Tag Archives: Influence

Become A Super Hero Persuader

How To Disappear Hidden Objections

It’s very hard to do something when we are afraid to do it.

Most of the time, we think of this from our own perspective.

But it can be very helpful to see this from others as well.

We all have the experience of trying to convince somebody to do something.

And they “sort of want to” but they are a little scared at the same time.

Maybe you want to go out and be social, but your buddy wants to play video games.

They’ll never say, “Yeah, going out and meeting people sounds fantastic. But I’m kid of scared of rejection or saying something stupid and looking like an idiot, so I’d rather stay here and play video games.”

Instead they say, “Dude, that’s lame, let’s just chill here.”

One of the common tactics of avoid unpleasant situations is to condemn that which we fear.

It’s kind of an internal reframe.

I don’t want to go out because I’m afraid of rejection, I don’t want to go out because going out is lame.

They may give a few supporting arguments for the “lame” part, making their argument sound logical.

Cover charges, waiting in line, traffic, etc.

But the REAL reason is the same.

Carefully hidden beneath all of their surface structure “logic.”

The common response is to argue with their surface structure logic.

But since that’s just a cover for the REAL issue (in this metaphor social anxiety) it will only REINFORCE that the REAL issue is the surface level.

You could try and “prove” you are right by forcing them to admit they’re really scared, so you could tell them there’s nothing to be scared about.

But that would make them dig even deeper.

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about? I just don’t to wait in line so I can spend $20 for a gin and tonic!”

A much BETTER strategy would be to acknowledge the real issue, and just leave it be.

Sometimes you NEED the objection to overcome it.

But often times this isn’t the case.

You just need to do the opposite.

Frame your idea so that it’s so compelling, they’ll overcome their own objection.

This way, even if you’re wrong about the objection, it won’t matter.

Luckily, pretty much any idea can be presented so it’s MORE powerful than any internal objections they may have.

Which is even better, since in overcoming their own objections (usually subconsciously) they’ll convince themselves it was THEIR idea all along.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Free Yourself From Unenlightened Persuasion

Secret Pac Man Magic

When I was a kid me and my buddies loved to play Pac Man.

There were lots of old school video games.

But Pac Man was unique.

In that there was allegedly some secret “pattern” that once you learned it, it would allow you to easily escape the dudes trying to eat Pac Man.

Lots of video games have “cheats,” but for Pac Man it was a little different.

It was like a secret system.

Of course, nobody knew what that system was.

Everybody knew somebody who saw somebody use it.

It seems we humans love to think along these lines.

Of some secret shortcut that exists, and only those “in the know” have access to it.

Once I was told by a professor in college that companies had secretly invented tires that never wear down and nylons that never run.

But if they released them to the public, they wouldn’t make nearly as much money.

Maybe it’s true, maybe not, but it seems that with some clever marketing, if you DID have a tire that never wore down, you’d make a ton of money.

On the other hand, there ARE some things that do seem like shortcuts.

But they only appear to be shortcuts to others who don’t know the “system.”

If you work any system long enough, you’ll figure out all the angles.

Kind of like that movie, “Groundhog Day.”

Poor guy lived the same day over and over and over.

But by the end, he had everything down PERFECTLY.

The good news is that we don’t need to relive every day, or take a bunch of time to learn all the angles.

Because there really IS a set of “shortcuts.”

Shortcuts in human thinking and behaving.

The people that know about these shortcuts, and more importantly, how to deliver them, make TONS of money.

And they have been for a LONG time.

And many of the folks that are naturally persuasive use these also.

They just don’t know it.

So when you learn these, and find out just how effective they are, it’s up to you whether you want to share them or not.

But it IS pretty cool to let others think you’ve discovered some kind of magic trick.

Learn How:
Seven Laws

Angels In The Hallway

The Either Or Pattern

We humans like choice, but not too much.

Choosing between 3 or maybe 4 things is pretty easy.

Which makes sense.

They say we can hold between 5 and 9 (7 +/- 2) things in mind at once.

So looking at three kinds and choosing one means we’re really thinking of six things at once.

The pros and cons of each choice (pro and con times 3).

When we get up to four, it’s kind of stretching our brains.

Looking at five things, it starts to get difficult.

This is what marketers have found when experimenting with different choices on supermarket shelves.

Three variations seems to be the sweet spot.

But there’s another way to look at choice.

How we compare things to one another.

Students were asked to put their hands in a bucket of water, and guess the temperature.

The “test bucket” was always the same temperature.

But their “guess temperature” was dependent on what their OTHER HAND was doing.

If their other hand was in warm water, they under-estimated the test bucket.

If their other hand was in cold water, they over-estimated the test bucket.

So when offering a choice to somebody, how you present that choice will have a HUGE impact on how they choose.

Example:

A marketer was trying to sell a kitchen gadget. It had a few features and was $150.

People would look at it on the shelf, all by it’s lonesome, and only a few people would buy it.

All he did was take a much more expensive gadget ($400 or so) and put it next to the $150 gadget.

The $400 gadget had only a few more features.

So the $150 looked CHEAP by comparison.

Simply by rearranging his shelves, he sold WAY more stuff.

There are tons of ways to leverage this.

Especially if you already have two choices, and there is ONE that you prefer.

Just present the costs of the other choice (the one you don’t want them to choose) as being disproportionately higher than the associated benefits.

Then when they choose, it will be THEIR choice.

Even though you “helped” them make it.

Luckily, this is pretty easy to do conversationally.

Just take a little bit of thought before presenting your ideas, and present them accordingly.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Treachery Is Everywhere

The Ultimate Origin Story

Lately there have been a lot of comic book characters getting a lot of attention.

Both “Universes” (DC and Marvel) have their own big plans.

And many lesser known comic book characters have been popping up.

If they look back on Western Culture in a couple thousand years, they’ll see our comic book heroes the same way we view Greek Mythology.

They share essentially the same archetypes.

Even non-superhero movies share a similar archetype.

That of the “Hero’s Journey.”

Even movies that don’t have anything to do with heroes of any kind follow this main template.

Something “non-normal” happens to a “normal” guy or gal, they have to step up their game and take care of business.

Whether it’s a coming of age story of a junior high school girl or a farm boy going out into space to blow up the Death Star, the structure is the same.

Funny thing is that most people focus on the hero, or the his or her journey.

After all, that’s where all the action takes place.

That’s the reason for the story in the first place.

But the interesting thing is that in nearly every single hero’s journey, the hero is CALLED.

And most of the time, they don’t have a choice.

Even then, they are often called, they refuse the call, and then they are put into a position where they HAVE to take the journey.

In fact, this “call and refusal” is in most hero’s journey stories.

It’s an essential element.

Some say this is an echo of being born.

We were safely in the womb, and the birth contractions started.

As if we said, “NO F-ing way! I’m not going out there!”

But then we HAD to.

Boom.

Welcome to Earth.

The cool thing about being a grown up is you can play both sides.

You can still be “called” to go on journeys.

And you can call others.

At the same time, everybody wants to BE a hero, but we all NEED a hero to help us along.

You can be both.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Split Open Their Mind

Awaken Their Most Powerful Instinct

One of things that causes us the most problems is having a “mismatch” of our instincts and our modern world.

This is pretty easy to understand when it comes to something like hunger.

An “instinct” that makes us hungry any time we see or smell food, even if we weren’t hungry before.

Back when it took a lot of effort (and sometimes a lot of risk) to GET food, this was a healthy trait.

It kept us always searching for food.

Imagine if we NEVER felt hungry, no matter what!

Sure, if you’d like to lose a few pounds, this may be a dream come true.

But what if you not only never got hungry, but food tasted totally neutral?

If you HAD to remember to EAT?

Most people wouldn’t think about it, and we’d all be rail thin.

Luckily, we HAVE a never-ending desire to eat.

And plenty of other instincts as well.

But like hunger, one of our big problems in modern society is we STILL have these ancient instincts.

Many of them are very subtle, and they operate outside of our conscious awareness.

When you are OVERLY obedient to your “hunger instinct” it’s pretty hard NOT to notice.

But many of these other instincts operate in a way so we NEVER realize what’s happening.

However, some people DO understand these ancient instincts, and understand them VERY WELL.

And they tend to USE them in clever ways.

One of our PRIMARY instincts is to follow somebody who “resonated” genuine authority.

Most of our instincts were put together long ago, when most of us were nomads.

And nomads need a leader.

Without a strong leader, any ancient tribe was lost.

But the lucky tribes who had a STRONG leader, they’d follow him or her to the ends of the Earth.

And just like our hunger instinct, all humans are hard wired to CRAVE the feeling of being near a naturally authoritative and strong leader.

Of course, we don’t need to follow crazy people out into the wilderness.

What would be a modern equivalent of a “tribe” of people following a strong “tribal” leader?

The inspirational coach who leads a team of misfits to a championship.

The genius business person to leads a company to greatness.

The mesmerizing storytellers (actors, directors, writers) who lead our emotions to wonderful places.

Why not YOU?

Learn More:

Cult Leader

Dream Big Baby

Interest Rates and Fantasies

Some of the laws of economics are pretty simple to understand.

It can get VERY complicated, but it doesn’t have to.

And on a personal level, economics is inseparable from basic human behavior.

The crux of interest rates, a pretty complex subject, has to do with how humans think about desires and time.

We’d rather have something NOW than later, all else equal.

Because we want it more NOW than later, something “later” has to be worth MORE if we were to not get it now.

In terms of dollars and cents, we’d like to have a hundred bucks today, OR if we had to wait a week, we might accept a hundred a ten bucks.

This is the reason why we have things like interest rates.

Why when you borrow money, you have to give back more than what you got.

Theoretically, the person loaning you the money wants to keep his money.

And the only way he’ll loan it to you is you give him back slightly MORE in the future.

In a sense, the difference is the “cost” of money.

Like you have to pay ten bucks to rent somebody’s money for a year.

Of course, when you involve central banks and debt based money, it gets pretty complicated.

But the idea of thinking about things in the FUTURE is very compelling.

Things that we don’t have, but we want.

Unfortunately, we rarely get an opportunity to talk about those things.

Even if you were hanging out with your friends, and started talking about your ideal future, they wouldn’t support you a hundred percent.

Even family members tend to get a bit sketchy when talking about ideal futures.

Most people have a very vague idea of their ideal future.

But at the same time they have a ton of anxiety.

This is why few people ever set real goals.

The idea of achieving a goal is pretty cool.

But the idea of trying and failing is pretty real, so people tend to not think about it.

Which is why if YOU started to talk about your ideal future, they would start to feel uneasy.

A lot of times, this is where all their judgement comes from.

When they start telling you WHY you shouldn’t dream big like that.

But here’s the thing.

You can flip the switch.

Meaning don’t talk about YOUR ideal future, talk about theirs.

Carefully elicit it, and get them talking about the absolute BEST thing they hope will happen.

Most people don’t even think in such specific terms about their own future.

Let alone be asked about it by somebody else.

Why do this?

Because after that simple conversation with you, they will see YOU as different from every other human on Earth.

And when they think of you, they’ll subconsciously associate their biggest dreams and fantasies.

Think that would be useful?

Learn More:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Give Your Mind to The Cloud

How To Find Their Treasure Map

Buying a gift for somebody can be fun.

But it can also be difficult.

Especially if it’s a relationship that’s just started.

Sure, you could buy something easy, and expensive.

Or you could get something creative.

Getting a simple, expensive thing (like jewelry) is usually safe bet.

But it doesn’t really show that you spent a lot of thought.

Only money.

On the other hand, if you get something that isn’t ordinary, but something that is special to them, it says something completely different.

That you know them, and more importantly, that you spent a lot of time and effort thinking.

People like to know that we are thinking about them when we they aren’t around.

However, the risk of getting something unique is they’ll look at it and wonder (WTF….?).

And have to pretend they enjoy it.

Older couples tend to know EXACTLY what to get each other.

When I was a kid, at Xmas time, my parents would buy their own gifts, and then wrap them up and pretend they were from each other.

But when you barely know somebody, getting them something that resonates with them is VERY powerful.

The thing is, every time we do ANYTHING with another person in mind, we use the same structure.

Any time we get our ideas out of our heads and hopefully into their heads, we face the same choices.

Simple ideas that we KNOW will work, but will be recognized as simple and common.

Or UNIQUE ideas that show them we KNOW them, and when we think we think with THEM in mind.

If you can remember small details about somebody, especially things that are VERY important to them, you’ll win BIG points.

Doesn’t matter if they are customers, friends or lovers.

Most people try and guess.

But if you LISTEN (and remember) they’ll tell you EVERYTHING.

Just below the surface are ALL of their magic buttons.

Ask the right questions, they’ll give you their own secret treasure map.

Once you’ve got that, EVERYTHING will be easy.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Their Deep Inner Dreams

Doubled Edged People Secrets

Externalizing is a very common human strategy.

It happens subconsciously, and presents itself in many forms.

One way to “discover” this is by doing the “shadow energy” exercise.

The theory is whenever we come across somebody who “rubs us the wrong way,” it’s because they remind us of US, on some level.

So to prevent us from finding out that “bad stuff” about ourselves, we (or rather our ego) throws up a protective barrier.

That barrier comes across to our conscious minds as a form of “distaste” for that person.

We usually come up with some logical sounding reasons, usually ones that make US look good, and THEM look bad.

This is extremely common.

We ALL do this, ALL the time.

Not just “those other people.”

What’s rare is being able to use this as a personal growth tool.

This is where the “shadow energy” exercise comes in.

We acknowledge that we feel “distaste” for them because they remind us of us.

Then we find a place to sit and contemplate that part of ourselves we don’t want to acknowledge.

You don’t really need to address it, or confront it, or even understand it.

All you really need to do is acknowledge that it exists, and accept it.

Everybody has TONS of imperfections, this is just another one of them.

By doing this, you will discover something pretty cool.

It’s not being perfect or not perfect that makes us who we are.

It’s our opinion of ourselves.

No matter WHO you are, if you ACCEPT yourself completely, so will everybody else.

Another cool thing you discover is that the LESS people out there are that “rub you the wrong way,” the MORE you’ll be able to get.

In fact, it cuts (in a good way) both ways.

The MORE you accept yourself, the MORE others will accept you.

And the more you do so via the shadow energy exercise, the MORE resources (other people) you’ll find out in the world.

Once you understand that you can get ANYTHING from other people, so long as you help them FEEL GOOD first, there is really nothing you can’t get.

All you need to do is talk to people in the right way.

Ask them the right questions in the right order, and they’ll be MORE than happy to help you get whatever you want.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Fantasy Land OF her Mind

Fly Under Her Radar

Girls love it when guys chase them.

Especially guys they like.

They KNOW that as soon as they send a text, his mind will be spinning in circles trying to figure out the best way to respond.

And when it comes to sex, the language they use (with other girls) explains EXACTLY how they feel about the power dynamic.

“Maybe I’ll LET HIM f–k me after two weeks.”

Even when guys talk amongst themselves, they use this kind of language.

“I HOPE I get laid.”

Even that short phrase, “get laid” explains how guys view sex.

Lay is a transitive verb. A transitive verb requires an ACTOR and an OBJECT. You lay down and object. So when you say “get laid” you are referring to YOURSELF as the OBJECT.

For example, consider this sentence:

“I laid the book down on the table.”

You are the actor, the BOOK is the object.

Now this sentence:

“I hope I get laid.”

In this, the actor is UNSTATED. But the OBJECT is you.

Not the actor. An object HOPING to be MANIPULATED by an actor.

This is why when you FLIP THE SCRIPT, she won’t know WHAT the heck is going on.

Meaning you need to get HER thinking about YOU without her thinking YOU are trying to do that.

She has to FEEL LIKE it’s just “happening.”

This is the DREAM for women.

NOT to be “picked up” or “pursued” by some kind of player or PUA.

She wants to FEEL DESPERATE ATTRACTION and not know why.

This is what all those romance movies are about.

Not some PUA spitting game.

Some guy that she falls for and has NO IDEA why.

How do you do this?

The first step is to avoid all game type technology.

Speak in a way that sounds normal, but has DEEP SEDUCTIVE technology buried so far inside the language it’s undetectable.

But it works like magic.

Because it was INVENTED by the greatest hypnotist who ever lived.

And he was a MAGICIAN with people’s emotions.

Imagine what happens when you use them on cute girls?

Learn More:

Hypnotic Seduction

Stock Market Fight

Proper Use Of The Quotes Pattern

The “quotes” pattern from NLP is VERY powerful.

Even if you “misuse” it.

Which most people do.

Here’s how it works.

You’re next to some girl at a bar or club or party.

And you’ve already broken the ice. Maybe you know her name, maybe you don’t.

But you are chit chatting about whatever.

Then you point out your “friend” across the room.

“See that guy?” you ask, and she nods her head.

“He’s got massive balls. I mean yesterday he walked up to a girl, just started dancing with her, and right in the middle of the song he looked at her and say, ‘Why don’t we get out of here, so I can show you how you can have such a powerful orgasm you’ll forget your name,’ do you believe that?”

When you start with the “Why don’t we get out of here…” part you actually turn and look at the girl you are talking to.

The whole trick is you can say that part to her (the part about giving her a mind blowing orgasm) but you are pretending you’re “quoting” your friend.

That way you have plausible deniability in case she gets angry.

And if it works, it works.

It’s like getting the potential positives, WITHOUT any of the potential negatives.

The problem is that ONE SENTENCE isn’t going to do much.

This is also the MAIN PROBLEM with any kind of hypnosis or NLP “trick” that people learn about.

They use only one or two of them, imagining that it REALLY IS possible to say about fifteen seconds worth of words and convince a girl you’ve just met to have wild sex with you.

But here’s the thing.

If you stretch that SAME CONCEPT out to a few minutes, (rather than a few seconds) it WILL work.

Meaning that instead of saying one line that some other guy said to some other girl, you tell a bunch of nested stories that other people (characters in the story) told to other people (other characters in the story).

They take a little bit longer to learn than one sentence, but once you do, you’ll have a set of stories you can use AGAIN AND AGAIN on as many girls as you want.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Seduction