Category Archives: Thinking

Retrain Your Thinking

When I was younger, I played a lot of golf.

I had a set of hand-me-down clubs that I used.

One thing that I always did was slice. Meaning the ball would start going straight, then it would curve to the right.

It was so consistent that I would just aim left, and then my ball would curve back on track.

People I played with thought I was nuts.

After all, anybody could see what the problem was. Even me.

My grip was all wrong. All I needed to do was change my grip, and it would fix the problem.

The reason I never took the time to do that is because I was too lazy.

Going from something that feels natural, to something that feels unnatural, wasn’t something I was willing to do.

However, had I kept that “unnatural” feeling long enough, it would have become natural.

And my balls wouldn’t slice. They would go straight.

But since I wasn’t really serious about golfing, I didn’t see the point. It was easier just to aim left.

Changing thinking patterns often require the same amount of effort. We think one way, and it gets us a less than perfect result. So we compensate.

But if we change our thinking we can get a much better result.

Problem is that changing our thinking isn’t as easy as flipping a switch, as many people believe.

It’s just as hard as training in a new golf swing, or learning a new song by heart on any instrument.

Unfortunately, a lot of self-development courses tend to imply that new ways of thinking are “once and done.”

But in reality, new ways of thinking, especially if you’ve been thinking the “old way” for a while, can take some time to “feel natural.”

In the book Psycho Cybernetics, there’s an exercise where you tie your shoes backwards. Meaning when you tie the laces instead of going right over left, you go left over right (or whatever the opposite way is).

Something as simple as this takes a while getting used to.

How do you change your thinking?

A great way is by daily journaling. Take any situation where you didn’t “act” or “behave” like you wanted to.

Then rewrite that situation, as if you behaved the way you DID want to.

Then visualize that NEW situation for a minute or two.

If you did this every day, you’d soon be thinking in much more resourceful ways. Which means you’d be behaving in a way that would get you a lot more of what you want, and a lot less of what you didn’t want.

The Interpersonal Resonance book is filled with simple but extremely powerful exercises that you can do on daily basis, so you can rebuild your communication skills from the ground up.

Going from where you are now, to an outgoing, charismatic communicator that people can’t get enough of.

Get Started:

Interpersonal Resonance

How To Practice Thinking

No matter what you’d like to accomplish, you’ll need skills.

If you want to cook a turkey, you’ll need to understand how to operate an oven.

If you want to get a degree, there’s a lot of ideas and information you’ll need to become comfortable with.

Some skills are very specific, some are general.

Some are things that people don’t realize are skills, since we do them naturally.

Communication is an example.

Since most people know how to “talk” and how to have a conversation, it’s really not seen as a skill, more like an inherent ability.

We tend to think some people are “good” at it, while others aren’t so good.

If you met some guy or gal that was really “good” at talking to people and making them feel good about themselves, you’d just think they were “naturals.”

On the other hand, if you saw some guy on the corner playing the violin really proficiently, you’d assume that he simply spent a lot of time practicing.

Of course, ANYTHING that you do can be improved. Talking, walking, persuading, tell jokes.

But for some reason, we don’t associate “practice” with certain things.

One of these is “thinking.”

We just do it automatically. We don’t even “think” about “thinking” as something we can change. We assume it’s something that just “happens.”

But your thoughts are (or can be) under your control. It just takes practice.

After all, you “become” what you “think about” most of the time.

If you are always thinking about scary stuff, and the worst possible thing that can happen, you won’t likely be super outgoing and adventurous.

On the other hand, if are always wondering what cool things you’re about to discover, you may be more likely to try new things, which will get you a lot different results than the first person.

However, when most people try it “change” the way they think, they do it once, maybe twice.

And when it doesn’t “work” they just figure they can’t “do” that.

But what if you tried to juggle ONCE, and determined you just weren’t a juggler?

What if you sat down at the piano ONCE, and tried a song, and then determined you just can’t play the piano?

What if you decided to go jogging for the first time in your life, and could only make it half a kilometer before you got tired out, and concluded that you just weren’t a “jogger”?

Pretty silly, right?

But that’s what people do when they try and “change” their “thinking.”

They try it once, it doesn’t “work” and they figure it’s all nonsense.

But if you PRACTICE thinking “right thoughts” like you’d practice juggling, or playing the piano, or learning a new instrument, you’d slowly get better.

And in six months or so, your thoughts AND your life, would be completely different.

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How To Resonate With Others

Upgrade Your Brain

The English language is packed with metaphors.

Language itself is an interesting concept.

Evolution moves pretty slowly. It’s not like one day there were a bunch of monkeys standing around throwing bananas at each other, and out popped some human elegantly spinning tales of wonder.

Chimps have basic language and signs.

Another interesting thing is that we all have three brains. Our reptile brain, or mammal brain and our neo-cortex (new brain).

Unfortunately, when Mother Nature (or whoever) decides to upgrade our brains, it’s not like getting a software upgrade. They don’t remove old components and replace them with new components.

Brain upgrades get put on top of old software. So we’ve still got all that primitive junk under a very thin layer of new brain.

How does this affect language?

Well, every time we use a noun, we HAVE to use it as if it’s a REAL OBJECT, even if it isn’t.

Like when we say, “In a meeting.” There’s really no such thing as a meeting. Sure, there’s a meeting room, a table, a bunch of chairs, and the people. But the “meeting” itself is really just a shared hallucination. A description of what’s going on.

Technically is called a “nominalization.” A noun (meeting) made from a verb (to meet).

But when we use “meeting,” we HAVE to use it AS IF it were a real thing.

What kind of thing?

Well, we say “in” a meeting, so we think of it like a container.

Like “in” love. Or “in” our cars.

So if we say “in” our cars, why do we say “on” the plane, or “on” the bus, or “on” the train?

Aren’t those containers as well? Not how we think of them. We think of them as vehicles. And our old brains imagine a vehicle to be something you ride “on.” Like “on” the horse.

Metaphors can be helpful, but they can also make us imagine life is much simpler than it really is.

Like the “law of attraction” for example. All you have to do is “radiate” something on some “frequency” and you’ll attract that same “stuff.”

Sounds great, but also sounds pretty vague.

How EXACTLY do you “resonate?”

Sure, it works with magnets. But magnets are very, very simple. Made up of simple components.

YOU are incredibly complex. Filled with thing scientists don’t dare question, as they are WAY beyond human understanding.

The good news is you don’t need to know exactly HOW it works.

All you need to do is figure out what you want, and keep checking if you’re getting closer or not.

AND when you ask questions in the right way, it will DRAMATICALLY accelerate the process.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance