Tag Archives: interpersonal skills

How To Match Their Wavelength

Get On Their Wavelength

A lot of scientific principles are intuitive.

Not that we know the equations and underlying theory, but as operational humans, we “get” how things work.

Like throwing a baseball, for example.

Physics tells us that the optimum angle is 45 degrees if we want to get the maximum distance.

But kids know this intuitively, by trial and error.

Another one is the idea of resonance.

All systems have a certain “frequency” about which they normally vibrate.

And if you “behave” in this same “frequency” you’ll get the most bang for your buck.

Like little kids on swings. They learn quickly to swing their legs at the same frequency as the swing, and they get some pretty high amplitudes.

Sometimes this is not appropriately understood, with horrible results.

A group of solders were marching across a bridge, in cadence, and their marching cadence was the same frequency as the bridge. And it collapsed.

When you’re having a conversation with somebody, getting “in tune” with them feels fantastic. Like you are on the same page, or even the same “wavelength.”

Most people think that this happens randomly. Haphazardly. Talk to enough people, and a small enough percentage will have that “in synch” feeling.

Of course, if you approach others with this mindset, it WILL be a numbers game.

Meaning if you go up and blurt out a bunch of stuff, and hope it “works.”

But if you do the opposite, you’ll have a much HIGHER chance of creating that feeling of resonance.

Instead of blurting out a bunch of stuff, you ask them some questions. Easy to answer questions. Simple questions. Then slowly expand.

Once you get enough information, about what makes them tick, then the “stuff” that you “blurt out” will be much more “in tune” with them.

And you’ll be able to create that feeling of resonance with almost anybody.

What would you be able to do then?

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Generate Overlapping Interests Between Conversational Partners

Overlap Their Desires With Yours

Pretty much everything can be thought of as a mix of two extremes.

Like sweet or salty. I like salty food more often than not.

But once in while I like to eat something sweet. Too much and it’s not good any more.

In NLP there are all kinds of “Meta Programs” that are these filters through which we see the world.

And like everything else, they can be thought of in “extremes” but most of us have a mix.

Like you can be motivated to move away from fear, or toward pleasure.

If you are too much of one, it will cause trouble.

Most of us are maybe 1/3 of the way from either end.

Another thing is how people make decisions.

One the hand, there are people that simply cannot decide unless somebody tells them exactly what to do.

On the other hand, there are people that absolutely NEED to be the decision maker in every single situation.

Clearly, both are kind of lame.

But most of us are a mix of both, usually more one than the other.

If you are interested in self development, taking an active role in improving your life, or have even thought about doing things differently, then chances are you are more “internally motivated” than “externally motivated.”

Meaning you’re likely more of a self starter than somebody who needs to have somebody tell you what to do 24-7.

It’s good to know what these filters are if you ever need to persuade anybody.

Andy whenever you talk to anybody about anything, there’s usually some persuasion going on.

Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little.

Now, you could spend a lot of time reverse engineering somebody’s “meta models” until you have them wired down completely.

Then you could present your ideas to them to fit into their “model of the world.”

There are consulting companies that make lots of money doing this for clients and employees.

But there is a MUCH easier way.

Just ask.

I know, simple, right?

But if you ask people what they want, (which most people NEVER do), they’ll usually be happy to tell you.

Then just figure out a way to present your idea so that it matches what they want.

This is MUCH easier than most people think.

Why?

Because most people think in very vague terms. Few are walking around with a specific idea of what they want.

Then you take THEIR vague desires, and match them with yours (vague or specific, it really doesn’t matter) by using the SPECFICALLY VAGUE language patterns of covert hypnosis.

This is ESPECIALLY easy when you’re using these patterns on people you already know. Even just casually.

Because you already sort of “know” what makes them tick. What they want. What makes them happy.

So when you talk to them using these patterns, YOUR ideas will seem like THEIR ideas.

Which means no matter WHAT they reference (internal or external) it will make perfect sense.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis