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Who Controls Your Life’s Meaning?

Are You Relying On Pre-Defined Meanings?

How To Define Your Own

If somebody gives you an egg, what does it mean?

Naturally, it depends on the context. If you’re making a cake, it means you’re one step closer to eating something sweet.

If you’re in the middle of an egg fight, it’s time to throw it at the enemy.

If you’re a high school hooligan, and you’re in the middle of vandalizing a “friend’s” house, it means something completely different.

What if somebody hands you a iron bar? Does it mean you can finally escape from prison, or they’re helping you change a tire?

What if somebody hands you a stack of money? Does it mean you’re on easy street, or now you’re in debt to the devil?

Very little of what happens to us has any meaning that is absolutely set in stone.

There is a LOT more flexibility than most of us realize.

Of course, if trying to “buck the trend” makes your brain hurt, and you’d rather be told what things mean, so you can get back to your bag of Cheetos and TV shows, then this won’t make much sense.

But I suspect you’re not the Cheetos eating, TV watching couch blob like most people these days.

You suspect there’s much more to life than simply taking what “they” give you.

You want more. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.

And you know there IS more.

There’s plenty of sappy statements that describe the ability to look out into the world and make it mean what you want it to.

But there are scarce few who actually make it a habit of doing that.

Most people are desperate for somebody to “tell them what it means.”

Other people dare to wonder, “Hmm, I wonder what meanings I’ll discover today.”

What about you?

Are you ready to realize that the meaning of every single situation really IS up for grabs?

Unless you’re taking a math of physics test, you can “play around” with meanings all you want.

In fact, society is ruled by those who control not events, but the meaning of events.

And you can do the same.

Maybe not rule the world, but you can certainly rule YOUR world.

Just figure out what you want in life, and see how easily you can mold situations to fall in line.

And instead of seeing the world with scary situations that may end badly (as most people do), you’ll see situations as stepping stones to your inevitable success.

How To Become The Ultimate Alpha

Are You Trying To Salivate?

Are You Trying To Be A Wolf?

Girls will always go for the alpha.

But what does that really mean? If you’re a wolf, it means the biggest most fiercest dude in the pack. The one who can physically dominate all the rest.

And for most other animals, this is true as well. Basically it means the one dude who can control the situation. In the animal kingdom, this means by sheer brute force, nothing else.

What about humans? Most guys mistakenly assume guys are the same. The biggest, toughest, most physically fit. To be sure, if you go by Hollywood movies (which are written by NON-alphas) this holds true.

But what about real life?

Remember, the measure of an alpha is the guy who can hold control the best. 

So who controls people the best? And in the most situations?

To be sure, in many situations, the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious guy. But put this guy in a boardroom, and he’ll most likely be WAY over his head. Maybe on a desert island he’ll do OK. But not in real life.

For one thing, this is situationally dependent. And since we’re talking about being an alpha to attract the females, we need to think about how she’s interpreting this alphaness.

Does she want alpha who’s ONLY alpha in that particular situation? Or is she going to be attracted to a guy who is likely to be alpha in MOST situations he finds himself in?

Remember, the more situations she imagines he’ll be alpha in, the better.

The boardroom, the bedroom, the locker room, AND the desert island situation.

How can you demonstrate ALL that?

Easy. Show her that no matter what happens, you can not only handle it, but come out on top. This means you’ve always got to feel confident in your ability to get your needs met no matter HOW the situation turns out.

Which means you’ve FIRST got to determine what your needs are. Most guys don’t even get this far. They just hope they’ll get something good, and not get something bad.

So if you first determine your basic outcome for the particular situation, then you’ll be already ahead.

Then you simply figure out how to “work the room” to get your outcome.

If you’re going into a boardroom situation, then you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the meeting. If you’re hanging with your boys, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the evening.

If you’re going on a date, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome for the evening as well.

If you can not only come up with an ideal outcome for each and every situation, and make that outcome come true, no matter what happens, (and crucially to convince everybody else it’s the best outcome) THEN she’ll see you as the ultimate alpha. 

And she’ll never want to leave you.

Navigate The Maze Of Life

Trial and Error Is The Only Way Through

The Magic Of Trial And Error

Imagine you were at the beginning of a big maze. One that was about 50 meters on either side. Made up of bales of hay or something. And with you, you had a can of spray paint, so you could mark your path.

You also had a backpack with some food, water, and other necessities. Basically, you had plenty of time to get to the other end of the maze. You were the only one there. No monsters, no other people trying to mess with you.

And imagine, on the other end of the maze was a fantastic prize. Something you could carry with you, back to the starting point. And once you figured out how to get to the end point, every time you brought the prize back to the starting point, another prize would magically appear.

Now, the first time through would probably be pretty sketchy. You’d make a lot of wrong turns. You’d run into a lot of dead ends. But if you were smart, and you used your can of spray paint wisely, after once or twice through the maze it would be pretty easy.

Pretty soon, going from start to finish would only take a few minutes. And since each time through would get you a new prize, you’d start piling up the goods.

Now, think about the very first time through. Would you be nervous? Of course. Would this keep you from starting? Of course not.

This is precisely how life is. We are going somewhere good, but we aren’t sure how to get there. Sometimes we take wrong turns, some times we  have to back track. But so long as we keep the end in mind, and remember what we did right, and what we did wrong, we simply can not fail.

Yet many guys are stuck. They are stuck on one side of the room, where literally right on the other side are gorgeous girls just waiting to be approached.

Will you say the right thing the first time? Most likely not. But just like the  maze, all you need to do is keep trying, and remembering what works and what doesn’t, and you’ll get better each time.

And each time you get a prize, they just keep getting better. Sure, you might start small. A smile and some nice eye contact. A nice conversation. A phone number. A couple of decent dates. So long as you keep trying, and keep remembering what works and what doesn’t, you HAVE to keep getting better and better.

Unfortunately, many guys are terrified to try. They imagine getting stuck is going to be much worse than it really is. They imagine horrible monsters hiding behind every corner of the maze, when they’re really none.

This is true of not only girls, but everything else worth getting in life as well. Fantastic careers, prosperity, health, wealth, anything. And you’ve already got everything you need to get started.

So get started!

The Cutting Edge of Forward Momentum

The Magic of Forward Momentum

Generate Long Range Vision

They have this thing in economics called “disruptive technology.”

Everything’s going swell in one particular industry, and then somebody invents something new.

And it pretty much shakes everything up.

For example, when Henry Ford came along, the horse and buggy industry took it pretty hard.

When the Internet came along, print newspapers started going belly up. When Kindle came along, traditional publishers started going out of business.

The bottom line is that technology, which really means creative people at the forefront of society, is always marching forward.

While it’s pretty scary to get caught unaware, it’s pretty thrilling (and EXTREMELY profitable) to be on the cutting edge.

Even if you’re just a consumer, having all these things invented that make life easier is pretty cool.

Ever since I switched to Kindle, for example, I can bring my entire library with me everywhere I go. That is something I couldn’t have even imagined only a few years ago.

Before, if I brought a book to a coffees shop, and the book sucked, there wasn’t much I could do.

Both society wide an on an individual level, life is a constant forward motion of learning and discovery.

Or at least it can be. It SHOULD be, but many of us are afraid.

Many of us are afraid of change, afraid of learning new things, and afraid of the unknown.

To be sure, that feeling of “not knowing what to do” isn’t the best in the world.

But on the flip side, knowing perfectly well what’s going to happen, and being completely prepared, is pretty boring.

It’s like sitting on your couch eating familiar food and watching the same movie for the fiftieth time.

Sure, that might be a great plan if there’s a blizzard outside, but it’s not exactly the best strategy for a fulfilled life.

On the other hand, charging forward all the time without thinking can be pretty dangerous.

Naturally, having a balance is best. Being in that “sweet spot” of accepting the unknown while carrying within you that natural attitude of learning, discovering, and accepting all feedback that comes your way.

Being able to look out into a situation, and not know what’s going to happen, but still feel confident enough to make a move anyway is a pretty good skill to have.

Especially in our rapidly changing society and economy.

One thing that can help considerably is by having several long term “visions” for your life.

Meaning no matter what situation you find yourself in, you know how you can leverage it to your benefit.

Fully participating, and fully appreciating every interaction.

That’s what having strong self confidence is REALLY all about.

To fire up your own self confidence, so you can fully appreciate everything life has to offer, check this out:

Is Game Getting In The Way?

Simpler May Be Better

Sometimes Less Is More

There’s a belief that without any kind of structured “game” then guys would be helpless.

Meaning that unless there were guys teaching other guys how to talk to girls, date girls and hopefully get laid with girls, then it would otherwise never happen.

Now, there’s a few things wrong with this theory. To be sure, it does indeed help to know a little bit of what to say. And it helps A LOT to have a group of guys who have been there to share your experiences with, so you can do better next time.

But often times, when guys talk about “game” they are talking way beyond the basics of mutual male support.

Firstly, lets consider guys a hundred years ago. Obviously, they got laid, as there are many more people here than now than there were then. And they generally stayed in long lasting relationships, as the divorce rates back then were much lower than they are now.

And many guys will point to this as the very reason we need game. Girls are so low quality these days, they’ll say, that guys need some kind of super ninja tactics.

But that may be making the problem worse.

Now, let’s define the problem as not being able to meet quality girls for quality relationships.

How does game help this? Generally speaking, any kind game is only a short term strategy. It’s very, very hard to employ any kind of social technology over the long term.

Even politicians know this. That’s why they are always super vague when they speak. They know that if they are specific on any particular issue, they’ll likely contradict themselves later on.

So if you’re using any kind of technology to get girls interested in you, it’s definitely going to work in the short term.

But short term flings are made from much different ingredients than long term relationships.

Short term flings are based on short term interests. They necessarily overlook elements of compatibility and mutually shared experiences.

On the other hand, long term relationships are based on mutual physical interest, but only as an opening ingredient.

For any person to commit to another person, think of what’s involved. A lot of time, money, energy, and most importantly, opportunity cost.

For every hour you’re expecting that other person to spend with you, they CAN’T spend it doing anything else.

So you’re basically asking them to decide that the time they spend with you is the very BEST choice they can make.

Now, think about this. For anybody to spend time with somebody, at expense of all else, they’d better be getting their needs met. They better be with somebody that shares a lot of their interests. They better be with somebody that is got the same basic world views and life plans.

Otherwise, you’re asking for somebody without any world views, without any life plans, and without any idea of what they want. Somebody that will voluntarily chuck everything just to be with you.

Sure, game works in the short term. But it may be keeping you from finding that special lady that will only show her true self to you over a natural course of time. Without the social manipulation of any kind of game.

Something to consider.

Your Personal Road To Riches

Can You Paint By Numbers To Riches?

Is Step By Step Success Possible?

Most people would love a “paint by the numbers” system of success.

It doesn’t really matter what field. Relationships, business, health.

It seems us humans are hard wired to look for shortcuts. So when some savvy marketer comes along and gives us some secret formula that he discovered while hiking through some hidden cave in Tibet, we start salivating.

While that seems compelling from the inside out, let’s take a look from the outside in.

To be sure, doing anything mechanical WILL have a proven, step by step system. One that leaves no room for error, or mistakes.

Like rebuilding an engine, or baking a cake, or traveling from point A to point B. All you need is a simple, step by step system to follow, and so long follow the steps in order, you’ll be OK.

But whenever we do ANYTHING that involves other people, there’s really no simple method that works for everybody.

The “secret method” can ONLY be vague, at best.

Humans are a HUGE collecting of continuously changing variables, so if you want to create ANYTHING that’s based on the cooperation of others, there IS going to be a LARGE amount of winging it.

And this means doing stuff that won’t work, doing stuff that may have the opposite effect, and doing stuff that will work a million times better than we’d hoped.

To make it even more confusing, we’ll never know until AFTER we try.

To make even MORE confusing-er, we humans tend to look back at things that worked out and “rewrite” history, to make ourselves look like super heroes.

We say things like, “See, I KNEW that was going to happen!”

Or, “I had a feeling he’d say that!”

Now, most people are pretty uncomfortable doing things when they have no idea how it’s going to come up.

Hence our repeated tendency (since pretty much the dawn of time) to try or buy “secret solutions.”

But the bottom line is that unless you’re willing to take risks, accept and learn from ALL feedback, you won’t get very far.

The GOOD news is that changing your mindset, and doing some consistent mental practice, you can learn to actually HAVE FUN doing things when the outcome is uncertain.

Once you start to EXPECT and look forward to any feedback, (rather than pin you hopes on ONLY good feedback) life really becomes an incredibly fun journey.

Filled with learning, growing, success in all areas, and plenty other ideas to be discovered.

Short Term Or Long Term?

Choose Wisely

The Virtue Of Dating Patience

It can be a lot of fun to figure out how to “cheat the system.” I remember long, long ago when Pac Man was pretty popular (Yep, I’m THAT old!) Once one of my buddies got a hold of some “cheats” we could easily get through the first few levels without getting eaten.

When NLP was first unleashed, it didn’t take long for it to move from therapy to the world of sales. And it didn’t take long after that to move into the world of seduction.

Before long, guys with just a little bit of skill were taking unsuspecting ladies and firing up their desires. Take something like fractionation for example.

This is a purely hypnotic phenomenon that was later applied to seduction. In a hypnosis setting, it basically means speaking hypnotically, and then speaking normally. Every time you go back to speaking hypnotically, the person goes deeper and deeper into trance. Put them in, take them out, and then when you put the in again, they go deeper.

This can work in dating as well. You can use the same technique. Speak hypnotically, then speak normally, or what they call “fluff talk.”

Or you can be a bit more sneaky. Talk to her in one part of the bar. Then take her to another part of the bar. Then take her to a little diner that only you know about. Then take her to the park next to the diner. Or wherever. The idea is that in a few hours, it will feel as though she’s been on several “dates” with you. 

If she’s the kind of girl who will only sleep with a guy after a few dates, you can accelerate the process.

But then you run into problems.

One of the reasons people take their time dating is to feel each other out. To get to know each other. Even if you have hard core criteria, it’s easy to forget about them.

Traditionally, the whole process of dating is so you can “feel each other out’ on an unconscious basis. So after a few dates, you sort of know if you’re each other’s type or not.

You’ll also be building up some powerful “glue” that will keep you together should you decide that you are each other’s type.

This “glue” simply won’t exist if you accelerate the process using technology. Nor will you have gone through the sorting process.

Sure, it’s pretty straightforward to use technology to get laid. But you’ll be missing out on the subconscious sorting process, AND the “glue building” that comes with creating a lot of shared experiences together BEFORE you get intimate.

The problem with many guys today is they are SO desperate to get laid, they’ll do anything. But once they get laid, they suddenly want that girl to become their girlfriend.

That tends to happen after sex, unless you’re especially jaded.

This, of course, can present a lot of problems.

Just something to consider next time you’re out and about. Ask yourself what you’re after. A short term fling or a long term relationship. Because often times, you cannot have both.

Secrets Of Self Actualization

Love The Path For Enlightenment

The Path Is Where It’s At

What does it mean to be “fully actualized?”

Maslow talked about this in his hierarchy of needs.

At the bottom are things like food, sex, etc. Stuff we all can imagine without any trouble.

But as you go further up the top, they get more vague and much more dependent on your own personal definitions.

The very top is “Self Actualized.”

I remember way back in university, one teacher was telling us that you had to go through the bottom levels to get to the top levels. And somebody asked of an example of a “self-actualized” person.

One of the examples she gave was Jesus. And I immediately thought of Jesus down at the lower levels getting his freak on so he could move up the pyramid. I guess they left that stuff out of the Bible.

Anyhow, I think most people have a bit of a misconception of the top levels of Uncle Maslow’s pyramid.

We tend to think it’s some kind of “state of being.” That once we arrive, all we’ve go to do is drink champagne and eat sushi off naked girls (or guys).

But the problem is that would get pretty boring, pretty quick.

Study after study shows that folks who win lotteries tend to go nuts after the initial thrill wears off.

Sure, we can all think of massive piles of material goods that we WANT, but what happens when we have them?

I suppose you could take handfuls of pills and play video games all day, but you’d self destruct pretty quickly.

Maybe being “self actualized” means being fully congruent in the PURSUIT of your goals, not in the getting them.

When you have something really big, really important (to you) and it’s just out of reach. Which means you’re firing on all cylinders, using all your skills (and learning new ones) to get you closer.

Some famous guy once said, “A man’s reach should be beyond his grasp.”

Meaning if you can get it with your current level of skills and energy, it’s not big enough.

Maybe we humans need some kind of a carrot out there to keep us moving forward.

One that we create, and one that we put out there.

Only when you focus on your own dreams with laser like intensity, and get busy, do you feel alive.

Click Here To Get Moving:

Self Confidence Generator

Are You Willing To Pay The Costs?

Everything Comes With Costs - Are You Willing to Pay Them?

Everything Has A Price

Here’s a surefire way to get a girlfriend, if that’s what you want.

Now before we get started, many people claim they want something, when they really don’t. Or what they say they want is not really what they want. For example, most anybody on the street would say that want a million dollars. But that’s not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that they want a million dollars without taking any risks, putting themselves in any uncomfortable situations, or doing anything that might make them look foolish.

Ask a bunch of people if they were willing to spend three hours a day on side projects. Taking away from their TV time and socializing time. Doing things that would bring them disdain from friends and family, for three years and THEN get a million dollars. Ask this and most of them would laugh and walk away.

Same with guys that claim they want a girlfriend. Sure if their dream girl showed up on their doorstep one night, and asked if she could come in, they’d welcome her with open arms.

Of course, that only happens in fantasy lands. If you asked the question another way, you’d get a different answer.

Like this:

Would you be willing to talk to ten girls day, and ask for their phone number at the end of the conversation?

Would be willing to date at least one or two of THOSE girls a week, and disqualify those that don’t meet your criteria?

Would you be willing to ALWAYS be juggling two or three girls that you’ve dated more than once, yet aren’t in a committed relationship with yet?

Would you be willing to do this for ONE YEAR before you found that one special lady?

Most guys would run for the hills if that’s what they thought was required.

In fact, a lot of guys that have voluntarily removed themselves from the dating pool claim it’s because there are no quality women, or the game is stacked against men, or whatever.

But in reality, going through the above is a lot of work. Work most guys are simply not willing to put in.

They’d rather live in an imaginary “good old days” when girls just feel from the sky onto your arm.

But the cold harsh truth of economics will always prevail. Specifically the element of cost.

You can get whatever you want, so long as you are willing to pay the cost.

Most guys aren’t willing to pay the cost.

Are you?

If you are, then you can have any girl you want.

It’s not easy. But it is worth it.

Super Size Your Language Skills

Word Power

Practice The Obvious

“Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face, and I’ll bed the Queen of France.”

So says Voltaire.

Now, I don’t know if you’re interested in seducing kings or queens, but this perfectly describes the power of language.

When most of us speak, we have a bunch of half baked ideas, and then spit out a bunch of haphazardly chosen words that we hope will accurately describe those jumbled ideas in our heads.

Now, you CAN get lucky. People can look at you as if you’re the biggest brained genius since Beethoven.

On the other hand, you may get some puzzled looks,

“Wait, what?”

The truth is that because language is natural, we assume it’s not something we need to practice.

I mean, we don’t practice walking, or eating, or taking a dump. We just do it.

But if we only “just do it” when using language, we’re missing a HUGE amount of opportunity.

If you take just a tad bit longer to formulate those ideas, and spend a few extra moments of brainpower formulating your words instead of just “spitting them out,” you’ll get a LOT better response from whomever you’re talking to.

Now, some people assume there’s a bunch of magic words or combinations that work anywhere any time, on anybody.

But in reality, any kind of language technology is MUCH more like martial arts.

You learn a bunch of individual moves, and maybe a few combinations.

But the REAL practice comes when you use them in their natural habitat.

You can only get so far by shadow boxing. If you want to get to the big leagues (whatever that means for you) you’ve got to put on some gloves and mix it up a bit.

That means not only learning these patterns, but practicing them in real life conversations.

The good news is that this is a LOT easier than you think.

If you’d like to brush up on these patterns, I’ve just released a video training course that goes over the most powerful patterns.

Check it out:

Covert Hypnosis