Tag Archives: metaphor

Get Out There And Play

Ditch The Map

I remember when I first went away to college.

It was only a couple hours away, and I lived in the dorms.

One of the things I did a lot in my senior year of high school was cycling.

Me and my buddy would go on these long rides a few days a week.

So when I got all unpacked, I was eager to explore my new world.

Way back in those days, we didn’t have GPS or anything.

So I had to look at an actual map, and then try and remember the names of streets.

Needless to say, I ended up getting pretty lost.

And I ended up going through some sketchy parts of town.

You can’t really tell that from a map.

When I finally found my way back (a few hours later), I decided on a different strategy.

I’d ditch the map, and just feel my way around.

I would start in small loops, and just keep slowly expanding the area that I would get familiar with.

About a month later, I had all kinds of cool rides.

That I discovered on my own, without needing any maps.

Loops that went up and down huge hills.

Long flat rides that went to the beach and back.

This is a good metaphor for how we behave, in the moment.

Looking at the map is like trying to consciously think everything out.

While just winging it and going by your gut is like acting without thinking too much.

Without getting in your own way.

One way seems easy at first, but it can end up being very limiting in the long run.

One way seems scary and difficult at first, but in the long run it is much, much better.

It’s very hard for us humans to do things that are unfamiliar.

Part of the reason we perceive a ton of risk when there’s none there.

Especially social risk.

Everybody is looking out into a crowd of strangers and thinking the same thing:

“I’d like to meet some nice people, but only if they go first.”

Luckily, there’s a way to recalibrate this thinking.

So you can feel just as comfortable around strangers as you do around lifelong friends.

Learn How:

Ego Taming

Buy Baby Buy!

Are You A One-Banana Monkey?

One thing we humans are good at is efficiency.

We do it naturally without thinking.

We have to.

We need to put in effort to get calories (energy).

Meaning we need to spend energy to get energy.

Long long ago, way before we were humans, those inefficient animals were slowly weeded out of the gene pool.

Imagine, for example, there existed a species of monkeys that liked climbing trees.

And let’s say each time they climbed a tree it cost them 500 calories of energy.

At the top of these trees were a bunch of bananas.

Each banana gave them 300 calories.

Since these monkeys LOVED climbing trees, they only grabbed one banana each time.

So each trip they LOST 200 calories.

They SPENT 500 calories climbing the tree, but they RECEIVED only 300 calories.

That had a negative monkey ROI (return on investment).

These monkeys, needless to say, wouldn’t last very long.

On the other hand, monkeys with a built in efficiency instinct did.

They would spend the same 500 calories to climb the tree, but they would grab as many bananas as they could.

This is the same instinct that we use when clearing the table after dinner.

We don’t even think about it.

We just stack up as many dishes as we can, so we don’t have to make a hundred trips from the dining room to the kitchen.

(If you want to have some fun, have a dinner party and then clear the table by taking only ONE item to the kitchen on each trip. People will think you’re crazy!)

Many, many of our human functions are based on efficiency.

Especially our thinking patterns.

Our big brains take a TON of energy.

So anywhere we can find shortcuts, we’ll take them.

Sometimes, though, this works against us.

And it does in VERY insidious ways.

We humans think a bit differently about spending energy and getting energy.

We think in terms of money.

The money we make, and the money we spend.

And unfortunately, our thoughts on money are about as helpful as those goofy “one-banana” monkeys.

Why?

Because our money beliefs kill two birds with one stone.

Our leaders (political, religious, etc.) tell us money is “bad.”

But they don’t really believe it, since they have tons of money.

It’s just a clever idea so they can STAY “elite.”

Those that don’t have money tell us it’s “bad” as well.

Because if WE get money, and they don’t, they’ll feel bad.

WE believe money is “bad” because we don’t like thinking about.

So we’ve got TONS of people (including us) that think money is “bad.”

But before we humans invented money, life sucked.

No doctors, no air conditioning, no air travel, and no “anything else.”

But AFTER money was invented, BOOM!

All the cool stuff came.

And it’s still coming.

Money isn’t bad, money is FANTASTIC.

Get Some:

Wealth Tuning

She Is Waiting For You

Fast Food Rush

One of the best feelings is forward momentum.

Another good feeling is being in control.

Not control-freak control, but a feeling of control over your life.

Of being at cause, instead of having to always respond.

When I was in high school I worked a lot of retail.

Mostly food.

It was fun, in that there were plenty of kids my own age.

And when there was a rush (lunchtime or dinner) it was pretty cool.

It was super busy, the time went by pretty quickly.

And it felt good to get through the rush.

One of the reasons it was so cool was it was temporary.

It would maybe last an hour or two.

The orders would come quick and relentlessly.

We’d be running around trying to keep up.

It was the kind of challenge that feels good.

The right combination of external pressure, internal focus, teamwork, and a genuine appreciation from management once we were done.

Underlying all of this was the sense it was out of our control.

Meaning once the crowd came, we were utterly dependent on forces outside of us.

“Reality” would demand a response from us, and we had to keep up.

Doing this once per shift for a couple hours is pretty cool.

But living your life like this is horrible.

Always feeling that you are “on call” to whatever is outside and more powerful than you.

And if you don’t perform “correctly” you’re going to get into trouble.

This is the kind of thing that makes one feel trapped and hopeless.

This is why people always figure out ways to carve out private time to work on private things.

It’s another reason why people practice partial arts.

Even if they NEVER intend to use them outside of the training room, it FEELS like they are building up the skills to fight back.

Even if it’s just a mental knowing of a certain level of skill, it makes one feel MUCH LESS like they are always an effect, rather than a cause.

Just knowing you have a certain level of skills will help you feel much more like a cause in more places.

And that feeling will inform your body language and non-verbal communication.

Which will invite a completely different response from others.

And if you ever DO need to use these defensive skills?

They’ll know what hit them.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

They're Everywhere

What If Angels Were Watching You?

Once upon a time Jesus decided to come back to visit Earth.

So he strolls up to the Vatican and is standing in the courtyard, kind of looking around.

One of the Cardinals sees him, and runs to tell the Pope.

“Father!” he cries, rushing inside in a panic.

“Yes, my son, what is it?” The Pope asks.

“Jesus! He has returned!”

“What do you mean?” The puzzled pope asks.

“He’s outside! In the courtyard! What shall we do?” the cardinal desperately asks. The pope thinks about it, then looks up.

“Tell everybody to look busy!”

Yuckity yuck….

Everybody has the experience of sitting around when you’re supposed to be working.

And the boss shows up, and you suddenly pretend you were just finishing something, or were just about to do something REALLY important.

This is normal behavior, and it happens all the time.

But when it’s unhelpful is when we are tricking OURSELVES that we are busy.

Sometimes we do this to avoid doing unpleasant things.

Maybe you’d planned on doing your taxes, but suddenly your daughter needs help with her homework, and you’re than willing to help all day if that’s what she needs.

Sometimes we do things that we THINK is “progress,” but it’s really just busy work.

Perhaps you’ve been wanting to write a novel.

But instead of sitting down and actually writing, you’re doing “research.”

You may even tell people you’re a writer, but you are still in the “planning stages.”

Of course, planning is absolutely necessary.

But things like that are VERY EASY to stretch out.

Sometimes for YEARS.

Which means it’s very EASY to trick ourselves we are “on purpose,” that we’re living an extraordinary life.

But all too often, the things we do are really the same things we’ve always done.

We just somehow redefine them.

So instead of wasting time online, we’re doing “research.”

Or instead of dreaming about what it would be like to actually finish a degree, we’re “investigating online classes.”

Or instead of window shopping on Amazon, we’re “choosing the right equipment for our exercise plan.”

Redefining events is a very good skill.

Like all of our mental skills, we can use them to get ahead, for example reframing a “failure” as valuable experience that can help you do better next time.

Or we can use them to stay in our comfort zone, when we pretend we’re researching the best running shoes, but we’re really just browsing Amazon while watching TV.

How do you know the difference?

Figure out a way to keep score.

Objective score, that is observable from your behavior, not your thinking.

Imagine angels are watching you, and they can only see your behavior, not your thoughts.

And the more your behavior moves you forward, the more they’ll help you.

This metaphor can help you move forward, instead of just pretending.

Learn More:

Seven Disciplines

Anchor On Your Desires

Why Now Always Beats Later

There are two reasons we human do anything.

Either to move toward pleasure, or to move away from pain.

Anything you want or don’t want can be broken down into those components.

However, it’s usually not so simple.

Take the ubiquitous goal of weight loss.

Most people would LOVE to be skinnier.

Otherwise the “lose weight” section on Amazon wouldn’t have zillions of best sellers.

But this simple and common idea involves a TON of confusing “good things” and “bad things.”

Eating feels good.

But having to strain to button your pants doesn’t feel good.

So we want make it easier to put on our pants.

In order to achieve that “good” we need to reduce another “good,” namely the pleasure we get from eating.

Problem is that eating pleasure happens right NOW.

While the pleasure of loose fitting pants is WAY out into the future.

And we’re supposed to “live in the moment,” right?

So it’s “good thing” to eat ice cream, NOW.

But then later the next morning, when we have to lie on the floor to zip up our pants, we are still “living in the moment.”

Only that particular “living in the moment” of squirming around trying to zip up our pants is a different “living in the moment” than when we ate a quart of ice cream the night before.

How the heck are we supposed to know what to do?

Even when we DO know what to do, how the heck we do it?

I doubt you’d find anybody that thinks eating a quart of ice cream is more than a “guilty pleasure.”

Yet somehow, that ice cream magically gets from the grocery store to our freezer.

And despite our promises to ourselves in the grocery store, it’s hard to ONLY eat a small bowl.

In case you hadn’t noticed, another theme in all of these confusing ideas is the idea of TIME.

When we choose to eat or not eat the ice cream, we are comparing NOW vs. the FUTURE.

When we buy the ice cream in the store, we are comparing NOW vs. THE FUTURE.

For most people, NOW wins over the FUTURE every time.

But you can “go meta.”

Most people try to battle on a surface level.

They focus on the content of the NOW vs. the content of the FUTURE.

Buying the ice cream (and promising to only eat a little bit) or NOT buying the ice cream.

Every time we choose, it’s always a matter of pleasure NOW vs. pleasure in the FUTURE.

The good news is you can ignore the content.

Meaning you can slowly build up your FUTURE thinking muscle, so that starts to win over the NOW.

It’s easier than you think.

Learn How:

Seven Disciplines

Give Your Mind to The Cloud

How To Find Their Treasure Map

Buying a gift for somebody can be fun.

But it can also be difficult.

Especially if it’s a relationship that’s just started.

Sure, you could buy something easy, and expensive.

Or you could get something creative.

Getting a simple, expensive thing (like jewelry) is usually safe bet.

But it doesn’t really show that you spent a lot of thought.

Only money.

On the other hand, if you get something that isn’t ordinary, but something that is special to them, it says something completely different.

That you know them, and more importantly, that you spent a lot of time and effort thinking.

People like to know that we are thinking about them when we they aren’t around.

However, the risk of getting something unique is they’ll look at it and wonder (WTF….?).

And have to pretend they enjoy it.

Older couples tend to know EXACTLY what to get each other.

When I was a kid, at Xmas time, my parents would buy their own gifts, and then wrap them up and pretend they were from each other.

But when you barely know somebody, getting them something that resonates with them is VERY powerful.

The thing is, every time we do ANYTHING with another person in mind, we use the same structure.

Any time we get our ideas out of our heads and hopefully into their heads, we face the same choices.

Simple ideas that we KNOW will work, but will be recognized as simple and common.

Or UNIQUE ideas that show them we KNOW them, and when we think we think with THEM in mind.

If you can remember small details about somebody, especially things that are VERY important to them, you’ll win BIG points.

Doesn’t matter if they are customers, friends or lovers.

Most people try and guess.

But if you LISTEN (and remember) they’ll tell you EVERYTHING.

Just below the surface are ALL of their magic buttons.

Ask the right questions, they’ll give you their own secret treasure map.

Once you’ve got that, EVERYTHING will be easy.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

In You Is Money

What Have You Hidden From Yourself?

One time I was in Vegas with a couple of friends.

I had a sudden flash of insight, and hid $40 in my wallet.

In case I lost everything, I’d still have the $40 to buy gas with for the drive back.

Only I totally forgot about the hidden money.

(I suppose because I never lost everything).

I didn’t find that extra $40 until a few months later.

For a brief few seconds, I thought I’d been visited by the money fairy.

A lot of people do that.

Hide resources.

And then forget about them.

Sometimes for their entire lives.

They are always those stories of old people who lived extremely frugally.

Then when the authorities come to collect the body and clean up their apartment, they find stock certificates worth millions.

We always wonder if they knew they were worth millions and just chose to live an ascetic lifestyle.

Or maybe they just got into good habits, of investing wisely and consistently, and then forgot the REASON for the habit.

There’s a song from the musical “Fiddler on the Roof,” about “tradition.”

The theme is doing things just because you used to do them, without really knowing why.

The word “squirrel away” is obviously from squirrels. They collect and hide food, because they expect to USE IT later on.

But as humans, with our often confused minds, it’s easy to forget WHY we do certain things.

It becomes even MORE “mystical” when we consider that we may have made these decisions LONG before we came into this life.

If it was pretty easy for me to forget my hidden $40, imagine the kind of stuff our HIGHER SELVES might have hidden in our physical bodies!

This may be the REASON we are here.

To FIND that which we hid, long ago.

Or at the very least, to enjoy the search.

Get Started:

Sex Transmutation

Jam Your Brain

Are You Close To A Breakthrough?

Some skills are highly specialized.

Others are very general.

Since our mind-body systems have to follow the laws of economics, we have to maximize our efficiency.

The most “expensive” part of our body is our brain.

By weight, it burns more calories than every other part.

So there a lot of “efficiencies” built in.

Thinking patterns that save on energy.

Sometimes these help, sometimes they don’t.

They help when we learn something enough so that we can do it without thinking.

Unconscious competence.

Other things, like leftover instincts, can get in the way.

Irrational fears, memories that don’t help is any more.

Just like on your computer, it can help to periodically go in and clean up the junk cluttering up your “hard drive.”

One of the weird things about human creativity is that things seem super easy in retrospect, but looking forward they can seem impossible.

Inventions, for example, seem totally blatant AFTER they are invented.

But for some reason, it took a LONG TIME for people to invent them.

For example, something like a stirrup seems totally obvious.

Little straps attached to the saddle of a horse, so you could keep your balance.

But people fought on horseback for over a thousand years before somebody thought to invent the stirrup.

But once they did, it changed everything.

Plenty of inventions are like that.

Dead simple, yet out of reach at the same time.

Those who “stumble” across these inventions can sometimes make billions.

But even if you don’t want to be an inventor, or even a business person, being able to train your brain to see things others can’t will be very helpful.

It can also make your life a lot easier.

There may be HUGE opportunities right in front of your nose that you can’t see.

Find Them:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Money Money Money

How Many Problems Can You Solve?

How do you get money?

There are only a few proven ways.

One is you could find it. Go out looking, and hope you get lucky.

This CAN work, but it’s not very sustainable.

You could get it as a gift. This strategy tends to work for little kids around their birthday.

Adults, not so much.

You could steal it, (or otherwise con people) but that’s not very sustainable either.

You could just walk up to people and ask for it, but people tend to be a little sketchy when strangers walk up to them on the street and ask them for money.

And supposed they asked, “OK, what do I get?”

Turns out, this is actually the most consistent way to get money.

Just figure out what people want, and figure a way to get it to them.

Everybody has problems they need solving.

The more effectively YOU can solve their problems, the more you can get paid.

It’s actually pretty simple.

Aside from government coercion and corruption (of which there is plenty, unfortunately) this same method is how most fortunes were made.

Old school railroad guys solve the problem of travel.

Before they railroads were made, travel was slow.

The problem was, “I want to visit grandma in Kentucky, but it will take us a week to get there.”

Railroad people who solved this problem made a ton of money.

They made it easy to get to Kentucky (or wherever) in a couple of hours instead of a couple of days.

What about JK Rowling, the Harry Potter lady.

What problem did she solve?

“I’m bored, there’s nothing on TV.”

That’s what!

Everybody has a collection of experiences, an imagination, and ideas on how to help others.

And everybody also has a collection of problems that need solving.

Combine those together in an information age, and you’ve got a MASSIVE global economy.

Get in the game, and get paid.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind