Tag Archives: Confidence

How To Get Insane Confidence

They say girls like a guy with “confidence.”

But what the heck does this mean?

First of all, there are plenty of kinds of confidence.

You might be VERY confident that you can make a cheese sandwich, but very UN-confident that you can play Beethoven on the piano.

Some people say you need to be confident around people.

That’s better than making a cheese sandwich (at least from her eyes) but it’s not quite the whole story.

Plenty people are VERY confident around their buddies, but freeze up around strangers.

So maybe being confident around strangers is what they mean.

Some salespeople are EXTREMELY confident since they talk to strangers all day, but they can’t get a girl’s number to save their life.

Now we’re getting closer.

The “confidence” they mean when they say “girls like a guy with confidence” is the confidence to talk COMFORTABLY to girls.

Not just her, but ALL girls.

Girls SAY they like guys with confidence.

But they are also INSANELY attracted to guys who are confident not just with her, but with ALL GIRLS.

If you’re ONLY confident with her, but collapse into a pile of mush around other girls, you won’t be a challenge to her. She’ll feel like she “has” you, and this will kill her attraction.

So when she sees you confident talking to ALL girls, she KNOWS she’s got to work to get you.

And this makes her VERY attracted to you, whether she likes it or not.

So, the million dollar question:

How, exactly, do you GET confident with all girls?

There’s a pretty easy way to practice. To ease your way there. To become INSANELY confident with ALL girls without EVER leaving your comfort zone.

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Social Conditioning Skills

The other night I watched a sci fi movie on Netflix

Maybe you’ve seen it.

It’s called, “Paycheck,” with Ben Affleck.

He was an engineer, and he and his partner had an interesting way for him to take lucrative freelance jobs.

He’d go to a company, help them invent some new product, and they’d pay him.

And then his partner would erase the portion of his memory, so he couldn’t divulge the secret information to other companies.

But in the beginning, they showed him practicing some kind of martial art.

Even though he wasn’t a fighter, and the movie hadn’t gotten to the part where he had to USE any kind of “fighting,” it made sense.

If you are going to be a scientist and have portions of your brain wiped periodically, you need to stay in “fighting shape.”

Most people recognize that “staying in shape” is important.

Most sports can be improved if you have more endurance.

Boxing, basketball, tennis, even bowling or golf are easier if you’re in good shape.

Any lots of endurance-heavy sports like boxing or basketball sometimes come down to which athlete is in better shape.

Once you are too tired to lift your arms to block a punch, your boxing skills won’t count for much.

Kind of like Mark Twain’s truism about reading.

The difference between somebody who CAN’T read and the difference between somebody who WON’T read is NOTHING.

The difference between a boxer who CAN’T lift his arms due to fatigue, and a boxer who doesn’t KNOW HOW to lift his arms is nothing.

Both are going to get punched in the face.

What’s the best “conditioning” for “life skills?”

Social confidence.

Public speaking, debating, even acting skills can often boil down to who’s got the most confidence, not the best skills.

Even before George Clooney became world famous, and had to go to auditions like other struggling actors, he said confidence was WAY more important than skill.

Robin Williams started out in a TV show called “Mork and Mindy.”

(About an alien named Mork).

How did he get the part?

He showed up at the audition and ACTED like an “alien” the whole time.

When he was waiting, he actually sat in his chair upside down.

That’s not an advanced acting trick.

That’s advanced CONFIDENCE.

The more CONFIDENCE you have, the easier life is.

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Calmly Speak Your Desires

Most people wish they were more assertive.

In fact, most people misunderstand being assertive.

They often confuse it with being aggressive, or being belligerent.

And as I’m sure you know, all of us have shades of both passiveness and aggressiveness.

However, what really IS assertive behavior?

Well, it’s being able to “assert” something.

And what does THAT mean?

Simply stating what’s on your mind, or asking for what you want.

But it ALSO means allowing the OTHER PERSON to be assertive as well.

Say you see an interesting person. You’d like their phone number.

An example of assertive behavior would simply be to walk up, express that you think they are interesting, and ask for their phone number so you can get in touch with them later on. To know more about them. Because they are interesting.

Now, imagine doing that. Imagine walking up and saying that.

“Hi, I just noticed you standing there, and I thought you looked pretty interesting. I’m pretty busy right now, but how about if you give me your phone number, so I can call you later and we can meet up and hang out?”

Or something similar.

Of course, most people wouldn’t THINK of doing this. That is TERRIFYING!

But on another level, you probably realize that if you DID do this, and could say it with complete calmness and confidence, you’d get a lot of good results.

So how can you get to this level of calmness and confidence?

(And in case your wondering, you can substitute sales, or talking to your boss, or discussing difficult things with your partner, etc.)

The GOOD NEWS is that “assertiveness” is a transferable skill.

Like your chest muscles. If you work your chest muscles, ANYTHING physical you do, that involves your chest muscles will be easier.

Assertiveness works the same way.

To get better, all you’ve got to do is practice.

Any time you have an idea, an opinion, a desire, simply state it. Don’t force it on others. Don’t be belligerent with it, just state it as a FACT.

It’s raining out.

Today is cloudy.

I ate a cheeseburger last night.

I grew up in a one story house.

I’d like your phone number.

I didn’t like that movie.

I think that mustard and pizza go great together.

Don’t EXPECT agreement, but don’t EXPECT disagreement.

After all, you’re saying something that is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. For You.

Always look for opportunities to “strengthen” your assertiveness muscle.

Keep score. Write how many times you did it per day.

Try and keep a slightly increasing daily average.

And watch how easy it gets.

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