Tag Archives: resonance

Develop Deep Connections

Develop Deep Connections

If you’ve even watched “romantic” movies, or movies that have a romantic theme to them, there’s a common thread.

And that is two people meet each other, and they “get” each other.

They feel that nobody understands them like their new partner does.

People use the same term to talk about non-Hollywood style movies.

They say that people who don’t appreciate them don’t “get” them.

It reminds me of those 3-D pictures. Where you have to look at them in a special way to “get” them.

If you “get” them, you see the hidden picture. If you don’t “get” them, then it’s a bunch of fuzzy noise.

If you tell a joke, and somebody doesn’t laugh, they don’t “get” it.

What does it mean when two people meet, and they really “get” each other?

Do they share common backgrounds? Common beliefs? Common goals? Or is it something deeper, something more profound?

One way to enhance this is by talking about things other than what they call “fluff talk.”

Talking about the weather, politics, sports, who’s hot on social media, doesn’t really let you know if you “get” somebody or not.

What does?

This is what happens when you go “meta.” When you talk about experiences, in the abstract. When you talk about the structure of your own desires.

For example, say you learned how to play a song on the guitar. You practiced over and over, and wanted to show off to your friends.

Then when you finally played, they didn’t act like it was a big deal. So you felt a little let down.

You can share that experience with somebody, so they “get” you, without them having to have played any instrument.

Just find some situation where they did the same thing, from a structural standpoint.

Find some experience where they wanted to share something with their friends, that they thought was pretty cool, but ended up being a little under-whelming.

So even though the two of you have two “different” experiences, (content wise) they are the same, structure wise.

When you can find similar structures, you can significantly increase the chances you’ll “get” each other.

And when they think about you, they’ll feel that YOU are somebody that KNOWS them on a deep level, and they’ll feel they know YOU on a deep level.

Doesn’t matter if you’re making friends, looking for dates, or trying to get a foot in the door in a job interview.

By looking for overlapping STRUCTURES rather than content, you’ll connect on a much deeper level.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Fear Of Being Left Behind?

Unexpected Ego Problems

Some of the best techniques have been around for a while.

A long, long while. Thousands of years.

Reason being, of course, is that they work. Especially anything that has anything to do with other people.

Because people are the same as they were thousands of years ago, it makes sense that the same “people strategies” have been used over and over.

Sure, somebody might come along and give things new and fancy names, but the strategies and structures are still intact.

Not only do the same structures work, but the same obstacles exist.

People are afraid of rejection today just like they were thousands of years ago.

People are terrified of being “left behind” just like they were thousands of years ago.

Being recognized for your accomplishments by your peers feels pretty good, as it did thousands of years ago.

One of the simplest means of influence is that you can get anybody to do anything, so long as they are doing it for THEIR reasons.

However, there is an unexpected problem that pops up when you learn to do this.

And that is your ego won’t like it.

How’s that?

All of us CRAVE recognition. Validation. To be noticed for our genius ideas.

So when we carefully construct a message to influence others, and they take our advice, it’s as if they thought up the idea on their own.

This is GREAT, until you realize something.

They won’t look at you and say, “Wow, that’s a fantastic idea! Thanks for suggesting it!”

You’ll just be talking to them, they’ll start nodding, and THEY’LL get the idea as if THEY thought of it.

In fact, they might not even remember the specific “content” of the conversation.

They’ll just remember talking to you, and then getting this AWESOME idea.

That it was your idea all along won’t even register.

Now, some people don’t have a problem with this. They LIKE the idea of being a covert persuader, helping people make decisions that they feel really good about.

But others tend to feel a little underwhelmed. After all, it feels good when somebody genuinely thanks you for something you did.

But if you CAN get over that pesky desire of your ego, you can create magic.

Talk to people in the right way, get them thinking of a big, bright future, you’re on your way.

What would YOU like people to do?

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance