Tag Archives: skills

Hallucinating Holes In Boxes

There’s a cool hallucination in physics.

It’s used in both solid state physics and quantum physics.

It’s a purposely created hallucination because it makes the math a lot easier.

For example, when studying solid state physics, they need to understand a crap ton of particles in a very small space.

But since each particle has a few variables (mass, spin, charge, etc.) the math is way too complicated.

One guy came up with the idea of instead of thinking of a box of particles (which there are a lot) to think of a box of holes.

There’s a lot fewer holes. And the holes each have zero everything (mass, spin, charge).

Turns out that describing a box filled with a few holes is a lot easier than describing a box filled with a lot more actual particles.

It works because they all know it’s a hallucination.

A purposely created hallucination just to understand the math easier.

Trouble comes when we come up with metaphors to describe underlying complex phenomenon, but we forget about it.

And we start to treat the metaphors as actual descriptions of reality.

For example, a common metaphor is “The Road is Better Than The Inn.”

But you don’t have to be on an actual road going to an actual inn to understand it to mean the process of getting somewhere (even if that somewhere is at a certain skill level) is often times better than the destination.

Sometimes we do the opposite.

Instead of coming up with metaphors to describe something, we ignore that something altogether.

We’re terrified of finding out what it REALLY is.

Kind of like when you get your bank statement in the mail.

So we ignore it.

Most of us hope that so long as nothing “bad” happens, then ignoring it is a good strategy.

It seems to be working.

But what if that which we ignore is our source of our greatest power?

Power can certainly be intimidating.

There are lot of metaphorical stories about us dumb humans biting off more than we can chew.

But what if those stories themselves are really tricks?

To KEEP us from looking?

After all, if YOU discovered your greatest power, would you tell everybody, or keep it secret?

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Sex Transmutation

How To Play The Long Game

Imagine if it were only possible to imagine two days into the future.

No matter what else was going on, whenever somebody started referencing more than two days out, their voice would sound like garbled nonsense.

If you read anything that referred to anything more than two days out, it would shift into unintelligible scribbles.

If your boss told you to about a meeting next week, it would seem like he was speaking Martian.

On the other hand, if he told you about a meeting tomorrow morning, it would make perfect sense.

Actually, you wouldn’t go to work unless you got paid every other day.

If boss said anything like, “work here for a week or two and then we’ll pay you,” it would sound like, “work here for blah blah blah blah….” and you wouldn’t take the job.

Imagine if all the food you had went bad after two days.

It just disappeared or something.

Obviously, life would be horrible. You’d have to be committed to a nuthouse, since taking care of yourself under those conditions while living in a modern world would be impossible.

This goofy metaphor DOES, however, point out a very necessary ingredient in being able to live a successful life.

The more you can FEEL the results of your actions today FAR out into the future, the more likely you’ll succeed.

Imagine something as simple as weight loss.

If ALL you could tell was how the food tasted RIGHT NOW, it would be tough to eat healthy.

On the other hand, what if every bite of junk food you took came with a VERY REAL image of the results in two, three, five or even ten years.

For example, imagine each time you took a bite of a Big Mac you had a vision of having a heart attack, along with the actual chest pains.

And each time you took a bit of something healthy, you got a vision of yourself with a chiseled body in mirror, along with actually hearing the voice of sexy people whispering, “Nice body, baby!” in your ear.

You might even say that when it comes to building a successful life, the ability to weigh the impact of your actions you consider today ON your distant future is the most important.

They say that this was the shift that made ancient humans shift from hunting to gathering.

After all, hunting is very dangerous. Farming not so much.

But if you’re a hunter, you can kill and eat something TODAY.

If you’re a farmer, it takes a LONG TIME to get going.

Luckily, building in this skill, of developing a LONG VISION, to help you choose the best actions to take, is easy.

And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

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Entrepreneurial Mind

Make Music For Her Feelings

If everybody can do something, that something is not worth a lot.

The economics of supply and demand is pretty simple.

If there is a HUGE supply, then the cost is going to be cheap.

Meaning if your only skill is unpacking boxes and putting stuff on shelves, you won’t be worth much to any employer.

Sad, but harshly true.

The world of dating works the same way.

Think of all the girls you know.

Chances are you can easily arrange them into a hierarchy.

The ones at the top are in the most demand.

It’s the same with us guys. When girls think of us, WE are also arranged in a hierarchy.

The guys at the top are in the most demand.

For girls, being at the top means being genetically blessed with beauty.

What about guys?

Fortunately, for us it’s a lot less about looks.

It’s about how she FEELS when she interacts with us.

For guys, it’s still about FEELINGS, but those feelings are what we feel when we LOOK at her.

But for girls, they need to interact with us for a while.

This means it’s largely based on how we TALK to her.

The things we can do to her with our words.

And not just the words, but how we say them.

Most guys don’t have much of a clue.

They try a few things, and hope for the best.

That would be like picking up a violin and randomly playing strings, and hoping music comes out.

Usually it doesn’t work.

But if you have some music, and some instructions on how to play, you can make some pretty sweet sounds.

And since most guys are too lazy to learn, you’ll be the only one making beautiful music while every other goof sounds like a dying cat.

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How To Elicit Their Inner Power

I was at this goofy seminar once a long time ago.

One of the instructors was doing a demonstration to teach a deeper point.

He had one of those Russian Dolls, the kind where each larger one has a smaller one inside.

And he kept going smaller and smaller, until he got to this very tiny one inside.

And inside was an ultra rare, ultra expensive, blue diamond.

The message being that all of us have some super secret, super powerful center.

And once we find that, we can do anything.

Unfortunately, the demonstration was followed up with typical “law of attraction” mumbo jumbo, where the seminar attendees were slathered with vague language about how awesome and unique we are.

Why do I say “unfortunately?”

Because any time you reach inside YOUR mind and use YOUR words to describe somebody else, especially a secret powerful part of somebody else, it’s very difficult to match.

Match what?

YOUR words with how THEY feel about their inner greatness.

Now, most people only have a vague idea of their inner greatness.

They have a vague feeling or desire to “do something” significant.

So at best, you’re going to match that vague feeling with your vague words.

Which really won’t do much.

It’s kind of like eating a bowl of sugar, or drinking a bottle of maple syrup.

Super sweet, gives you a quick buzz, but then you crash hard.

This is also why people tend to jump from motivational seminar to motivational seminar.

They get a fix, a vague bunch of words praising their vague sense of inner awesomeness, and then it wears off.

And on to the next seminar.

Usually all they have to show for it is a ton of credit card debt.

The good news is there IS a way to elicit (not tell) the inner awesomeness from others.

And not just in a vague way, in a VERY SPECIFIC way.

And not in YOUR words, but THEIR words.

When you get somebody to specifically describe part of their inner uniqueness, using their words, their pictures, and their ideas, they’ll feel something they’ve NEVER felt before.

A REAL sense of purpose. A REAL sense of that inner desire being turned into a specific THING.

That they are talking about, with YOU.

All you’ve got to do is sit back and carefully pull it out of them.

And watch the magic happen.

Click Here To Learn How

Get Girls Competing For You

Why do girls flake?

The biggest reason is that they have low interest.

As much as guys like to think otherwise, the way a girl behaves around you is HIGHLY DEPENDENT on her interest level in you.

Compare how she behaves around a good looking, tall, athletic rich guy, compared to some homeless guy.

(Don’t worry, you don’t need to be tall, good looking, athletic or rich).

They say you can judge people by how they treat the “help.”

Meaning how well they treat people they DON’T need to be nice to.

But even then that’s not a great gauge.

There’s polite behavior, and there’s behavior that’s driven by attraction and desire.

And if a girl has attraction and desire for you, she’ll behave VERY WELL.

Meaning she won’t flake, she won’t be late, she won’t stare at her phone when she’s with you.

She (the very same girl) will do ALL these things with a guy she has little or no interest in.

The way most guys go about doing this is backwards.

They walk up to dozens of girls, get a bunch of numbers, and hope that eventually one of them will have “high interest.”

This strategy DOES work. Because there ARE plenty of girls out there that WILL have high interest in you naturally.

But finding them can be a real chore. Even if one out of ten girls will really like you the way you are, going through nine rejections is pretty tough.

A much better strategy is to slowly change how you naturally are. Change your outlook, change the way you view the world and your place in it.

If you do that, then you’ll slowly increase the percentage of girls who like the NATURAL YOU.

And once you cross a specific tipping point, THEY will compete for YOU.

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Get Her Begging For You

One of the best ways to increase attraction is to leave.

Most guys use the “make the ho say no” strategy.

While this is good for the ego, it’s not so good for your confidence.

The way the brain works is whenever we look into new situation, our minds try to find as many similar situations in the past as possible.

That way it can save energy figuring stuff out, and refer to as much previous experiences as possible.

And if you’re using the “make the ho say no” strategy, you’ll end up getting rejected a lot.

Since that’s what happens when the ho actually says, “no.”

The opposite strategy, which is also EXTREMELY counterintuitive, is to LEAVE just as her attraction is starting to build.

This is VERY HARD.

In many ways it’s harder than cold approaching.

But it will build up MASSIVE confidence if you keep at it for a while.

Why?

Because every time you see a new social situation filled with potential females, you’re brain will quickly scan the last couple dozen encounters.

And EACH ONE will NOT be a rejection, but a girl looking at you with eyes that say, “Hey! Come back! Don’t leave yet!”

This will give you an incredible amount of confidence.

And if you keep this up long enough, each time you LEAVE the girl will try harder and harder to get you to stay.

Because the more confident you are, the more attraction you’ll build.

Try it out, and see what happens.

Learn More:

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Rewire Your Lower Brain

I’ve got a lot of software on my computer.

Software is one of the things I like to buy, even when I don’t really need it.

(Another one of my weaknesses is kitchen utensils).

One common thing about software these days is it’s self-updating.

Or at the very least, when there’s a new version out, you get a button at the beginning that you need to click.

Easy peasy.

Usually it removes the old software, and installs the new one.

Our brains are kind of similar.

Similar in that it’s the software that drives our bodies.

And it’s been continuously updated the past few million years.

Only it doesn’t quite update the same way.

Because of the logistics and mechanics humans, we can’t really “uninstall” the old version and install the new version.

We just get new software built on top of our old software.

You can see this if you take apart your head and look at your brain.

(Just kidding! Don’t do that, you might not be able to put it back together…)

But we do have remnants of our old brain.

The reptilian brain at the base, the mammalian brain on top of that and then the neo-cortex, on top of that.

Problem is each one thinks it’s in charge.

So we have all these conflicting ideas about what to do sometimes.

For example, until very recently, we RARELY saw somebody we didn’t know.

That possibility has only been around for a few thousand years.

So our brains are pretty conflicted on what to do when we’re in a situation where there are a lot of people that we don’t know.

Part of us wants to check it out and see what’s what. Especially if there are attractive people around.

But another part knows that other people can be dangerous.

Luckily, one of the unadvertised benefits (and it’s not even in the owner’s manual) of our new-cortex is we can reprogram our lower brain.

It’s pretty easy, when done consistently, and can lead to some pretty awesome results.

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How To Make Other People Relaxed

There’s an ancient saying about how we humans represent ourselves.

The way we present ourselves to others, the way we present ourselves to ourselves, and then how we really are.

Most people rarely get past the first once. You might know somebody for a long time and find out later they were living some sort of secret life.

One of the hardest things in any sales or persuasion is making the person feel comfortable.

Unfortunately, when we read sales books we kind of skip past the part about rapport because we “already know that stuff.”

But since it’s the most important part, if we don’t get that stuff right, we won’t get very far.

Because without a degree of rapport, we’ll only be seeing the “pretend” part of the person we’re talking to.

So when we start to elicit criteria, or find out what’s important, they’ll only be telling us things we WANT to hear, not the real stuff.

One of the biggest obstacles to creating that deep feeling of rapport, so you can see the more of their real self, is anxiety.

Even if you go through all the steps, and spend a long time on rapport, they will automatically be as anxious as you.

Humans are like that.

We tend to resonate each other’s feelings and emotional state.

If you’re nervous, they’ll be nervous.

But the flip side is just as true.

If you are calm and relaxed, they’ll also be calm and relaxed. And they’ll do so unconsciously.

Meaning they’ll just feel calm and relaxed, and not really understand why.

They’ll interpret this as YOU somehow being “different” from everybody else.

So if you’re selling something, or creating a relationship, or just trying to make friends, it will be a lot easier.

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How To See Everybody as Friendly

Some things you learn, and then you don’t need to learn anymore.

Like riding a bike. Once you figure it out, it’s pretty easy.

Then there are some things you learn, and you don’t really need to keep practicing. You’ll still be able to do it, but if you don’t practice for a while you’ll get rusty.

Playing sports or any kind of musical instrument is like this.

Because there are a lot more steps, and you have to go through the four stages of learning, it’s easy to slip back from the top stage (unconscious competence) to the second top stage (conscious competence).

Then there are skills that if you spend any amount of time NOT practicing, they reset to zero.

Anything involving communication with other people is like this. ESPECIALLY when there are emotions involved.

Ask any guy who’s back on the dating scene after being married for a decade or so.

They might have been a mad player when they got married, but if they’re recently divorced, it feels like they’re starting over again.

Why is this?

Why do some skills degrade FAR FASTER than other skills?

Things like sports, playing instruments is very much an EXTERIOR activity.

Unless you’re the lead guitarist for a world famous rock band, it’s EASY to keep your real self hidden while your “exterior” plays the instrument or does the sport.

But whenever we get close to exposing our REAL inner selves, all kinds of emotions come into play.

Which is why you can learn to express yourself openly to one person, but as soon as you try with somebody else, it’s like you’re starting all over again.

All of us were once supremely confident and outgoing. We didn’t care who we were talking to. If we liked them, we laughed and giggled. If they scared us, we screamed and cried.

But then we learned (or were taught through a lot of trial and error) that expressing ourselves is DANGEROUS.

So our brains rely on the “one person at a time” way of learning to express ourselves.

Imagine if you had to RE-LEARN how to play the piano if you switched pianos!

Fortunately, once you UNLEARN that “people are scary.”

Or RE-FINE that learning (from people are scary to grownups are scary IF you’re a baby).

And that will allow you to talk to ANYBODY as if they are an old friend.

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Are You Reciting Magic Words?

When I was a kid my mom would always get on my case.

I’d go to my friends, we’d get into all kinds of trouble, have a lot of fun, etc.

Then my mom would ask me what we’d done, conversationally, and I’d say, “nothing.”

Or when we had something really BIG planned, she’d ask me what I was doing that weekend.

And I’d say, “Nothing. Just going to my friends house.”

One of the things our conscious brains to, to save processing power, is to distort, generalize, and delete.

Imagine if you had a really delicious chicken dinner, with eighteen courses, and waitresses that juggled fire while you ate, all on top of this spinning disk on top of a two thousand story tower.

Now, you could take an hour or two to fully explain your experience to a colleague at work a couple weeks later.

OR you could say, “I went to this chicken restaurant that had a pretty good show.”

Most of the time this works pretty well. It’s a lot of effort to describe everything, and the poor guy who asked you about your weekend doesn’t really want to hang around for three hours while you describe it in excruciating detail.

However, this tendency to WAY oversimplify things CAN get in the way.

Like take somebody who spend ten years building a million dollar business.

They started out trying various things. They tried and failed TONS before they made a nickel. Their friends (who later turned out not to be friends) thought they were crazy.

The friends that DID stick by them turned out to be ULTRA LOYAL.

They lost TONS of sleep worrying about whether or not they’d succeed, felt more anxiety than they thought they could bear.

And then FINALLY they started to become successful. A little bit. Then they got a little bit more.

THEN they got to that magic tipping point where success bred more success.

And let’s say you asked them the secret of their success.

Would they REALLY spend hours and hours explaining everything?

Or would they sum it up in a short, easy to understand sentence? Like these:

Follow Your Bliss

Never Give Up

Have Faith In Yourself

Believe In Yourself

Believe it and You’ll Achieve It

What would you do?

Repeat these as if they were magic words, and then get angry when the success fairy didn’t show up?

Would you “follow your bliss” by watching TV or eating ice cream, since that what you REALLY like doing, and wonder why you’re not rich?

Silly as it sounds, this is what MOST PEOPLE do.

What about you?

Do you believe in “magic” or you relentless drive to succeed no matter what?

It takes time, it takes effort.

But you wouldn’t be reading this now if you didn’t have it in you.

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