Tag Archives: metaphor

How To Become Master Of The Universe

One famous expression or “truism” from NLP is “The map is not the territory.”

What does this mean?

Any map of reality we have is not reality itself.

We perceive the world through a very small window.

We only consciously see one out of every 25,000 bits of information.

If you count all the data hitting all of our senses, that’s how the ratio breaks down.

Our “pre-conscious processor” has to figure out what’s important, and what’s not important.

It also keeps us safe as best it can.

Unfortunately, it follows the “better safe than sorry” strategy.

Which is why we jump at shadows, an unexpected hand on our shoulder, even if the doorbell rings.

It also keeps us oblivious to things that MIGHT be dangerous.

Some things like snakes and vampires are PURE danger. So our pre-conscious processor forces them into our awareness so we an run.

But some things are only dangerous if we INTERACT with them.

So just to play it safe, it doesn’t allow us to even notice them.

Which means that most of us are working with incomplete and distorted maps of reality.

Our maps filter our own fears and biases.

Whenever we describe reality metaphorically, this is also a map.

Like, for example, in the LOA, they say “radiate your desires and the universe will provide them.”

Clearly, this is pretty vague. It sounds cool, but it doesn’t explain exactly HOW to do that.

How does one radiate, anyhow? And where exactly in the VAST UNIVERSE will our “desires” be provided? Somewhere out by Saturn? Jupiter?

I take this to mean by “radiating” we share our desires. We talk about them, plan them, take steps to make them happen. Demonstrate to the world that we are actively building them.

What about the “Universe?” Do we need to build a spaceship to go out and get our stuff?

I take “The Universe” to mean all the other people we interact with.

Unfortunately, if your preconscious processor is keeping you from noticing those same people, (because part of you doesn’t feel totally confident around strangers) you’ll be missing out on a LOT of opportunity.

Luckily, if you shift your mind slightly so you have a more ACCURATE map of reality, life will be a lot more fulfilling.

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How To Click With Anybody

You know a relationship (either with a friend or a lover) is in a good place when you can sit in silence without needing to say anything.

A long time ago, a buddy of mine and I went to Vegas, driving from LA.

We took two cars, he took his girlfriend, and she brought a friend.

Her friend rode with me, and it was kind of awkward.

Sometimes you click with people, and sometimes you don’t.

Having to sit with somebody you don’t click with for a four hour drive through the desert is not the ideal way to pass the time.

Being able to click with more people is certainly a benefit.

Job interviews, parties where you don’t know a lot of people, new coworkers, etc.

All of these situations will go a lot smoother if you click more easily with other people.

Luckily, this is pretty easy.

Most people get nervous, try talking about themselves, and HOPE that they have something in common with the other person.

But it’s much easier just to sit back and let the other person talk.

Of course, most people won’t do this on their own.

They need encouragement.

But once you get them going, it’s easy to find plenty in common.

You can think of it for looking for two specific things.

One is something they enjoy talking about.

Hobbies, their job (if they like it) any big plans they have for their future.

The second is things that you have in common.

Now, most people when they are looking for things in common, they look for “content” things.

Like the same music, the same movies, the same favorite restaurants, etc.

But if you go up one logical level, you’ll have a LOT more in common with a LOT more people.

Say they were a political science major, and they’re talking about how they made a huge mistake when giving a speech in class.

Even if you’ve never been to college, you can find a similar “structural event” in your past.

Any kind of goof you made in front of other people.

That way, even though you have different educational backgrounds, different interests, you’ll have created a connection based on similar experiences.

This requires that you are relaxed and confident enough to sit back and ask the right questions in the right order.

But once you get the hang of it, you can “click” with pretty much anybody.

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No More Fighting!

There’re basically three things humans do when we get together.

This is just as true now as it was back in the stone age.

We fight, we trade or we have sex.

And you can think of sex and trade as really part of the same thing.

In fact, all human relationships are based on trade.

Most of the time, it’s subconscious.

You act naturally, and the person you’re with (buddy or lover) acts naturally.

But if you are both satisfying each other’s needs, that’s when you “hit it off.”

Sometimes it’s partially conscious, partially unconscious.

Colleagues, clients, and other times we interact with people and are on some level trying to “behave a certain way.”

To the extent you can interact with a wide variety of people in a wide variety of ways, you’ll make a lot of friends and make a lot of money.

Unfortunately, for most of us, it takes a long time to “warm up” to somebody.

And just as unfortunately, many of those opportunities don’t give us as much time as we’d like to “warm up enough” to take advantage of those opportunities.

Like that job interview that didn’t go so well, yet the more you think about it, the more things you realize you COULD have said.

Or that cute person you saw, WANTED to talk to, but they left before you got a chance.

Any wonder why there’s that section on Craigslist?

The truth is that no human on Earth is satisfied with their interpersonal skills.

This doesn’t mean that we all suck.

It means that there’s no upper limit to your social skills.

Every single person you talk to will be different, and you’ll need slightly different skills.

Even the same people you talk to over and over are slightly different every time.

No matter WHAT your goals are in life, (even if you’re main goal is to get some goals) they’ll be much easier with more people skills.

They’re the grease that makes society function.

And the better you can slip in and out of conversations with different people, the more success you’ll have.

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Cut Yourself Loose

When I was in high school, I loved science, but my math sucked.

Because I sucked at math, every time I thought about science I had a mix of positive appreciation and negative anxiety.

Then later in college, I went through the same scenario as I kept going through tougher and tougher physics courses.

But once I’d figured out the math, I could enjoy the science without any negative anxiety.

I would actually watch these beginning physics shows on TV. My roommates thought I was crazy, but for me it was pretty cool.

I’m sure you’ve heard the metaphor about the elephant.

When he was a kid, they kept him tied up. But when he was fully grown, they removed the rope.

But since he’d been conditioned to believe the limitations (the rope) was there, when they removed it he never went outside that small circle.

Even though the rope was gone, his belief that it was still there kept him trapped in that small circle.

When you were very young, you were very outgoing. Socially fearless. If something was wrong, you would scream your brains out.

If you were happy, you would laugh your brains out.

But then the adults starting putting those constraints on you. To keep you quiet. To keep you from causing problems.

This happens to all of us.

But here we are as adults, and those constraints aren’t there any more.

But just like the elephant, because we BELIEVE they are there, we act as if they ARE there.

The elephant my think about going outside his circle, he may WANT to go outside his circle, but his fear of the rope keeps him stuck.

Fortunately, we humans are a bit smarter than elephants. We can look back and understand that our situations when we were kids are MUCH DIFFERENT than they are now.

There is NO NEED to feel any social fear at all. No logical reason.

But just knowing this doesn’t help. Because our fears operate on a subconscious level.

And only by going down and rearranging them, and then coming back up, can we live life without any social fear or anxiety whatsoever.

Once you’re able to cut yourself loose from the false fears programmed into your brain when you were a toddler, life will be fun and exciting.

You’ll be able to act without fear, behave and communicate in any way you want, and create the life you desire.

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How to Always Beat Expectations

I remember when I saw the movie, “Stargate,” for the first time.

I read a review when it came out, before I saw it.

The review said it sucked, so when I went to see it, I expected a crappy movie.

But it turned out to be a cult favorite with tons of spin offs.

Now, it certainly wasn’t a GREAT movie. But it was better than I expected.

When a company reports it’s quarterly or yearly earnings, it’s the same situation.

The stock price goes up or down not on the ABSOLUTE earnings (or more technically, earnings per share or EPS) but whether or not the EPS is BETTER or WORSE than expectations.

A company that reports EPS of $.10 when everybody only expected $.05 will generally shoot through the roof.

Where a company that reports $1.25 when everybody was expecting $1.50, the stock will tank.

Even in the stereotypical story of a young, in experienced person with HUGE dreams, an older, more experienced person will tell them it’s simply not possible.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

“Why are you trying to crush my dreams?”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to get hurt. To try and fail. I’m protecting you.”

Clearly, our expectations about the reality around us are absolutely crucial.

If you walk down the street expecting to find bags of money, you’ll be disappointed.

But if you’re just expecting to have a nice stroll on a sunny day, and you find a dollar bill, it will feel pretty cool.

One of the ways we mess ourselves up is if we have very VAGUE expectations.

Like “I hope something good happens,” or even worse, “I hope nothing BAD happens.”

Then no matter WHAT happens, it’s not good enough.

But what happens if you have vague expectations that ALWAYS come true?

Like, “I’m about to learn something interesting.”

So you go and do something, not really sure what’s going to happen, but sure that it will be useful information.

How do you do this?

You need to practice.

You have to have EXPERIENCE learnings from every interaction.

This is why DAILY JOURNALING is crucial.

Write down what you did, write down what happened, write down what you learned. Then write down how you can maybe use this information.

It’s also very helpful, and much more powerful, if you have some BIG life goals you’re pursuing.

Money, relationships, career, health, family, living conditions, etc.

So you can see EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION with reality as getting more information that you can use to help you get closer.

Then every action you take will be less scary, less worrisome, less anxious.

And it will FEEL more like a step in the right direction, no matter what happens.

This is one the things you’ll learn in the FEARLESS Ebook.

Get Yours:

Fearless

Customize Your Brain

When I was in high school I went to this party.

I’m not sure what the occasion was, but there was a mix of kids and adults.

I don’t even remember if it was a kid party with a bunch of grownups, or a grownup party with a bunch of kids.

Anyhow, I was in the garage, and I noticed the homeowner had a car covered up.

But it was a pretty small car.

After a few questions, the owner (of the home and the car) came out and took off the cover.

I don’t even remember what kind of car it was (I was never a “car guy”) only that was a little red convertible.

And he was spending his free time customizing it, down to the super cool looking dash board, with all kinds of gauges and dials.

One thing that struck me was how this guy lit up with enthusiasm when he was describing it. Something he was obviously passionate about.

Most people buy a car, and they’re good. They may put down some custom mats, or maybe even put something cool on the dash, but that’s about it with how much people “customize” their cars.

Most people use their brains the same way.

They figure they’ll use their “stock model” without doing any custom work to it.

Sure, they’ll go to school, like everybody else.

Fill it up with enough data to pass the next test, like everybody else.

Then get a job, like everybody else.

And show up on time, and do what they’re told, like everybody else.

That strategy works, until it doesn’t.

Then what?

What happens if you want to do something, and you look upside your brain for a strategy, and come back with nothing?

What happens if you (gasp!) have to try something you’ve NEVER done before, in an attempt to get your needs met, but your factory-setting brain says, “No way, dude!”

You could vacillate, like everybody else.

You could look for somebody to blame, like everybody else.

Or you could do something different.

You could get started TODAY learning how to customize your brain.

How to practice thinking, so the when the inevitable situation comes up, you won’t be stuck.

You’ll take action, leaving everybody in the dust.

How do you do that?

Here’s How:

Fearless

Flip The Switch On Negative Cycles

There’s plenty of circles in the world.

Or cycles if you prefer.

Earth around the sun, moon around the Earth. Tides up and down.

Our lives also have cycles. Good days, bad days.

But sometimes we can get “stuck” in a self-fulfilling cycle.

Or the opposite, which is AWESOME.

The bad one is called a “vicious circle.” The good one is called a “virtuous circle.”

Like when you’re “on,” you get FANTASTIC results.

Which spurs you to try new things. Which gets you even MORE on, so you try even BETTER things.

This is that wonderful momentum where just taking action, REGARDLESS of the result, is an end in and of itself.

Since you’ve started to associate any ACTION with the mostly POSITIVE results you’re getting, you start to FEEL GOOD simply by taking action.

Which, of course, makes it much more likely that action will yield even more positive results.

The opposite, is pretty much opposite in every way.

You fall flat on your face every time (or at least it feels that way).

So even taking action starts to SUCK. Which means you’re scared WHILE taking action, which makes it almost guaranteed you’ll FAIL (or not get what you think).

Go to any message board regarding ANY type of self improvement, and you’ll see TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE.

People that are in a VICIOUS CIRCLE and think the world sucks.

And those who are in a VIRTUOUS CIRCLE, and think the world is AWESOME.

(These two types fight quite often, btw.)

Two types of people in the SAME WORLD having a completely different experience.

The WORST thing about being in a vicious circle is it SEEMS like you continuously PROVE that the world sucks.

But remember this: What The Thinker Thinks, The Prover Proves.

You think the world is the way it is, THEN you go out and PROVE that it’s like that.

But since there are SO MANY variables out there, you can pretty much prove anything.

Like certain congressman are really reptiles.

Or demons come and rape you every night.

Or whatever.

So, HOW do you break out of that vicious circle, and start to get the VIRTUOUS CIRCLE going?

Use the same rule. What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.

Now it takes time, it’s like spinning in one direction.

You’ve got to SLOW DOWN first, and then SLOWLY start to spin in the other direction.

First you need to REFRAME events as they happen, from bad to good.

Then you need to START VERY SLOW taking action, and EXPECTING SUCCESS.

Then REFRAME whatever happens as good FEEDBACK that will help you next time.

Do plenty of journaling, and plenty of mental exercises.

It takes time, but it is WELL worth it.

Learn How Here:

Fearless

Re Wire Your Fears

I’ll never forget the first time I went skydiving.

It was about an hour drive to the jump place. All the way out I was secretly hoping we’d get into a car crash so we wouldn’t have to go.

The first split second I jumped out of the plane, I was pretty out-of-my-head terrified.

But the next sixty seconds (free fall) was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever experienced.

They say that’s one way to get over your fears.

“Feel it and do it anyway.”

And they are right. Truth is that most of our fears are false. So if we just FORCE ourselves through that, we’ll notice the fear is not there. The experience can be exhilarating, or it could be boring.

But who the heck wants to FORCE themselves through their fear?

Sure it works, but just because it works doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

Yeah, on the other side of your fears are your greatest resources. Your greatest strengths.

There’s that old story that the gods who created us hid our greatest powers behind our fears, since that’s the last place we’d look.

(I guess the gods didn’t want the competition.)

But still, who the heck wants to make a daily habit out of getting into a brawl with your inner demons?

We’re hard wired to NOT do stuff like that unless we feel our lives are dependent on it.

(or we’re afraid of wimping out in front of our buddies).

Is there another way?

There sure is.

See, our fears are based on FALSE assumptions. A lot of them. We imagine doing something, and then our lighting bast brain imagines the WORST possible outcome. Then delivers a horrible feeling to keep us from doing what we want to do.

This keeps up from realizing that WORST possible outcome (that we didn’t even know about since it happens below conscious awareness).

The trick is to RE-WIRE your brain, so that when you think of doing something, instead of your lighting fast reptile brain automatically going to the WORST possible outcome, it either goes to the BEST one, (giving you a really POSITIVE feeling) or a more likely, neutral outcome.

Think of it like a circuit. One wire splitting into two wires. At the end of each wire is a possible outcome. One good, one bad.

But since our brain’s PRIME DIRECTIVE is to keep us safe, the “wire” leading to the WORST outcome is a lot thicker. So our brain impulse more easily travels down THAT wire to the WORST outcome.

But by taking the time to BUILD UP the BEST possible outcome, so that wire is AS THICK as the “fear” wire, you’ll have a more realistic imagined outcome. Meaning BOTH WIRES will be “checked” by your brain impulse, and you’ll have a more neutral feeling.

There are plenty of ways to do this.

You’ll find them all here:

Fearless

Who’s Running Your Show?

There’s a lot of patterns from hypnosis that have made their way into sales.

One of them is the “double bind.”

Milton Erickson, the guy who invented covert hypnosis, and upon which a lot of NLP was based, was famous for this “famous” one.

Somebody would come into his office to be hypnotized.

But since hypnosis requires that you give over control of your mind to some guy you’ve just met, a lot of people are understandably nervous.

So Erickson would say, “Would you rather go into trance in the blue chair or the green chair?

Meaning either choice would end up with him going into a trance.

Salespeople use this a lot. If somebody calls you to make an appointment, they may say, “Which is better for you, Thursday afternoon or Friday evening?” Meaning either choice leads to an appointment, which is what they want.

Sometimes this is called a “false choice.”

You’ll see this crop up in normal life all the time.

One is how humans behave.

We have TONS of instincts that drive our behavior. Take eating for example. No matter what, we have to eat.

But we can choose what we eat, and how much we eat.

Even if you DON’T choose, you’re kind of letting your inner caveman choose for you.

And he or she doesn’t necessarily make the best decisions.

Because your inner caveman can’t really see too far into the future. They can only see what’s right here, right now.

Only conscious practice can you MANAGE all of your instincts, to consciously CREATE a life, rather than going on autopilot.

Even autopilot behavior can be “managed,” but first it must be “created.”

For example, if you ONLY filled your fridge with healthy food, you would no longer need to consciously choose what you ate. You’d just eat whenever you felt like it, but since took the time to PLAN how you’d fulfill your instincts, you’d be better off.

This is just one example, of course.

Think of what you could do if you could successfully manage ALL of your instincts?

One thing everybody has inside them is an “imagination and comparison” machine that is ALWAYS ON.

Meaning that “part” of you is always measuring your current state, and then trying to imagine a better state.

This is why you are always shifting. Always moving. Always have that deep desire.

If you don’t choose HOW you will fulfill your desire, you’re caveman will. Or somebody else will by manipulating that inner caveman.

Back to the double bind.

Are you going to choose, or are you going to let somebody else choose?

Are you going to build your life or let somebody else manipulate you into helping THEM build THEIRS?

Your inner caveman can be your best friend, or your worst enemy.

Which will you choose?

Learn More:
Mind Persuasion Ebooks

Claim The World As Yours

I used to have this weird freezer.

It was at the perfect temperature for a cool effect.

If I put an opened bottle of water in there, it wouldn’t freeze.

But as soon as I took it out, and twisted off the cop, it would freeze in about a second.

It was right at the “phase transition” temperature of liquid to solid.

All it needed was a little air, and movement, and instant ice.

Phase transitions happen a lot. Not just in matter (gas to liquid, liquid to solid, etc.) but in different levels of complexity.

For example, when you move from the stage of “conscious competence” to “unconscious competence.”

When something you’ve been studying or practicing for a long time drops down into your subconscious.

On a conscious level, it feels like magic.

This was the secret of both “Karate Kid” movies.

He trained a boringly repetitive skill until it became automatic.

If you’ve ever learned an instrument, it’s a pretty good feeling.

You’ve been practicing, with a LOT of frustration, and then you finally “get it.”

You can play the piece “by heart” without needing to think.

The trouble with most things we would like to accomplish in life is they require a certain degree of skill.

And those skills take practice.

They aren’t instant.

Only in our world of “instant gratification” things are often taught AS IF we really CAN learn them instantly.

Especially in the world of “self development.” There are TONS of books that give you certain “ideas” or different “frames” or “models.” But unless you PRACTICE those ideas or frames or models, it’s really not that different than reading a book on how to play the piano, without ever really practicing.

This is good news. Because all it takes is a few minutes of daily practice.

You won’t become a super-genius overnight, (at whatever skill you’d like) but it WILL happen, so long as you are persistent.

Unfortunately, most people are NOT persistent. They try once, maybe twice, and then give up.

World class athletes and musicians KNOW that the TRUE SECRET of mastering ANYTHING is daily practice.

Not when it’s convenient, or when you feel like it.

But every single day.

Whatever skills you’d like, to create WHATEVER you’d like ARE within your grasp.

So long as you are willing to do what it takes.

Ten, twenty minutes a day, and the world is yours.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion Ebooks