If you’ve even watched “romantic” movies, or movies that have a romantic theme to them, there’s a common thread.
And that is two people meet each other, and they “get” each other.
They feel that nobody understands them like their new partner does.
People use the same term to talk about non-Hollywood style movies.
They say that people who don’t appreciate them don’t “get” them.
It reminds me of those 3-D pictures. Where you have to look at them in a special way to “get” them.
If you “get” them, you see the hidden picture. If you don’t “get” them, then it’s a bunch of fuzzy noise.
If you tell a joke, and somebody doesn’t laugh, they don’t “get” it.
What does it mean when two people meet, and they really “get” each other?
Do they share common backgrounds? Common beliefs? Common goals? Or is it something deeper, something more profound?
One way to enhance this is by talking about things other than what they call “fluff talk.”
Talking about the weather, politics, sports, who’s hot on social media, doesn’t really let you know if you “get” somebody or not.
This is what happens when you go “meta.” When you talk about experiences, in the abstract. When you talk about the structure of your own desires.
For example, say you learned how to play a song on the guitar. You practiced over and over, and wanted to show off to your friends.
Then when you finally played, they didn’t act like it was a big deal. So you felt a little let down.
You can share that experience with somebody, so they “get” you, without them having to have played any instrument.
Just find some situation where they did the same thing, from a structural standpoint.
Find some experience where they wanted to share something with their friends, that they thought was pretty cool, but ended up being a little under-whelming.
So even though the two of you have two “different” experiences, (content wise) they are the same, structure wise.
When you can find similar structures, you can significantly increase the chances you’ll “get” each other.
And when they think about you, they’ll feel that YOU are somebody that KNOWS them on a deep level, and they’ll feel they know YOU on a deep level.
Doesn’t matter if you’re making friends, looking for dates, or trying to get a foot in the door in a job interview.
By looking for overlapping STRUCTURES rather than content, you’ll connect on a much deeper level.