Category Archives: Attraction

Mountain Climbing Metaphor

Circles or Straight Lines?

They say you can’t step in the same river twice.

Meaning every second that passes by, the river is changing.

The fish, the rocks and sand on the bottom, the amount of water is always in flux.

So too are us humans.

Once in chemistry class, the professor told us to close our eyes and think of a deceased person we admire.

I thought of my grandfather.

Then he told us to take a slow breath, and then open our eyes.

He told us that we’d just inhaled at least one molecule, (the very same one) that the person we’d just thought of had inhaled in their lives.

Then he explained all about the volume of our atmosphere, how many breaths we take, etc, and why what he’d just told us was statistically likely.

Scientists tell us that every seven years or so, all the atoms and molecules in our body are replaced.

Kind of like on Star Trek, when they beam themselves around, only in slow motion.

All the thoughts in your mind that make up your personality are continuously being updated.

So even who you ARE (when you think of “I”) is always changing.

Life, and every part of it, is a never ending process.

Always changing.

If you could take all those endless changes, and line them up, what would you produce?

Something magnificent.

On the other hand, if you took all those changes, and arranged them in a circle, you might find yourselves in the same place a few years or even a decade from now.

Either way, it’s up to you.

But it takes courage, and dedication.

You have to take small actions on a daily basis that are just a hair outside of your comfort zone.

But if you take your time to plan those actions, you’ll be surprised how quickly things add up.

No matter where you are or who you are or what you have or haven’t accomplished, the best time to start is now.

Learn How:

Stop Self Sabotage

Monsters Are Coming

Epic Journeys and Monster Fights

Why do we humans love stories so much?

Anything that is ubiquitous across all time and all cultures usually has a LOT of reasons for being around.

Imagine what it was like in ancient hunter-gatherer tribes.

Before written language was invented.

What kind of stories would they have told and retold?

They would have to be entertaining.

Nobody likes boring stories.

But they also had to be inspirational.

After all, living back in those days wasn’t easy.

Imagine your typical hunter-gatherer, going to “work” every day.

They had to find an animal to kill and eat. Usually the bigger the better.

What kind of “story-memories” could be helpful to have when chasing down a big wooly mammoth?

Fairy princess stories?

Or the little guy kills the big monster story?

How about when the weather changed, and they had to migrate into unknown territory.

What stories would be useful to tell each night during those long journeys?

Frog into prince stories?

Or epic adventure stories?

When you watch a movie or read a book, what character do you imagine to be?

The good guy or the bad guy?

The main character or one of the supporting characters?

The Greeks knew long ago one of the reasons we love stories is it gives us a feeling of emotional release.

We get to feel the “tension-release” without having to actually go through the risky or painful “event.”

Books and movies that flop are usually because they don’t “move” us.

And when they say, “move,” that obviously means “move our emotions” around.

If you’ve studied hypnosis, you know that the “thing” that “moves” us when it comes to individual language is STRUCTURE much more than content.

And guess what?

All of those epic stories of adventure, killing the monster, etc., they have the SAME structure.

Joseph Campbell called it the “Hero’s Journey.”

The cool thing is that you don’t need to be Spielberg or Stephen King to create these same structures.

You can create them conversationally, and move people profoundly.

You’ll find it’s a pretty cool party trick.

But that’s just the beginning.

Because any time you’re “chit chatting” to somebody, and you drop in a few of these similar structures, you can have a lasting effect on whoever you’re speaking to.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

My Hero!

Show Them Their Hidden Hero

Lately (last ten years or so) they’ve been a LOT of superhero movies and TV shows.

Word on the street is that ten or twenty years ago, studio execs were a little iffy on superhero Hollywood movies.

Dudes dressed in tights running around didn’t seem like such a good idea.

Great for comic books, but not up on the big screen.

But then they stared making them, and the movies started making money.

Now there’s ALL KINDS of superhero’s on TV and in the movies.

Why do we love these clearly fictional superheroes so much?

The answer to that could fill a doctoral dissertation in philosophy, psychology or even evolutionary biology.

Maybe it’s because we would all love to be “saved” by the superhero.

Or maybe we all secretly wish we could BE the superhero.

Maybe that’s why a lot of them are anonymous.

“Regular people” by day, but when they put on their costumes, (so nobody knows their identity) they run around saving people and beating up bad guys.

Maybe it’s a useful fantasy. Maybe we all really DO have some kind of “super powers” but we’re afraid to show it.

So the “anonymous superhero” is compelling to us.

But there is a tricky way you can “be” a superhero in real life.

You won’t get to beat up bad guys, but you’ll be able to move people emotionally to wonderful places they can’t otherwise get to on their own.

All while remaining anonymous.

How’s that?

First, you understand the superhero structure. The deep structure that is in nearly all stories.

Then wrap your “suggestions” for them in a superhero story.

Then “hide in” in a few other stories, carefully nested in the center.

That way, it’s not really “you” telling the story.

It’s some character within the story that is telling the story to another character.

One is YOUR alter ego, the other is THEIR alter ego.

But because you’ve hidden both identities, nobody will know what’s going on but you.

And you will have hidden your superhero powers in the best possible place.

In plain sight.

Learn More:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Get Them Swooning Over You

Attach Their Desires To You

Economics is called the “dismal science.”

And it’s called that for a lot of reasons.

One is that it forces one to ask the question, “at what cost?”

Politicians HATE this question. Their whole angle is to promise us the moon and never have to worry about paying for it.

Another reason economics is called the “dismal science” is it forces us to understand something about human nature, and human action.

And that is that ALL HUMANS have unlimited wants, needs and desires.

But we’re all stuck on this planet with limited resources.

So figuring out how to best distribute those limited resources to us greedy humans is the billion dollar question of all time.

And as I’m sure you know, if you can get MOST of what you want, you’re doing pretty good.

But this presents a fairly unique opportunity.

Especially for somebody interested in learning language patterns and communication strategies to bring out the BEST in people.

How’s that?

Because using the truth about people from the “dismal science,” you KNOW that inside EVERYBODY you’ve met, and EVERYBODY you will meet, are those UNLIMITED wants, needs and desires.

All you’ve got to do is get them talking about them.

Since they are ENDLESS, you can get them pretty excited.

Ideal futures, dream jobs, dream careers, dream boyfriends or girlfriends, dream houses.

Just get them to open up about their ideal future, tap that vast UNLIMTED resource of wants, needs and desires, and they’ll feel better than they have in a LONG TIME.

Most people pass judgement, give advice, tell people why they’d better be careful, etc.

But when YOU come along and ONLY ASK about those unlimited wants, needs and desires, they’ll feel fantastic.

And they’ll associate that fantastic feeling with YOU.

They won’t think, “Hmm, this guy’s going to help me get that dream house.”

It’s more like advertising. When they put a bikini girl next to a car.

Nobody thinks, “hmm, if I buy the car, I’ll get the girl!”

They just have an UNCONSCIOUS association between the girl and the car.

Equally strong will be the unconscious association between their BIGGEST DESIRES and YOU.

(Or whatever you happen to be selling or recommending or suggesting).

All you’ve got to do is turn off your inner “advice giver,” ask the right questions and watch them light up like crazy.

Click Here To Learn How

The Rabbit Hole Of Persuasion

How To Elicit Their Inner Power

I was at this goofy seminar once a long time ago.

One of the instructors was doing a demonstration to teach a deeper point.

He had one of those Russian Dolls, the kind where each larger one has a smaller one inside.

And he kept going smaller and smaller, until he got to this very tiny one inside.

And inside was an ultra rare, ultra expensive, blue diamond.

The message being that all of us have some super secret, super powerful center.

And once we find that, we can do anything.

Unfortunately, the demonstration was followed up with typical “law of attraction” mumbo jumbo, where the seminar attendees were slathered with vague language about how awesome and unique we are.

Why do I say “unfortunately?”

Because any time you reach inside YOUR mind and use YOUR words to describe somebody else, especially a secret powerful part of somebody else, it’s very difficult to match.

Match what?

YOUR words with how THEY feel about their inner greatness.

Now, most people only have a vague idea of their inner greatness.

They have a vague feeling or desire to “do something” significant.

So at best, you’re going to match that vague feeling with your vague words.

Which really won’t do much.

It’s kind of like eating a bowl of sugar, or drinking a bottle of maple syrup.

Super sweet, gives you a quick buzz, but then you crash hard.

This is also why people tend to jump from motivational seminar to motivational seminar.

They get a fix, a vague bunch of words praising their vague sense of inner awesomeness, and then it wears off.

And on to the next seminar.

Usually all they have to show for it is a ton of credit card debt.

The good news is there IS a way to elicit (not tell) the inner awesomeness from others.

And not just in a vague way, in a VERY SPECIFIC way.

And not in YOUR words, but THEIR words.

When you get somebody to specifically describe part of their inner uniqueness, using their words, their pictures, and their ideas, they’ll feel something they’ve NEVER felt before.

A REAL sense of purpose. A REAL sense of that inner desire being turned into a specific THING.

That they are talking about, with YOU.

All you’ve got to do is sit back and carefully pull it out of them.

And watch the magic happen.

Click Here To Learn How

Truths Are Deeper Than We Realize

Secret Girl-Getting Quality

One thing many people confuse is cause and effect.

If we humans see two things happening, one after another, we’ll assume the first thing has something to do with the second thing.

They’ve even done studies where they look at babies, (less than a year old) and watch how they watch blips move around on a computer screen.

The two blips are made by two separate programs.

But the kids think they’re connected. They turn one of them off, and the kid gets all freaked out, as if something’s wrong.

They believe we have “cause-effect” generators in our brains.

It somehow made us think more quickly back in our evolutionary days.

But in modern society, we often get cause and effect confused.

One way the media likes to play us is to say things are “linked.”

Like they’ll say “diet soda is linked to obesity” knowing it will make for an interesting headline.

They know that most people will understand it to mean diet soda CAUSES obesity.

But linking doesn’t really mean anything.

Sure, people that are obese tend to drink diet soda.

But that doesn’t mean diet soda CAUSES obesity.

Another common way this confuses us is when many hot girls tend to end up with rich guys.

So we assume girls only go for guys that have money.

This is absolutely NOT TRUE.

All you need to do to disprove this common belief is find a hot girl with a rich guy that she absolutely CANNOT STAND.

If having money “caused” attraction, then she’s always be attracted.

There must be something else going on.

There is.

Girls are attracted to guys with a certain quality.

A certain quality that SOMETIMES translates into money, sometimes not.

But because our economy is so messed up, a lot of guys WITHOUT that quality can GET a lot of money. Think of goofs like Zuckerberg.

Not you’re typical “alpha male.”

The good news is that quality is EASY to develop, whether you have money or not, want money or not.

And when you HAVE that quality, you’ll have something ALL women are looking for.

Click Here To Learn How

Be The Guy She Chases

Stand Out From Every Other Guy

Whenever we want something, but aren’t sure we can get it, we get mixed feelings.

What’s worse is when we KNOW we have to do something, but are pretty sure it’s going to suck.

Studying for a test, doing your taxes, cleaning out your garage.

Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between things we HAVE to do, and things we WANT to do.

Interacting with attractive ladies is like that for a lot of guys.

Obviously, having a decent relationship with a hottie feels pretty good.

But it can also feel like something you “should do.”

Society says so, your genes say so.

Compared to something like exercise, or getting ripped, which is much more of a personal choice.

If you were to announce to all your friends and family that you just decided to stop pursuing relationships with women, they would maybe think something was wrong with you.

Unless you have something MORE IMPORTANT that you are chasing.

If you say, “I don’t date because it’s too difficult,” it doesn’t sound so good.

But if you say, “I don’t have time to chase girls, I’m busy focusing on X,” (whatever X is) it sounds a LOT better. Admirable even.

And paradoxically, this will make you MUCH MORE attractive to most girls.

Why?

Because girls are used to guys chasing them. They are used to guys “cold approaching” them all day long.

But you?

You are chasing something MORE IMPORTANT than them.

When you choose what that is, and start chasing it, something pretty cool will happen.

Girls will start chasing you.

Well, they won’t literally be running after you down the street, but they will be looking at you much differently than every other drooling guy.

And you will have a feeling of choice that most guys don’t even know exist.

Click Here To Learn How

Develop Massive Female Confidence

All Girls Want You

Most guys think that walking up and number closing hundreds of girls will build up their confidence.

It can, but it requires CONSTANT motivation.

Meaning if you stop doing it for a week, it will seem incredibly hard to get started again.

But think of it from another perspective.

Our brains tend to generalize, delete, and distort.

Meaning our brains are incredibly fast, but not very accurate.

So whenever we see a new situation, our brains automatically reference our memories to get an idea of how to feel about it.

Let’s say you are trying the cold approach method of increasing confidence.

Every time you go to approach a new girl, you are going to automatically remember the last couple hundred girls you approached.

And you’ll do so within a few milliseconds. (Fast but inaccurate).

And then your brain will come back with a “feeling” indicating whether it (your brain) thinks it’s “safe” or not.

And what was the result of the last couple hundred cold approaches?

Even the best cold approachers have about an eighty percent FAILURE rate.

So the “feeling” you get back is going to say “DANGER!”

Every. Single. Time.

This is precisely you need so much motivation.

Luckily, this isn’t the ONLY way to build confidence.

Consider the “hit and run” approach.

This also requires that you interact with girls, either verbally or non verbally.

But you ONLY do so until you get a POSITIVE response from her.

THEN you eject. IMMEDIATELY.

It’s important you eject RIGHT WHEN you get any kind of positive signal from her.

This seems counterintuitive and a bit silly.

But consider how you’ll feel after doing this with a few dozen girls.

Your brain will still rapidly scan your past (fast and inaccurate).

But instead of coming back with a feeling that says, “girls mostly reject you, be careful,” it will come back with a MUCH BETTER FEELING.

One that is more like:

“All girls like you.”

Instead of needing momentum, to continually push past the fear of rejection, you’ll feel the positive force of “all girls like you” pulling you forward.

The crucial rule to follow is ALWAYS EJECT as soon as you get a positive “ping” from her.

Start with eye contact, move up to smiles, and then SHORT conversations.

As you as you get her laughing and smiling, BEFORE you number close, LEAVE.

This will create a fantastic feeling of “All girls want me!”

And when you get to THAT level, the world will be your playground.

Click Here To Learn How

Get Them Competing For You

Get Girls Competing For You

Why do girls flake?

The biggest reason is that they have low interest.

As much as guys like to think otherwise, the way a girl behaves around you is HIGHLY DEPENDENT on her interest level in you.

Compare how she behaves around a good looking, tall, athletic rich guy, compared to some homeless guy.

(Don’t worry, you don’t need to be tall, good looking, athletic or rich).

They say you can judge people by how they treat the “help.”

Meaning how well they treat people they DON’T need to be nice to.

But even then that’s not a great gauge.

There’s polite behavior, and there’s behavior that’s driven by attraction and desire.

And if a girl has attraction and desire for you, she’ll behave VERY WELL.

Meaning she won’t flake, she won’t be late, she won’t stare at her phone when she’s with you.

She (the very same girl) will do ALL these things with a guy she has little or no interest in.

The way most guys go about doing this is backwards.

They walk up to dozens of girls, get a bunch of numbers, and hope that eventually one of them will have “high interest.”

This strategy DOES work. Because there ARE plenty of girls out there that WILL have high interest in you naturally.

But finding them can be a real chore. Even if one out of ten girls will really like you the way you are, going through nine rejections is pretty tough.

A much better strategy is to slowly change how you naturally are. Change your outlook, change the way you view the world and your place in it.

If you do that, then you’ll slowly increase the percentage of girls who like the NATURAL YOU.

And once you cross a specific tipping point, THEY will compete for YOU.

Click Here To Learn More

Manifest Woman

Get Her Begging For You

One of the best ways to increase attraction is to leave.

Most guys use the “make the ho say no” strategy.

While this is good for the ego, it’s not so good for your confidence.

The way the brain works is whenever we look into new situation, our minds try to find as many similar situations in the past as possible.

That way it can save energy figuring stuff out, and refer to as much previous experiences as possible.

And if you’re using the “make the ho say no” strategy, you’ll end up getting rejected a lot.

Since that’s what happens when the ho actually says, “no.”

The opposite strategy, which is also EXTREMELY counterintuitive, is to LEAVE just as her attraction is starting to build.

This is VERY HARD.

In many ways it’s harder than cold approaching.

But it will build up MASSIVE confidence if you keep at it for a while.

Why?

Because every time you see a new social situation filled with potential females, you’re brain will quickly scan the last couple dozen encounters.

And EACH ONE will NOT be a rejection, but a girl looking at you with eyes that say, “Hey! Come back! Don’t leave yet!”

This will give you an incredible amount of confidence.

And if you keep this up long enough, each time you LEAVE the girl will try harder and harder to get you to stay.

Because the more confident you are, the more attraction you’ll build.

Try it out, and see what happens.

Learn More:

Click Here To Learn How