Category Archives: Dating

Secrets Of Natural Seduction

Signs Are Everywhere

Respond To The Ever Present Signs

If you want to be a natural with the ladies, so you can more quickly find your dream girl, you’ve got to leave plenty of childhood ideas behind.

One thing that many guys complain about, when they’ve finished a date but haven’t been able to “close” effectively, is that they didn’t get any “green lights.”

Meaning they didn’t see any obvious signals that told them it was OK to lean in for the kiss or whatever.

Ideally, you need to get to the level where you can interpret signals that are kind of fuzzy. You’ll never get a girl looking straight at you and say, “Ok, you can kiss me now!” Unless you’re in some kind of goofy romance movie.

In reality, most of the signals will be fuzzy, and unclear. It’s your job, as a man, to notice those signals, and act on them. And to dial it back a little bit if you go too far.

Many guys don’t like hearing this. Many guys like to be told exactly what to do, exactly what signs to look for when it’s “safe” to kiss her, etc.

But if you wait for a sure thing, it’s never going to come.

Think of it like the stock market. There’s no sure thing. There’s no perfect set up. Any stock you buy can tank right away. Any stock you don’t buy can to straight to the moon. It’s your job as an investor to take a risk and pay close attention to the stock’s behavior after you buy it, and act accordingly.

Or think of it like a boxing match. Every single thing you do is based on what your opponent does. If what you’re doing isn’t working, you’ve got to change things up.

Imagine asking your boxing coach which specific moves to use, before the match even started. He’d look at you like you were nuts. You just get in there, throw a few punches, and see what happens.

How does this apply to dating, or pretty much the whole spectrum of male-female involvement?

The exact same way. There are ZERO guarantees. There’s no surefire, step by step method. There’s only those signals that girls are ALWAYS giving off. Then there’s your ability to interpret them, and then take a risk.

Then, just like the stock market, once you take a risk, you simply need to pay careful attention to how she responds, and act accordingly.

Are you getting more positive signals? Great, keep moving forward. Is she turning cold on you? Step back a bit and try something different.

Is there any way to predict how she’ll respond to you? None whatsoever. It’s all based on you, her, and the energy between you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. 

So long as you keep playing the game, it’s all good.

How To Be Your Own Dating Coach

Drill Yourself To Seduction Genius

Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths

Most guys do very well when they have a “dating coach.”

But the reason isn’t why most people think. Dating coaches don’t know anything more than your random Internet Keyboard jockey. 

But what they DO do (if they are worth their fees) is keep you honest.

When you think about it, most coaches are like this. Even sports coaches. Some of the greatest coaches of all time were lousy players. They aren’t great coaches because of their playing skills. They are great coaches because they have an objective view of their players. Their strengths, their weaknesses. And most crucially, specific exercises to turn their weaknesses into strengths.

So if you were to hire an expensive dating coach, this is what they’d do. They’d ask you about your strengths and weaknesses. The part of dating that is easy, and the part that is hard. Then they’d simply give you homework assignments, to keep practicing the hard stuff, until it becomes easy.

Then you’d just keep getting better and better. Then they’d help you elicit the criteria that is most important to you in finding your ideal dream girl. Then they’d help you come up with strategies and techniques to “test her” for those criteria without spending a lot of time and money. Usually on the first couple of dates.

How much would a coach like this cost? Probably a few thousand dollars. How long would it take? Maybe a few months.

And for a lot of guys, this would be money well spent. Think about it, if you could spend five grand, and be pretty much guaranteed that within six months you’d be in a relationship with your dream girl, wouldn’t it be worth it?

What’s that? Don’t have five grand laying around. No problem!

Why?

Because you can be your own coach.

You’ve just got to create some “space” to be a coach, and then use the rest of the time to be a “player.”

How do you do that?

First, you’ve got to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Then, as a coach, you’ve got to give yourself assignments. Do this at night. Daily journaling is a great way to do this.

Simply write down anything you did to further your skills. Then write down something you could do the very next day that would further them even more. Do this while being completely objective.

Then simply take that as your next day’s assignment. Some days you’ll do fine. Some days you won’t. Big deal.

But you’ll continue to make forward progress.

This does require you be honest with yourself. And this does require you actually DO your daily assignments.

But if you do, amazing things will happen.

Are you willing?

How To Become The Ultimate Alpha

Are You Trying To Salivate?

Are You Trying To Be A Wolf?

Girls will always go for the alpha.

But what does that really mean? If you’re a wolf, it means the biggest most fiercest dude in the pack. The one who can physically dominate all the rest.

And for most other animals, this is true as well. Basically it means the one dude who can control the situation. In the animal kingdom, this means by sheer brute force, nothing else.

What about humans? Most guys mistakenly assume guys are the same. The biggest, toughest, most physically fit. To be sure, if you go by Hollywood movies (which are written by NON-alphas) this holds true.

But what about real life?

Remember, the measure of an alpha is the guy who can hold control the best. 

So who controls people the best? And in the most situations?

To be sure, in many situations, the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious guy. But put this guy in a boardroom, and he’ll most likely be WAY over his head. Maybe on a desert island he’ll do OK. But not in real life.

For one thing, this is situationally dependent. And since we’re talking about being an alpha to attract the females, we need to think about how she’s interpreting this alphaness.

Does she want alpha who’s ONLY alpha in that particular situation? Or is she going to be attracted to a guy who is likely to be alpha in MOST situations he finds himself in?

Remember, the more situations she imagines he’ll be alpha in, the better.

The boardroom, the bedroom, the locker room, AND the desert island situation.

How can you demonstrate ALL that?

Easy. Show her that no matter what happens, you can not only handle it, but come out on top. This means you’ve always got to feel confident in your ability to get your needs met no matter HOW the situation turns out.

Which means you’ve FIRST got to determine what your needs are. Most guys don’t even get this far. They just hope they’ll get something good, and not get something bad.

So if you first determine your basic outcome for the particular situation, then you’ll be already ahead.

Then you simply figure out how to “work the room” to get your outcome.

If you’re going into a boardroom situation, then you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the meeting. If you’re hanging with your boys, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the evening.

If you’re going on a date, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome for the evening as well.

If you can not only come up with an ideal outcome for each and every situation, and make that outcome come true, no matter what happens, (and crucially to convince everybody else it’s the best outcome) THEN she’ll see you as the ultimate alpha. 

And she’ll never want to leave you.

Navigate The Maze Of Life

Trial and Error Is The Only Way Through

The Magic Of Trial And Error

Imagine you were at the beginning of a big maze. One that was about 50 meters on either side. Made up of bales of hay or something. And with you, you had a can of spray paint, so you could mark your path.

You also had a backpack with some food, water, and other necessities. Basically, you had plenty of time to get to the other end of the maze. You were the only one there. No monsters, no other people trying to mess with you.

And imagine, on the other end of the maze was a fantastic prize. Something you could carry with you, back to the starting point. And once you figured out how to get to the end point, every time you brought the prize back to the starting point, another prize would magically appear.

Now, the first time through would probably be pretty sketchy. You’d make a lot of wrong turns. You’d run into a lot of dead ends. But if you were smart, and you used your can of spray paint wisely, after once or twice through the maze it would be pretty easy.

Pretty soon, going from start to finish would only take a few minutes. And since each time through would get you a new prize, you’d start piling up the goods.

Now, think about the very first time through. Would you be nervous? Of course. Would this keep you from starting? Of course not.

This is precisely how life is. We are going somewhere good, but we aren’t sure how to get there. Sometimes we take wrong turns, some times we  have to back track. But so long as we keep the end in mind, and remember what we did right, and what we did wrong, we simply can not fail.

Yet many guys are stuck. They are stuck on one side of the room, where literally right on the other side are gorgeous girls just waiting to be approached.

Will you say the right thing the first time? Most likely not. But just like the  maze, all you need to do is keep trying, and remembering what works and what doesn’t, and you’ll get better each time.

And each time you get a prize, they just keep getting better. Sure, you might start small. A smile and some nice eye contact. A nice conversation. A phone number. A couple of decent dates. So long as you keep trying, and keep remembering what works and what doesn’t, you HAVE to keep getting better and better.

Unfortunately, many guys are terrified to try. They imagine getting stuck is going to be much worse than it really is. They imagine horrible monsters hiding behind every corner of the maze, when they’re really none.

This is true of not only girls, but everything else worth getting in life as well. Fantastic careers, prosperity, health, wealth, anything. And you’ve already got everything you need to get started.

So get started!

Is Game Getting In The Way?

Simpler May Be Better

Sometimes Less Is More

There’s a belief that without any kind of structured “game” then guys would be helpless.

Meaning that unless there were guys teaching other guys how to talk to girls, date girls and hopefully get laid with girls, then it would otherwise never happen.

Now, there’s a few things wrong with this theory. To be sure, it does indeed help to know a little bit of what to say. And it helps A LOT to have a group of guys who have been there to share your experiences with, so you can do better next time.

But often times, when guys talk about “game” they are talking way beyond the basics of mutual male support.

Firstly, lets consider guys a hundred years ago. Obviously, they got laid, as there are many more people here than now than there were then. And they generally stayed in long lasting relationships, as the divorce rates back then were much lower than they are now.

And many guys will point to this as the very reason we need game. Girls are so low quality these days, they’ll say, that guys need some kind of super ninja tactics.

But that may be making the problem worse.

Now, let’s define the problem as not being able to meet quality girls for quality relationships.

How does game help this? Generally speaking, any kind game is only a short term strategy. It’s very, very hard to employ any kind of social technology over the long term.

Even politicians know this. That’s why they are always super vague when they speak. They know that if they are specific on any particular issue, they’ll likely contradict themselves later on.

So if you’re using any kind of technology to get girls interested in you, it’s definitely going to work in the short term.

But short term flings are made from much different ingredients than long term relationships.

Short term flings are based on short term interests. They necessarily overlook elements of compatibility and mutually shared experiences.

On the other hand, long term relationships are based on mutual physical interest, but only as an opening ingredient.

For any person to commit to another person, think of what’s involved. A lot of time, money, energy, and most importantly, opportunity cost.

For every hour you’re expecting that other person to spend with you, they CAN’T spend it doing anything else.

So you’re basically asking them to decide that the time they spend with you is the very BEST choice they can make.

Now, think about this. For anybody to spend time with somebody, at expense of all else, they’d better be getting their needs met. They better be with somebody that shares a lot of their interests. They better be with somebody that is got the same basic world views and life plans.

Otherwise, you’re asking for somebody without any world views, without any life plans, and without any idea of what they want. Somebody that will voluntarily chuck everything just to be with you.

Sure, game works in the short term. But it may be keeping you from finding that special lady that will only show her true self to you over a natural course of time. Without the social manipulation of any kind of game.

Something to consider.

Are You Willing To Pay The Costs?

Everything Comes With Costs - Are You Willing to Pay Them?

Everything Has A Price

Here’s a surefire way to get a girlfriend, if that’s what you want.

Now before we get started, many people claim they want something, when they really don’t. Or what they say they want is not really what they want. For example, most anybody on the street would say that want a million dollars. But that’s not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that they want a million dollars without taking any risks, putting themselves in any uncomfortable situations, or doing anything that might make them look foolish.

Ask a bunch of people if they were willing to spend three hours a day on side projects. Taking away from their TV time and socializing time. Doing things that would bring them disdain from friends and family, for three years and THEN get a million dollars. Ask this and most of them would laugh and walk away.

Same with guys that claim they want a girlfriend. Sure if their dream girl showed up on their doorstep one night, and asked if she could come in, they’d welcome her with open arms.

Of course, that only happens in fantasy lands. If you asked the question another way, you’d get a different answer.

Like this:

Would you be willing to talk to ten girls day, and ask for their phone number at the end of the conversation?

Would be willing to date at least one or two of THOSE girls a week, and disqualify those that don’t meet your criteria?

Would you be willing to ALWAYS be juggling two or three girls that you’ve dated more than once, yet aren’t in a committed relationship with yet?

Would you be willing to do this for ONE YEAR before you found that one special lady?

Most guys would run for the hills if that’s what they thought was required.

In fact, a lot of guys that have voluntarily removed themselves from the dating pool claim it’s because there are no quality women, or the game is stacked against men, or whatever.

But in reality, going through the above is a lot of work. Work most guys are simply not willing to put in.

They’d rather live in an imaginary “good old days” when girls just feel from the sky onto your arm.

But the cold harsh truth of economics will always prevail. Specifically the element of cost.

You can get whatever you want, so long as you are willing to pay the cost.

Most guys aren’t willing to pay the cost.

Are you?

If you are, then you can have any girl you want.

It’s not easy. But it is worth it.

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Picture

Economics Of Seduction

There are two aspects meeting and dating quality women that are absolutely essential to understand. Without these, you won’t get very far, and you’ll end cursing the gods of randomness.

Of course, nothing is random, despite the plethora of metaphors indicating otherwise.

What makes this even more difficult, is that both of these elements are operating unconsciously, in everybody. So it could very well be that yours are messed up and you don’t even know it.

The trick is to elevate them to the conscious level, make sure everything’s in good working order, and then drop them back down to the unconscious level, so you can get back to having fun.

The first is criteria. You’ve got to know what you want in a woman. You’ve also got to know what you don’t want. Most guys have the first one, but not the second one. And even then it’s pretty basic. Like she’s got to be hot, and she’s got to like him.

However, as you well know, super hot girls can also be super crazy girls. If your only criteria is how she looks, you may be in for some trouble. So you’ll need to put in some time to figure out what you want.

The next idea to consider is your own exchange value. Now, most guys think that just because they’ve read a few articles about game online, that they are super bomb alphas and deserve the hottest girls on planet Earth.

Generally, that’s not the case.

The harsh truth is that most PEOPLE (girls and guys) severely overestimate their value.

Think of it this way. Do you think quality girls are hard to find? Or, if you’re a woman, do you think quality men are hard to find?

Well consider this harsh slap of truth to the face.

If YOU were high quality, high quality partners wouldn’t be hard to find.

Think of it this way. If you went down to your local flea market, with a couple grand stuffed in your pockets, would you have any trouble finding good things to buy? Nope.

On the other hand, if all you had were a couple of nickels, you’d complain that there was NOTHING of value there. That it was all over-priced garbage.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re having trouble finding quality mates, take a good hard look in the mirror.

How can you improve yourself? Develop social skills. Improve confidence, let those “tests” easily roll off your back without worrying about them. Have some faith in yourself, and in your life.

Refine your criteria, and refine what you’ve got to offer, and you’ll be fine.

Two Requirements For Happy Relationships

The Essential Ingredients That Are The Basis Of Every Lasting Relationship

Get These Right And You’ll Be On Easy Street

Many guys look at relationships the wrong way. So do many women. A common belief is that there is something “missing” and that once we get into a relationship with the right person, that missing piece will be filled, and we’ll be more complete.

That’s sort of true, but not in the way we think.

Part of that comes from our natural tendency to mix metaphors. We think in terms of creating like going somewhere. And what happens when you are going somewhere? There’s the going part, and the arriving part.

What happens after the arriving part? We usually think of sitting around and not doing much. 

Even when we talk about becoming “successful” in life (whatever  THAT means) we use terms like “I’ve arrived!”

Meaning all the “work” is done, and you just need to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it doesn’t really work like that.

In reality, we never really “arrive” anywhere. We get to new levels, new situations, expanded responsibilities and skills, but we never get to a point were we just get to kick back and enjoy life.

Even sports teams that win major championships don’t rest too long. They know after a couple weeks, they need to start getting in shape to defend their title.

If you’re in any kind of business, every successful product launch is the start of researching something even better.

A lot of problems guys have with girls is that they can’t find a girl who will fit into their ideal model of their ideal partner.

But here’s the thing. Humans are hard wired to see sexual partners as wealth creating partners.

For the longest time in human history, the main requirement to human bonding was a shared responsibility in finding and accumulating wealth, whatever “wealth” meant at the time.

Which means if you are looking for a partner, she’s at least got to have an understanding by what you mean by “finding and accumulating wealth.”

Now, this is a very vague term, and I don’t mean “money” when I say “wealth.” I mean whatever it is you are creating with your life. Whatever goals or careers you’ve got lined up.

The happiest couples compliment and support each other. It’s not a one way street.

This can only come naturally when there are two things present.

One is there must be real attraction. You can’t just hand her your resume and hope she’s convinced by your stats.

You’ve got to talk to her in a way that gets her juices flowing.

Not just once, but consistently.

The second thing you must have is an absolute faith in yourself that your plan for your life is important and worthy.

Sadly, most guys have neither of these.

If you don’t, start building them.

Are You A Bully?

Is This Your Best Strategy For Gaining Compliance?

Stop Pushing People Around!

Many people are easy to persuade to do something. The truth about the best salesperson on any kind of sales force is that they are usually pretty high energy. You’ll see this in many different industries.

They may not be “in your face” type of high energy, but they are pretty relentless. In most sales, one technique (certainly not the best) is to simply keep closing until the client just gives up and buys.

There’s a famous book called “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” which is about being assertive. There’s a technique in there called “The Broken Record.” This is exactly like it sounds. You just keep repeating your point until the other side gives up.

It works great if your dealing with a fussy customer service person, or trying to get a refund without a receipt.  

What about sales, or even seduction?

First, lets consider sales. You’ve got a product, and your client may or may not want it. Ideally, they’d buy it for their own reasons. But if you sit around and wait for them to come up with their own reasons, you may be waiting a while.

So you start to push them, slightly. You say buy, they say no. You say buy, they say maybe. You say buy, they say give me a better deal. You say buy, they say OK.

Now, this may seem like some masterful sales technique that only advanced persuaders know, but it’s really only a hair above bullying.

You’re not really building up value in the product. Your just making it more uncomfortable for them to say no. So maybe by comparison, buying is looking like a better option. If only to get you out of their face.

The only problem comes when they get home, use the product, and find out it sucks. Then they feel conned. Angry. Cheated. By you.

Lots of guys do this with girls. Lots of girls have low self esteem. Lots of guys have low self esteem.

So what happens when you keep pressuring somebody that has low self esteem? They give in, that’s what.

But then they get buyers remorse. This is why you may be getting laid a lot, but then they vanish.

They are getting buyers remorse.

How do you avoid that? Don’t bully them. Don’t overwhelm them with what you want until they give in.

Take your time. Talk to them about things they like. Things they dream about. Their ideal future. Their ideal job. Their favorite movies, etc.

Of course, you’ve got to go back and forth a bit, ask and share, etc.

But if you spend some time opening them up, talking about what they like, they’ll start seeing you through the filter and frame of their own desires.

Which means they’ll start liking you for THEIR reasons, rather than yours.

Make It Easy:

mindpersuasion.com

Necessary Steps To Romantic Success

Face Your Fears

The Cave! Remember The Cave!

In many action type movies, you’ve got two powerful guys. A good guy, and a bad guy. Often times, the general story is the good guy and the bad guy are on a collision course, and the main climax is when they fight each other.

Remember in The Empire Strikes Back? Yoda told Luke he couldn’t be a true Jedi unless he faced Vader in the cave. Of course, Vader turned out to be his Father, which had all kinds of deep mysterious meanings in and off itself.

But the main reason so many action movies, (which are primarily marketed to guys) have this same structure is all guys must face their biggest fears before they move on to the second half of their lives.

The first half, the childhood half, is when they are dependent on others. The second half, the adult half, is when they become fully functioning adults.

This main battle of “good vs. evil” MUST happen in your life if you are to achieve true greatness. And when we’re talking about creating wonderful relationships with attractive women, that fear is pretty obvious.

Not just approach anxiety, but what you might call “expression anxiety.” You like her, and you’ve got to give her a chance to see if she likes you. Since girls’s attraction is much more dependent on personality, you’ve GOT to let her see the REAL YOU.

And for most guys, this is absolutely terrifying. If she sees and understands the real you, and rejects you, then NOTHING on Earth feels worse.

This is why guys spend all kinds of time on forums, seminars, reading books and other products. Following gurus around, going on boot camps.

It’s all designed to keep you from facing your fears.

But face your fears you must. Because on the other side is brilliance.

The good news is you don’t have to face your fears all at once. Since from the initial approach, to the time you make a commitment to your new partner, there’s going to be a LOT of stuff to work through.

Take your time. Take it slow. There’s no rush. Hopefully, you’re still building your life, no matter HOW old you are.

But you absolutely must accept that facing your fears is a necessary part of creating a positive relationship with a woman.

How do you do that?

Like I said, start small. Eye contact. Smile. A few words. Introduce yourself. Extend the conversation. Ask for contact number. Go on dates. Etc.

Just work on one level, until it’s easy, and keep moving up.

If you keep moving forward, and simply accept that everything that happens will make you stronger, you will not fail.

Forget gurus, forget men’s movements, forget finger pointing. Get going today, your future is waiting.