Category Archives: Fear

Choose Your Life’s Mission

Where Are You Headed?

The Road To Uncertainty

I remember when I was a kid, I would love going on vacations.

Most of the time, it was just us driving somewhere for a few hours, staying in a motel, and then driving back later in a couple days.

There was usually some kind of activity near the motel, but nothing that I can remember now.

I just remember the excitement of being in the car, and going somewhere new.

I also remember the HUGE difference between taking classes at a local community college, as an adult, compared to when I was studying University.

When it was at Uni, it sucked. Boring, if I failed I’d be in big trouble, etc.

But as an adult, I LOVED taking classes. I was studying what I wanted to, not to get some piece of paper. 

I was learning just because I wanted to LEARN something.

I took a few language classes, tons of self improvement stuff, public speaking, even Tai Chi.

Whenever we humans do ANYTHING, the reasons we’re doing it will have a HUGE impact on how we feel about it.

Being a kid, the vacations were always outside of my control, but it was still fun. I never chose where we went, but I always enjoyed going somewhere new.

Being an adult, and taking all those classes, I felt the same way. I chose where I was going, and enjoyed the journey.

What’s the common thread?

It seems that being excited about the unknown is a crucial factor. On it’s own, it CAN be enough.

Also, going somewhere or doing something when you KNOW what the outcome is going to be, can also get your juices flowing.

But what happens when you combine these two?

What happens if you not only EMBRACE the unknown, but also have total control in where you’re going?

Sounds paradoxical, right?

But when you choose your outcome, and leave the PATH up in the air, something to discover along the way, then you’ve discovered some REAL magic.

Not only do you KNOW you are going somewhere good (or doing something good or learning something good or creating something good), but when  you’re completely OPEN to HOW you’ll get there, that’s when life takes on a whole new meaning.

Every step you take will get you wonderful feedback that will get you closer.

Your Ultimate Journey of Life.

What path are you on?

Are you dreams BIG enough?

Are the compelling enough to pull you forward, no matter what?

When you’ve got a huge dream, AND you know, deep in your bones, that you can handle anything that life throws at you, you’ve got it made.

Are You Walking Across Tightropes? 

Are Your Fears Really Real?

Fear: Real Or Fake?

If you’re ever going to walk a tightrope between two skyscrapers, here’s a good rule to remember:

Don’t look down.

Yea, I know, you already knew that!

But why is this rule so important? If you look down, you’ll get scared. If you get scared, you’ll lose confidence, start wobbling, and fall to your death.

Splat!

Now, let’s forget about a tightrope, instead let’s assume you are walking across a board, that’s a foot across, and very sturdy.

But it’s also between two skyscrapers. No wind, (or birds attacking you or whatever) but it’s still a 1000 foot drop.

Could you do it?

Most people wouldn’t even try unless there was a HUGE reward at the other end. Like not dying, or bag filled with endless money.

We’d take one step out, look down, and say, “nuh-uh!”

But think about it. 

Same board, laid across a soft field of grass. Would you walk across?

Of course you would. It would be easy. A foot across?  You wouldn’t even need to worry about your balance. You’d probably be able to play Angry Bird on your iPhone the whole time, no problem!

So why is the skyscraper so terrifying, but the grass so easy?

Same EXACT process. Only one has a potential deadly outcome, and one is you just step on some grass.

Now, these two “mind experiments” both have REAL outcomes. Grass is easy to step on. Falling to your death is horrible. (Or so I’ve heard.)

So even though the chances of falling are pretty minuscule, you’d have to have a pretty good reason, since one mistake would end you.

But most of the time when we think about doing something, the fear is really imaginary.

Especially social fear. Sales, speeches, talking to strangers, (especially attractive strangers) feels like we’re going to fall to our death if we fail.

But seriously, is it really that likely?

If we give a speech and people get bored, or think it’s silly, are they going to throw hand grenades at us?

If we walk up and start talking to somebody, and they’re in the middle of something, are they going to give us a spinning roundhouse kick to the throat?

Probably not. But we act like we THINK they will.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We can train ourselves to really appreciate the potential positive, and literally blow it up in our minds so we’re COMPELLED to do what we want, while minimizing the negatives so we don’t even give them a second thought.

Blasting away all social fears, and replacing with automatic self confidence.

What will you be able to do then?

How To Vanish Vampires

How To Eliminate These Bastards

Become Immune To Evil

What do you do when people “push your buttons?”

This is a common complaint. You’ll be out just jamming along, and then somebody shows up that just rubs you the wrong way. Energy vampires, manipulators, you name it. Some people seem to attract these kinds of people.

Well, you’re about to learn how to make them vanish completely. Nope, not like that. Not banish them into the cornfield or turn them into a jack-in-the-box, but negatively hallucinate them.

They’ll still be there, you just won’t see them.

How do you do that?

It’s kind of like learning martial arts. If you never studied martial arts before, and you kept getting your ass kicked, you couldn’t really read some post on the Internet about some secret Kung-Fu move that would destroy your opponents.

You’d have to head down to your local Dojo, and start drilling. Punches, blocks, kicks, etc. Only after doing some drills would you stop getting your ass kicked.

But not the way most people think. After practicing some ass-kicking skills of your own,  you’d be a lot more confident, and you’d send out a much different vibe. And those guys who kicked your ass before would know somehow to avoid you.

So, how do you do this with those energy vampires?

By working with something called “Shadow Energy.”

It’s based on the idea that those people (whoever they are) bother you so much because they remind you of you, on some level.

And because the prime directive of the ego is self protection, we don’t like to be reminded of our shortcomings. Since those “energy vampires” are reminding us of our shortcomings, we really, really don’t like them. We blame them for our bad feelings.

Enter the Shadow Energy Exercise.

First, assume they bother you because of something about you. Instead of pointing fingers and blaming them, simply ask yourself:

“What is it about me that person reminds me of?”

And let whatever answer trickle up from your subconscious into your conscious.

Then accept whatever the answer is.

This next part is crucial. This is where you’ll slowly get rid of their effect on you.

Simply accept that part of you. Go somewhere where you can be alone, and just sit with that part of you that other person reminds you of.

Accept it as part of who you are. Don’t try and change it or get rid of it or suppress it.

If it involves something you did that you’re not very proud of, forgive yourself and release your guilt.

This ain’t easy, but the effect it will have on your personality will be profound.

And just like martial arts, it’s going to take a lot of time.

But if you stick with it, those “energy vampires” will slowly start to vanish. One by one.

What’s more, you’ll start radiating a much different type of energy. Since you’re more accepting of yourself, you’ll be much more attractive, charismatic, and magnetic.

People of all walks of like will be naturally drawn to you.

Just be on the lookout for anybody that pushes your buttons. See them as an opportunity, and get to work.

If you make a commitment to do this regularly, you’re life will change in magnificent ways.

How To Re-Write Your Caveman Brain

Rewiring Your Brain Is Easier Than You Think

Ready For Human Brain 2.0?

I remember the first time I went bungee jumping, a long time ago.

Of course, I’ve only gone twice, but the first time was WAY different than the second time.

Even though my conscious mind was totally aware there was ZERO danger, I was still petrified.

Me and a buddy went to this amusement park, and one of the rides was bungee jumping. It was about twenty stories high, and the stairway to the top was inside the skeleton like structure.

We decided I’d go first, so my buddy watched me walk up to the top. He said I was slow, and hunched over, like I was walking to the gallows or something.

The guy at the top gave me the instructions (just stand at the edge and lean forward), and I almost passed out from fear.

But as soon as I went past the moment of no-return, something pretty amazing happened.

My fear was immediately replaced by exhilaration. Excitement. A feeling like I’d never felt before.

Pure adrenalin.

The next time I went, (a year or so later) it was much different. Since I knew what to expect, it was exciting the entire time. I walked up the stairs faster, and instead of slowly “leaning forward,” I leapt off the top platform.

Most conventional wisdom tells us we have to do something first, and then the confidence comes later.

Normally, this is true.

But normally, we’re using our brains the way they are hard wired. With the factory installed programming. Programming that was designed for a time when there were just as many critters trying to eat us as we were trying to eat them.

As you’re well aware, that’s not true any more. There’s rarely any physical danger. If you’re in a job interview, and you give the wrong answer, the guy’s not going to call in a couple of goons to beat you to a pulp.

If you walk over and talk to a pretty girl and say the wrong pick up line, she’s not going to pull out a switchblade and stab you in the eye.

But our caveman brains don’t think so. Our caveman (or cave woman) brains are still screaming bloody murder, like there’re tigers around every corner.

The good news is that with a little bit of reprogramming, and some targeted visualization, you can flip the switch on where confidence comes from.

You can get the confidence FIRST, and then take action.

Easy action.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

How To Define Your Life

Choose Your Destiny Of Your Life

Become Master Of Your Destiny

What is the secret of life?

That all depends.

In order to understand the secret of anything, we’ve got to first understand what that “thing” is, and what it means.

For example, what’s the secret of cake?

It all depends on what you’re doing with the cake. Are you making it? Eating it? Baking it? Decorating it? Smashing it into somebody’s face?

All actions regarding cake would have different secrets. If you’re eating it, the secret might be to use a spoon, and not let it touch the ice cream.

But different cake eaters would have different secrets. Some folks might like to mix it with the ice cream in a bowl, and eat it with their fingers.

Obviously, since we can’t really come to a widespread agreement of the secret of eating cake, how the heck are we supposed to uncover the secret of life?

While there’s certainly no secret that will apply to everybody, there IS a secret that will apply to you.

Again, this requires that you come up with what “life” means to you.

What do you want out of it?

How will you know when you get it?

What are the constraints? (e.g. “I want to make a lot of money without cheating or stealing or deceiving anybody”).

The better you define “your life” the more likely you’ll find the secret to making it happen.

Unfortunately, most people don’t even know they have this power.

They are content to let others do their thinking for them. To tell them what’s important, and what’s not. To tell them when they’re doing a good job, and when they aren’t. To tell them when they’re successful, and when they aren’t.

How about you?

Are you content to take what you’ve been given? Or do you want something more?

Do you want to not only define life on your terms, but also define when you’re successful?

Are you willing to take ownership of your life, and everything in it?

Most people are too terrified to even contemplate this.

The truth is that the world will respond to your own definition of our own life.

If you are content to let others handle it for you, the world will comply.

If you demand you create your own life, on your terms, the world will comply.

This is the one secret most people will never know.

It all starts with your inner mind.

How you see yourself, how you see the world, and how you define your place in it.

This will help:

Belief Change

Are You Stuck With A White Elephant?

White Elephant - Get Rid Of Limiting Beliefs

How To Drop Limiting Beliefs

When I was a kid I used to love playing hot potato.

It’s kind of a variation of musical chairs.

You take any object, and pass it around in a circle. If you drop it, you lose and you’re out.

If you’re holding it when the music stops, you’re out.

And just like musical chairs, it keeps going until one person’s left.

When I was younger, I got a particular gift for Xmas that I didn’t particularly want.

So I kept it in it’s box, wrapped it up again, and gave it to somebody else the following year.

People even organize Xmas parties like this. Everybody brings a “white elephant” gift.

Then people choose at random, and can “take away” any particular gift a certain number of times.

Invariably, somebody brings a gift that’s not really a “white elephant.” It’s something good, that people want to keep.

This is what makes the whole game fun. Sometimes you end up with something good, but most of the time you go home with something that you’re embarrassed to be seen with.

(Like a video tape set of “Polka Dancing Classics.”)

In life, we accept a lot of things that we don’t want. But instead of getting rid of them, we keep them.

We don’t want to be rude, or we’re too shy to say, “no thanks,” or some other reason we tell ourselves.

Sometimes we accept things from others that we don’t even realize.

Like most of our limiting beliefs.

Most everybody believes making money is hard. Not because they’ve gone out and done extensive testing, but because adults told them so.

The Jesuits were famous for saying “give me a child and by the time he’s seven, he’ll be a soldier for Christ.”

What this means is that kids will not only believe anything, but they’ll keep those ideas in their heads their entire lives.

Normally, this is OK. This is normal. This helped us survive many, many years ago.

But when ideas are passed on NOT because they are true, but ONLY because they were passed on, then that becomes a problem.

Most of us have plenty of these limiting beliefs. Most people don’t even question them. They just accept them.

Things like, “making money is hard,” or “speaking in public is scary,” or, “If I talk to strangers I’ll get rejected,” or the WORST of all:

“I’m not good enough.”

Like I said, most people don’t even know these exist, let alone know how to blast them away with the powerful light of truth.

How about you?

If you’re ready to not only uncover your limiting beliefs, but blast them to smithereens, check this out:

How To Make The Complicated Seem Familiar

Get A Bird's Eye View

Go Meta

One of the great things about humans is we are always trying to simplify things.

Take some kind of complex problem, and figure out how to solve is as easily as possible.

Physicists are always looking for some kind of “grand unifying theory,” one idea can be used to describe everything we see.

Even our conscious-unconscious minds are looking for ways to minimize effort.

This is the whole idea behind “unconscious competence,” when you can do something without much thought.

Like riding a bike (or playing an instrument or tying your shoes)  was once impossible. Then you could do it with a lot of conscious effort. Now you can do it while doing a million other things.

Any skill that we learn pretty much goes through the same process. Talking to girls, making money, learning a programming language, everything.

At first it’s difficult and confusing. Then, if you stick with it, it gets so you can get pretty good at it, while keeping your mind focused.

Then, if you really keep at it, you can do it without much thought. Just think of the things you can do now, that baffled you a while ago.

Of course, how quickly you learn any new skill depends on a lot of things. Your natural abilities in that area, how many people in your social reference group have already mastered it, etc.

Even if other people have done it can help.

For the longest time, nobody could break the 4 minute mile. Once one guy did, everybody started doing it.

Before, they believed it was impossible, then they believed it was possible.

As they believed, so it was. All the guys who broke the four minute mile AFTER the first guy did ONLY did so because their beliefs changed.

This is the ONE ingredient that will make learning ANY skill a lot easier.

One trick is to “go meta.”

Next time you start to learn something, instead of thinking of that “thing,” just think in terms of “learning new things.”

Taking making money for example. If you think of it as “making a ton of money,” it may seem difficult and out of read.

But if you think of it as “learning something new,” it will be a lot easier.

Because no matter who you are, or what you’ve accomplished, you’ve ALREADY learned TONS of complicated stuff.

What’s one more thing?

It’s really just like riding a bike. You get on, start pedaling, and adjust as you go, and “learn” while go.

To make it even easier, take a look at this:

Belief Change

How To Be One Who Makes Things Happen

Which One Are You?

Three Categories Of Actors

A wise man once said that there are three kinds of people in this world.

Those that make things happen.

Those that watch things happen.

And those who say, “What happened?”

Now, the funny thing is that all of us belong to all three groups at different times. Sometimes we make things happen. Sometimes we watch others make things happen. Other times we are blindsided by reality and have no clue what just happened.

Of course, how we respond in those situations will make all the difference.

You could rage and shake your fists at the gods, or you could make the best of the situation.

However, if you take a closer look at any group of people, you’ll find that certain “types” tend to be the ones that make things happen, certain “types” tend to be the ones that watch things happen, and other “types” are the kind who wander around wondering why they’re always getting crapped on.

One very popular theme in literature since the dawn of time (and a common theme in real life BAM’s like Genghis Kahn) is somebody who gets crapped on early in life, and vows to NEVER have that happen again.

Of course, how they do that will determine if they are remembered as an evil genius or a world class entrepreneur.

The bottom line is no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise, the world is going to do what the world is going to do.

How we respond will make us or break us.

You could hide in your closet, and curse the gods, or you could get in the mix and get some.

How do you do that?

It all starts with choosing what you want. This is something that you DO have absolute control over.

Next is to make the solid choice that you’ll GET whatever you want no matter WHAT.

You will operate in and on the world, take whatever it gives you, and flip it around somehow so it works in your favor.

Of course, this can be very, very tough for some people.

People who need some kind of step by step paint by numbers procedure will find this VERY discomforting.

In order to really GET SOME (whatever that means to you) you’ve got to be open to taking ANYTHING, that comes your way, and have enough faith in yourself, and your abilities, to flip it around into SOMETHING that will help you.

Kind of like those ultra ninja Aikido black belts who can easily redirect the energy in everything that comes their way.

It starts on the inside. 

If you’re worried you’ll get smothered by the continuous onslaught of reality, you will.

But if you believe you can take ANYTHING and make it YOURS, you will.

Learn how:

Belief Change

How To Get Science On Your Side

Science Can Solve Anything

Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist!

There’s a lot of new-agey type stuff that sounds pretty good, but also can be pretty useless.

I used to love the TV show, “X-Files,” primarily because in almost every episode, there was always both a scientific explanation, and a parapsychology explanation for what had happened.

One guy was chasing UFO’s and was always explaining things in terms of alien conspiracies.

His partner was an M.D. and was always explaining everything in terms of medical science.

Whenever it comes to things like law of attraction, personal achievement, or anything  similar, we MUST hold these ideas to the same standards.

Of course, EVERYTHING must be explained by science. Not necessarily science we can understand, but some kind of repeatable, scientific principles.

If we don’t believe in science, then we’re pretty much at the mercy of the gods of randomness.

And since the laws of physics, chemistry and biology appear to be pretty consistent, relying on randomness might not be a good idea.

On the other hand, sometimes science is so confusing that the best we can do is rely on over simplified metaphors to help us understand the underlying structure.

Unfortunately, if we get the metaphor “wrong” we may end up looking in the wrong place.

Sometimes we get stuck with a metaphor not because we think it will work, but because it sounds good, makes us feel special, and makes it seem like we don’t have to take any risks, or face any potential failure.

But as Dale Carnegie famously said, “The sure thing boat never gets too far from shore.”

This, of course, is a metaphor that describes life. If you insist in any proof or guarantee, you aren’t going to accomplish much.

Another famous “Carnegie-ism” is that “If you want the sweet fruit, you’ve got to go out on a limb.” Meaning if you are safely hugging the trunk of the tree, you won’t be able to reach very far.

Since most people are too terrified to go out on the thin branches, there’s not much within an arms reach of safety.

One of these metaphysical type statements is “When You Believe It, You’ll See It.”

What does this mean?

Now, most people think the opposite. They wait for proof, or a guarantee, and won’t believe anything unless they see it written up in the latest scientific journals.

But humans are very, very good at conning ourselves.

We see things that aren’t there, and we don’t see things that are right in front of us.

Cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias are just a couple of scientific examples that show this is true.

But think of what this means.

All those things you WISH were true CAN be true. All you’ve got to do is believe they are, THEN you will see the evidence.

Allowing YOU to get whatever you want.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety By Becoming The Sorter

They Pass Your Tests - Not The Other Way Around

See Beneath The Surface

Most guys are incredibly nervous when they approach girls. In fact, it can take years of practice to fully get over this.

And even guys who DO get over this, once they’re off the market for a while, their skills will go back to zero.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly tried the market, you may have felt WAY out of your league.

Why is this?

One of the reasons is all of the assumptions that guys make about girls. Since guys are hard wired to be attracted primarily to looks, we assume that if she’s cute, then every other part of her is good also.

Which means when we walk over there, we assume that SHE already passes our “tests” and it’s completely up to us to pass her tests.

This is enough to give ANYBODY the jitters, no matter WHAT it is your doing.

Luckily, the part about her looks being “good enough” is absolutely false.

And here’s a way to prove it to yourself, AND get over your approach anxiety faster than you ever could just by pushing through them.

This will take some time, but you’ll be gaining an EXTRAORDINARY amount of experience, AND decreasing your levels of anxiety significantly.

Here’s what you do.

First, come up with some deal breakers. Either pure red flags, (according to you, nobody else) or things you’d rather she didn’t have.

This must be personality traits, habits, beliefs, things that will take a little bit of conversation to get to.

Smoking, a certain religion or political affiliation, cat person (or dog person) anything that you don’t imagine your “Dream Girl” of having.

Then, simply talk to girls LONG ENOUGH to disqualify them. Don’t get ANY numbers.

After you go through ten or twenty girls, you’ll have a sudden burst of realization.

That there’s MUCH more to girls than just their looks.

And that will absolutely DESTROY any feelings of “she’s perfect and I must qualify myself to her.”

ALL without getting any rejection.

Now, it’s important to have a friendly attitude while doing this. Don’t get angry, don’t put them down (out loud or in your mind). Just talk to them long enough until you get a red flag.

Then simply disqualify them IN YOUR MIND, politely end the conversation, and walk away.

Once you leave the mindset of the desperate beggar, and enter the mindset of the sorter, it will get much, much easier.

This Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com