Category Archives: Charisma

Yeah Baby, Yeah!

The Harpo Marx Pattern

Most people have heard of the “handshake interrupt.”

It’s one of the more famous “NLP party tricks.”

The idea is that we think of a handshake as one “thing.”

So when you “interrupt” that singular “thing,” our brains get confused.

Some people get a little confused, some a lot.

But there’s another version of the handshake interrupt that goes back WAAY before NLP.

The Harpo Marx handshake interrupt.

He was the one that played the harp, dressed like a hobo-clown, and didn’t talk.

He’d reach out to shake your hand, you’d stick your hand out.

Then he’d lift up his leg and place it in your hand.

Most people would instinctively take it, (like most people do) and Harpo would stand there with a goofy grin on his face.

Since humans are social creatures, we have a LOT of pre-programmed, automatic behaviors.

And handing something to somebody is one of those.

Any time we shift into “automatic behavior” mode, it’s a GREAT time to quickly sneak into their brain and cause some mischief.

Luckily, our language is FILLED with these automatic behavior structures.

In fact, Noam Chomsky, the original ho-daddy of linguistics, showed that we have neurological language switches in our brain.

And when you understand how these switches work, you can have a lot of fun.

When I was a kid, my mom HATED taking me to the department stores.

This was back when they first started making computers. Before windows, so it was just DOS.

I knew just enough programming (BASIC) to make infinite loops of curse words on the screen.

“Hey, mom! Look!”

Once you understand the deep structure of language, you can do this with people’s brains.

You can have fun, like Harpo, or you can give them silly ideas that get them giggling.

Whatever you do, you’ll be the life of every party.

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Street Hypnosis

Coke and Popcorn Flash

The Popcorn and Coke Pattern

There are a lot of goofy math problems that find their way online.

They are allegedly “simple” problems that were given to kids, but adults can’t figure them out.

One made the round a couple weeks ago.

It was a simple arithmetic problem.

The difficulty was in what they call “order of operations.”

You’re supposed to do multiplication before addition.

If you don’t do things in the right order, you get the wrong answer.

They also have something called the “distributive property.”

For example, if you were a math student, and you saw this: 8(3x+4) then you take the “8” and multiply it by both the “3x” and the “4.”

The “8” gets “distributed” evenly across the “3x+4” expression.

But when the same thing happen in language, it can get confusing.

And if you’re a hypnotist, confusion is pretty fun to play with.

(Unless you forget to take it out of your pocket and wash your pants. Then it gets all over everything…)

Because when the mind is confused, it will grab hold of anything that sounds normal, even if it’s a command to cluck like a chicken.

Sometimes, the distributive property is easy.

I’m going to eat some candy and popcorn.

The “eat” HAS to be applied to both the “candy” and the “popcorn.”

Because otherwise, the popcorn is all by itself without a verb.

And when you leave nouns all alone without verbs, they tend to get lonely and run away.

And since popcorn is better popping than running away (because you were mean and left it all alone without a verb) our kind human minds tend not to treat it that way.

(I know, that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever).

But what if you walk up to candy counter (the one where you were going to get your popcorn and candy from) and said:

“I’d like a large popcorn and coke.”

They person taking your order might understand, but they might not.

They would probably repeat it, to be sure:

“Large popcorn and a large coke?”

Because they assumed the “large” went with both the popcorn and coke.

(Distributive property of adjectives).

But what if you responded:

“Wait, you have cokes in different sizes?”

This would you mean you thought that popcorn came in different sizes, but coke only came in one.

Their brains would need to freeze just for a minute.

They naturally assumed you wanted a “large popcorn” AND a “large coke.”

They just repeated it to make sure.

Now they have to go back a few moves in their mind, so they can try and pace YOUR WORLD where there is ONLY one size coke.

Kind of like if you’re playing chess, (without writing down all your moves) and you realize you’d made a mistake and have to recreate the board from a few moves ago.

Even people that play chess don’t flip flop around in conversations to go back before assumptions were made.

This is just one simple example you can try today.

Go to any fast food place.

“I’ll take a large X and Y.”

Then they verify that you want large X AND large Y.

And you stare at them and ask sincerely, “Whoa! I can get Y in different sizes?”

And watch their face as their brain freezes momentarily.

Of course, the more you practice this, the LONGER you’ll be able to keep them on the edge of “reality.”

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Angry Bear

Word Juggling Tricks

One curious thing about how our brains work is the order in which things are processed.

They’ve done a few experiments that suggest our conscious minds are more of a follower than a leader.

There’s the common conception that our conscious minds are the captains, and our subconscious is the ship.

But that may be backwards.

At least sometimes.

For example, they do certain tests, and while they do the tests, they look at where our brains are “lighting up.”

They do something that will cause a “stimulus-response” effect.

But many times we respond BEFORE the conscious part of our brain lights up.

Some even believe that our conscious minds are “devices” that exist to make up logical sounding reasons about our behavior.

On the other hand, we do things like play chess and set and achieve goals.

These require a lot of conscious forethought.

Maybe we can only plan to plan.

Meaning we have to “get ready” to think consciously.

Like if somebody walked up to you on the street with a game of checkers halfway through, and asked you to move, you might wonder if you stepped into the Twilight Zone.

But when your friend surprises you with the statement, “Hey, how about a game of checkers?”

You switch in to “pre-thinking” mode and start playing.

But the funny thing is you can use words like camouflage.

Like some insects have figured out how to look like tree bark so they don’t get eaten.

You can use words that “sound like” they are sending your listener into “pre-thinking” mode.

But they really send them into “dude, what?” mode.

They hear the beginnings of what “sounds” like a request for a conscious thought.

But then end on something differently.

You can do this for laughs, or you can grab hold of their brains and slip in any idea they want.

And then get them to forget they just talked to you.

The thing about language is most people don’t EVER think about HOW they use it.

But it’s pretty simple.

And pretty fun.

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Brain Bombs Blasting Beautifully

Embrace The Rabbit Hole

The idea of a rabbit hole comes from Alice in Wonderland.

She went down, following an actual rabbit, and had a pretty messed up adventure.

So when somebody describes something as a “rabbit hole” or “going down the rabbit hole” they mean getting involved with something that keeps getting more and more confusing.

It’s generally associated with conspiracy theories, or some kind of “hidden truth” that is continually revealed.

Recently, (last decade or so) the “Red Pill” has been used to describe understanding the “complexity” of this “Rabbit Hole.”

(Interesting that both metaphors originated from the same source)

But the thing about “rabbit holes” and “red pills” is that don’t HAVE to be associated with any kind of “evil conspiracy.”

It certainly FEELS GOOD to think you “understand” the way things really are.

But consider this.

Reality itself is something we can NEVER understand.

Not even partially.

The more PURE science you study, the more you’ll realize that we humans don’t know much.

The limit of human understand has been described as the shoreline of an island.

The bigger our understanding gets, the more we realize that there is a MASSIVE ocean out there MUCH BIGGER than our “shoreline” can EVER get.

Which makes the idea of a “red pill” rather silly.

Since it’s IMPOSSIBLE to understand the way things REALLY are.

Ever.

The truth is that NOBODY understands the way things really are.

If we did, we’d never have to GUESS whether or not to carry an umbrella with us when we lave.

If we did, investing would be SIMPLE.

And sports would be BORING since we could predict the outcome.

In fact, sports wouldn’t even EXIST.

What would be the point?

Luckily, there will ALWAYS be a degree of uncertainty.

And luckily, the RABBIT HOLE will ALWAYS be there for us.

No matter how far we are willing to go, the rabbit hole will accommodate us.

It’s up to YOU which direction you want YOUR rabbit hole to go.

Down into confusion, goofy mirrors and red queens running on treadmills?

Or up into continued exploration and understanding, where your knowledge, skills and appreciation of LIFE can continue to EXPAND?

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Get Her Dreaming Of You

Make Music For Her Feelings

If everybody can do something, that something is not worth a lot.

The economics of supply and demand is pretty simple.

If there is a HUGE supply, then the cost is going to be cheap.

Meaning if your only skill is unpacking boxes and putting stuff on shelves, you won’t be worth much to any employer.

Sad, but harshly true.

The world of dating works the same way.

Think of all the girls you know.

Chances are you can easily arrange them into a hierarchy.

The ones at the top are in the most demand.

It’s the same with us guys. When girls think of us, WE are also arranged in a hierarchy.

The guys at the top are in the most demand.

For girls, being at the top means being genetically blessed with beauty.

What about guys?

Fortunately, for us it’s a lot less about looks.

It’s about how she FEELS when she interacts with us.

For guys, it’s still about FEELINGS, but those feelings are what we feel when we LOOK at her.

But for girls, they need to interact with us for a while.

This means it’s largely based on how we TALK to her.

The things we can do to her with our words.

And not just the words, but how we say them.

Most guys don’t have much of a clue.

They try a few things, and hope for the best.

That would be like picking up a violin and randomly playing strings, and hoping music comes out.

Usually it doesn’t work.

But if you have some music, and some instructions on how to play, you can make some pretty sweet sounds.

And since most guys are too lazy to learn, you’ll be the only one making beautiful music while every other goof sounds like a dying cat.

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Castles In Their Mind

Thought Extraction Technique

Once I was at a movie theater, I went there on the spur of the moment.

I had no idea what any of the movies were about, so I asked the guy selling tickets.

He gave me a quick rundown, and made a suggestion.

I took it and was satisfied.

Asked-for advice, when given genuinely, is usually very helpful.

On the other hand, few of us like unasked for advice.

The reason has to do with the presuppositions that go along with the advice.

The main presupposition is that the person giving the advice knows more about the situation than the person receiving the advice.

Imagine you were standing in front of a movie theater, trying to decide which movie to see.

Only you had plenty of information on all the different movies.

You were just debating which of them you wanted to see the most.

Then some voice comes out of nowhere and says, “Don’t see X, it sucks.”

Now, depending on WHO said that, and what they looked like, how the behaved, etc, you might take their advice, you might not.

But YOU would still want to choose whether to take their advice or not.

Which means now you’re choice is MORE complicated, especially if the person giving the advice is not your “type.”

Whenever two people talk, it’s like there’s a battle of ideas. A contest of thoughts.

The ideas in your head, and the ideas in their head.

Asking for their ideas and comparing them to your ideas is one thing.

But having them try and FORCE their ideas into your brain (which is essentially what we do when we give unasked for advice) is not so friendly.

Doing the opposite, however, is a LOT of fun.

Instead of putting YOUR ideas into their mind, take THEIR ideas and expand them.

Most people have vague desires, wants, wishes, etc.

But instead of trying to match your specific advice to their vague desires, do the opposite.

Take their vague desires, pull them out of their head, and make them bigger, brighter, more specific.

IF you use ONLY their words and ideas (to make their ideas bigger and more specific) it will have a pretty cool effect.

They’ll feel REALLY GOOD, and they’ll associate those really good feelings with you.

You can use this with pretty much ANYBODY.

Friends, bosses, children, clients. Even people you’ve just met.

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Get Them Swooning Over You

Attach Their Desires To You

Economics is called the “dismal science.”

And it’s called that for a lot of reasons.

One is that it forces one to ask the question, “at what cost?”

Politicians HATE this question. Their whole angle is to promise us the moon and never have to worry about paying for it.

Another reason economics is called the “dismal science” is it forces us to understand something about human nature, and human action.

And that is that ALL HUMANS have unlimited wants, needs and desires.

But we’re all stuck on this planet with limited resources.

So figuring out how to best distribute those limited resources to us greedy humans is the billion dollar question of all time.

And as I’m sure you know, if you can get MOST of what you want, you’re doing pretty good.

But this presents a fairly unique opportunity.

Especially for somebody interested in learning language patterns and communication strategies to bring out the BEST in people.

How’s that?

Because using the truth about people from the “dismal science,” you KNOW that inside EVERYBODY you’ve met, and EVERYBODY you will meet, are those UNLIMITED wants, needs and desires.

All you’ve got to do is get them talking about them.

Since they are ENDLESS, you can get them pretty excited.

Ideal futures, dream jobs, dream careers, dream boyfriends or girlfriends, dream houses.

Just get them to open up about their ideal future, tap that vast UNLIMTED resource of wants, needs and desires, and they’ll feel better than they have in a LONG TIME.

Most people pass judgement, give advice, tell people why they’d better be careful, etc.

But when YOU come along and ONLY ASK about those unlimited wants, needs and desires, they’ll feel fantastic.

And they’ll associate that fantastic feeling with YOU.

They won’t think, “Hmm, this guy’s going to help me get that dream house.”

It’s more like advertising. When they put a bikini girl next to a car.

Nobody thinks, “hmm, if I buy the car, I’ll get the girl!”

They just have an UNCONSCIOUS association between the girl and the car.

Equally strong will be the unconscious association between their BIGGEST DESIRES and YOU.

(Or whatever you happen to be selling or recommending or suggesting).

All you’ve got to do is turn off your inner “advice giver,” ask the right questions and watch them light up like crazy.

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The Rabbit Hole Of Persuasion

How To Elicit Their Inner Power

I was at this goofy seminar once a long time ago.

One of the instructors was doing a demonstration to teach a deeper point.

He had one of those Russian Dolls, the kind where each larger one has a smaller one inside.

And he kept going smaller and smaller, until he got to this very tiny one inside.

And inside was an ultra rare, ultra expensive, blue diamond.

The message being that all of us have some super secret, super powerful center.

And once we find that, we can do anything.

Unfortunately, the demonstration was followed up with typical “law of attraction” mumbo jumbo, where the seminar attendees were slathered with vague language about how awesome and unique we are.

Why do I say “unfortunately?”

Because any time you reach inside YOUR mind and use YOUR words to describe somebody else, especially a secret powerful part of somebody else, it’s very difficult to match.

Match what?

YOUR words with how THEY feel about their inner greatness.

Now, most people only have a vague idea of their inner greatness.

They have a vague feeling or desire to “do something” significant.

So at best, you’re going to match that vague feeling with your vague words.

Which really won’t do much.

It’s kind of like eating a bowl of sugar, or drinking a bottle of maple syrup.

Super sweet, gives you a quick buzz, but then you crash hard.

This is also why people tend to jump from motivational seminar to motivational seminar.

They get a fix, a vague bunch of words praising their vague sense of inner awesomeness, and then it wears off.

And on to the next seminar.

Usually all they have to show for it is a ton of credit card debt.

The good news is there IS a way to elicit (not tell) the inner awesomeness from others.

And not just in a vague way, in a VERY SPECIFIC way.

And not in YOUR words, but THEIR words.

When you get somebody to specifically describe part of their inner uniqueness, using their words, their pictures, and their ideas, they’ll feel something they’ve NEVER felt before.

A REAL sense of purpose. A REAL sense of that inner desire being turned into a specific THING.

That they are talking about, with YOU.

All you’ve got to do is sit back and carefully pull it out of them.

And watch the magic happen.

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Island Lovers

Seductive Mind Myths

I read an interesting book awhile back about memes.

Ideas that spread from person to person.

They are kind of like “genes” in that they replicate, and as they do so, they tend to morph and evolve, just like genes.

What was interesting was some of the reasons that memes spread.

Truth is NOT one of the main reasons.

We believe memes because they are easy to understand, they make us feel “in the know” and a few other reasons.

A famous example is a young female anthropologist from England a couple hundred years ago.

She wanted to make a name for herself, so she visited some islands in the South Seas by herself.

The natives figured she was pretty naive, so they “took the piss” as they say.

They told her a bunch of made up stuff, just to have fun.

She came back and had these tales of these mythical people in the South Seas where everybody had sex with everybody.

(Kind of like in high school, when dudes brag about how much action they get, compared to now much they REALLY get).

For a while, talk of this mysterious “open sex” society in the South Seas was all the rage in upper society.

Especially when talking about nubile young “island girls.”

(Thurston old chap, have you heard? That island in the South Seas where EVERYBODY has sex with EVERYBODY?)

A few older, more experienced anthropologists (who had studied plenty of societies and suspected something was wrong) decided to go and have a look for themselves.

And sure enough, when they just observed their behavior (instead of asking the guys, “how often do you get laid?”) they found it was all nonsense.

Funny thing was, that after they came back and published their official report, the myth continued.

For over a hundred years. Even today, people still think there are mythical “island sex parties” somewhere.

Not because they are true, but because we WANT to believe it.

Plenty of these myths still exist.

Not because they are true, but because we LIKE to believe them.

One myth that exists in the world of sales, persuasion and seduction is you have to have a super charismatic personality.

That you have an ultra strong frame.

That you have to know all kinds of advanced language patterns.

When in reality, the opposite is true.

The more you can FORGET about yourself, the more you can OPEN the other person.

And get them to do anything.

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Secret Persuasion

Deep Persuasion

Recently they discovered that orangutans make certain noises when there are predators around.

They ONLY make those sounds (a series of clicks) when those predators around.

It’s an insight into the development of human language.

Nobody is really sure when language was invented.

They only know when written language was invented, which came perhaps tens of thousands of years after spoken language.

Whenever evolutionary scientists look at all of our human characteristics, some things make sense, while others don’t.

Clearly being able to talk has tons of benefits over not being able to talk.

Many people believer that the purpose of human language is to exchange information.

But there’s a deeper issue. Even when those orangutans make those clicks, the are hoping (instinctively) that whoever hears those clicks will DO something.

Something specific, like not get eaten.

Sometimes it seems that when humans talk, there isn’t really a reason.

It can be an interesting mental experiment to do next time you’re hanging with your friends.

Sit back and listen, and try and guess the “intention” beneath the words.

What behavior are they trying to elicit? Often it’s a simple as trying to elicit a smile or any kind of agreement.

But the intention is always there.

Many times people will say something, NOT get the intended result, and then kind of retreat.

They’ll say, “Just saying…”

Most of the time, even when we HAVE a clear intention (get somebody to laugh, give out their phone number or agree to an idea) we don’t have much of a plan.

We just kind of spit out a bunch of words and hope for the best.

Even the most skilled speakers and persuaders don’t really have a concrete plan on how to specifically get their intended outcome.

Most of the time, they’re just naturally “good at it” which means they really don’t know HOW they do what they do.

But there IS a set of strategies that work, and work very well.

They are contrary to how most “persuaders” operate. Kind of the opposite.

And for some, getting into the right frame of mind is difficult.

But when you do, it’s VERY EASY.

So easy, that if those highly skilled “persuaders” would see you do it, they would wonder why in the heck it’s working so well.

Learn How:

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