I had a buddy once who was going through some tough times.

He was seeing a counselor, and the counselor gave him an interesting homework assignment.

To go to his local playground once a week, for an hour, and just watch the kids play.

He had a note from his doctor, so the cops wouldn’t think he was a predator or anything.

One of his issues is that he was emotionally closed off. And it had ruined his last couple of relationships, and it was affecting his job.

The idea of watching kids play was to help him “model” their behavior.

Usually it’s the other way around. One of our jobs as adults (if we have kids) is to model good behavior that our kids will copy.

But my friend was trying to do the opposite.

He was trying to copy the kids behavior, at least on a subconscious level.

Being able to run around and play without worrying about being judged or told whatever they were expressing was wrong.

If he could be more like that in his real life, he would have a better time expressing himself.

All of us go through dramatic changes as we grow up. Some worse than others.

We pick up tons of baggage, stuff that we instinctively thought was protective at the time.

Unfortunately, our brains tend to generalize a lot.

If you got yelled out in third grade by your angry teacher, a “correct” response would be to decide that your particular teacher, in that particular context (whatever was going on a the time) was a little bit sketchy.

However, our brains don’t work like that. They are lightning fast, but not very accurate.

So the natural conclusion to getting yelled at by an authority figure, as a little kid is that “expressing myself is sometimes dangerous.”

The more we experience events like that, the stronger that belief becomes.

And for some of us, just the idea of asserting ourselves in public is pretty nerve wracking.

Like if a waiter brings the wrong order, some people would have a hard time asking the waiter to fix it.

However, there are plenty of ways to “undo” those unconscious learnings and generalizations.

The more you do, the more socially outgoing and confident you’ll be.

Imagine being able to express yourself anywhere, anytime, and with anybody, and having absolutely zero fear.

You’d make more money and have much better relationships.

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