Category Archives: Charisma

Be Sociable To Find Your Dream Girl

She's Not Going To Come To You!

Get Off Your Couch!

Many people feel stuck, especially when it comes to the ladies.

It’s kind of like having a job. When you’ve got a good one, everybody wants to hire you.

But when you’re unemployed, and have been for some time, nobody wants to touch you.

Same with the ladies. When you’re in a happy relationship, it seems every girl’s got eyes on you and wants to jump your bones.

But when you haven’t gotten any in a while, no female wants to be around you.

It’s easy to understand why this is. When you’re in a happy relationship, you radiate ZERO neediness. Nothing but happy, relaxed confidence. You like yourself, you like your life. You walk the Earth like everything’s groovy. Girls pick up on this, and they want some.

On the other hand, if you haven’t even touched a female since Bush was president, you radiate something different completely. Neediness, lust, desperation. Things that women absolutely HATE.

So, what do you? How do you remedy this situation? Easy.

Consider how you’d get in shape if you haven’t moved from your sofa in a couple years. First you’d start walking ten or twenty minutes every day. Then maybe a bit longer.

Then you might actually do a couple sit ups and push ups in the morning. Maybe you’d even join a gym.

Keep it up, and pretty soon your jogging a couple miles in the morning, and then hitting the gym every other night after work.

Before long, you’re in pretty decent shape.

Now, imagine if you got right off the couch and tried to run two miles. Then spent an hour in the gym. If you didn’t end up in the hospital, you’d be sore as hell the next day, and you’d likely never work out again.

See what I’m getting at?

You can get whatever you want. Money, girls, a six pack. You just gotta take it slow.

So, how do you take is slow when you’re ultimate goal is to have a sexy sweetheart to call your own?

Start talking to people. Become sociable. Talk to the old lady at the grocery store. Talk to people at work.

Pretty soon talking to people will be easier and easier. And you’ll notice that many people actually LIKE talking to you. They’ll SMILE when they see you coming.

Just keep pushing out your comfort zone very slowly, and eventually pretty girls will be among those you talk to.

And one of them might be the girl of your dreams.

Will it be easy? Probably not. But it won’t be any more difficult than walking twenty minutes every morning if the furthest you’ve ever been is your fridge.

Most guys imagine they need some kind of magic “fix” and then it will be all good with the ladies.

It doesn’t work like that. It takes time, and dedicated effort.

But just like changing from a big squishy couch potato into a solid mass of muscle, if you put in the effort, you WILL get the results.

Just as surely as the night follows day.

These Mind Tools Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com 

Understanding The Fluidity Of Females

People Are Always Changing, Like Flowing Rivers

Can’t Step In The Same River Twice

One common mistake that men make about women is that they are somehow “fixed” in time.

The truth is that NO human is every the same, even two days in a row. You are always learning new things, discovering new skills, getting new memories in your brain.

They say the biggest problem in marriages is that women hope that men will change, and they don’t. Men hope women won’t change, and they do.

Truth is we both change, a lot.

Some guys buy into this theory that once they “get to know” a woman, that she’s not “supposed to” change.

Meaning they date her for a couple months, and expect everything to stay the same. Women do the same thing.

But when a girl likes a guy she’s NOT in a committed relationship to, she’s going to UNCONSCIUSLY be on her “best behavior.”

With guys, it’s the same thing. Only the UNCONSCIOUSLY driven “best behavior” is before the guy gets laid.

That’s why many guys have super tight game BEFORE they hit the sheets, but after it’s all over, his game crumbles.

Now, he doesn’t realize this, but she sure does. The night before he was a confident, sexy, smooth talking alpha that made her want to lose her panties.

But the next morning, he’s a big puddle of neediness. WTF just happened?

Bottom line of human nature is that when we want something, but don’t have it, we will act MUCH differently than when we have it.

Does this mean we’re doomed?

Nope.

It just means you’ve got to create more attraction than the bare minimum to get into her panties.

If you TRULY want to seduce her, in a way that she’ll want you EVEN MORE after you do the nasty, you’ve got to think long term.

Now, this be incredibly hard to fake.

Sure, most guys can get away with faking short term game. But longer than a week, your true character starts to show. And so does hers.

So not only do you need to measure her during ALL PHASES of the relationship, but you’ve got to have solid game yourself.

The easiest way to do this is to make solid game who you are. Take it out of the “game” category in your mind, and simply make it the way you live life.

Always confident. Always friendly and outgoing. Always sure of where you’re headed in life. Always ready to bail if things go south.

Never needy, never dependent on the good graces of others. Always in charge of your own life.

Do this, and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

How To Feel Confident In Any Situation

Life Is An Inside Game

It’s An Inside Game

I remember a long time ago I decided to learn the piano.

I bought a fairly cheap keyboard, and couple of “do it yourself” learning books.

And I stuck with it long enough to be able to play a few fairly complicated songs from memory.

At the same time, I didn’t really want anybody to know. If my friends and colleagues knew, they might ask me to play in front of them (or so I imagined).

Playing at home seemed fine, but the idea of playing in front of people was something I was definitely NOT interested in.

Funny how a lot of our behaviors are like that. We do great on our own, but are embarrassed as hell if we find out somebody’s watching.

If you ever get caught singing in the car, you know what I mean.

There’s a reason why that saying, “Dance like nobody’s looking” has so much power.

Something about social pressure makes us cringe.

On the other hand, if you get unexpected and positive social attention, there’s not much that feels better.

Napoleon learned a long time ago that the easiest way to generate loyalty among his troops was to praise them in front of others.

The funny thing is that if you watched two videos of two different situations, it would be hard to tell the difference between social pressure and positive social recognition.

If you’ve ever done something publicly, thought it went terrible, and then were told you did perfect, you know what I’m talking about.

Back when I was doing Toastmasters, for example, I’d give speeches. I’d think I’d failed miserably, and then people would come up afterwards and not only compliment me, but ask me for more information about the topic.

The truth is that feeling confident or not confident when doing something is more of an inside game than most of us realize.

If we imagine something is going to be hard, or we’re going to fail, we’ll feel nervous and anxious.

But if we imagine something is going to be easy and we’ll succeed, we’ll feel like we own the situation.

The good news is that both of these “hallucinations” is totally under your control.

You just have to learn how to “front run” your brain so it doesn’t slip into automatic thinking.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

What Does Newton Know About Seduction?

If You Want Affection And Loyalty You've Got To Create Attraction

The Physics Of Attraction

Many guys approach girls and creating relationships with girls with a childhood mindset.

When we’re kids, everything we want is given to us by adults. We cry out, and they give us what we want. Usually to shut us up.

If you think about this model of the world, a lot of “adult” behavior makes a lot of sense. People want stuff “just because.” We’ve been conned into thinking that we can get something simply because it’s our “right” or we “deserve it.”

But here’s the shocker.

If whatever you want has to come from somebody else (girl related or not) they aren’t going to give you squat unless you’ve got something they want.

Even when politicians promise us the moon, they’re still using this model. They promise a bunch of stuff IN EXCHANGE for our votes.

But with so many leaders (political, religious, corporate, etc) promising us stuff, it’s easy to stay stuck in the childhood model. Where we think we just need to “express ourselves” and we’ll get some kind of “reward.”

What’s worse, is many guys fall into the “any-work-equals-reward” mindset. This is just as deadly.

For example, they tell themselves they’ve gone through college, have gotten their degree, have a decent job, and decent financial situation, so they “deserve” some kind of beautiful and loyal wife.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

No girl is going be interested in you simply because of all the “work” you’ve done on yourself.

The ONLY REASON a girl is going to become interested in you is if you get her feeling those feelings that we collectively refer to as “attraction.”

Only be creating and maintaining attraction will she give you the affection and companionship you’d like.

Even then it’s ALWAYS conditional. As soon as the attractions’s gone, so is she.

Not only do you have to BUILD IT, but you’ve got to MAINTAIN IT.

Now, many guys will scream and cry that this isn’t fair. That “back in the good old days” all you had to do was get a job and sexy loyal girls would fall from the heavens directly into your arms.

But it was really not like that.

Think of this in terms of Newton’s Second Law of Motion:

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

To put it in terms of dating, it might go like this:

“For every loyal and attractive girlfriend, there’s an equal and opposite attraction-creating boyfriend.”

It’s actually pretty simple.

You want a high quality woman? An attractive lady that will be affectionate and loyal?

Create attraction, and maintain attraction.

Learn How:

mindpersuasion.com

Mind Control For Approach Anxiety

Think Your Way Around Approach Anxiety

Ditch Your Inner Caveman

Most guys feel a certain amount of approach anxiety when even THINKING about going over and talking to a girl. 

You could be sitting there with your buddies, and they point out a group of girls that YOU should go and talk to. Just thinking about it may send you into an anxiety brain freeze.

This is perfectly natural.

The trick is to train your brain so you don’t automatically respond in your naturally programmed way.

Humans are hard wired with all kinds of automatic responses. These were helpful in our ancient days as hunters and gatherers, but they aren’t so useful any more.

For example, if you stuff your pie hole every time you had an opportunity, you’d be pretty obese. If caveman DIDN’T do this, they’d die of starvation.

Approach anxiety is another leftover instinct from our caveman days. Back in those days, there were only a couple hundred people TOTAL in our tribe. We spent our entire lives with these people.

Which meant that there were MAYBE ten or twenty girls to choose from, and ten or twenty guys who were going after those ten or twenty girls. Everybody else was either too old, too young, or already hitched.

So in those days, it was absolutely CRUCIAL that you approach correctly, or you were in deep trouble.

These days, not so much. In fact, you could walk up to ten cuties TODAY, fail miserably, and NOBODY would know.

If you tried that the caveman days you’d be one lonely dude.

So the first trick is to simply accept that EVERYBODY is hard wired to feel approach anxiety. There’s NOTHING wrong with you. It’s COMPLETELY normal.

So, how do you fix it?

Think of it like you’d think of planning  a diet. If you wanted to get a six pack, you’d decide ahead of time which kinds of food you’d eat, right? And when you’d eat, right?

So if you were walking down the street and you passed a burger joint, you’d tell yourself, with your conscious mind, “Hmm. That smells good, but it’s not on my diet plan, so I can’t eat it.”

You would overcome your irrational instincts with rational planning. To the extent you could stick to your plan, you’d get your six pack.

You can approach girls the same way.

Plan ahead of time which girls you’d like to date, just like you plan your six pack meal plan.

Figure out what kind of personalities they need to have. What kind of education, religion, politics, etc.

So when you do this, you’ll see girls and NOT KNOW if she qualifies or not.

So when you think about approaching her, you’ll be curious rather than anxious.

The first couple of times may be difficult.

But the more you do this, the more you’ll realize that not a lot of girls meet your criteria. Once you get that deep feeling from experience that “good looks aren’t enough” you’ll be home free.

Free Downloads:

mindpersuasion.com

Easy First Conversation Techniques With Women

Easy Peasy Cherry Squeezy

Easier Than You Think

What’s better, to chase women, or to get women to chase you?

In reality, you need a mix of the two. If you try to get women to do EVERYTHING, you’re going to be lonely.

Go to any club and you’ll plenty of guys hugging the walls waiting for the girls to make a move.

On the other hand, if you are always pushing forward no matter WHAT, she’s going to be put off.

The trick is to first assert yourself, then pull back a little, and make sure she follows.

This can be physical, or conversational, or even attention wise.

But make no mistake, get used to the idea that you’re going to have to make the first approach.

You’re going to have to get the conversation started. You’re going to have to assume the authority position and make it easy for her to talk to. You are going to have to take the initial risks.

Then you pull back, and see if she’s interested enough to follow you.

Nothing dramatic, just small “tests” to see if she’s interested.

Of course, the most basic test is to simply ask for her number.  If she gives it to right away with a smile on her face, you’re doing pretty good.

But as you know, many girls will give our their numbers without really being interested. They aren’t being mean or deceptive, it’s just VERY hard sometimes to say “no.”

So if you’re the type that makes it a point to collect tons of numbers, you realize it’s a “numbers” game.

But you CAN tell whether or not she’s into you or not BEFORE you ask for the number, if you know what to look for.

Does she carry her half of the conversation? Does she offer up “free information” or do you feel like you are pulling teeth?

If you touch her lightly on the forearm, does she pull her arm back in disgust, or does she seem to warm up to you slightly, or even reciprocate within a few moments? Are here eyes wandering around the place while you’re talking to her or is she looking at you most of the time?

These are all fantastic signs that you’re doing well with her. When this happens, don’t draw it out.  She’ll never say, “Let me give you my number so you can ask me out!”

It’s your job to approach, it’s your job to “read the air” and determine if she’s into you, AND it’s your job to get her number and get out before you blow it.

A lot to remember, to be sure.

But one thing that will make it easier if you think of EVERY SINGLE GIRL you talk to ask practice.

Only by her showing significant and continued interest in you does she move from the “practice” to “potential relationship” category in your mind.

Keep this attitude and you’ll go far!

Why You’re NOT Broken

You Are Perfect

You And The World Are Perfect

Once upon a time, you had the world at your fingertips.

Perhaps you can remember now, what it’s like to dream big, and expect the dream to come true.

Big plans, goals, visions.

Of course, they are still there. If you take the time to reawaken them, you will.

They are just as strong now as they ever were.

It’s not that they weakened, or diminished in value. Only they were covered up.

By fears, worries, anxieties. A layer of protection that kept you safe.

Or you thought kept you safe.

Stuff you accepted from others. Stuff you thought you needed, but not any more.

However, you’re still carrying around a bunch of junk. A layer of gunk between the real you, and the world outside.

That’s why it’s hard to express yourself the way you really want.

That’s why it’s hard for others to see the real you, and appreciate your real value.

Most people don’t know this layer of gunk exists.

Some blame the world, some blame themselves.

If they only change the world, things will be better. Or if they only “fix” themselves, things will be better.

Of course, you can’t change the world. The world does what the world does. A huge evolving juggernaut of ever expanding reality that relentlessly moves forward.

You don’t need to change yourself, because you aren’t broken.

And there really is no “you” anyhow. Not that you’re a hallucination or anything. But the “you” is really ALWAYS changing and evolving and growing and learning.

Any definition of “you” is obsolete by the time you even think of the words.

How can you “fix” something that never stands still?

The ONLY thing that needs changing is that layer of gunk between you and the world.

That layer of gunk that was put there by well meaning but misinformed adults.

That layer of gunk you’re still carrying around.

Take in a deep breath, and blast away that junk once and for all.

Let loose your brilliance. Let in the world.

This will help:

Belief Change

How To Be One Who Makes Things Happen

Which One Are You?

Three Categories Of Actors

A wise man once said that there are three kinds of people in this world.

Those that make things happen.

Those that watch things happen.

And those who say, “What happened?”

Now, the funny thing is that all of us belong to all three groups at different times. Sometimes we make things happen. Sometimes we watch others make things happen. Other times we are blindsided by reality and have no clue what just happened.

Of course, how we respond in those situations will make all the difference.

You could rage and shake your fists at the gods, or you could make the best of the situation.

However, if you take a closer look at any group of people, you’ll find that certain “types” tend to be the ones that make things happen, certain “types” tend to be the ones that watch things happen, and other “types” are the kind who wander around wondering why they’re always getting crapped on.

One very popular theme in literature since the dawn of time (and a common theme in real life BAM’s like Genghis Kahn) is somebody who gets crapped on early in life, and vows to NEVER have that happen again.

Of course, how they do that will determine if they are remembered as an evil genius or a world class entrepreneur.

The bottom line is no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise, the world is going to do what the world is going to do.

How we respond will make us or break us.

You could hide in your closet, and curse the gods, or you could get in the mix and get some.

How do you do that?

It all starts with choosing what you want. This is something that you DO have absolute control over.

Next is to make the solid choice that you’ll GET whatever you want no matter WHAT.

You will operate in and on the world, take whatever it gives you, and flip it around somehow so it works in your favor.

Of course, this can be very, very tough for some people.

People who need some kind of step by step paint by numbers procedure will find this VERY discomforting.

In order to really GET SOME (whatever that means to you) you’ve got to be open to taking ANYTHING, that comes your way, and have enough faith in yourself, and your abilities, to flip it around into SOMETHING that will help you.

Kind of like those ultra ninja Aikido black belts who can easily redirect the energy in everything that comes their way.

It starts on the inside. 

If you’re worried you’ll get smothered by the continuous onslaught of reality, you will.

But if you believe you can take ANYTHING and make it YOURS, you will.

Learn how:

Belief Change

Two Crucial Aspects Of Life

Inner Game Is Key To Everything

Inner Game vs. Outer Game

There’s always two aspects to everything.

Of course, many things  have many variables, all interdependent, and many that are way beyond conscious comprehension.

But for most things, they can be broke down into a couple of broad categories.

Like movies. Guy movies (action, aliens, horror, zombies) vs. girl movies (romance, drama, etc.)

Or if you’re talking about booze, there’s beer and wine, and then the hard stuff.

If you’re making a cake, there’s the baking part, and then the decorating part.

In music there’s tension, and release.

Human accomplishment is something that is both incredibly complicated, and also incredibly simple, based on how you look at it.

Take making more money, for example. On the outside, there’s a virtual limitless amount of skills you can learn, relationships you can build, products you can help create, sell and otherwise bring to the market.

On the inside, there’s the simple belief that no matter what happens, you’ll succeed.

Outside is filled with endless and ever changing variables.

Inside is either the worry of, “I don’t know if this will work..” vs. the thought of “Yep. I got this. No matter what.”

Once the inside is taken care of, the outside takes care of itself.

This is true no matter what field you look in. Sports, money, romance, business, building your own cult, anything.

The most fundamental component that ALL successful people have is the raw belief that they’ll be successful.

BEFORE they become successful.

Before Bill Gates became a multi-kajillionaire, he believed he could.

Before Alexander conquered much of the known world, he believed that he could.

Before you succeed at anything, you must believe that you will.

And once you believe you wil, you will.

So why limit yourself?

Why not set HUGE goals, HUGE dreams, HUGE plans for your life?

Choose whatever you want, and then set the belief.

Because once that belief is set on the inside, all that stuff on the outside will be easy.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Take Your Brain on a Shopping Spree

Grab Whatever You Want

Take Anything You Want

Here’s a fun mind experiment.

You are at your favorite shopping mall. (Or department store, or supermarket or whatever).

You’ve got a shopping cart, and five minutes.

You can go to any store, and grab anything you want, and put it in your basket, for free.

No limitations.

What would you grab? Assuming you can’t sell anything, so you don’t just grab the most expensive stuff, what would you get?

This is a fun experiment to play with your friends, just to see what kinds of things they value.

But it’s also a good metaphor for the way we look at the world.

How so?

Our senses are being hit with millions of bits of information per second, but our conscious minds only handle a small fraction. Less than a hundred bits.

The stuff that’s important to us, like our names, money on the ground, a tiger that just escaped from the zoo, that stuff gets front row seats in our conscious minds.

The rest?

Straight into long term storage, most likely to never been seen again.

What kinds of things?

Those attractive people who are checking you out.

Those people that would be perfect for you to talk to and get some traction behind that idea of yours.

That bookstore or magazine stand that’s got the book or article that might send your career into a completely different direction, allowing you to make more money than you ever thought possible.

The trouble is that most of us never notice ANY of those things.

But it’s easy to “fine-tune” your mind, to see whatever you want to see.

Even better, you can create any set of ideas or beliefs you want, and train your mind to see PROOF of whatever you want.

Most people say they’ll believe it when they see it.

But as I’m sure you know, you’ve got to believe it FIRST, then you’ll start seeing it.

Granted, it’s not quick. It’s not as simple as mumbling some magic phrases.

But it is very easy. And it only takes a few minutes a day of private mental practice.

What would YOU like to believe?

The world really IS like that imaginary shopping mall with all the stuff.

You really CAN grab whatever you want.

Tune your brain, and it’s yours for the taking.

Learn How:

Belief Change