Category Archives: Dating

What Does Newton Know About Seduction?

If You Want Affection And Loyalty You've Got To Create Attraction

The Physics Of Attraction

Many guys approach girls and creating relationships with girls with a childhood mindset.

When we’re kids, everything we want is given to us by adults. We cry out, and they give us what we want. Usually to shut us up.

If you think about this model of the world, a lot of “adult” behavior makes a lot of sense. People want stuff “just because.” We’ve been conned into thinking that we can get something simply because it’s our “right” or we “deserve it.”

But here’s the shocker.

If whatever you want has to come from somebody else (girl related or not) they aren’t going to give you squat unless you’ve got something they want.

Even when politicians promise us the moon, they’re still using this model. They promise a bunch of stuff IN EXCHANGE for our votes.

But with so many leaders (political, religious, corporate, etc) promising us stuff, it’s easy to stay stuck in the childhood model. Where we think we just need to “express ourselves” and we’ll get some kind of “reward.”

What’s worse, is many guys fall into the “any-work-equals-reward” mindset. This is just as deadly.

For example, they tell themselves they’ve gone through college, have gotten their degree, have a decent job, and decent financial situation, so they “deserve” some kind of beautiful and loyal wife.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

No girl is going be interested in you simply because of all the “work” you’ve done on yourself.

The ONLY REASON a girl is going to become interested in you is if you get her feeling those feelings that we collectively refer to as “attraction.”

Only be creating and maintaining attraction will she give you the affection and companionship you’d like.

Even then it’s ALWAYS conditional. As soon as the attractions’s gone, so is she.

Not only do you have to BUILD IT, but you’ve got to MAINTAIN IT.

Now, many guys will scream and cry that this isn’t fair. That “back in the good old days” all you had to do was get a job and sexy loyal girls would fall from the heavens directly into your arms.

But it was really not like that.

Think of this in terms of Newton’s Second Law of Motion:

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

To put it in terms of dating, it might go like this:

“For every loyal and attractive girlfriend, there’s an equal and opposite attraction-creating boyfriend.”

It’s actually pretty simple.

You want a high quality woman? An attractive lady that will be affectionate and loyal?

Create attraction, and maintain attraction.

Learn How:

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The Secret Of Getting Girls To Fall In Love With You

How To Create Love

Is Love Possible To Engineer?

A long, long time, conversational hypnosis was invented. Some guy (a genius really) in a wheelchair needed to come up with a more effective way of hypnotizing people.

Even even though they were coming to see a hypnotist, to be hypnotized, they still were afraid. So they still had their mental shields.

Enter the Milton Model.

This is when Milton Erickson invented a new form of hypnosis that wasn’t really dependent on the client voluntarily going into hypnosis.

He would talk to them a little “strange.” Not so strange they thought they were being hypnotized. But strange enough so they still paid attention, even though most of the time they didn’t know what the heck he was talking about.

Then they would leave his office, confused, thinking maybe they’d wasted their money. Only their problems were GONE.

Poof!

Then some guys figured out how he “talked” and taught it to others. They figured it would be great for therapy. Of course, it didn’t take long after that for people to use it in sales, (to make a lot of money) and seduction (to have a lot of sex).

However, something happened along the way, and a lot of men today are very angry. They feel cheated. They feel as if they’ve discovered the “truth” about women, and they don’t like it.

And if you keep reading, you may not like what you’re about to hear either.

Sure, these patterns work great on firing up emotions. They work great in sales, because they get to the heart of the deep feelings the customer is trying to satisfy. Which means they can help salespeople create some very valuable and profitable relationships with their customers.

But picking up girls is VASTLY different than selling things to customers.

A customer walks into your shop, and they want something. They know they want something. You know they know they want something. They know you know they know they want something. (Ok, enough already!)

So you create rapport, and talk about what they want. They share why they want what they want. You build up their feelings, and attach those feelings to your product. They buy it, and go home. They are happy. You are happy.

Next time they want to buy something, they think of you. Because you made them feel happy about buying something.

Girls are different.

Girls don’t go shopping for a boyfriend or a husband. Girls like romance. (Many guys do also, but we’re terrified to admit it.)

They want it to “just happen.”

Now, with these language patterns, you can make it “just happen.”

At least in the short term.

But think of one very important thing. A girl deciding to have sex is NOT the same thing as a girl falling in love with you and wanting you to be her boyfriend.

Those feelings take a long time. She needs to see you several times. Those thoughts need to bubble up in her mind on their own. 

Mother Nature made damn sure most girls don’t fall head-over-heels in love with guys at the drop of a hat.

They are VERY HARD to create. They are much different than those “let’s have sex” feelings.

Many guys don’t get this. They think if they talk to her, build up her emotions enough to get her in between the sheets, that’s good enough.

It’s sometimes is, but usually not.

Deep feelings of love take a lot longer to create. Because they must be real, not fake.

Which means YOU must be real, and not fake. Which means you must RISK getting rejected.

Not from approaching her, but from dating her a couple months and then getting dumped.

If you want to get laid, you’re going to have to overcome approach anxiety. Once you do, talk to enough girls, and you’ll get laid.

But if you want to create a real relationships, you’re going to have to do a lot more.

It’s certainly not easy, and it’s not quick. 

But it certainly is worth it.

Essential Mind Tools:


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How To Find High Quality Women

Searching For High Quality Women?

Criteria Are Essential

It’s easy to feel angry and frustrated if you aren’t having much success with the ladies.

Even if you are “hooking up” from time to time, it can be frustrating if they turn out to be “low quality” women.

The thing about sex is it’s not nearly as meaningless as many people like to believe. Humans have been around for a long, long time, and we wouldn’t have been as successful, compared to other animals, if we didn’t have a lot of advantages.

One of those advantages is that humans are one of the few animals that form long term pair-bonds.

To make it even more powerful, humans are the ONLY animal that employ sexually specific labor.

Meaning that back in the caveman days, both men and women looked for food. But men looked for different food (meat or protein) than women (roots, nuts, berries, etc). 

Basically men hunted, while women gathered.

This became a HUGE advantage because humans could live in a LOT more environments than all other animals.

If the men OR the women came up empty, we were still OK for a while.

So it became even MORE IMPORTANT to our deep programming to look for relationships, rather than anonymous sex, like many other primates.

One way this plays out is guys think they are looking for a one-nighter, only to find they’re having feelings for the girl after a couple rolls in the hay.

Since women are MUCH BETTER at compartmentalizing this kind of thing, if they’re going into it with ONLY a one-night-stand mindset, they’re much more likely to hold that one-night-stand mindset.

The end result is a guy who thinks he’s looking for a one-nighter ends up having feelings, when she doesn’t.

This leads to many guys thinking that all women are sluts, or low quality, or feeling “cheated” or lied to.

Now, I’m not saying that sex within hours of meeting is wrong or immoral, but it CAN make it complicated to build a solid relationship, if that’s what you’re after.

Another reason for a lot of confusion is many guys don’t have much criteria. Meaning they aren’t sure what kind of girl they’re looking for, other than a girl that likes them.

Then when they have sex, they assume all THEIR criteria is fulfilled, but the girl might think otherwise.

She might ONLY see you as some “guy she hooked up with” rather than boyfriend material.

One way to avoid this is to have some solid criteria BESIDES her physical appearance.

Then take some time to sort for this FIRST, before sleeping with her.

I know this is against what most gurus preach, which is to bang her as soon as possible, but if you consider a long term strategy of building a healthy relationship, rather than a string of heartbreaks, it may be something to consider.

Build Your Inner Game:

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The Quest For Mythical Love

Does True Love Really Exist?

It Really DOES Exist!

What is relationship “magic?”

Is it something that ONLY comes in Disney movies, or does it happen in real life?

Now, if you’re a guy, especially a jaded guy, bear with me.

Many guys think women need to be “gamed.” Meaning you need to see them as some secret combination that will only open when you say the right words and phrases in the right order.

Sure, this is an accurate metaphor, if you want to get laid. There are certain things that women (and men) respond to. Learn them well enough, and you can get laid, just like clockwork.

But if you’re after something more, then you’ve got to go beyond “game.”

As you may know, once you get past that initial lust, you may run out of material. Then the relationship will fizzle, and she’ll wonder what happened to that guy you met.

Imagine a girl that looks absolutely gorgeous, only when she wakes up the next morning, her face looks different (because all her makeup and contacts are gone) and her body looks different (because all those constricting undergarments are now removed). Her boobs are smaller (since she’s no longer wearing a push up bra) and you see the real color of her hair.

You’d feel you’d been conned. This is precisely the danger of over relying on “game.”

She’s going to eventually wake up next to a much different guy that she went to bed with.

The REAL YOU is going to show up sooner or later.

But what if you elevated the REAL YOU so that just by acting natural, you’d be much more attractive?

Here’s something else to consider, that may take a bit of brain power for some of you.

If you were to improve your all around personality, social skills and self confidence, something pretty cool will happen.

See, when you rely on game, it can start to feel “mechanical.” Do it enough times, and you start to “expect” her to respond a certain way. Pretty soon it loses its “magic.”

But when you’re acting “natural” you don’t feel like you’re running game. You’re just talking.

AND she’s getting more and more attracted to you.

Seeing a girl get fired up because of YOU is a much different, and much better feeling that seeing a girl get fired up because of “game technology.”

It feels more natural, it feels more organic, and it generally lasts a lot longer.

So, what’s holding you back? Why don’t you ALREADY do this?

Maybe you’ve been told that “being yourself” is a lie, only for beta chumps.

Maybe gurus have been flooding the interwebs with game language for so long they’ve forgotten one thing.

Men and women have been getting together, enjoying each others company, and STAYING together for over a hundred thousand years.

Improve your inner game, your life skills, and the women you want will follow.

Learn More:

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Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety By Becoming The Sorter

They Pass Your Tests - Not The Other Way Around

See Beneath The Surface

Most guys are incredibly nervous when they approach girls. In fact, it can take years of practice to fully get over this.

And even guys who DO get over this, once they’re off the market for a while, their skills will go back to zero.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly tried the market, you may have felt WAY out of your league.

Why is this?

One of the reasons is all of the assumptions that guys make about girls. Since guys are hard wired to be attracted primarily to looks, we assume that if she’s cute, then every other part of her is good also.

Which means when we walk over there, we assume that SHE already passes our “tests” and it’s completely up to us to pass her tests.

This is enough to give ANYBODY the jitters, no matter WHAT it is your doing.

Luckily, the part about her looks being “good enough” is absolutely false.

And here’s a way to prove it to yourself, AND get over your approach anxiety faster than you ever could just by pushing through them.

This will take some time, but you’ll be gaining an EXTRAORDINARY amount of experience, AND decreasing your levels of anxiety significantly.

Here’s what you do.

First, come up with some deal breakers. Either pure red flags, (according to you, nobody else) or things you’d rather she didn’t have.

This must be personality traits, habits, beliefs, things that will take a little bit of conversation to get to.

Smoking, a certain religion or political affiliation, cat person (or dog person) anything that you don’t imagine your “Dream Girl” of having.

Then, simply talk to girls LONG ENOUGH to disqualify them. Don’t get ANY numbers.

After you go through ten or twenty girls, you’ll have a sudden burst of realization.

That there’s MUCH more to girls than just their looks.

And that will absolutely DESTROY any feelings of “she’s perfect and I must qualify myself to her.”

ALL without getting any rejection.

Now, it’s important to have a friendly attitude while doing this. Don’t get angry, don’t put them down (out loud or in your mind). Just talk to them long enough until you get a red flag.

Then simply disqualify them IN YOUR MIND, politely end the conversation, and walk away.

Once you leave the mindset of the desperate beggar, and enter the mindset of the sorter, it will get much, much easier.

This Will Help:

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Mind Tricks For Massive Confidence With Girls

How To Shift From Anxiety To Confidence In No Time

Flip Your Mental Switch

Here’s a great trick that will quickly boost your confidence.

You go somewhere where there’s plenty of cute girls to flirt with.

Someplace where people are out walking around is best. When you see a cutie coming your way, make eye contact and smile at her like she’s a friend. Like you know her.

While you are doing this, purposely remember a fun time you actually had with a cute girl. Nothing physical, just a fun conversation with a friend from school or work or something.

Nine times out of ten, she’ll smile back.  Even do a few double takes when you pass each other.

This is the perfect “energy” to have when out in public.

Most guys like girls, but they don’t know how to meet girls. For most guys, meeting girls just happens. Which means it always feels out of control.

And most guys like sex, but don’t get nearly as much as they want (if any lol).

You combine these two feelings, and whenever they see a cute girl they’d LIKE to get with, it brings up all kinds of negative feelings. Lack, being out of control, feeling alone, left behind, etc.

And sometimes these feelings morph into anger at the girl.

This is a natural human trait. We want something, and we can’t get it, so we blame the world. In this case the girl.

Now, it’s pretty obvious what will happen with this mindset. You’ll be looking at a girl with a mixture of lust, frustration, desperation and perhaps even a tinge of anger.

Not the kind of energy she’s looking for in a guy.

This, of course, will make it much harder to meet girls, which will increase those feelings. And this is a very hard trap to get out of.

So you’ve got to prime the pump, so to speak.

Hence the exercise described above.

The trick is to FORCE your brain to think of a happy, carefree spontaneous conversation you had with  a girl, no matter how long ago.

Then FORCE your brain to “pretend” the girl you’re looking at is an old friend. 

These two thoughts combined will get rid of those negative feelings and emotions long enough for her to notice your energy, and flash you an honest smile.

And when a cute girl flashes you an honest smile, and holds it, and even does a double take, it feels pretty good.

Try this out whenever you’re in a funk. Try and get five to ten good, honest smiles before talking to anybody.

It will not only put you in a good mood, but it will turn that negative self sustaining loop into a positive one.

Learn More Mind Tricks:

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How To Find Your Dream Girl

Get Girls To Fall In Love With You

Step By Step Love Building

Most guys realize something pretty incredible when they start getting success with the ladies.

And that is that it’s not really as heavenly as they imagined.

Sure, it’s still a wonderful feeling to be with somebody special. Somebody who really gets you and has your back when you need it.

But it’s much more of a “two way street” than some guys imagine.

This is because there is a difference between getting something as a gift, and getting something in exchange.

Remember being a little kid, and getting birthday presents? Or any other present?

It feels good to get something. Something good. Something unexpected. Simply because.

That’s great if you’re a kid. And some guys apply this philosophy to girls. They act like they “deserve” something just “because.”

Like a little kid pounding his fists on the dinner table because there’s no ice cream.

“But You Promised!”

The only reason a girl will “give you” anything is because she’s getting something equally valuable from you.

And as tough as this is to hear, if you aren’t getting what you want from girls, then you don’t have much to offer, at least from their perspective.

No pretty girl, who gets plenty of attention from guys, is going to look across the room at some guy, and just spontaneously decide to walk over and give him the goods.

Girls just aren’t wired that way.

They like being approached. They like being talked to in a special way. They like to feel special feelings. 

And if a guy can consistently make them feel those special feelings, she’ll be more than willing to give back.

Now, it’s absolutely crucial that NONE of this happens on a conscious level. It’s not like trading baseball cards with your buddies.

Your behavior has to trigger those feelings. And those feelings in her will trigger her behavior that then triggers those feelings in you.

To get, you’ve got to give. But not like most guys think they’re “giving.”

How will you know when you’re “giving” correctly? She’ll be responding correctly. Body language, pupil dilation, lip color, skin color, percent of the time she’s looking at you and not gazing around the room.

Now, this requires a lot of practice. A lot of times you’ll go over and talk to her, and nothing will happen.

But if you talk to enough girls, you’ll see that just being you will be enough to get certain girls into you.

Then you just keep focusing on those until you find one you like who likes you.

Now, like I mentioned before, once you get to this level, it’s pretty mechanical. You’ll start to lose that “magic feeling” when a girl looks at you a special way.

You may even feel like you’re wasting your time. After all, you’ll find that if you talk to ten girls a night, you’ll get at least a couple who are interested in you.

You’ve stopped looking for unexpected “presents” and you’ve entered the grown up world of relationship creation.

Which means you can literally design your perfect dream girl, in every way, and then simply go out and find her.

Get Started Now:

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How To Practice Seduction Confidence

Drills Are The Quickest Way To Improve Your Game

A Little Practice Yields Huge Results

Many people have tried, and failed with various NLP “procedures” when it comes to seduction.

What’s even more frustrating is when you go to a high priced seminar, try a bunch of goofy NLP stuff that works GREAT in the seminar room. Then a couple weeks later and you’re back to square one.

Many NLP trainers are borderline snake oil salesmen in their marketing. I get why they do that, but I’m not sure it’s so helpful.

For example, consider these two “buying” headlines:

Come To Our Seminar And Learn The Secrets Of Easy Seduction

vs.

Come To Our Seminar And Learn The Skills That Will Allow For Better Seduction After About Six Months Of Practice

One sounds great, the other one doesn’t. But one is much more accurate.

The reason that NLP “tricks” don’t work as advertised is that they need to be practiced.

Think of it from a purely biological, chemical and electrical perspective.

Our brains have neurons, which transmit electricity, and depending on where that electricity goes, certain emotions are felt. (I know, WAY over simplified).

When we see a girl, part of our brain generating intense pleasure at the potential possibility.

But another part of our brain generating fear at the potential negatives.

On a purely physical level, this is two circuits that are hard wired into our brains and are very THICK circuits. Imagine a very thick superconductor with no resistance.

Our eyes see the girl, and both parts of our brain (fear and pleasure) that are wired with the super conducting brain circuits light up.

When we do an NLP procedure, we are indeed laying down new circuits. But since these circuits are new, they are very thin and don’t conduct electricity nearly as well.

Like a one lane road vs. a super highway. Or a very thing copper wire vs. a superconductor.

When there’s no girl there, that “fresh” circuit works well.

But when we SEE a real girl, we default back to our original programming.

This is why doing an NLP procedure only once doesn’t do much.

Which is why you need to practice.

Just like practicing lay ups or scales or punches. The more you practice, the better you’ll do.

How do you practice?

One very powerful way is to simply go in the field, where there are MANY hot girls, and simply practice feeling confident around them. Purposely recall confident memories, just like in those seminars.

Once you naturally feel confident without much effort in the presence of girls (when your new wire is nice and thick), move on to the next step.

Sure, it’s a slow process. But keep in mind the ultimate goal.

To be able to walk up to any girl any where any time, and speak confidently, persuasively and seductively.

Isn’t that a goal worthy of some daily practice?

More Mind Tools:

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Real Game Or Paper Game?

How To Develop Solid Inner Game

Become A Natural Seducer

What’s the difference between paper game and real game?

First, let’s consider the different reason girls go for certain guys. Every girl has a list of what she thinks she wants in a man. These are socially acceptable things like a decent income, decent parents, a sense of humor, good friends, no prison record, etc.

On the other hand, there are things a girl unconsciously responds to. Thing she can’t help. The things that create REAL attraction. These are less “definable” things like self confidence, charisma, assertiveness, and always feeling in control of his frame anywhere, any time.

Now, if a girl is super lucky, she’ll meet a guy who satisfies both categories. How likely is that?

Consider the ideal girl for each guy. A super sweetheart, cute face, nice body, good upbringing ,but a total freak in between the sheets.

How likely is this?

For guys, study after study shows that we like freaks for short term flings, but “good girls” for long term relationships.

Girls are the same way. They like the bad boy in their bed once in a while, but they want to hook their wagon to the nice guy with the decent income.

Even genetic studies have shown that ten or twenty percent of the time, they’re married to the good guy, but making babies with the bad boy.

Does this mean that all girls are evil sociopath’s and we should hide in the closet?

Not in the least.

But as a guy going out into the world, just realize that having “paper game” will only take you so far. Some guys assume that “paper game” is all you need.

But when it comes down to it, real game will trump paper game all the time.

Even if you’ve got not much going on for you financially, developing real game will not only get you good results with the ladies, but good results in life.

All those real game qualities (self confidence, frame control, mad social skills) will also work VERY WELL in pretty much any business situation.

You may even say that this “real game,” or more correctly, “inner game” is THE most important skill to cultivate in life.

Because once you’ve got rock solid inner game, money, jobs, careers, ladies, those will be easy. They won’t be automatic, but you’ll feel much more in charge.

You’ll have the experience of walking into a place and noticing that all the girls are noticing you, and hoping that you come and talk to them.

How do you improve your inner game?

Outer practice, and inner practice.

Outer practice is just getting out there and being a human. Interact with people. Practice feeling comfortable in strange situations. Practice holding your frame in uncomfortable situations. Practice speaking your mind when you know most people will disagree with you. Practice starting conversations with strangers and making them smile and feel good because of you.

You Can Learn Inner Practice Here:

Why You Should Be A Qualifier Of Women

Have A List And Stick To It

Make Her Pass Your Tests

When a guy is checking out a girl, he’s making a LOT of assumptions about her.

Plenty of guys only need a picture of a girl to literally fall in love with her.

Now, think about what’s going on for this to happen. They’re basically assuming all kinds of things about her personality, her likes, dislikes, beliefs, etc.

All from her pretty face and smoking body. All of which are highly made up to accentuate the “good” parts, and minimize or hide the “bad” parts.

If you’ve ever had the “let down” experience of seeing a favorite actor or actress in an interview, or give a speech during an awards ceremony, this is why.

We see them up on the screen, and imagine their characters (whose words are written by others and actions dictated by others) and actually think that’s really them, on some level.

Then when they’re in an interview, and sound nervous, super shy, or just plain dumb, it’s kind of a let down.

That’s what will happen when you walk over to that girl, imagining that she’s a super perfect princess.

And from her standpoint, it seems really creepy.

Think about it this way. Imagine some guy grabbed you off the street, and told you he had a job at a big company, and he KNEW you were perfect for the job.

He didn’t want to know your skills, your background, your education. He just told you he’d pay you alot, and he KNEW you’d be a PERFECT MATCH for the company.

On top of that, he seemed to be totally desperate to hire you.

Would you take the job? Unless you were one meal away from dying of starvation, probably not.

After all, what kind of job and what kind of company doesn’t care about your skills?

To even further expand this mind experiment, imagine that you’d just spend four years in school, working on a degree you thought was really important.

And this crazy hiring guy didn’t seem to care.

How would THAT make you feel?

This is precisely how girls feel when you walk up making all kinds of assumptions about her based ONLY on her looks.

Sure, a girl needs to look good. There’s no reason to interact (if you’re looking for a relationship of some sort) unless you’re physically attracted.

But don’t let that be your only reason.

You need to talk to her. Find out what she’s like. Figure you need at least FIVE things that must be true about any girl you date.

And only ONE of them can be her looks.

What would the other four be?

If you don’t have a list, you should have one. A good solid list of things about her that need to be true.

Then when you see a cutie, you KNOW she’s only 1/5 of the way there. The rest you need to find out via regular, old fashioned conversation.

This will not only make her easier to talk to, but YOU will be much more attractive.

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