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Two Sides Of The Same Coin

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Economics Of Seduction

There are two aspects meeting and dating quality women that are absolutely essential to understand. Without these, you won’t get very far, and you’ll end cursing the gods of randomness.

Of course, nothing is random, despite the plethora of metaphors indicating otherwise.

What makes this even more difficult, is that both of these elements are operating unconsciously, in everybody. So it could very well be that yours are messed up and you don’t even know it.

The trick is to elevate them to the conscious level, make sure everything’s in good working order, and then drop them back down to the unconscious level, so you can get back to having fun.

The first is criteria. You’ve got to know what you want in a woman. You’ve also got to know what you don’t want. Most guys have the first one, but not the second one. And even then it’s pretty basic. Like she’s got to be hot, and she’s got to like him.

However, as you well know, super hot girls can also be super crazy girls. If your only criteria is how she looks, you may be in for some trouble. So you’ll need to put in some time to figure out what you want.

The next idea to consider is your own exchange value. Now, most guys think that just because they’ve read a few articles about game online, that they are super bomb alphas and deserve the hottest girls on planet Earth.

Generally, that’s not the case.

The harsh truth is that most PEOPLE (girls and guys) severely overestimate their value.

Think of it this way. Do you think quality girls are hard to find? Or, if you’re a woman, do you think quality men are hard to find?

Well consider this harsh slap of truth to the face.

If YOU were high quality, high quality partners wouldn’t be hard to find.

Think of it this way. If you went down to your local flea market, with a couple grand stuffed in your pockets, would you have any trouble finding good things to buy? Nope.

On the other hand, if all you had were a couple of nickels, you’d complain that there was NOTHING of value there. That it was all over-priced garbage.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re having trouble finding quality mates, take a good hard look in the mirror.

How can you improve yourself? Develop social skills. Improve confidence, let those “tests” easily roll off your back without worrying about them. Have some faith in yourself, and in your life.

Refine your criteria, and refine what you’ve got to offer, and you’ll be fine.

How To Make Life Purr Like A Kitten

Slice Through Resistance Like Butter

Rev Up Your Life

What’s a chainsaw and a racecar have in common?

Other than they both make a lot of noise?

Both are designed to be more efficient at higher RPM’s. Or the faster the engine goes, the more effective it is.

If you listen to a chainsaw when it’s not cutting, when it’s kind idling, it sounds pretty rough and almost like something’s wrong with it.

But when you rev it up, it purrs like a kitten. (Not a kitten you’d want to pet, but you get the idea.)

If you’ve ever had one of those days when everything just “clicks” you know what that feels like.

All the lights are green, you get all the parking spaces up close. All the people you smile at smile right back (and some even smile first).

This is the way life is SUPPOSED to be.

When we are on purpose, when we humans have a solid goal, not just fort the next couple of days, but for life in general, it’s a lot easier to “click.” 

You’re humming along just like a chainsaw, slicing through all obstacles in your path.

If you DON’T have any idea of what you’re creating in life, it can feel like you’re running in circles.

You try one thing, it works for a while, then it falls to pieces. Then maybe something else, but you get the same result. You start off like gangbusters, but as soon as you run into trouble, it gets hard to find your mojo.

It’s easy to let your goals and direction be chosen by somebody else.

In fact, the way society is built, it takes an almost gargantuan effort to avoid being led around like a lost puppy.

Back in the old days, all you needed were your instincts, and you’d be fine. A desire for some kind of income, a desire for some kind of relationships, and some safety, and you were good.

But today you MUST choose. Not in extreme detail, just enough to give yourself some direction.

If you were wandering across the desert, for example, and you had zero idea where you were going, it’d be easy to wander in circles until you were buzzard food.

On the other hand, if you had a clear destination in mind, you’d have a much better chance.

Once you’ve got a clear direction pulling you forward, you’ll be much more “in tune” with what’s going on.

This Will Help:

Self Confidence Generator

Two Requirements For Happy Relationships

The Essential Ingredients That Are The Basis Of Every Lasting Relationship

Get These Right And You’ll Be On Easy Street

Many guys look at relationships the wrong way. So do many women. A common belief is that there is something “missing” and that once we get into a relationship with the right person, that missing piece will be filled, and we’ll be more complete.

That’s sort of true, but not in the way we think.

Part of that comes from our natural tendency to mix metaphors. We think in terms of creating like going somewhere. And what happens when you are going somewhere? There’s the going part, and the arriving part.

What happens after the arriving part? We usually think of sitting around and not doing much. 

Even when we talk about becoming “successful” in life (whatever  THAT means) we use terms like “I’ve arrived!”

Meaning all the “work” is done, and you just need to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it doesn’t really work like that.

In reality, we never really “arrive” anywhere. We get to new levels, new situations, expanded responsibilities and skills, but we never get to a point were we just get to kick back and enjoy life.

Even sports teams that win major championships don’t rest too long. They know after a couple weeks, they need to start getting in shape to defend their title.

If you’re in any kind of business, every successful product launch is the start of researching something even better.

A lot of problems guys have with girls is that they can’t find a girl who will fit into their ideal model of their ideal partner.

But here’s the thing. Humans are hard wired to see sexual partners as wealth creating partners.

For the longest time in human history, the main requirement to human bonding was a shared responsibility in finding and accumulating wealth, whatever “wealth” meant at the time.

Which means if you are looking for a partner, she’s at least got to have an understanding by what you mean by “finding and accumulating wealth.”

Now, this is a very vague term, and I don’t mean “money” when I say “wealth.” I mean whatever it is you are creating with your life. Whatever goals or careers you’ve got lined up.

The happiest couples compliment and support each other. It’s not a one way street.

This can only come naturally when there are two things present.

One is there must be real attraction. You can’t just hand her your resume and hope she’s convinced by your stats.

You’ve got to talk to her in a way that gets her juices flowing.

Not just once, but consistently.

The second thing you must have is an absolute faith in yourself that your plan for your life is important and worthy.

Sadly, most guys have neither of these.

If you don’t, start building them.

Is Your Inner Caveman Holding You Back?

Give Your Rational Mind A Chance

Leave Your Instincts Behind

Society is filled with paradoxes and contradictions.

A lot of them are simply because we are living in modern societies with caveman brains.

Our mind / body system was developed to live within groups of 200-300 people. Which can lead to problems in a society with hundreds of millions.

One idea is that we can hold about 200-300 people in our brain. Not necessarily their names, but their faces and how we interact with them. 

Like that girl you normally interact with down at the coffee shop. You see her outside of the coffee shop,  you would recognize her. Not necessarily from where, but you would see her face, feel that emotional signal of recognition.

Once you start going outside that 200-300 limit, it starts to get fuzzy. You start thinking you recognize people, when you really don’t.

Another holdover is our deep fear of being socially ostracized. Back in our caveman days, if we felt socially threatened, that was a HUGE and potentially life threatening issue.

So we developed all kinds of deep ninja emotions that kept us on guard of our social “health.”

Even a weird look, or seeing people talking in whispers would sound off alarm bells. 

Maybe they’re talking about us! Maybe the tribe is plotting something behind our back! Maybe we’re in big trouble!

These issues still plague us today. If you see a couple of people looking at you and whispering, you’ll immediately assume their talking trash about you.

Most people WOULDN’T assume they thought you were the most amazing person ever, and they were strategizing how to get on your good side.

The good news is these ancient social instincts can be overridden.

With a little bit of mental practice, you can ditch those old social fears, and grab the self confidence to do anything.

Imagine what you could do if you had ZERO social fear. If you could walk up and talk to that interesting stranger (who was super sexy or a potential super rich business partner) and talk to them as comfortably and fearlessly as an old buddy from kindergarten?

Imagine if you could stand up in a crowd of strangers, instantly command their attention and respect, and express your ideas in the best possible way.

This is your potential.

This is what happens when you leave your caveman instincts behind.

Are you ready?

Are You A Bully?

Is This Your Best Strategy For Gaining Compliance?

Stop Pushing People Around!

Many people are easy to persuade to do something. The truth about the best salesperson on any kind of sales force is that they are usually pretty high energy. You’ll see this in many different industries.

They may not be “in your face” type of high energy, but they are pretty relentless. In most sales, one technique (certainly not the best) is to simply keep closing until the client just gives up and buys.

There’s a famous book called “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” which is about being assertive. There’s a technique in there called “The Broken Record.” This is exactly like it sounds. You just keep repeating your point until the other side gives up.

It works great if your dealing with a fussy customer service person, or trying to get a refund without a receipt.  

What about sales, or even seduction?

First, lets consider sales. You’ve got a product, and your client may or may not want it. Ideally, they’d buy it for their own reasons. But if you sit around and wait for them to come up with their own reasons, you may be waiting a while.

So you start to push them, slightly. You say buy, they say no. You say buy, they say maybe. You say buy, they say give me a better deal. You say buy, they say OK.

Now, this may seem like some masterful sales technique that only advanced persuaders know, but it’s really only a hair above bullying.

You’re not really building up value in the product. Your just making it more uncomfortable for them to say no. So maybe by comparison, buying is looking like a better option. If only to get you out of their face.

The only problem comes when they get home, use the product, and find out it sucks. Then they feel conned. Angry. Cheated. By you.

Lots of guys do this with girls. Lots of girls have low self esteem. Lots of guys have low self esteem.

So what happens when you keep pressuring somebody that has low self esteem? They give in, that’s what.

But then they get buyers remorse. This is why you may be getting laid a lot, but then they vanish.

They are getting buyers remorse.

How do you avoid that? Don’t bully them. Don’t overwhelm them with what you want until they give in.

Take your time. Talk to them about things they like. Things they dream about. Their ideal future. Their ideal job. Their favorite movies, etc.

Of course, you’ve got to go back and forth a bit, ask and share, etc.

But if you spend some time opening them up, talking about what they like, they’ll start seeing you through the filter and frame of their own desires.

Which means they’ll start liking you for THEIR reasons, rather than yours.

Make It Easy:

mindpersuasion.com

Are You Ready To Leave The Pack?

Leave The Crowd Behind

Go You Own Way

Long time ago, I went on a backpacking trip in Scotland.

I was coming from the States, and was meeting a buddy of mine in some train station I’d never been to, next to some big clock, which was a popular meeting place.

I was coming from Southern California, and he was coming from Texas.

It seemed simple enough on paper, but the logistics were pretty complicated.

Especially since I hadn’t really planned HOW I was going to get there. I was just going to “wing it” as I went.

My first “test” came in getting from the London airport to the London train station to the Glasgow train station.

Luckily, there were enough other people who were leaving the airport, via bus, to the train station.

So I didn’t really need to do much thinking. A mix of following the signs, and following the crowd.

Mostly following the crowd.

When I finally arrived smack dab in the middle of Glasgow, I didn’t really remember much of how I got there.

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. It seems that humans are hard wired on a deep level to simply forget themselves, and go with the flow.

In fact, up until the recent past (and I mean the RECENT past) humans have done pretty good to kind of just “go with the flow.”

Go to school, show up every day, do your homework like you’re told, pick a college, send out some resumes, get a job, show up on time, do what you’re told, and you can make enough money to live a pretty good life.

In a sense, our entire society is built so we don’t have to do much “thinking.”

You may have to stop and look at a couple signs on the way, but then you just get right back in the shuffle.

And for many people, this is perfectly fine. So long as you’ve got enough extra cash left over every month to buy some nice things, it’s all good, right?

Only that way of living is quickly coming to a close.

For whatever reason, just following the crowd, and doing what you’re told is no longer good enough.

In fact, if that’s ALL you did, there’s a good chance you’d end up in a pretty bad place.

Now more than ever, it’s up to each and every one of us to wake up and see what’s going on.

NOT to to be super heroes and save society or anything corny like that, but to simply save ourselves.

Because as I’m sure you know, NOBODY is going to do this for you.

A really scary thought to be sure. But also incredibly liberating once  you fully accept it.

Once you break out of the “follow the crowd” mindset, there’s really not much you can’t do.

If enough people like you start doing that, it may very well save society.

Necessary Steps To Romantic Success

Face Your Fears

The Cave! Remember The Cave!

In many action type movies, you’ve got two powerful guys. A good guy, and a bad guy. Often times, the general story is the good guy and the bad guy are on a collision course, and the main climax is when they fight each other.

Remember in The Empire Strikes Back? Yoda told Luke he couldn’t be a true Jedi unless he faced Vader in the cave. Of course, Vader turned out to be his Father, which had all kinds of deep mysterious meanings in and off itself.

But the main reason so many action movies, (which are primarily marketed to guys) have this same structure is all guys must face their biggest fears before they move on to the second half of their lives.

The first half, the childhood half, is when they are dependent on others. The second half, the adult half, is when they become fully functioning adults.

This main battle of “good vs. evil” MUST happen in your life if you are to achieve true greatness. And when we’re talking about creating wonderful relationships with attractive women, that fear is pretty obvious.

Not just approach anxiety, but what you might call “expression anxiety.” You like her, and you’ve got to give her a chance to see if she likes you. Since girls’s attraction is much more dependent on personality, you’ve GOT to let her see the REAL YOU.

And for most guys, this is absolutely terrifying. If she sees and understands the real you, and rejects you, then NOTHING on Earth feels worse.

This is why guys spend all kinds of time on forums, seminars, reading books and other products. Following gurus around, going on boot camps.

It’s all designed to keep you from facing your fears.

But face your fears you must. Because on the other side is brilliance.

The good news is you don’t have to face your fears all at once. Since from the initial approach, to the time you make a commitment to your new partner, there’s going to be a LOT of stuff to work through.

Take your time. Take it slow. There’s no rush. Hopefully, you’re still building your life, no matter HOW old you are.

But you absolutely must accept that facing your fears is a necessary part of creating a positive relationship with a woman.

How do you do that?

Like I said, start small. Eye contact. Smile. A few words. Introduce yourself. Extend the conversation. Ask for contact number. Go on dates. Etc.

Just work on one level, until it’s easy, and keep moving up.

If you keep moving forward, and simply accept that everything that happens will make you stronger, you will not fail.

Forget gurus, forget men’s movements, forget finger pointing. Get going today, your future is waiting.

Are You Easily Swept Up?

Don't Be A Sheep!

Learn To Think For Yourself

I’ve been to a lot of seminars, for a lot of different subjects over the years.

And one thing I’ve noticed is that the “momentum” usually wears off after a while.

During the seminar, when you’re listening to the teacher talk, and imagining how much better your life is going to get, it feels pretty good. Especially when you meet all kinds of folks and stay up late in the lounge area talking about your big plans.

Then the seminar ends, you go back home, and it’s the same old routine.

I remember once I was waiting in this HUGE line to get this famous TV personalities autograph for his book. It was for an Xmas gift, and I was kind of shocked at how much of a following this guy had.

While I was waiting in line (for about 4 hours) I formed a “bond” with a few people standing around me.

We started talking about our personal lives, families etc. We made plans to get together in the future. Like we were old chums.

But as soon as we got our autographs, that “bond” vanished like a wisp of smoke.

Poof!

It’s easy to feel all kinds of feelings “in the moment,” only to later wonder what the heck happened.

This very common, since humans are, on a deep level, “pack animals.” We pretty much soak up the energy around us, and let it override any “independent” thinking.

Most people don’t like to hear things like this, but how else do you explain how some of those crazy fads come and go and then are quickly forgotten?

Even 70 years after WWII, Germans are still wondering how in the heck they could have collectively gone so incredibly crazy.

It’s easy, natural and common to be “swept up” in “group thinking.”

It’s something else entirely to be able to create your own “energy” which has direction, and is under your control.

Energy that will propel you forward matter WHAT the circumstances are.

Energy that will keep you on track to YOUR goals and dreams, not the current “trend” of the crowd.

Now, this isn’t as easy as programming your destination into your GPS and just sitting back while it tells you where to go, but it is VERY similar.

Choose your destination. Program it into your brain, and you’ll see that “energy” fill every situation you find yourself in.

So you can do YOUR thing, not the crowds.

The Caveman Pick Up Angle

Look For A Partner, Not A Lover

Economic Partners

Taking a big picture look is a big help in a lot of situations.

Finding a suitable partner is no different. 

So if you’re wondering how to best go about finding a girlfriend, this may help give you another perspective.

One of the biggest problems facing mankind is that we are living in a modern world with a caveman brain.

We lived as hunter-gatherers for hundreds of thousands of years. Before we were even human, really. So the instincts that kept us safe, alive and thriving are still very powerful.

Consider hunger. Back then, food was scarce. So those that had genes that made them eat until they couldn’t move any chance they got tended to last longer.

Those that had genes that made them always worry about their figures didn’t.

Consequently, all humans today, when presented with cheap and plentiful food tend to get fat. It’s very HARD to simply not eat when the opportunity is right in front of  you.

All of our other instincts are the same way. They helped us then, but now, not so much.

One thing to understand is how male-female relationships were back then. They were much different than they are now. Much of what we expect now is really a very recent addition, and often times just not true.

Most people have been brainwashed into thinking that partnership between males and females should be about fantastic feelings and sex that never ends.

That’s partly true. 

That’s the attraction that brings us together in the first place. But it’s not what keeps us together.

What keeps us together?

If we look back in our common ancestry, we’ll see the difference.

A mutual cooperation in the creation of wealth.

Men and women were attracted because of physical reasons. They stayed together for economic reasons.

Meaning they were both on the same team. They were both pursuing the same goal. They wanted as much wealth as they could get, for the family.

And when the kids got old enough, that was their job too. To create as much wealth as they could to keep the family safe and secure.

This was true all the way up to the industrial revolution. Only after that did it start to be possible for one person to make enough money for the whole family.

That’s when all these crazy notions about lifelong romance and sappy love stories started to become popular.

If that’s ALL you’re looking for, you’ll certainly find it. But it won’t last long.

How can you apply this to modern dating?

Just ask yourself, next time you’re thinking about approaching a girl:

“Do I want her on my team, to help me create wealth for my future family?”

And she should be asking herself the same question about you, so you’d better be ready to answer. Not directly of course, but through your approach to relationships and life.

This can go a long ways it getting rid of that approach anxiety that’s based on false ideas about human relationships.

Something to think about next time you’re out looking for ladies.

Why I Screamed My Brains Out

Kill Fear With A Bang

How To Quickly Kill Fear

If you’ve ever done any public speaking, you know a common trick is to look at people’s foreheads, or the tops of their heads.

This avoids some of the anxiety that comes from staring into a bunch of eyes staring back.

Another trick is to visualize everybody really happy after your speech, to give you a bit more confidence when you start.

Yet another trick is to start off with a bang, some kind of joke, or controversial statement.

I remember once I was going through toastmasters, and I was giving a speech on fear. What it is, how it’s represented, what’s real what’s not etc.

I started off by screaming at the top of my lungs for about five seconds.

I didn’t say that I was going to that. I just walked up, glanced down at my 3×5 cards as if I were about to start regular speech, and then let ‘er rip.

The funny part was that this was in a bookstore, where they have those coffee shops and a big area where people can sit. Some people thought it was pretty funny, some people got pretty angry.

But it certainly DESTROYED any nerves I had before speaking.

Now, I’m not recommending that you scream at the top of your lungs before starting anything that may cause some anxiety.

But what this DOES illustrate is that there are many mental “tricks” you can do that will help you overcome any fear.

Now, some of these are short term tricks, and some are long term strategies.

One of the BEST ways to obliterate fear is to create some very POWERFUL dreams that you are moving toward.

They don’t need to be concrete, or specific. Just something you know you’re moving toward. It’s also a good idea to choose one big thing in each area of life.

That way, no matter WHAT you are doing,  it will be easy to see it in the larger context.

Giving a speech can be pretty scary. But giving a speech KNOWING that it’s part of a skill building process that will get you a TON of money in the future will make it a lot less scary.

Especially when you’re ONLY focused on some “small” aspect of speaking, like using less “uh’s” or looking at the audience a larger percentage of the time.

Whenever you can see anything as a small step in a larger process, you’ll see it for what it is.

Not a “do or die” situation that’s going to make or break your existence.

Simply one small step on your road to inevitable success.

To learn how to do this on a deep level, check this out: