Category Archives: Charisma

Killer X-Ray Language Vision

See What They're Thinking

See Straight Into Their Brains

A few years ago there was this famous case with some guy who’s wife disappeared.

He was a pretty good looking guy, and his wife was pretty attractive.

They were both upstanding members of their neighborhood, and everybody jumped on board to support him.

He even gave a few news conferences, asking for help.

If you’ve seen the movie, “Gone Girl,” or read the book, it was kind of like that.

Only in real life, he killed his wife. And then he became famous for seeming so innocent and “victim-like” when he was really a stone cold killer.

What gave him away?

When the cops were talking to him, he slipped up. One little mistake in his language.

See, if you’re a guy who’s wife really disappeared, you’d like hold out hope she was still alive.

That’s what humans tend to do.

Not this guy. He knew she was gone, because he was the one who ended her.

He was describing her, her activities, and he slipped up and used the past tense, instead of the present tense.

Within the tens of thousands of words he spoke on TV, and to the cops in private, that one little mistake gave him away.

After that, when the cops KNEW he did it, it was just a matter of time before he cracked.

This is the power of language.

Most people see conversational hypnosis as a means to covertly put your ideas into the heads of others.

To be sure, that’s a very good way to use these patterns. Especially if you’ve got some really good ideas you KNOW your listener will appreciate.

But it’s also a great way to pay attention to the language of others, so you can see what’s REALLY on their minds, with X-ray vision.

Now, I’m not saying you should go out and start interrogating people. 

But consider how useful this would be if you were talking to a loved one, and they were saying one thing, but thinking something else.

Maybe they were afraid to ask for something, or too shy to say “no” to something.

These patterns would help you understand what was REALLY their minds, so you could help them express themselves in the way they REALLY wanted to.

I’m sure you can imagine how you could strengthen your relationships.

That’s what happens when you start learning these patterns, and more importantly, start doing the “drills” to learn them.

You’ll soon start to see whole new world, just beneath the surface structure words people are using.

To get started, check this out:

Covert Hypnosis

Easy Ways To Skyrocket Charisma

Focus On Them, Not You

All About Your Focus

Most people think of charisma as some kind of inborn quality, like height or good looks.

If you have it you’re lucky, if you don’t, then you’re not.

Luckily, this is false. But since charisma is widely misunderstood, it’s not clear to a lot of people how to develop it.

Some people say it’s based on body language, some kind of “sexual magnetism,” or maybe some other voodoo.

But the simplest explanation is charisma is the ability to make people feel good when they are around you.

Now, granted, for some people it’s easier than others. If you’re some gorgeous super model, all you’ve got to do is look at people and smile (a REAL smile) and they’ll feel pretty good. They’ll say things like, “Wow, she really lights up a room!”

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t gorgeous super models.

So how do we normal humans create charisma? How do we make people feel good about being around us?

Give them money!

Just kidding.

The easiest is to simply use our language. Instead of talking about ourselves, and how awesome we are (or how awesome we think we are) we get them talking about THEMSELVES and whatever THEY think is awesome about themselves.

Now, if you walk up to some stranger and say, “Wow, You’re AWESOME!” they’ll think you’re some creepy network marketing goof who just escaped from the loony bin.

But when you talk to them like a normal human, but make your intention to carefully and covertly elicit things about them they enjoy, then you’re in pretty good shape.

And when you combine this with a genuine appreciation for whatever it is they are talking about, you will seem VERY charismatic.

One way to significantly fire this up is to use something called “linguistic presuppositions.”

These are pretty cool language structures that assume certain things are true. Salespeople use them to presuppose things about their products or services. Like they’re popular, worth the money, last a long time, better than the competition, etc.

But when YOU use them to presuppose good things about the person you are talking to, you’ll take your charisma to a very rare level of magnetism.

They won’t know exactly what it is about you, but they’ll LOVE being around you.

To learn how, check this out:

Covert Hypnosis

What Makes A Natural A Natural?

What's The Difference Between Cause and Effect?

Cause vs. Effect

When guys that are naturals easily pick up girls, what’s the driving force? What’s the main ingredient? If you were to reverse engineer the process, which would you think was the most important?

His clothes? His language? His use of humor? His money? The angle at which he approaches her? 

If this is all you were focused on, you’d be missing the big picture. And the main ingredient.

It helps to understand the idea of cause and effect. This is something we all know about, but often times we misunderstand which is which.

We see two things happening, one right after the other. And we naturally assume that which happened first is causing that which happened second. This is a common conclusion, and it’s often very wrong.

Sure, it helped us out back when we were cavemen, but not so much any more. Most things that happen in our modern world are way to complex to be put into simple, cause and effect relationships.

Now, consider the language a natural uses. Is it a cause or an effect? It’s an effect of his inner state. If his inner state is relaxed and confident, he’s going to choose certain words and phrases over certain other words and phrases. He won’t be afraid of telling her certain jokes, or making certain remarks.

Now consider his language and her natural feelings of attraction. If her feelings of attraction are an effect, what is the cause? Most people assume it’s his language. If they copy his language, they’ll get the same effect, right?

Not so fast.

What’s likely the cause of her feelings of attraction is a mixture of his internal state, AND his exterior behavior. How much of each? Most of it comes from his internal state. It’s really impossible to say how much, since these things are always in flux.

But it’s safe to say that the majority of the cause is his internal state.

Which means if you copy his external behavior EXACTLY, you’re still missing a huge piece of the puzzle. Which means you won’t create nearly as much attraction in as many girls as you’d like.

But with an internal state much like his, the external behavior (which is an effect of the internal state) would take care of itself.

So if you want to get the results of a natural, you’ve got to reproduce the internal state of a natural. Somebody who is confident. Somebody who feels comfortable in all social situations. Somebody who doesn’t put too much attachment to any particular outcome.

If you can do that, EVERYTHING in life will become easier. Not just talking to girls.

How To Master Both Sides Of Language

Become A Natural Persuader

Powers Of Persuasion

What’s the purpose of language?

Most people assume it’s just to convey information. Like handing somebody the sports page, or giving directions to a lost stranger.

However, many psychologists believe that the purpose of language is really persuasion.

We’ve got some idea in our heads, and we need to get that idea out of our heads, and into the heads of others.

We use language as a tool to do that. To the extent we can describe our ideas accurately and specifically enough, in a way that other people can understand, we can move those ideas out of our brains and into the brains of others.

But in reality, that’s only half the battle. What we REALLY want is for the other person to DO something.

Even if it’s something as simple as laughing at our corny jokes.

We’re really after BEHAVIOR, and our language is a tool to get that.

You call your buddy and you want to convince him to come over and play video games.

You walk up to that guy or girl and you want him or her to take an interest in you.

You talk to your boss and you want him to give you more money.

You talk to your spouse and you want him to do the dishes, or change the channel.

Whenever we do this, we are combining the STRUCTURE of our language, with the idea itself, or the content.

Now, if you’ve got some really good content (the idea you are trying to convey) you don’t need to worry about structure (how you actually say it).

If your neighborhood bar is selling beers for only five cents until midnight, you don’t need to do any persuading.

You text your buddies, saying “Beer’s only $.05 till midnight at X bar,” and that’s all you need.

This is when the message sells itself.

Other times, it’s not so easy. Just think if you could text your boss, “I need more money,” and that’d be that!

Whenever the idea, or the behavior you’re after isn’t going to happen just because of your idea, then you need to do some persuading.

But here’s the good news.

With even a normal, every day idea (“lets play video games,” “I’d like your phone number,” “I’d like a raise,”) put inside of some powerful STRUCTURE, it can become the most compelling idea there is.

Meaning whomever you deliver it to will eagerly do whatever you want.

Now, this DOES take practice, but once you build up this skill, you’ll have some ultra ninja verbal technology most people don’t even know exist.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis

Are You Frustrated By Your Jigsaw Puzzle?

Understand The Deep Structure

How To Practice Deep Structure

Sometimes you can tell a lot more about what’s unsaid, than what IS said.

Or HOW it is said.

It’s been said that it’s not the notes that make the music, but the spaces in between.

Language is the same way.

Long ago, Chomsky discovered the difference between “surface structure” and “deep structure.”

Now, this was kind of misinterpreted, and applied in places where it didn’t really belong. They even changed the names to “d-structure” and “s-structure” to avoid confusion.

But it doesn’t take away from the idea that there’s the words we say on top, and the meaning we are trying to represent with those words.

Even if you’ve got some brilliant ideas, you’ve got to get them out of your head, through that very small “language filter” and into the heads of others so they not only understand your ideas, but see the value in them.

If you’ve ever thought of something brilliant to say, only to spit out a bunch of jumbled word salad, then you know this isn’t easy.

If you told your friends you were studying “language” they would assume you were studying for a trip to a foreign country, or some class.

If you told them you were studying English, they’d think you were nuts.

Which is why when you DO make it a point to “practice” how you use your words, you’ll have a HUGE advantage over everybody else.

The trick is to first get them talking about what they want, the things they like. Then take your message, WHATEVER it is, and phrase in a way that’s a perfect fit for their brain.

If you’ve ever been in sales, you know it’s a numbers game. Or at least that’s what they tell us. Sure, if you spit out the same memorized pitch to every potential customer, you DO have to rely on numbers.

Kind of like having ONE jigsaw puzzle piece and trying to find a “natural fit.”

But if you take the time to not only elicit what’s important to your customers (or friends or potential lovers) AND structure your communication so they’ll hear it based on what’s important to THEM, then you’ll be in pretty good shape.

Meaning you can take your jigsaw puzzle piece and change it however you want, so it will fit wherever you want.

To learn how to do this, check this out:

Conversational Hypnosis

Who Controls Your Life’s Meaning?

Are You Relying On Pre-Defined Meanings?

How To Define Your Own

If somebody gives you an egg, what does it mean?

Naturally, it depends on the context. If you’re making a cake, it means you’re one step closer to eating something sweet.

If you’re in the middle of an egg fight, it’s time to throw it at the enemy.

If you’re a high school hooligan, and you’re in the middle of vandalizing a “friend’s” house, it means something completely different.

What if somebody hands you a iron bar? Does it mean you can finally escape from prison, or they’re helping you change a tire?

What if somebody hands you a stack of money? Does it mean you’re on easy street, or now you’re in debt to the devil?

Very little of what happens to us has any meaning that is absolutely set in stone.

There is a LOT more flexibility than most of us realize.

Of course, if trying to “buck the trend” makes your brain hurt, and you’d rather be told what things mean, so you can get back to your bag of Cheetos and TV shows, then this won’t make much sense.

But I suspect you’re not the Cheetos eating, TV watching couch blob like most people these days.

You suspect there’s much more to life than simply taking what “they” give you.

You want more. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.

And you know there IS more.

There’s plenty of sappy statements that describe the ability to look out into the world and make it mean what you want it to.

But there are scarce few who actually make it a habit of doing that.

Most people are desperate for somebody to “tell them what it means.”

Other people dare to wonder, “Hmm, I wonder what meanings I’ll discover today.”

What about you?

Are you ready to realize that the meaning of every single situation really IS up for grabs?

Unless you’re taking a math of physics test, you can “play around” with meanings all you want.

In fact, society is ruled by those who control not events, but the meaning of events.

And you can do the same.

Maybe not rule the world, but you can certainly rule YOUR world.

Just figure out what you want in life, and see how easily you can mold situations to fall in line.

And instead of seeing the world with scary situations that may end badly (as most people do), you’ll see situations as stepping stones to your inevitable success.

Is Game Getting In The Way?

Simpler May Be Better

Sometimes Less Is More

There’s a belief that without any kind of structured “game” then guys would be helpless.

Meaning that unless there were guys teaching other guys how to talk to girls, date girls and hopefully get laid with girls, then it would otherwise never happen.

Now, there’s a few things wrong with this theory. To be sure, it does indeed help to know a little bit of what to say. And it helps A LOT to have a group of guys who have been there to share your experiences with, so you can do better next time.

But often times, when guys talk about “game” they are talking way beyond the basics of mutual male support.

Firstly, lets consider guys a hundred years ago. Obviously, they got laid, as there are many more people here than now than there were then. And they generally stayed in long lasting relationships, as the divorce rates back then were much lower than they are now.

And many guys will point to this as the very reason we need game. Girls are so low quality these days, they’ll say, that guys need some kind of super ninja tactics.

But that may be making the problem worse.

Now, let’s define the problem as not being able to meet quality girls for quality relationships.

How does game help this? Generally speaking, any kind game is only a short term strategy. It’s very, very hard to employ any kind of social technology over the long term.

Even politicians know this. That’s why they are always super vague when they speak. They know that if they are specific on any particular issue, they’ll likely contradict themselves later on.

So if you’re using any kind of technology to get girls interested in you, it’s definitely going to work in the short term.

But short term flings are made from much different ingredients than long term relationships.

Short term flings are based on short term interests. They necessarily overlook elements of compatibility and mutually shared experiences.

On the other hand, long term relationships are based on mutual physical interest, but only as an opening ingredient.

For any person to commit to another person, think of what’s involved. A lot of time, money, energy, and most importantly, opportunity cost.

For every hour you’re expecting that other person to spend with you, they CAN’T spend it doing anything else.

So you’re basically asking them to decide that the time they spend with you is the very BEST choice they can make.

Now, think about this. For anybody to spend time with somebody, at expense of all else, they’d better be getting their needs met. They better be with somebody that shares a lot of their interests. They better be with somebody that is got the same basic world views and life plans.

Otherwise, you’re asking for somebody without any world views, without any life plans, and without any idea of what they want. Somebody that will voluntarily chuck everything just to be with you.

Sure, game works in the short term. But it may be keeping you from finding that special lady that will only show her true self to you over a natural course of time. Without the social manipulation of any kind of game.

Something to consider.

Are You Willing To Pay The Costs?

Everything Comes With Costs - Are You Willing to Pay Them?

Everything Has A Price

Here’s a surefire way to get a girlfriend, if that’s what you want.

Now before we get started, many people claim they want something, when they really don’t. Or what they say they want is not really what they want. For example, most anybody on the street would say that want a million dollars. But that’s not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that they want a million dollars without taking any risks, putting themselves in any uncomfortable situations, or doing anything that might make them look foolish.

Ask a bunch of people if they were willing to spend three hours a day on side projects. Taking away from their TV time and socializing time. Doing things that would bring them disdain from friends and family, for three years and THEN get a million dollars. Ask this and most of them would laugh and walk away.

Same with guys that claim they want a girlfriend. Sure if their dream girl showed up on their doorstep one night, and asked if she could come in, they’d welcome her with open arms.

Of course, that only happens in fantasy lands. If you asked the question another way, you’d get a different answer.

Like this:

Would you be willing to talk to ten girls day, and ask for their phone number at the end of the conversation?

Would be willing to date at least one or two of THOSE girls a week, and disqualify those that don’t meet your criteria?

Would you be willing to ALWAYS be juggling two or three girls that you’ve dated more than once, yet aren’t in a committed relationship with yet?

Would you be willing to do this for ONE YEAR before you found that one special lady?

Most guys would run for the hills if that’s what they thought was required.

In fact, a lot of guys that have voluntarily removed themselves from the dating pool claim it’s because there are no quality women, or the game is stacked against men, or whatever.

But in reality, going through the above is a lot of work. Work most guys are simply not willing to put in.

They’d rather live in an imaginary “good old days” when girls just feel from the sky onto your arm.

But the cold harsh truth of economics will always prevail. Specifically the element of cost.

You can get whatever you want, so long as you are willing to pay the cost.

Most guys aren’t willing to pay the cost.

Are you?

If you are, then you can have any girl you want.

It’s not easy. But it is worth it.

Super Size Your Language Skills

Word Power

Practice The Obvious

“Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face, and I’ll bed the Queen of France.”

So says Voltaire.

Now, I don’t know if you’re interested in seducing kings or queens, but this perfectly describes the power of language.

When most of us speak, we have a bunch of half baked ideas, and then spit out a bunch of haphazardly chosen words that we hope will accurately describe those jumbled ideas in our heads.

Now, you CAN get lucky. People can look at you as if you’re the biggest brained genius since Beethoven.

On the other hand, you may get some puzzled looks,

“Wait, what?”

The truth is that because language is natural, we assume it’s not something we need to practice.

I mean, we don’t practice walking, or eating, or taking a dump. We just do it.

But if we only “just do it” when using language, we’re missing a HUGE amount of opportunity.

If you take just a tad bit longer to formulate those ideas, and spend a few extra moments of brainpower formulating your words instead of just “spitting them out,” you’ll get a LOT better response from whomever you’re talking to.

Now, some people assume there’s a bunch of magic words or combinations that work anywhere any time, on anybody.

But in reality, any kind of language technology is MUCH more like martial arts.

You learn a bunch of individual moves, and maybe a few combinations.

But the REAL practice comes when you use them in their natural habitat.

You can only get so far by shadow boxing. If you want to get to the big leagues (whatever that means for you) you’ve got to put on some gloves and mix it up a bit.

That means not only learning these patterns, but practicing them in real life conversations.

The good news is that this is a LOT easier than you think.

If you’d like to brush up on these patterns, I’ve just released a video training course that goes over the most powerful patterns.

Check it out:

Covert Hypnosis

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Picture

Economics Of Seduction

There are two aspects meeting and dating quality women that are absolutely essential to understand. Without these, you won’t get very far, and you’ll end cursing the gods of randomness.

Of course, nothing is random, despite the plethora of metaphors indicating otherwise.

What makes this even more difficult, is that both of these elements are operating unconsciously, in everybody. So it could very well be that yours are messed up and you don’t even know it.

The trick is to elevate them to the conscious level, make sure everything’s in good working order, and then drop them back down to the unconscious level, so you can get back to having fun.

The first is criteria. You’ve got to know what you want in a woman. You’ve also got to know what you don’t want. Most guys have the first one, but not the second one. And even then it’s pretty basic. Like she’s got to be hot, and she’s got to like him.

However, as you well know, super hot girls can also be super crazy girls. If your only criteria is how she looks, you may be in for some trouble. So you’ll need to put in some time to figure out what you want.

The next idea to consider is your own exchange value. Now, most guys think that just because they’ve read a few articles about game online, that they are super bomb alphas and deserve the hottest girls on planet Earth.

Generally, that’s not the case.

The harsh truth is that most PEOPLE (girls and guys) severely overestimate their value.

Think of it this way. Do you think quality girls are hard to find? Or, if you’re a woman, do you think quality men are hard to find?

Well consider this harsh slap of truth to the face.

If YOU were high quality, high quality partners wouldn’t be hard to find.

Think of it this way. If you went down to your local flea market, with a couple grand stuffed in your pockets, would you have any trouble finding good things to buy? Nope.

On the other hand, if all you had were a couple of nickels, you’d complain that there was NOTHING of value there. That it was all over-priced garbage.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re having trouble finding quality mates, take a good hard look in the mirror.

How can you improve yourself? Develop social skills. Improve confidence, let those “tests” easily roll off your back without worrying about them. Have some faith in yourself, and in your life.

Refine your criteria, and refine what you’ve got to offer, and you’ll be fine.