Tag Archives: fear

Develop Massive Female Confidence

All Girls Want You

Most guys think that walking up and number closing hundreds of girls will build up their confidence.

It can, but it requires CONSTANT motivation.

Meaning if you stop doing it for a week, it will seem incredibly hard to get started again.

But think of it from another perspective.

Our brains tend to generalize, delete, and distort.

Meaning our brains are incredibly fast, but not very accurate.

So whenever we see a new situation, our brains automatically reference our memories to get an idea of how to feel about it.

Let’s say you are trying the cold approach method of increasing confidence.

Every time you go to approach a new girl, you are going to automatically remember the last couple hundred girls you approached.

And you’ll do so within a few milliseconds. (Fast but inaccurate).

And then your brain will come back with a “feeling” indicating whether it (your brain) thinks it’s “safe” or not.

And what was the result of the last couple hundred cold approaches?

Even the best cold approachers have about an eighty percent FAILURE rate.

So the “feeling” you get back is going to say “DANGER!”

Every. Single. Time.

This is precisely you need so much motivation.

Luckily, this isn’t the ONLY way to build confidence.

Consider the “hit and run” approach.

This also requires that you interact with girls, either verbally or non verbally.

But you ONLY do so until you get a POSITIVE response from her.

THEN you eject. IMMEDIATELY.

It’s important you eject RIGHT WHEN you get any kind of positive signal from her.

This seems counterintuitive and a bit silly.

But consider how you’ll feel after doing this with a few dozen girls.

Your brain will still rapidly scan your past (fast and inaccurate).

But instead of coming back with a feeling that says, “girls mostly reject you, be careful,” it will come back with a MUCH BETTER FEELING.

One that is more like:

“All girls like you.”

Instead of needing momentum, to continually push past the fear of rejection, you’ll feel the positive force of “all girls like you” pulling you forward.

The crucial rule to follow is ALWAYS EJECT as soon as you get a positive “ping” from her.

Start with eye contact, move up to smiles, and then SHORT conversations.

As you as you get her laughing and smiling, BEFORE you number close, LEAVE.

This will create a fantastic feeling of “All girls want me!”

And when you get to THAT level, the world will be your playground.

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Radiate Powerful Energy

How To Radiate Attractive Energy

The human brain is pretty big.

Compared to other mammals, our brain is much bigger, as a percentage of body size.

And it’s much bigger as a percentage of energy used.

So to save energy, Mother Nature has invented a bunch of shortcuts.

If we had to figure stuff out from scratch every single time, we wouldn’t have survived.

In the old days, people that could think and react quickly tended to last much longer than those who sat around contemplating things.

One of these ways is how we judge other people.

Just think if it took you a week to get to know somebody, and THEN you got an “impression” of them.

That would be an extremely ineffective way to meet people.

Instead, we’ve developed a way to get a “first impression” in a matter of seconds.

Before we even talk to somebody.

You’re not going to like this idea, but here it is.

That girl you’re flirting with from across the bar may have a certain impression when you’re way over there, surrounded by your buddies.

You’re laughing and confident and laid back.

But when you approach, you suddenly become nervous and anxious.

The closer you get to her, the more she (subconsciously) CHANGES her “impression” of you.

And if you’re like most guys, by the time you get there, you (in her eyes) are much less attractive than you were a few minutes ago.

How to conquer this common problem?

By training your mind how to think about her, how to think about approaching and how to think about girls in general.

With the right mindset, you’ll ALWAYS be demonstrating behavior that is insanely attractive to most girls.
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Keep Your Edge For Eternal Attraction

How To Keep A Girl Interested

From a logical standpoint, modern relationships don’t make much sense.

Especially when you hear the same story over and over.

Guy attracts girl. Girl chases guy. Girl tries and succeeds at taming and domesticating guy.

Girl loses interest in guy and finds another guy.

None of these are conscious. A woman would have to be a horrible sociopath to set out to marry a guy just to divorce and ruin him.

In the beginning, she really DOES mean, “till death do us part.”

But in her mind, she subconsciously translates that to “as long as you stay the same, till death do us part.”

Unfortunately, a lot of guys have the habit of losing their edge once they get into a relationship.

Which makes them less attractive.

How can you avoid this?

Don’t lose your edge!

Create the mindset that says it’s the woman’s job to keep YOU in the relationship, not the other way around.

Just holding this mindset will keep you INSANELY attractive to all women.

It’s that ancient caveman desire all girls subconsciously crave.

The ancient hunter gather that is never tied down, because he CAN’T be tied down.

He’s always out looking for the big kill.

If you don’t have any huge goals, get some.

And build them big enough so you’ll not only be chasing them your whole life (as they keep getting bigger and bigger) but that they are ALWAYS bigger and more important than any relationship.

That way, all girls will chase you, and you can choose the best.

Click Here To Learn How

Get Them Competing For You

Get Girls Competing For You

Why do girls flake?

The biggest reason is that they have low interest.

As much as guys like to think otherwise, the way a girl behaves around you is HIGHLY DEPENDENT on her interest level in you.

Compare how she behaves around a good looking, tall, athletic rich guy, compared to some homeless guy.

(Don’t worry, you don’t need to be tall, good looking, athletic or rich).

They say you can judge people by how they treat the “help.”

Meaning how well they treat people they DON’T need to be nice to.

But even then that’s not a great gauge.

There’s polite behavior, and there’s behavior that’s driven by attraction and desire.

And if a girl has attraction and desire for you, she’ll behave VERY WELL.

Meaning she won’t flake, she won’t be late, she won’t stare at her phone when she’s with you.

She (the very same girl) will do ALL these things with a guy she has little or no interest in.

The way most guys go about doing this is backwards.

They walk up to dozens of girls, get a bunch of numbers, and hope that eventually one of them will have “high interest.”

This strategy DOES work. Because there ARE plenty of girls out there that WILL have high interest in you naturally.

But finding them can be a real chore. Even if one out of ten girls will really like you the way you are, going through nine rejections is pretty tough.

A much better strategy is to slowly change how you naturally are. Change your outlook, change the way you view the world and your place in it.

If you do that, then you’ll slowly increase the percentage of girls who like the NATURAL YOU.

And once you cross a specific tipping point, THEY will compete for YOU.

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Massive Self Confidence

How To Get Six Pack Confidence

There’s always been a debate about what makes up our “humanness.”

We know we are “animals” like all of other “animals.”

We share internal organs, brain, blood, bones, skin, etc.

But why are humans SO much different?

One thing is that we are self-aware.

Another is that we can speak.

Another, more important thing, is we can learn.

Not just simple things, like fetching a ball or simple sign language.

But complex things like the mathematics to describe space travel.

Science to understand medicine, so one “brain” can operate on another “brain.”

We also have a lot of instincts.

We are naturally frightened of certain things, and we are naturally drawn to certain things.

When you smell a particular odor, you don’t need to “think” how to respond.

It happens automatically.

Athletes have known for centuries that you can “train” in new “instincts.”

This is the whole gimmick behind both “Karate Kid” movies.

Wax on, wax off, until it’s programmed into the muscle memory.

Some things, we learn once, and that’s it.

Once you learn how to ride a bike, or how to tie your shoes, you’ll never need to “re-learn.”

But other things, usually things that involve interacting with other people, aren’t like that.

These are kind of like endurance.

If you started jogging every day, it might take a while before you could run 10K in less than 45 minutes.

And you’d have to KEEP jogging every day to maintain that level of endurance.

Nobody thinks, before they start any physical training program, that they will get to a level where it will become “permanent” and they can STOP exercising.

If you want to get a six pack, it’s going to take effort to GET IT, and it’s going to take effort to MAINTAIN IT.

Social confidence is the same thing. It’s not “set and forget” like riding a bike.

It’s not a certain technique that you “learn how” to do.

There ARE techniques that ARE simple to learn, but they require a certain level of social confidence to do.

For example, it’s pretty simple to learn how to use your gestures effectively, to communicate on a subconscious level.

To get whoever is listening to you (individual or group) to take a certain action.

But in order to be able to DO that certain technique, you’ve got to have a base level of social confidence.

Luckily, there are plenty of exercises that will let you GET that much social confidence, and KEEP it when you get there.

Just like a six pack or a sub-45 minute 10K.
Click Here To Learn How

Inside Out Thinking

How To Bake Your Inner Cake

One thing that confuses us humans is cause and effect.

Or more specifically, events that happen close together in time.

Much more often than is true, we tend to assume a causal link.

They’ve even shown that babies as young as six months demonstrate this.

They put a kid in front of a monitor, and they have two blips moving around.

Both are driven by two separate programs.

When both blips stop, it doesn’t cause the kid much worry.

The only thing that freaks the poor kid out is when one stops and the other doesn’t.

The researchers think this means the kid assumes there’s some kind of relationships between the blips.

So when one stops, and the other doesn’t, it messes up his “model of the world.”

As adults, we do this all the time.

It was what superstitions are made of.

The term, “Knock on wood” is from all the way back to when they thought evil creatures lived in trees, and you had knock on the tree to scare them away so they wouldn’t mess you up.

Another way this “cause-effect” misunderstanding pops up is when we try and put the cart before the horse.

Nobody is immune from this.

Even central bankers make this mistake.

Economists call it “pushing on a string.”

A causes B.

So they figure if they create B that will somehow make A happen.

This happens a lot when we consider human behavior.

We tend to copy “outer behavior” and wonder why we don’t get the same results.

That’s kind of like looking at a delicious cake, and thinking you can replicate it with ONLY the frosting.

You figure since the outer surface LOOKS the same, it will BE the same.

This is what happens when people try and copy outer behaviors with understanding what makes up the inner state.

More often than not, the outer behaviors are a natural OUTCOME of the inner state.

But if you try and copy the outer behaviors without the inner state, it will come across as incongruent.

The paradox is that with the right inner state, ANY outer behavior will do.

Kind of like a delicious cake.

The frosting, in many cakes, isn’t even needed.

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Confidence Beats Everything

Social Conditioning Skills

The other night I watched a sci fi movie on Netflix

Maybe you’ve seen it.

It’s called, “Paycheck,” with Ben Affleck.

He was an engineer, and he and his partner had an interesting way for him to take lucrative freelance jobs.

He’d go to a company, help them invent some new product, and they’d pay him.

And then his partner would erase the portion of his memory, so he couldn’t divulge the secret information to other companies.

But in the beginning, they showed him practicing some kind of martial art.

Even though he wasn’t a fighter, and the movie hadn’t gotten to the part where he had to USE any kind of “fighting,” it made sense.

If you are going to be a scientist and have portions of your brain wiped periodically, you need to stay in “fighting shape.”

Most people recognize that “staying in shape” is important.

Most sports can be improved if you have more endurance.

Boxing, basketball, tennis, even bowling or golf are easier if you’re in good shape.

Any lots of endurance-heavy sports like boxing or basketball sometimes come down to which athlete is in better shape.

Once you are too tired to lift your arms to block a punch, your boxing skills won’t count for much.

Kind of like Mark Twain’s truism about reading.

The difference between somebody who CAN’T read and the difference between somebody who WON’T read is NOTHING.

The difference between a boxer who CAN’T lift his arms due to fatigue, and a boxer who doesn’t KNOW HOW to lift his arms is nothing.

Both are going to get punched in the face.

What’s the best “conditioning” for “life skills?”

Social confidence.

Public speaking, debating, even acting skills can often boil down to who’s got the most confidence, not the best skills.

Even before George Clooney became world famous, and had to go to auditions like other struggling actors, he said confidence was WAY more important than skill.

Robin Williams started out in a TV show called “Mork and Mindy.”

(About an alien named Mork).

How did he get the part?

He showed up at the audition and ACTED like an “alien” the whole time.

When he was waiting, he actually sat in his chair upside down.

That’s not an advanced acting trick.

That’s advanced CONFIDENCE.

The more CONFIDENCE you have, the easier life is.

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Destroy The Evil One

How To Easily Kill Fear

Reframes can be very powerful.

Especially if after the reframe things seem a lot easier.

Because when we humans give meaning to something, even if the meaning isn’t true, we act as if it is.

This happens under hypnosis all the time.

People can be hypnotized to think a lemon is a cheeseburger.

And when they eat the lemon whole, (in front of stunned observers) it tastes just like a cheeseburger.

Even after, when they KNOW they’ve been hypnotized, they remember it as a cheeseburger.

They “meaning” of that thing they were holding was not a sour citrus fruit, but their favorite food.

We do this to ourselves all the time, but in the opposite direction.

Sometimes before we do something, we imagine it’s going to be really, really scary.

And often times, this keeps us from doing it.

But if we do it anyway (feel the fear and do it anyway) then we realize there was nothing to fear in the first place.

While this technique works (to conquer false fears) it’s not very efficient.

This is why Milton Erickson ditched this method when he invented “Ericksonian Hypnosis” or covert hypnosis.

He used to have his clients to all kinds of crazy things to prove their fears weren’t real.

But then he learned how to destroy their fears by telling stories.

This is the power of reframing.

You can reframe things FIRST without having to “prove” the reframe.

This is essentially what the “feel the fear and do it anyway” theory is.

You reframe the fear through action.

But it’s just as effective (and much more comfortable) to reframe the fear by trying on different thoughts in different combinations.

This way, you can realize things are safe and enjoyable BEFORE needing to prove it.

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Social Confidence

Destroy Fear of Rejection

Having more resources is better than having less resources.

If you were having a party, you might consider all the snacks and drinks at your place as resources.

If you were going shopping, you might consider a fat wallet a resource.

If you needed a date on short notice, you might consider all the girls’ numbers in your phone as potential resources.

Some things can switch from being burdens to resources.

Like you might consider a garage full of junk as a burden. Every time you look at them piled up in the corner you’d get a bit of anxiety. Maybe realize that some day you’re going to have to clean up all that junk.

But then you decide to have a garage sale. You move all the junk from the back out to your driveway.

Maybe you make a couple hundred bucks. Not only did all the bargain shoppers pay you for your junk, but they took it away for you as well.

Many people look at other people with a mix of desire and anxiety.

On the one hand, they look pretty cool, and might make good friends or potential lovers.

But on the other hand, they could represent potential rejection.

Depending on your background and history, you might have more of one than the other.

You probably know a few people who LOVE groups of people.

They see them as PURE resources. Nothing negative. Only potential positive.

This, of course, tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because they’re looking over the crowd with a positive expectation, they send out a certain “energy.”

So when they interact with people, that positive “energy” tends to generate the result they expect.

Luckily, being able to project that “positive energy” is a skill.

Meaning no matter where you are on the spectrum, you can tilt the scale in your favor.

Until you see EVERYBODY as pure potential. Positive resources you can “use” for any occasion.

Friends, business partners, lovers, whatever you want.

Click Here To Learn How

Love Life Party

Turn Life Into A Playground

I had a buddy once who was going through some tough times.

He was seeing a counselor, and the counselor gave him an interesting homework assignment.

To go to his local playground once a week, for an hour, and just watch the kids play.

He had a note from his doctor, so the cops wouldn’t think he was a predator or anything.

One of his issues is that he was emotionally closed off. And it had ruined his last couple of relationships, and it was affecting his job.

The idea of watching kids play was to help him “model” their behavior.

Usually it’s the other way around. One of our jobs as adults (if we have kids) is to model good behavior that our kids will copy.

But my friend was trying to do the opposite.

He was trying to copy the kids behavior, at least on a subconscious level.

Being able to run around and play without worrying about being judged or told whatever they were expressing was wrong.

If he could be more like that in his real life, he would have a better time expressing himself.

All of us go through dramatic changes as we grow up. Some worse than others.

We pick up tons of baggage, stuff that we instinctively thought was protective at the time.

Unfortunately, our brains tend to generalize a lot.

If you got yelled out in third grade by your angry teacher, a “correct” response would be to decide that your particular teacher, in that particular context (whatever was going on a the time) was a little bit sketchy.

However, our brains don’t work like that. They are lightning fast, but not very accurate.

So the natural conclusion to getting yelled at by an authority figure, as a little kid is that “expressing myself is sometimes dangerous.”

The more we experience events like that, the stronger that belief becomes.

And for some of us, just the idea of asserting ourselves in public is pretty nerve wracking.

Like if a waiter brings the wrong order, some people would have a hard time asking the waiter to fix it.

However, there are plenty of ways to “undo” those unconscious learnings and generalizations.

The more you do, the more socially outgoing and confident you’ll be.

Imagine being able to express yourself anywhere, anytime, and with anybody, and having absolutely zero fear.

You’d make more money and have much better relationships.

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