that suddenly “go off” with you least expect them.

Somebody says something, somebody looks you a certain way, and it might remind you of something far, far back in your past.

Maybe something you’d rather not face. Something you did, or something that was done to you.

The good news is that there is an easy way to get rid of those land mines from your past.

Which will give you a lot more space to play, grow and take shortcuts.

And the process can be a lot of fun.

Learn More:

Emotional Freedom

Create Instant Rapport With Everybody

Create Instant Rapport

Release Internal Resistance

It’s pretty easy to spot a couple on their first date.

At the very least, you can tell something’s a bit different.

But since you know about these things, and can dig deeper, and notice things certain people don’t.

Like how their posture is a bit less relaxed. Their facial expressions and body language show a bit more politeness.

Maybe their laughter is a bit less natural, a bit more forced. If they’re eating they pick up their food and chew it carefully.

On the other hand, when you see two people who have clearly known each other for a long time, their behavior is pretty easy to spot as well.

Eating off each other’s plates. Interrupting each other while talking. Open scowls and rolled eyes whenever appropriate.

Most people take a while to “feel comfortable” with other people.

Even if they’re not a potential client or romantic interest, we tend to “stiffen up” a bit when we’re around strangers.

Some rare people, have a gift of making EVERYBODY relaxed around them.

They walk up, and you don’t feel the need to guard your emotions, or feel any worry about offending them or pleasing them.

Something about them, their body language, facial expressions, voice tone, movements, make you feel relaxed, and at ease.

Maybe because they fully accept the world, and themselves, exactly how it is.

Maybe they’re not worried about needing to impress anybody or try to prove anything to anybody.

They know that no matter what happens, they’ll be fine.

They give off a vibe of “The only time and place I’d like to be is right here, right now.”

And they ALWAYS tend to give off that vibe. Stuck in traffic, sitting in a business meeting, on a first date, on a fiftieth date, anywhere. Everywhere.

How can YOU be that person?

The first step is to get rid of all that emotional junk that most of us have. Those secret sore spots you may be worried about hitting on accident.

Like when you’re talking to somebody, and they bring up some “taboo” subject, (at least in your mind) and suddenly you’re on full alert. 

You may have decided that these “sore spots” are there to stay, and there’s nothing you can do.

You might not even be ready to admit they’re there.

We’ve ALL got them. They are not because you’re broken, or dysfunctional. It’s merely a result of the “growing up process.”

Luckily, when you find out how easy they are to get rid of, you can let out that deep, charismatic you.

That person EVERYBODY looks forward to being around.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

How To Be Comfortable Around Anybody

Lower Your Shields

Turn Off Your Shield

It’s a very common experience to think of something to say after the fact.

Like you’re in a conversation with your friends, and somebody says something, and you don’t know how to respond.

Then later on, maybe at home or in the car, you think of witty comeback.

Or maybe you’ve had this experience.  You’ve got to give a speech. You practice at home, in front of the mirror, over and over. Then you give the speech, only you don’t remember much of it.

OK, how about this one. You’ve got a great idea in your head. You rehearse what you’re going to say.  Maybe to your boss, your partner, or your kids.

But when you say it, it doesn’t sound nearly as good. Maybe even people look at you like you’re crazy.

That can really hurt. Especially if you were fully expecting them to embrace your idea.

What gives?

Why do we sometimes have so much trouble communicating? It’s not rocket science. We’re not trying to reverse engineer Euclidian Geometry.

The reason is all have a kind of imaginary “bubble” around us. One that pops up unexpectedly.

When we’re with our close friends, it’s rarely present. We can say whatever we want. We know from our experience that they’re our close friends, so we’re not worried about rejection.

But when it’s somebody we don’t really know, AND it’s somebody important, we suddenly are very careful how we speak.

Now, this rarely happens consciously. We don’t carefully choose our words like some high level negotiator or diplomat.

But we do severely limit ourselves. Our chests constrict. Our vocal chords get a bit tighter. We speak from a slightly higher point in our diaphragms.

It’s that ancient “fight or flight” response coming to save us. Only it doesn’t know we’re not going into battle or trying to scare a tiger away from our cave.

We’re just talking to some person, who’s just like us, and we may get something good, we may not.

Think of what you could accomplish, what you could get, if you could talk to ANYBODY as naturally and easily as your close friends.

Not necessarily say the same things, but if you were as relaxed and confident. If you were not worried in the least of rejection.

Talking to your boss, giving speeches, talking to attractive people. 

Just imagine if you were as comfortable talking your boss into giving you a raise as you were convincing your friend to meet you at the corner pub!

The good news is that you can. Because all those fears and anxieties that may be subconsciously holding you back can be ejected.

With the right mental exercises, and some daily journaling, you can get rid of the for good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

What Kind Of Hills Do You Like?

Get In The Game

Get In The Game

I used to go skiing when I was a kid. I belonged to the Explorer Scouts, which was kind of like boy scouts.

But instead of merit badges and helping old ladies cross the street, we just did things like camping and hiking.

And once a year, we all went on this big ski trip to this big mountain resort. Bunch of kids crammed into a cabin, away from out parents, and only a few adults. All of us with crappy equipment that we had to rent. Great fun.

I remember two types of ski runs as a kid. One was steep and flat. One was steep with these HUGE moguls.

Moguls are like little hills, (some not so little) and are kind of put there accidentally by how skiers make a lot of quick turns going down the mountain.

Since I was never good enough to do that, I HATED moguls. I would make this HUGE zig-zags down the mountain, and moguls made that incredible difficult.

Problem was you couldn’t tell which runs had the huge moguls unless you went down the run. So I had to kind of remember which ones did and which ones didn’t.

Once we got the nerve to take the lift up to the biggest, steepest run. We all looked over the edge and said, “No Way!”

So we went down the backside. Through a bunch of trees and back around to the front.

Funny thing was that was likely the most fun we had that trip. It took us a couple hours, since we had no idea where we were going, and a lot of it was pretty flat. But it was an adventure. 

Had we not had the courage to go all the way to the top, we would never have experienced that.

The best things can happen when you least expect them. But unlike the movies, they don’t really happen “to” you, while you’re sitting around.

That’s the great dream of most of us, to be thrust into some kind of adventure without much effort on our part.

But in real life, we’ve got to take part. We’ve got to get out there and get in the mix.

Sure, sometimes we’ll come across these huge scary moguls we’ve got to get around.

Other times, we’ll look down and say “No Way!” and try to find another path.

But those “other paths” are where all the good stuff is.

Amazing things will happen when you get out there and open yourself up to whatever is waiting.

Having the courage to do so will help.

Learn More:

Emotional Freedom

How Do You Decide?

Two Skills For Ultimate Success

Two Crucial Life Skills

Most people like being told what to do.

Not all the time, of course. But whenever there’s any kind of doubt, question or uncertainty, one common response is to look around for some kind of authority.

When I visited my friend in the hospital after she had her first kid, her and her husband, both professionals, looked completely at a loss.

She looked and me and said, “I have idea what I’m supposed to do!”

If you’ve got kids of your own, you know the feeling.

This is both the best part AND the worst part about being a fully functioning adult.

One is that nobody tells you what to do, so you can do whatever you want.

But since there’s nobody telling you what to do, if you mess up, it’s all you.

This can be pretty terrifying, leaving a lot of us stuck in indecision.

Sometimes even the simplest decisions can take forever, if we’re the only ones deciding.

For many situations, having one “decision maker” is pretty efficient. I was at this small seminar once, and the instructor decided we’d order some pizzas for lunch. Just deciding what kind to get, that would satisfy everybody, took over thirty minutes!

It’s definitely a balance. A very delicate one. You’ve got to be bold enough to make the decisions that really count, and know when to step back and let somebody else do the deciding when it’s not that important, at least to you.

Those that tend to do best have two very important qualities. One is they make a decision and stick to it. They don’t waffle around and wait for everybody’s input in hopes of avoiding the dreaded failure.

They quickly weigh their options, and decide.

As the ancient Samurais said, “Every decision must be made within seven breaths.”

The second crucial skill is to fully accept the responsibility of your decisions. No blaming, no guilt, no self-punishment.

With these two skills alone, you can get very, very far in life. Because every single decision you make will give you more experience and knowledge, that will make the rest even better.

Even if you’re starting from zero, with only a vague idea of where you’re going, and how you want to get there.

Choose, take action, measure results, own them, and choose again.

Is it really that simple?

Once you get rid of all those emotional blind spots and obstacles (that EVERYBODY has), yes. It is.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

Are You Being Held Back?

Blast Away Internal Obstacles With Ease

Remove Internal Obstacles

One cool concept in sales and marketing is something called a “split test.”

Like if you have some kind of company, and you are running ads that you can measure the results of, you change something. 

Then you see which of the two variations does better.

So long as you keep doing this, you’ll keep improving how well your ads are performing.

Salespeople are fond of saying, “Always be closing,” or “Always be prospecting.” Meaning you should always be looking for new customers, or always trying to “close” or convert shoppers into buyers.

Savvy marketers, on the other hand, say things like, “Always be testing.”

Meaning you’ll never know how something will work unless you try.

Even if you’ve never sold anything, and never want to sell anything, this mindset can help.

One TED Talk I saw recently was about a woman who’d decided enough was enough, and she was going to find herself a partner.

So she “reverse engineered” all of the online dating sites, and did tons of testing. She put up a bunch of different profiles, just to see which would attract the most responses.

Then she matched the ones that did best, with the ones that were true about herself.

Then she came up with some rock solid criteria of the kind of guy she was looking for, and went to work.

Just like clockwork, she found a guy, they were perfect for each other, and they got married.

While this kinds of kills the idea of a magical romance “just happening” like it does in the movies, she’s happily married to a guy who’s happily married to her.

This is what happens when you choose your goal, and make the decision to get it no matter what.

A lot of things in life can be looked at this way.

There’s billions of people, millions of places to live and work for, clubs to belong to, spiritual methods of digging deeper into your soul.

Your job is to sort through them all until you find something, that’s perfect, for you.

Sure it may take a while. A lifetime even. But that’s half the fun!

Most people have at least three or four careers their entire lives. Learning new skills and seeing where all those opportunities will lead.

With an open mind and the ability to trust yourself, there’s not much you can’t do.

One thing that CAN stand in the way is emotional baggage. 

For example, if you were offered the PERFECT job, great money, great hours, great location, great office, great support staff, but you had to give a one hour speech every week, to a room full of strangers, would you take it?

Many people wouldn’t.

This is the trouble with emotional baggage. The more you’ve got, the less options you have.

Of course, the flip side is when you ditch your baggage, everything opens up.

EVERYTHING.

Get started:

Emotional Freedom

Own Your Life – Own Your World

Become A Leader

Have You Got This?

One of the greatest things you can say to yourself, (and mean it) is, “I got this.”

Maybe you’re sitting with your friends and something happens, and nobody knows what to do.

Then you say, “I got this,” and take care of business.

Sometimes it means you’re the one paying. Sometimes it means you’re the one speaking up for the group. Sometimes it means you’re the one that’s going to figure out what to do.

They’ve done plenty of studies about how humans interact with each other in groups. They put a bunch of strangers together, and there’s ALWAYS a person who emerges as the leader.

Whether you’re stuck on an island, or stuck in an elevator. Pretty soon, somebody is going to be the leader.

Usually this doesn’t happen like on TV. There’s no fighting, or wrestling for dominance. There’s just one guy or girl who’s got that, “I got this” vibe a little stronger than the rest.

Maybe you’ve been in that situation?

Something happens. You’re with people you don’t really know. You look around and pretty quickly assume that everybody else is waiting for somebody to tell them what to do. So you step up and say, “I got this.”

What’s funny is they take ten separate groups, and take all the “leaders” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of THEM becomes the new leader. They also take the lowest ranking “followers” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of them becomes the new leader.

The more you can say “I got this,” the more you’ll be chosen as the natural leader in more situations.

No matter WHAT you do in life, this can ONLY help you.

More money, more choices, more respect, less trouble, etc.

How do you get this ultra self-confident level of natural authority and power?

Tap into your true nature.

See, all humans come into the world with a magnificent set of skills and abilities. But most of us get them hammered out of us for all kinds of reasons. By the time we reach young adulthood, all of our genius, creativity, boldness and fearlessness has been forcefully replaced by timidity, anxiety, a need to be told what to do, and fear.

To reclaim your power, all you’ve got to do is peel back that layer of crap that’s been layered on top.

To reveal your true nature within.

Then you can show the world who you REALLY are.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom