Tag Archives: modeling

Stop Waiting and Start Doing

When you were a little kid, you learned by copying.

And if you’ve ever had kids, or are ever around them, you know they tend to copy whatever you do.

Sometimes it’s cute, sometimes it’s embarrassing.

Even for most of human history, most “learning” came from copying.

If you wanted to learn a trade, for example, you had to find somebody that would let you be their apprentice.

Slowly learn the trade, all the ins and outs, and how to do “it” as well as them.

This forms the basis of NLP modeling.

You find somebody that does what you want to do, and then “model” them, which is basically copy them.

Only you have to copy EVERYTHING.

Their beliefs, attitudes, history, EVERYTHING.

Naturally, the more complicated the skills required, the more difficult it is to copy them.

One thing that you will NEVER get rid of is the NEED to make mistakes.

Because no matter WHO you are modeling, they can’t have achieved any level of success without a SIGNIFICANT amount of trial and error. Or as they say in NLP, “Trial and Feedback.”

Unfortunately, many people like to be told EXACTLY what to do in hopes it will relieve them from making ANY mistakes.

“I’m ready for success! I’m open to receive! Just TELL ME what to do and I’ll do it!”

But they discover the “secret” is to simply keep trying until they get it right, they don’t like this idea so much.

Sure, modeling can help. It can accelerate the process. But being willing to accept any “result” no matter how “good” or “bad” is required for any kind of real success.

Which may be the reason why most people are always looking for the next “big secret.”

They’d rather wait they’re ENTIRE LIVES for somebody to tell them what to do than simply make a move and see what happens.

Sure, this can be terrifying. But also incredibly liberating. As you’ve likely realized from time to time, most of our deepest fears NEVER materialize.

So when you do “wing it” just to “see what happens,” it’s rarely even close to what you feared the most.

And every single time you try something, and accept whatever happens as valuable feedback, you WILL learn something.

Sure, often times you’ll learn what NOT to do, but you’ll also get experience.

And a deep KNOWING that trying and “failing” isn’t so bad.

It can be kind of fun.

So long as you have a clear idea of where you’d like to be EVENTUALLY, and the persistency to keep going no matter what, you’ll not only get there, but have a lot of fun in the meantime.

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How Long Do These Take To Learn?

When you were a little kid, learning was easy.

Since it happened automatically, you didn’t have to think about it.

You just kept trying to do something until you could do it.

This is how all humans learned, until very recently.

When we try this as adults, it’s called “modeling.”

Meaning we see somebody doing something we’d like to do, and then try and copy them.

Unfortunately, it’s not always so easy.

Because not only do you have to DO what they do, you also have to NOT DO what they DON’T do.

This is the missing ingredient if you’ve been trying to “learn” from gurus who promise to “show you step by step to get what I’ve done.”

Now sometimes, this is easy. If you’re copying somebody’s cake-baking technique, for example.

Because when YOU operate on the ingredients, they will respond the same way they do when THEY operate on the ingredients.

It doesn’t matter WHO puts the batter in the oven. So long a the batter is prepared the same way, and the oven is the right temperature, you’ll get the same cake.

But often times we’re copying people who have been INTERACTING with a certain environment. And unless YOU are interacting in the same environment in the same way, you’ll get a different result.

Let’s say you wanted to study acting. And you copied the precise movements speech patterns of the most famous stage actors around.

So much so you were EXACTLY the same.

But unless you could reproduce the same audience, with the same expectations, you’ll get a different result.

It’s sort like that old saying, “You can’t step in the same river twice.”

Only it’s WAY more complicated. No matter how much you model somebody, you’ll ALWAYS be operating within a slightly different environment.

Does this mean modeling is useless? Not at all.

It just means that you need to model a meta-skill, rather than surface skill.

What does this mean?

Let’s say you memorized a boxing match from Mike Tyson. You copied his EXACT punches, at the EXACT time.

Obviously, this would NEVER work. Because all the punches and blocks would be based SOLELY on what the other guy was doing.

Paying attention to feedback is the missing ingredient.

No matter HOW WELL you copy some “step by step” procedure, if you don’t pay attention to feedback, AND adjust accordingly, you’re doomed.

But paying attention to feedback is easy. It’s natural. It’s how you learned to walk. If you leaned forward too much, you’d fall on your face. And your inherent feedback-response mechanism told you to not lean forward so much next time.

So long as you are ALWAYS open to feedback, and you are willing to adjust, you’ll always get better.

And then you’ll learn the secret about things like learning Covert Hypnosis.

You’ll NEVER FINISH learning. Because you can always get better based on the feedback you get.

Compared to others, who sit in a seminar and listen, or read a book and think they are DONE.

YOU will always be improving, learning and getting better.

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Are You Copying The Right Things?

Little kids are cute. Very cute.

Especially when they copy adults. Now, a lot of us grownups think we’re all that.

And when we see a little kid copying, we imagine all kinds of wonderful things about ourselves.

Like that little kid is somehow seeing us for our “real self” or they have some kind of “special” connection to us.

Unfortunately, biology tells us something different. Little kids of all animals (humans, birds, etc) learn by modeling.

They are hard wired to copy those around them. Especially if the person that they are copying from is confident and enjoying themselves.

If you’ve ever wondered why it was hard to get your kids to eat that gross baby food while you were eating a burrito, now you know.

They CANNOT turn off their “copy mode,” it’s always on.

Which is why parents know they need to be very careful how they behave around their kids.

But for some reason, when we grow up, we seem to forget our natural learning mode.

Simply watching somebody doing what we want, and then copying them.

Of course, the more complicated the “thing” is, the harder it is to “copy.” Like if you wanted to copy a concert pianist, it would be hard if all you did was dress in a tuxedo and bang around on the keys.

You would have to copy how they read music. You would have to effectively copy how they reference their own memories of learning.

No matter WHAT you are learning, part of it should be imagining yourself performing it as if you were an expert.

To give your subconscious some kind of direction when you ARE doing the necessary boring stuff. Like playing the scales, or learning the more simple songs. Or building in the lighting quick response from seeing a note written on a page, and making that same sound come out of the piano.

No matter WHAT skill you are learning, there is one META-SKILL that will always be required:

A belief that it is possible.

Even if you practiced piano for three hours a day for the next ten years, if you BELIEVED that you’d always suck at the piano, you would always suck.

But if you BELIEVED you were destined for greatness, you’d get there a lot quicker.

Sure, you’d still have to do the work to get there, but the path would be a lot smoother, and a lot more enjoyable.

One of the biggest elements of a negative believe is fear. If you are afraid of success or failure, that will manifest as a belief that you CANNOT do what you want to do.

Which means if you get rid of that fear, you’ll also get rid of your negative beliefs.

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