Tag Archives: Communication

Develop Massive Girl Getting Confidence

How To Get Insane Confidence

They say girls like a guy with “confidence.”

But what the heck does this mean?

First of all, there are plenty of kinds of confidence.

You might be VERY confident that you can make a cheese sandwich, but very UN-confident that you can play Beethoven on the piano.

Some people say you need to be confident around people.

That’s better than making a cheese sandwich (at least from her eyes) but it’s not quite the whole story.

Plenty people are VERY confident around their buddies, but freeze up around strangers.

So maybe being confident around strangers is what they mean.

Some salespeople are EXTREMELY confident since they talk to strangers all day, but they can’t get a girl’s number to save their life.

Now we’re getting closer.

The “confidence” they mean when they say “girls like a guy with confidence” is the confidence to talk COMFORTABLY to girls.

Not just her, but ALL girls.

Girls SAY they like guys with confidence.

But they are also INSANELY attracted to guys who are confident not just with her, but with ALL GIRLS.

If you’re ONLY confident with her, but collapse into a pile of mush around other girls, you won’t be a challenge to her. She’ll feel like she “has” you, and this will kill her attraction.

So when she sees you confident talking to ALL girls, she KNOWS she’s got to work to get you.

And this makes her VERY attracted to you, whether she likes it or not.

So, the million dollar question:

How, exactly, do you GET confident with all girls?

There’s a pretty easy way to practice. To ease your way there. To become INSANELY confident with ALL girls without EVER leaving your comfort zone.

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Be The Guy She Chases

Stand Out From Every Other Guy

Whenever we want something, but aren’t sure we can get it, we get mixed feelings.

What’s worse is when we KNOW we have to do something, but are pretty sure it’s going to suck.

Studying for a test, doing your taxes, cleaning out your garage.

Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between things we HAVE to do, and things we WANT to do.

Interacting with attractive ladies is like that for a lot of guys.

Obviously, having a decent relationship with a hottie feels pretty good.

But it can also feel like something you “should do.”

Society says so, your genes say so.

Compared to something like exercise, or getting ripped, which is much more of a personal choice.

If you were to announce to all your friends and family that you just decided to stop pursuing relationships with women, they would maybe think something was wrong with you.

Unless you have something MORE IMPORTANT that you are chasing.

If you say, “I don’t date because it’s too difficult,” it doesn’t sound so good.

But if you say, “I don’t have time to chase girls, I’m busy focusing on X,” (whatever X is) it sounds a LOT better. Admirable even.

And paradoxically, this will make you MUCH MORE attractive to most girls.

Why?

Because girls are used to guys chasing them. They are used to guys “cold approaching” them all day long.

But you?

You are chasing something MORE IMPORTANT than them.

When you choose what that is, and start chasing it, something pretty cool will happen.

Girls will start chasing you.

Well, they won’t literally be running after you down the street, but they will be looking at you much differently than every other drooling guy.

And you will have a feeling of choice that most guys don’t even know exist.

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How Specifically To Create Abundance

Create A Sexual Abundance Mindset

If you walked into a bank to get a loan, what would be the best strategy?

Unless you’re participating in those shady NINJA home loans (NINJA = No Income No Job Application), you need to show them you don’t really need the money.

If you have a solid business, steady customers, and a verifiable income stream, you’re good.

But if you’ve only got a half baked idea and lousy credit, they’ll kick you out.

Similarly, the best way to get a job is if you already have one.

Or at the very least, you’re entertaining many different offers.

Women are the same.

If you’ve ever had a girlfriend, then you know THAT’s when interacting with other girls is easiest.

But this can present a horrible catch 22.

You can’t get a girlfriend until you already have a girlfriend.

This is useless if you don’t have a girlfriend.

Or so it would seem.

Luckily, with girls, you don’t need to show a resume or your credit history.

All you need is the right behavior.

And what behavior do you exhibit if you HAVE a girlfriend?

Non-neediness. A deep belief that you are attractive to women. An absolute lack of scarcity. Or as they say in Law-of-Attraction circles, an “Abundance Mindset.”

Unfortunately, in those same LOA circles, they don’t really tell you HOW to get that mindset.

But in reality, it’s pretty easy.

It require you interact with reality a little bit differently.

You could call it the “hit and run” strategy.

All you need is any positive feedback from any female.

A smile, eye contact, anything.

Starting from there, you can build up a HUGE feeling of ABUNDANCE when it comes to ladies.

And every lady will smell it. (Or sense it or however women understand these things).

Even if you’ve never even KISSED a girl, you can build this up, without ever needing to TALK to girls.

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Radiate Powerful Energy

How To Radiate Attractive Energy

The human brain is pretty big.

Compared to other mammals, our brain is much bigger, as a percentage of body size.

And it’s much bigger as a percentage of energy used.

So to save energy, Mother Nature has invented a bunch of shortcuts.

If we had to figure stuff out from scratch every single time, we wouldn’t have survived.

In the old days, people that could think and react quickly tended to last much longer than those who sat around contemplating things.

One of these ways is how we judge other people.

Just think if it took you a week to get to know somebody, and THEN you got an “impression” of them.

That would be an extremely ineffective way to meet people.

Instead, we’ve developed a way to get a “first impression” in a matter of seconds.

Before we even talk to somebody.

You’re not going to like this idea, but here it is.

That girl you’re flirting with from across the bar may have a certain impression when you’re way over there, surrounded by your buddies.

You’re laughing and confident and laid back.

But when you approach, you suddenly become nervous and anxious.

The closer you get to her, the more she (subconsciously) CHANGES her “impression” of you.

And if you’re like most guys, by the time you get there, you (in her eyes) are much less attractive than you were a few minutes ago.

How to conquer this common problem?

By training your mind how to think about her, how to think about approaching and how to think about girls in general.

With the right mindset, you’ll ALWAYS be demonstrating behavior that is insanely attractive to most girls.
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Keep Your Edge For Eternal Attraction

How To Keep A Girl Interested

From a logical standpoint, modern relationships don’t make much sense.

Especially when you hear the same story over and over.

Guy attracts girl. Girl chases guy. Girl tries and succeeds at taming and domesticating guy.

Girl loses interest in guy and finds another guy.

None of these are conscious. A woman would have to be a horrible sociopath to set out to marry a guy just to divorce and ruin him.

In the beginning, she really DOES mean, “till death do us part.”

But in her mind, she subconsciously translates that to “as long as you stay the same, till death do us part.”

Unfortunately, a lot of guys have the habit of losing their edge once they get into a relationship.

Which makes them less attractive.

How can you avoid this?

Don’t lose your edge!

Create the mindset that says it’s the woman’s job to keep YOU in the relationship, not the other way around.

Just holding this mindset will keep you INSANELY attractive to all women.

It’s that ancient caveman desire all girls subconsciously crave.

The ancient hunter gather that is never tied down, because he CAN’T be tied down.

He’s always out looking for the big kill.

If you don’t have any huge goals, get some.

And build them big enough so you’ll not only be chasing them your whole life (as they keep getting bigger and bigger) but that they are ALWAYS bigger and more important than any relationship.

That way, all girls will chase you, and you can choose the best.

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Inside Out Thinking

How To Bake Your Inner Cake

One thing that confuses us humans is cause and effect.

Or more specifically, events that happen close together in time.

Much more often than is true, we tend to assume a causal link.

They’ve even shown that babies as young as six months demonstrate this.

They put a kid in front of a monitor, and they have two blips moving around.

Both are driven by two separate programs.

When both blips stop, it doesn’t cause the kid much worry.

The only thing that freaks the poor kid out is when one stops and the other doesn’t.

The researchers think this means the kid assumes there’s some kind of relationships between the blips.

So when one stops, and the other doesn’t, it messes up his “model of the world.”

As adults, we do this all the time.

It was what superstitions are made of.

The term, “Knock on wood” is from all the way back to when they thought evil creatures lived in trees, and you had knock on the tree to scare them away so they wouldn’t mess you up.

Another way this “cause-effect” misunderstanding pops up is when we try and put the cart before the horse.

Nobody is immune from this.

Even central bankers make this mistake.

Economists call it “pushing on a string.”

A causes B.

So they figure if they create B that will somehow make A happen.

This happens a lot when we consider human behavior.

We tend to copy “outer behavior” and wonder why we don’t get the same results.

That’s kind of like looking at a delicious cake, and thinking you can replicate it with ONLY the frosting.

You figure since the outer surface LOOKS the same, it will BE the same.

This is what happens when people try and copy outer behaviors with understanding what makes up the inner state.

More often than not, the outer behaviors are a natural OUTCOME of the inner state.

But if you try and copy the outer behaviors without the inner state, it will come across as incongruent.

The paradox is that with the right inner state, ANY outer behavior will do.

Kind of like a delicious cake.

The frosting, in many cakes, isn’t even needed.

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Confidence Beats Everything

Social Conditioning Skills

The other night I watched a sci fi movie on Netflix

Maybe you’ve seen it.

It’s called, “Paycheck,” with Ben Affleck.

He was an engineer, and he and his partner had an interesting way for him to take lucrative freelance jobs.

He’d go to a company, help them invent some new product, and they’d pay him.

And then his partner would erase the portion of his memory, so he couldn’t divulge the secret information to other companies.

But in the beginning, they showed him practicing some kind of martial art.

Even though he wasn’t a fighter, and the movie hadn’t gotten to the part where he had to USE any kind of “fighting,” it made sense.

If you are going to be a scientist and have portions of your brain wiped periodically, you need to stay in “fighting shape.”

Most people recognize that “staying in shape” is important.

Most sports can be improved if you have more endurance.

Boxing, basketball, tennis, even bowling or golf are easier if you’re in good shape.

Any lots of endurance-heavy sports like boxing or basketball sometimes come down to which athlete is in better shape.

Once you are too tired to lift your arms to block a punch, your boxing skills won’t count for much.

Kind of like Mark Twain’s truism about reading.

The difference between somebody who CAN’T read and the difference between somebody who WON’T read is NOTHING.

The difference between a boxer who CAN’T lift his arms due to fatigue, and a boxer who doesn’t KNOW HOW to lift his arms is nothing.

Both are going to get punched in the face.

What’s the best “conditioning” for “life skills?”

Social confidence.

Public speaking, debating, even acting skills can often boil down to who’s got the most confidence, not the best skills.

Even before George Clooney became world famous, and had to go to auditions like other struggling actors, he said confidence was WAY more important than skill.

Robin Williams started out in a TV show called “Mork and Mindy.”

(About an alien named Mork).

How did he get the part?

He showed up at the audition and ACTED like an “alien” the whole time.

When he was waiting, he actually sat in his chair upside down.

That’s not an advanced acting trick.

That’s advanced CONFIDENCE.

The more CONFIDENCE you have, the easier life is.

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Social Confidence

Expand Your Social Universe

Imagine if you lived in a large city, but you only went up and down three big boulevards.

Whenever you thought about going shopping, you’d only think of the stores on those streets.

Whenever you thought of checking out a band or seeing a movie, you’d only imagine what was available on those three streets.

Whenever your imagination drifted to the weekend, and you started to daydream about what you were going to do, it would ONLY cover those three streets.

A goofy example, right?

One of the common things they do in hypnosis training is to get people to forget letters or numbers.

Then they say the alphabet, without the vowels, for example, with a straight face.

Or they count to ten without five, thinking it’s normal.

Everybody watches and giggles.

But it’s really a metaphor for how we live.

Most people are interested in hypnosis so they can hypnotize others, or hypnotize themselves and get rid of some of the junk they’ve been carrying around.

But maybe the BEST thing you can do is to first DE-Hypnotize yourself.

So you can see MORE of the stuff that’s around you.

Because the guy in the three boulevard universe is not so far from the truth.

Most of us go to the same places, do the same things, talk to the same people.

Even about the same topics.

Consider that doing things specifically that you AREN’T comfortable doing can be a useful exercise in de-hypnotizing yourself.

Just going places you’ve never gone, or eating at new restaurants or going to new bars can be helpful.

But what is MOST helpful is to talk to people you’ve never talked to before.

Most of us are VERY closed minded. We tend to hang out with people with similar ideas and beliefs, so we reinforce those similar ideas and beliefs.

Pretty soon we think THOSE IDEAS are all that’s out there.

But there is much more than you could EVER discover.

Of course, you won’t get any ideas from buildings. Concrete can’t talk.

But the people there can.

And you’ll be AMAZED at some of the treasure people have to share.

But they won’t come to you.

You must go to them. When you do, you’ll realize it’s well-worth the journey.

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Social Confidence

How To Become Master Of The Universe

One famous expression or “truism” from NLP is “The map is not the territory.”

What does this mean?

Any map of reality we have is not reality itself.

We perceive the world through a very small window.

We only consciously see one out of every 25,000 bits of information.

If you count all the data hitting all of our senses, that’s how the ratio breaks down.

Our “pre-conscious processor” has to figure out what’s important, and what’s not important.

It also keeps us safe as best it can.

Unfortunately, it follows the “better safe than sorry” strategy.

Which is why we jump at shadows, an unexpected hand on our shoulder, even if the doorbell rings.

It also keeps us oblivious to things that MIGHT be dangerous.

Some things like snakes and vampires are PURE danger. So our pre-conscious processor forces them into our awareness so we an run.

But some things are only dangerous if we INTERACT with them.

So just to play it safe, it doesn’t allow us to even notice them.

Which means that most of us are working with incomplete and distorted maps of reality.

Our maps filter our own fears and biases.

Whenever we describe reality metaphorically, this is also a map.

Like, for example, in the LOA, they say “radiate your desires and the universe will provide them.”

Clearly, this is pretty vague. It sounds cool, but it doesn’t explain exactly HOW to do that.

How does one radiate, anyhow? And where exactly in the VAST UNIVERSE will our “desires” be provided? Somewhere out by Saturn? Jupiter?

I take this to mean by “radiating” we share our desires. We talk about them, plan them, take steps to make them happen. Demonstrate to the world that we are actively building them.

What about the “Universe?” Do we need to build a spaceship to go out and get our stuff?

I take “The Universe” to mean all the other people we interact with.

Unfortunately, if your preconscious processor is keeping you from noticing those same people, (because part of you doesn’t feel totally confident around strangers) you’ll be missing out on a LOT of opportunity.

Luckily, if you shift your mind slightly so you have a more ACCURATE map of reality, life will be a lot more fulfilling.

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Social Confidence

Destroy Fear of Rejection

Having more resources is better than having less resources.

If you were having a party, you might consider all the snacks and drinks at your place as resources.

If you were going shopping, you might consider a fat wallet a resource.

If you needed a date on short notice, you might consider all the girls’ numbers in your phone as potential resources.

Some things can switch from being burdens to resources.

Like you might consider a garage full of junk as a burden. Every time you look at them piled up in the corner you’d get a bit of anxiety. Maybe realize that some day you’re going to have to clean up all that junk.

But then you decide to have a garage sale. You move all the junk from the back out to your driveway.

Maybe you make a couple hundred bucks. Not only did all the bargain shoppers pay you for your junk, but they took it away for you as well.

Many people look at other people with a mix of desire and anxiety.

On the one hand, they look pretty cool, and might make good friends or potential lovers.

But on the other hand, they could represent potential rejection.

Depending on your background and history, you might have more of one than the other.

You probably know a few people who LOVE groups of people.

They see them as PURE resources. Nothing negative. Only potential positive.

This, of course, tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because they’re looking over the crowd with a positive expectation, they send out a certain “energy.”

So when they interact with people, that positive “energy” tends to generate the result they expect.

Luckily, being able to project that “positive energy” is a skill.

Meaning no matter where you are on the spectrum, you can tilt the scale in your favor.

Until you see EVERYBODY as pure potential. Positive resources you can “use” for any occasion.

Friends, business partners, lovers, whatever you want.

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