Tag Archives: Emotions

Embrace The Unknown

Powerful One Two Charismatic Punch

Often there is a HUGE chasm between the thoughts and ideas in our heads, and the words that come out of our mouths.

One of the mainstays of a comedy is some character that says something really goofy, gets embarrassed, and then says, “That didn’t come out right…”

Just that we understand that’s funny means it’s a common human experience.

Having clear ideas in mind, but they come out as jumbled up nonsense.

Most of the time, though, we tend to overlook the main issue.

We think if we ONLY had the words, it would be easy.

But when it comes to human communication, words are just the icing on the cake.

How we express those ideas inside our heads takes a LOT MORE than just words.

And most of the time, the words themselves are not the most important part.

Meaning if you have an “understandable enough” set of words, but the underlying energy is positive, attractive and charismatic, you’re good to go.

You might even consider that the feeling of “not having the right words” to be an EFFECT rather than a cause.

Consider that the cause might be the not having the right “frame” to speak from.

As humans tend to do, we often misunderstand the relationship between cause and effect.

It’s easy to get them backward.

But here’s the cool part.

If you take the time to build up the “frame” (which contains all the positive attractive energy) the words can take care of themselves.

Even better, when you combine the right “frame” WITH the right words, you can be unstoppable.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Bam! Pow!

Ninja Language Patterns

We humans use a lot of vagueness.

Both in our thinking, and our language.

We have to.

There is just TOO much stuff going on inside and outside to communicate otherwise.

There’s a movie called “The Usual Suspects.”

It’s considered a classic, or even a cult favorite.

But the MEANING of the movie is VERY vague.

So much so that when the writer and the director finished making the movie, and were ready to go on the press tour, they had a HUGE fight.

One guy had the impression that most of the movie was TRUE, (meaning the events in the movie actually happened) and only a little bit was imaginary.

On the other hand, the other guy thought most of the movie was a HALLUCINATION of one of the characters, and very little was actually true.

If you’ve seen the movie, you can get this.

You can see BOTH interpretations when you see it.

Either mostly real, or mostly a hallucination.

This is one of the problems with vague language and vague thinking.

It’s also one of our BIGGEST weak points.

Because when something is wrong, we tend to IMAGINE the worst.

That’s how we managed to survive in our very ancient and very harsh environment.

If our ancestors had always assumed the BEST, we would have died out a long time ago.

So we’re kind of stuck with that “imagine the worst” response to vague and unknown things.

Which can make us vulnerable, if somebody KNOWS how to push our buttons.

All they have to do is LOOK at us funny, and we’ll imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Even worse if they say something that’s even a little mean, but still kind of vague.

They might let out a sigh, roll their eyes and say, “I KNEW you were doing to do that.”

Even if we’ve done NOTHING, that simple and VERY VAGUE statement can make us feel horrible.

Luckily, there is a VERY POWERFUL way to defend against any kind of VAGUE statement.

So simple it will make people that toss insults quake in their boots.

It’s easy to learn, and simple to use.

And once you TEACH the world HOW to respond to you, they will

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Defend Your Boundaries

How To Really Really Like Yourself

Energy is a strange concept.

Even when talking about energy from a pure physics standpoint, it’s hard to wrap our minds around.

We can’t really EVER experience PURE energy.

Even though energy and matter are the same.

That’s what Einstein’s famous equation (E=mc^2) says.

Energy EQUALS Matter (times a pure number, the speed of light squared).

But every single experience we have of “energy” is really “energy” AND matter.

Even electricity is the movement of electrons, which are particles.

And those particles have mass.

But when talking about us humans, with respect to energy, what do we really mean?

If you say somebody has “positive energy” what does that mean?

It generally means the sum total of all their subconscious body language movements.

How they walk, how they talk, the tone of their voice. How slowly or quickly they speak, etc.

You could also say the same about somebody who has “negative” energy.

Maybe they are angry, frustrated, fists clenched, teeth gritted, looking around for a fight.

Sociologists who study criminals tell us that when criminals are out looking for victims, they look for people who radiate “victim energy.”

People that look down when they walk, have their shoulders slumped over, rarely make eye contact with anybody.

They KNOW that if they rob these “victim energy” people, they will get away pretty easily.

Unfortunately, a LOT of people operate this way.

Not just pick-pockets and purse snatchers.

It’s believed that one out of every twenty five people is a clinical SOCIOPATH.

And these people have a sixth sense for those of us who are EASY to take advantage off.

It gets worse.

Even people that wouldn’t be considered sociopaths tend to know WHEN they can take advantage of others.

Even those close to us.

They get to know our buttons, and they learn how to push them.

It makes us emotionally weak, and allows them to get what THEY want a lot easier.

Even if you weren’t being taken advantage of, radiating this kind of energy (the easy to be manipulated kind) is NOT attractive in the least.

What IS the most attractive kind of “energy?”

Comfortable in your own skin.

Somebody that ENJOYS who they are.

If YOU like YOU the world will too.

But if you DON’T like YOU, the world can be a dangerous place.

Luckily it’s MUCH EASIER than most people realize to switch into the “I like me” energy, which radiates confidence and attractiveness.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Blast Their Brains With Hypnotic Love

How To Point Their Desire

All action follows the same structure.

It’s the same as any voluntary trade.

The thing we want is more valuable (as we subjectively see it) than the thing we have.

Whether you’re trading your peanut butter sandwich for an ice cream cone, or ten bucks for a happy meal, the process is the same.

You want what you don’t have more than what you do have.

If you can find somebody who is a match, they want what YOU hove more than what they have, you’ll trade.

This is instinctive.

It’s been happening since ancient tribes met other ancient tribes, and on every playground in every school on Earth.

Even when we do things, we imagine that our future state (after we do whatever we are contemplating) is going to be BETTER than our present state.

Otherwise we wouldn’t do it.

Many times we aren’t so sure. The future would be good IF we know some “bad things” wouldn’t happen. But those “bad things” are uncertain, so the probability of the future state is uncertain.

You think you MIGHT like that new restaurant, for example, but on the other hand, you might spend the time and money and it might suck.

Whenever you are persuading somebody to do something, we face the same problem.

We are trying to convince them to take some kind of action, to change their state.

The better we can do that, to convince them the new state (that we are suggesting) is better than their current state, the more persuasive we’ll be.

People that are naturally good at this (persuading people to take action) are generally pretty popular and make a ton of money.

The truth is that most of us LOVE to follow directions from somebody who knows what they are talking about.

Especially when it’s clear they’ve got OUR interests in mind.

It’s like they’re doing our thinking for us, but not in an evil dictator kind of way.

A way that shows us how safe and comfortable it is to move toward whatever it is we want.

Which means that knowing how to do this can come in VERY handy.

Coming up with a couple of stories that can increase people’s desires in whatever direction you want to point is very useful skill.

Where should we point their desires?

Anywhere you want!

Learn How:

Hypnotic Sales

Hot Buttered Popcorn

Hot Buttered Popcorn!

The first job I had selling anything was in elementary school.

Me and my buddy volunteered to sell popsicles at lunch.

It was a lot easier than I’d expected.

Selling stuff people want to buy is pretty fun.

Everybody’s generally in a good mood.

When I was in HS I worked at a movie theater.

That was also fun.

Especially when they tried and “experimental” sales method.

I was eager to try it out.

Instead of sitting there passively behind the snack counter waiting for customers, they wanted me to load up a cart of stuff and walk into the theaters.

The girl doing it hated it.

Nobody would buy anything.

But she was just standing there, waiting for people to come up.

I tried a different method.

I would push the cart up and down the aisles, yelling out whatever goofy sales pitches I could think of.

At first it was pretty embarrassing.

But pretty soon people started buying stuff.

Soon, I was sold out.

It happened over and over.

Even the people that didn’t buy stuff were entertained. Some high school kid making up lame sales pitches, yelling them out as he walked up and down the aisles.

Of course, there are many ways to sell things.

And few things are as enjoyable to purchase as popcorn on movie night.

At least, that’s now how they seem at first.

Some things we buy because we have to.

But even those purchases can be turned into something exciting.

How?

All sales (and all decisions for that matter) happen when we WANT to do something more than we WANT to NOT do something.

It’s really a matter of “either-or” at the end.

But the cool thing is there are many ways to attach things they are already excited about to whatever you want them to do.

Buy something, or give you their phone number or go somewhere with you.

All you need to do is build their general desire, and then attach that general desire to whatever you’re suggesting.

A few simple language patterns, and some spatial anchoring, you can connect any feeling to any decision.

Not only will they love doing what you suggest, but it will be a lot of fun.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Sales

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Supernova Of Money

Follow The Yellow Brick Road

There’s a cool story I’ve read a couple times that I recommend.

It’s called, “The Alchemist,” by Paulo Coelho, and is about a kid who wants to discover the secret of turning sand into gold (alchemy.)

It’s short, easy to read, and very metaphorical.

And like many literary metaphors, there are a lot of ways to interpret it.

It’s got a lot of common themes.

One is that the goal of alchemy is about turning sand into gold. And if you can turn sand into gold, you can get rich with a lot of work.

Paradoxically, to FIND OUT how to do that, you have to do a LOT of work.

The hero went on a journey around the world, fell in love, met lots of cool people and learned a lot of worthwhile, real money-making skills, but ignored them since he was looking for an easy way to turn sand into gold.

Finally he gave up and came home.

And found that he had a huge chunk of gold hidden under his own house.

THAT common metaphor pops up all over the place.

To go out LOOKING for something that you had the whole time.

In the Wizard of Oz, for example, Dorothy and her buddies spent all that time and energy looking for the Wizard (who really was a fake) hoping he would send them home, when all she had to do was click her heels together.

(Interestingly enough, the whole story of the Wizard of Oz is a political metaphor regarding the dangers of going OFF the “gold standard.”)

Why do so many stories have that same theme?

Of searching all over Earth for the secrets of life, only to find that we HAD them inside us the whole time?

The same stories are told because they work.

And they work because they resonate with us.

We see truth in them.

We FEEL truth in them.

It’s like that goofy expression from the movie, Repo Man:

“No matter where you go, there you are.”

And no matter WHERE you go, or WHAT you are looking for, YOUR most powerful resource is ALWAYS within you.

Perhaps we are always looking OUTSIDE because deep down inside, we FEAR our power.

The cool thing is that WHENEVER you are ready to embrace it, it will be there, waiting for you.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Who Ordered The Brains?

The Structure Of Success

When I was a kid I love science.

Still do.

So when it came time to choose a major, I chose physics.

For a while, everything was pretty cool.

Until I hit those upper division classes.

With really difficult math.

At first I freaked.

I didn’t know if I could handle it.

I almost changed my major.

But I finally decided to stick with it.

And by going really slowly, and spending a lot of time studying, I finally managed to escape with a degree.

And once I figured out the “trick” to learning difficult math, it was easy.

Not easy, easy, but easier than I thought.

Before, I would listen to lectures, do the homework, and that was it.

And them cram for a couple hours before the exams.

But with those upper division classed, I had to change my strategy.

I found myself spending a few hours each weekend.

I needed to in order to keep up.

But once I got the “rhythm” it was normal again.

Meaning I didn’t worry, I just had to “re-calibrate” my studying frequency and duration.

And every other class after that was the same.

Since I’d learned the “study structure” of one class, I could apply it to all classes.

I’ve found the same thing is true in a lot of areas.

Once you step back and look at the “structure” you can apply the same “structure” to other things.

Kind of how you learn to ride one bike, you can pretty much ride all other bikes, so long as they have the same structure.

This is how our brains are wired. This is why we can live anywhere on Earth, even back before electricity and even agriculture.

Finding food, shelter, and staying away from dangerous animals has a similar structure.

Do it near the equator, you can do it at the north pole.

Sure, the content is different (predators, food, shelter) but the structure is the same.

Learning anything, skills, subjects, communication strategies, once you get the structure down, you can repeat it as often as you like.

Learn How:

End Self Sabotage

Build Your Own Roadmap

Re-Gain Your Childlike Excitement

Why are little kids so happy?

Well, obviously not all of the time. But when they ARE happy, why do they look MUCH happier than adults? (on those occasions when adults are happy)

Do they know something we don’t?

Or do they know something we’ve forgotten?

One reason might be that they are always discovering things.

Especially right after they learn to walk and run confidently.

Their brains are like sponges, desperate to be filled in.

Now, there are a lot of ideas that we somehow “stop” learning when we get to age seven or so.

But that can’t be true, otherwise the only inventions we would have would come from seven-year-olds.

Since many inventions (especially medical and scientific inventions) come from people WAY older than seven, there’s something else going on.

Why does it SEEM that we stop learning at seven? (or at least for many of us)

Because we fall into the trap of needing to BE TAUGHT by other people.

People that continue to invent things are always thinking, “what if…”

And then trying a bunch of stuff out.

Truth is we ALL have that capacity.

Only in most of us, once “school” is over, we shut our brains off.

But your learning capacity is still there.

Your capacity for discovery is still there.

How do you use it?

Just like a little kid does. Just like a scientist or entrepreneur does.

Ask “What if…” and try something.

And see what happens.

Obviously, you want to try something that will get you going in a direction you’d like to go.

Like making more money, or having better relationships, or getting healthier or smarter.

The tendency for many is to wait around and BE TOLD what to do.

But that isn’t any fun!

It’s more fun to discover on your own. To continuously INVENT your life, one small step at a time.

To RE-DISCOVER that thrill of having curiosity and excitement about your future.

Because it’s out there, waiting for you.

Make It:

End Self Sabotage

Monsters Are Coming

Epic Journeys and Monster Fights

Why do we humans love stories so much?

Anything that is ubiquitous across all time and all cultures usually has a LOT of reasons for being around.

Imagine what it was like in ancient hunter-gatherer tribes.

Before written language was invented.

What kind of stories would they have told and retold?

They would have to be entertaining.

Nobody likes boring stories.

But they also had to be inspirational.

After all, living back in those days wasn’t easy.

Imagine your typical hunter-gatherer, going to “work” every day.

They had to find an animal to kill and eat. Usually the bigger the better.

What kind of “story-memories” could be helpful to have when chasing down a big wooly mammoth?

Fairy princess stories?

Or the little guy kills the big monster story?

How about when the weather changed, and they had to migrate into unknown territory.

What stories would be useful to tell each night during those long journeys?

Frog into prince stories?

Or epic adventure stories?

When you watch a movie or read a book, what character do you imagine to be?

The good guy or the bad guy?

The main character or one of the supporting characters?

The Greeks knew long ago one of the reasons we love stories is it gives us a feeling of emotional release.

We get to feel the “tension-release” without having to actually go through the risky or painful “event.”

Books and movies that flop are usually because they don’t “move” us.

And when they say, “move,” that obviously means “move our emotions” around.

If you’ve studied hypnosis, you know that the “thing” that “moves” us when it comes to individual language is STRUCTURE much more than content.

And guess what?

All of those epic stories of adventure, killing the monster, etc., they have the SAME structure.

Joseph Campbell called it the “Hero’s Journey.”

The cool thing is that you don’t need to be Spielberg or Stephen King to create these same structures.

You can create them conversationally, and move people profoundly.

You’ll find it’s a pretty cool party trick.

But that’s just the beginning.

Because any time you’re “chit chatting” to somebody, and you drop in a few of these similar structures, you can have a lasting effect on whoever you’re speaking to.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling