Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

Approach Anxiety Brain

How To Turn Off Approach Anxiety

One of the cleverest ways we deceive ourselves is when we tell ourselves WHY we aren’t going to take action.

And guys who give themselves reasons for NOT approaching are super genius.

Our brains are very squirrely.

We’ll do anything to protect our egos.

One way we do this is when we lie to ourselves about WHY we aren’t going to approach.

She’s not my type.

She’s too flirty with too many guys.

She’s a little too fat/skinny/tall/short/whatever.

But in reality, the REAL REASON is always fear of social exposure, and social rejection.

The twin horrors the make up approach anxiety.

Walking over is like making a massive declaration.

I DECREE MY INTEREST FOR THIS FEMALE!

And then you walk over, and EVERYBODY is watching you.

There’s a scene from an old Steve Martin movie, “The Lonely Guy.”

He walks into a restaurant ALONE, and as soon as he tells the hostess this, everybody stops and stares.

The entire restaurant watches as he walks in, ALONE, and sits.

That’s what walking across any space toward a female FEELS LIKE.

Like the whole world is watching your performance.

Now, anybody can give “advice” about what to do.

Like “Just don’t care about the outcome.”

Or “rejection is better than regret.”

Unfortunately, the part of our brain that comes up with feelings like fear and anxiety can’t be reasoned with.

That would be like telling a person on a diet to just “not be hungry.”

If it were easy to “not be hungry” then 2/3’s of developed countries wouldn’t be overweight.

So you can’t really just “not be afraid.”

At least through sheer willpower and conscious thought.

But you CAN through careful reprogramming.

You CAN reprogram yourself, if you do so a little bit at a time.

And before long, it really is EASY to “not care.”

And that means that approaching cute girls ANYWHERE can be FUN, like it’s supposed to be.

So fun that you’ll ONLY WANT numbers from girls who are interesting enough, smart enough or WHATEVER enough for you tastes.

Learn How:

Zero Fear Game

Unlock Your Power

Essential Variable Of Successful Seduction

What’s the secret line to say to any girl and make her fall in love with you?

That is the most common desire that most guys have.

Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question.

It would be like walking into a bakery, and asking about your upcoming birthday party.

“What is the BEST icing to put on the cake to make sure everybody likes the cake?”

If you asked that question, the baker would laugh and ask you what you meant.

Similarly, what you SAY to a girl is not nearly as important as what YOU are under the words.

Think about what words are. A way to describe the thoughts in our mind.

People “judge us” (whether we like it or not) based on WHO we are.

Our thoughts and the words we describe them with give them an IDEA of who we are.

Think of it this way.

Imagine there WAS some kind of “pick up line” that had been created by seduction scientists in their seduction lab.

And imagine a few hundred different guys went out to say this “magic” pick up line.

Some of the guys were nervous and sweaty.

Other guys were confident and laid back.

Some guys had horrible breath.

Other guys couldn’t make eye contact to save their lives.

If you looked at all the results, and you did a scientific analysis, you would come to the conclusion that the words are the LEAST important.

Since that was the ONE THING that all the guys shared, but they got different results.

So the actual WORDS you say to her aren’t the most important thing.

Or they don’t NEED to be.

Or they are important but only AFTER you get the “basics down.”

What are the basics?

A certain attitude, that you CANNOT fake.

One that radiates a POWERFUL MESSAGE to every girl you interact with, verbally or not.

One that says, “there are plenty of girls, and I’m talking to you to see if you are interesting enough for me.”

With this UNDERLYING attitude, that you radiate with your energy (body language, eye contact, movements, gestures, etc), what you say isn’t nearly as important.

Of course, if you decide AFTER you talk to her long enough, that she IS qualified, you CAN use language technology.

But it won’t be to IMPRESS her.

It will be to ENJOY her.

How do you get this underlying attitude?

Like This:
Zero Fear Game

Easy Peasy

Become The Naturally Attractive Man

What turns a woman on more than anything?

It’s not something she knows, or can anticipate.

Think of a woman’s desire as you would your own hunger.

Sure, you can sit there and list all the foods you want.

But since hunger is an instinct that responds to our environment, and not our conscious brains, it gets turned on whether we like it or not.

Food could be the last thing on our mind, but if we smell or see something good, our hunger takes over.

Whatever we were thinking of is GONE, and all we want to do is eat.

This is the way a female responds to a naturally attractive man.

Sure, she and her friends can sit around and play pretend.

They can list out the qualities they THINK they want.

But when a naturally attractive man shows up, she’ll want him just as much as YOU want that food that suddenly came out of nowhere.

The million dollar question:

How do you become the naturally attractive man?

Is it money? Clothing? The right cologne? The right combination of pick up lines?

Luckily, it is none of these.

Now, this is going to sound like the oldest advice in the book, but stick with me.

That naturally attractive male quality that makes women UNABLE to get their minds off him is CONFIDENCE.

Now, what is confidence?

It’s not what most people think.

Confidence is the absolutely ABSENCE of any anxiety or worry.

Imagine a guy sees a girl.

She’s physically attractive, but to a naturally attractive, and FEARLESS man, that’s not enough.

Since pretty girls are a dime a dozen.

So he talks to her.

And his attitude is “I like you so far, but my attraction to you is always conditional on your behavior, intelligence, and anything else I come up with.”

This cannot be faked.

But if you HAVE this attitude, NOTHIGN else will matter.

Wanna know why women are so angry today?

They are hard wired to FOLLOW a man, but not just any man.

They want a guy who is naturally confident in his own skin.

Not a guy that is worried about what to do, or say, or trying hard to please her.

They guy that can at the same time, express an interest in her AND radiate the “take it or leave it” attitude.

How do you BECOME that guy?

Here’s How:

Zero Fear Game

Secret Ninja Skills

How To Radiate Black Belt Linguistic Energy

Most people hit the snooze button at least once.

Sometimes a few times.

If you absolutely NEED to get out of bed at seven, for example, most people would set their alarms at six thirty.

It’s not a very pleasant thing to pop right awake and have to jump right out of bed.

Sleeping is nice. Dreaming is nice. Your bed is a safe place to be.

Getting and up and walking to the shower while imagining dealing with all the goofs at work, on the other hand, generally sucks.

So we like to ease into it.

Looking at the clock and seeing we’ve got twenty minutes before we need to get out of bed is a good feeling.

We love that extra feeling of “time insulation.”

We tend to do that whenever possible.

We like to have a few extra dollars saved in a secret stash.

We tell the boss we’ll have the report done by Friday, when we could probably finish by Thursday.

It doesn’t feel good to go down to the wire, and have NOTHING left.

Even on Star Trek, Scotty frequently said that it’s never a good idea to tell the Captain how fast the ship can REALLY go.

Building up a set of “defensive linguistic tools” can be thought of as the same way.

That extra bit of secret power.

Even if you never really need them, knowing they are there will make you feel much more confident.

If somebody says something hurtful to you, out of the blue, it can really sting.

Especially if they are somebody close.

But if you’ve got a secret stash of linguistic weapons, you can look at them and just IMAGINE saying them.

Just knowing you have them will take away that sting.

And paradoxically, just knowing you have them will keep those insults from ever happening in the first place.

It’s like you’re radiating a different kind of energy.

Kind of like a quiet guy with a black belt in martial arts.

Nobody knows exactly why, but they suspect it would be a very BAD idea to mess with him.

Luckily, learning these linguistic skills isn’t nearly as difficult as getting a black belt.

All you need is a few minutes a day, and before you know it, your energy will shift.

Get Started:

Stop Manipulation

One Track Mind

Flip Your Polarity

There’s a pretty common theme in a few martial arts movies.

Not the “ninja vs. demons” kind or the “martial artist superhero that kills everybody” kind.

The “coming of age” kind.

There’s usually a point where the main character understands the REAL reason for learning how to fight.

So you don’t have to.

It’s long been known that “smart” criminals (the ones who are careful when they choose their crimes so they don’t get caught) tend to “case the joint” before they commit the crime.

Maybe the drive around a neighborhood, and find a house that doesn’t have an alarm, and an old door whose lock will be easy to get through.

Street criminals who make their living from theft also watch people very carefully.

The last thing they want is to have their “victim” chase them down and beat the crap out of them.

So they purposely find weak victims.

Exactly how lions pick the weakest of the herd to chase.

This “strategy” is pretty common among all animals.

“We” want to get the biggest return for the lowest cost.

Lions chase weak zebras, criminals stalk weak people, etc.

Psychologists tell us that one out of every 25 people is a sociopath.

Given that most of us encounter HUNDREDS of people a day, that means that each and every day, we cross paths with SEVERAL sociopaths.

This can be VERY DANGEROUS if you’re giving off the “wrong” energy.

Energy that indicates a less than robust “inner frame.”

Unfortunately, if we just want to be left alone, there’s no guarantee the world is going to comply with our wishes.

If you WANT to be left alone, you’ve got to project “leave me alone” energy.

Paradoxically, if you are THINKING “leave me alone” thoughts, you are PROJECTING the OPPOSITE energy.

Luckily, with a little practice, you can shift your internal “polarity” so you can project the RIGHT energy.

And just as paradoxically, the inner thoughts that lead to “leave me alone” energy are thoughts they say, “This is MY world, and I can do as I please.”

Learn More:

Stop Manipulation

Bam! Pow!

Ninja Language Patterns

We humans use a lot of vagueness.

Both in our thinking, and our language.

We have to.

There is just TOO much stuff going on inside and outside to communicate otherwise.

There’s a movie called “The Usual Suspects.”

It’s considered a classic, or even a cult favorite.

But the MEANING of the movie is VERY vague.

So much so that when the writer and the director finished making the movie, and were ready to go on the press tour, they had a HUGE fight.

One guy had the impression that most of the movie was TRUE, (meaning the events in the movie actually happened) and only a little bit was imaginary.

On the other hand, the other guy thought most of the movie was a HALLUCINATION of one of the characters, and very little was actually true.

If you’ve seen the movie, you can get this.

You can see BOTH interpretations when you see it.

Either mostly real, or mostly a hallucination.

This is one of the problems with vague language and vague thinking.

It’s also one of our BIGGEST weak points.

Because when something is wrong, we tend to IMAGINE the worst.

That’s how we managed to survive in our very ancient and very harsh environment.

If our ancestors had always assumed the BEST, we would have died out a long time ago.

So we’re kind of stuck with that “imagine the worst” response to vague and unknown things.

Which can make us vulnerable, if somebody KNOWS how to push our buttons.

All they have to do is LOOK at us funny, and we’ll imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Even worse if they say something that’s even a little mean, but still kind of vague.

They might let out a sigh, roll their eyes and say, “I KNEW you were doing to do that.”

Even if we’ve done NOTHING, that simple and VERY VAGUE statement can make us feel horrible.

Luckily, there is a VERY POWERFUL way to defend against any kind of VAGUE statement.

So simple it will make people that toss insults quake in their boots.

It’s easy to learn, and simple to use.

And once you TEACH the world HOW to respond to you, they will

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Defend Your Boundaries

How To Really Really Like Yourself

Energy is a strange concept.

Even when talking about energy from a pure physics standpoint, it’s hard to wrap our minds around.

We can’t really EVER experience PURE energy.

Even though energy and matter are the same.

That’s what Einstein’s famous equation (E=mc^2) says.

Energy EQUALS Matter (times a pure number, the speed of light squared).

But every single experience we have of “energy” is really “energy” AND matter.

Even electricity is the movement of electrons, which are particles.

And those particles have mass.

But when talking about us humans, with respect to energy, what do we really mean?

If you say somebody has “positive energy” what does that mean?

It generally means the sum total of all their subconscious body language movements.

How they walk, how they talk, the tone of their voice. How slowly or quickly they speak, etc.

You could also say the same about somebody who has “negative” energy.

Maybe they are angry, frustrated, fists clenched, teeth gritted, looking around for a fight.

Sociologists who study criminals tell us that when criminals are out looking for victims, they look for people who radiate “victim energy.”

People that look down when they walk, have their shoulders slumped over, rarely make eye contact with anybody.

They KNOW that if they rob these “victim energy” people, they will get away pretty easily.

Unfortunately, a LOT of people operate this way.

Not just pick-pockets and purse snatchers.

It’s believed that one out of every twenty five people is a clinical SOCIOPATH.

And these people have a sixth sense for those of us who are EASY to take advantage off.

It gets worse.

Even people that wouldn’t be considered sociopaths tend to know WHEN they can take advantage of others.

Even those close to us.

They get to know our buttons, and they learn how to push them.

It makes us emotionally weak, and allows them to get what THEY want a lot easier.

Even if you weren’t being taken advantage of, radiating this kind of energy (the easy to be manipulated kind) is NOT attractive in the least.

What IS the most attractive kind of “energy?”

Comfortable in your own skin.

Somebody that ENJOYS who they are.

If YOU like YOU the world will too.

But if you DON’T like YOU, the world can be a dangerous place.

Luckily it’s MUCH EASIER than most people realize to switch into the “I like me” energy, which radiates confidence and attractiveness.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

Hot Buttered Popcorn

Hot Buttered Popcorn!

The first job I had selling anything was in elementary school.

Me and my buddy volunteered to sell popsicles at lunch.

It was a lot easier than I’d expected.

Selling stuff people want to buy is pretty fun.

Everybody’s generally in a good mood.

When I was in HS I worked at a movie theater.

That was also fun.

Especially when they tried and “experimental” sales method.

I was eager to try it out.

Instead of sitting there passively behind the snack counter waiting for customers, they wanted me to load up a cart of stuff and walk into the theaters.

The girl doing it hated it.

Nobody would buy anything.

But she was just standing there, waiting for people to come up.

I tried a different method.

I would push the cart up and down the aisles, yelling out whatever goofy sales pitches I could think of.

At first it was pretty embarrassing.

But pretty soon people started buying stuff.

Soon, I was sold out.

It happened over and over.

Even the people that didn’t buy stuff were entertained. Some high school kid making up lame sales pitches, yelling them out as he walked up and down the aisles.

Of course, there are many ways to sell things.

And few things are as enjoyable to purchase as popcorn on movie night.

At least, that’s now how they seem at first.

Some things we buy because we have to.

But even those purchases can be turned into something exciting.

How?

All sales (and all decisions for that matter) happen when we WANT to do something more than we WANT to NOT do something.

It’s really a matter of “either-or” at the end.

But the cool thing is there are many ways to attach things they are already excited about to whatever you want them to do.

Buy something, or give you their phone number or go somewhere with you.

All you need to do is build their general desire, and then attach that general desire to whatever you’re suggesting.

A few simple language patterns, and some spatial anchoring, you can connect any feeling to any decision.

Not only will they love doing what you suggest, but it will be a lot of fun.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Sales

All In Your Mind

How To Calibrate Your Energy

I used to work in this huge lab.

We had all kinds of expensive equipment used for measuring all kinds of stuff.

Each one had to be calibrated.

Some every day, some once a year.

There was another lab, (with one guy) and his only job was to make sure the calibration of all the stuff (in my lab and in the other labs) was all up to date.

We made stuff that was regulated by the FDA, and they’d pop in unannounced every once in a while and check.

How do you calibrate something?

Compare it to a standard.

For example, one of the units of measure for pressure is millimeters of mercury.

A glass column filled with liquid mercury will exert a certain pressure relative to the height.

So you increase the actual column height of the actual mercury, and then compare that to how the electronic pressure gauge is reading.

You can calibrate people the same way.

This is one of those exercises people do in NLP seminars.

Ask a person two questions, and get them to tell the truth on one, and lie on the other.

The idea is you relax your mind, defocus your eyes, you can read the difference their energy between lying and telling the truth.

If you do a few times by calibrating (knowing when they are lying so you can accurately measure they’re “lying energy”), then you can have fun.

It’s a lot easier than people think.

The thing about us humans is we’ve been around a long time, and been effectively communicating with one another LONG BEFORE spoken language was invented.

But if ALL you focus on is spoken language, you’ll mist over NINETY PERCENT of people’s true message.

Think about the difference between really GOOD actors and really TERRIBLE actors.

Both are given the words to say. Both are told HOW to say those words.

But some are really good, (and are worth millions) and some are not so good.

What’s the difference?

Inner congruence. We believe the million dollar actors.

The straight to streaming actors, not so much.

How do you develop that inner congruence?

By accepting and appreciating ALL your energy.

Few people ever consider this.

Most folks only know they have good stuff, and bad stuff.

They chase the good stuff, and ignore anything that causes discomfort, anxiety, or fear.

But if you appreciate ALL your energy, and learn to express it through all of your communication, there is magic.

Learn More:

Sex Transmutation

Brains Brains Brains

Hallucinating Holes In Boxes

There’s a cool hallucination in physics.

It’s used in both solid state physics and quantum physics.

It’s a purposely created hallucination because it makes the math a lot easier.

For example, when studying solid state physics, they need to understand a crap ton of particles in a very small space.

But since each particle has a few variables (mass, spin, charge, etc.) the math is way too complicated.

One guy came up with the idea of instead of thinking of a box of particles (which there are a lot) to think of a box of holes.

There’s a lot fewer holes. And the holes each have zero everything (mass, spin, charge).

Turns out that describing a box filled with a few holes is a lot easier than describing a box filled with a lot more actual particles.

It works because they all know it’s a hallucination.

A purposely created hallucination just to understand the math easier.

Trouble comes when we come up with metaphors to describe underlying complex phenomenon, but we forget about it.

And we start to treat the metaphors as actual descriptions of reality.

For example, a common metaphor is “The Road is Better Than The Inn.”

But you don’t have to be on an actual road going to an actual inn to understand it to mean the process of getting somewhere (even if that somewhere is at a certain skill level) is often times better than the destination.

Sometimes we do the opposite.

Instead of coming up with metaphors to describe something, we ignore that something altogether.

We’re terrified of finding out what it REALLY is.

Kind of like when you get your bank statement in the mail.

So we ignore it.

Most of us hope that so long as nothing “bad” happens, then ignoring it is a good strategy.

It seems to be working.

But what if that which we ignore is our source of our greatest power?

Power can certainly be intimidating.

There are lot of metaphorical stories about us dumb humans biting off more than we can chew.

But what if those stories themselves are really tricks?

To KEEP us from looking?

After all, if YOU discovered your greatest power, would you tell everybody, or keep it secret?

Find Out:

Sex Transmutation