Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

Believe In Yourself

Who Leads Your Life?

Back in the 1800’s a couple of genius scientists made a prediction.

Their prediction was that “science” had already more or less discovered everything.

Lucky for us, they were wrong.

This is pretty common.

Before they invented railroads, most “experts” scoffed at the idea that people could travel long distances in a short time.

Even physical accomplishments, like the four minute mile were thought to be impossible.

Until Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes.

Once he showed it was possible, suddenly everybody could do it.

Well, not “everybody” but you get the idea.

But the question is, why did those folks who ran a sub-four minute mile AFTER Bannister did it need to wait?

Why did they did to SEE it to BELIEVE it?

Bannister did the opposite.

He BELIEVED it first, then he achieved it.

One way is easy.

That’s the way most people live their lives.

They won’t believe ANYTHING unless they see proof.

But here’s the thing.

If you wait for PROOF that something is “possible” (or safe or whatever else you want proof of) then EVERYBODY will have that same proof.

And since MOST people will wait for PROOF, that means MOST people will only be able to do what all the other “most people” do.

And if you can ONLY do what “most people” can do, then you’ll GET the same thing that most people get.

Which, by definition, is average.

Mediocrity.

Bannister didn’t want average.

Neither did all of the scientists and entrepreneurs who kept inventing stuff even though the “experts” said everything had already been invented.

Doing that takes courage.

Doing that takes belief in YOURSELF.

Doing that requires you are capable of moving forward into uncertainty, without somebody holding your hand and showing the way.

It requires you LEAD. Not necessarily others, but your own life.

Funny thing is, even if you don’t WANT to lead others, if you lead yourself, plenty of people will follow.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Jam Your Brain

Are You Close To A Breakthrough?

Some skills are highly specialized.

Others are very general.

Since our mind-body systems have to follow the laws of economics, we have to maximize our efficiency.

The most “expensive” part of our body is our brain.

By weight, it burns more calories than every other part.

So there a lot of “efficiencies” built in.

Thinking patterns that save on energy.

Sometimes these help, sometimes they don’t.

They help when we learn something enough so that we can do it without thinking.

Unconscious competence.

Other things, like leftover instincts, can get in the way.

Irrational fears, memories that don’t help is any more.

Just like on your computer, it can help to periodically go in and clean up the junk cluttering up your “hard drive.”

One of the weird things about human creativity is that things seem super easy in retrospect, but looking forward they can seem impossible.

Inventions, for example, seem totally blatant AFTER they are invented.

But for some reason, it took a LONG TIME for people to invent them.

For example, something like a stirrup seems totally obvious.

Little straps attached to the saddle of a horse, so you could keep your balance.

But people fought on horseback for over a thousand years before somebody thought to invent the stirrup.

But once they did, it changed everything.

Plenty of inventions are like that.

Dead simple, yet out of reach at the same time.

Those who “stumble” across these inventions can sometimes make billions.

But even if you don’t want to be an inventor, or even a business person, being able to train your brain to see things others can’t will be very helpful.

It can also make your life a lot easier.

There may be HUGE opportunities right in front of your nose that you can’t see.

Find Them:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Monsters Are Coming

Epic Journeys and Monster Fights

Why do we humans love stories so much?

Anything that is ubiquitous across all time and all cultures usually has a LOT of reasons for being around.

Imagine what it was like in ancient hunter-gatherer tribes.

Before written language was invented.

What kind of stories would they have told and retold?

They would have to be entertaining.

Nobody likes boring stories.

But they also had to be inspirational.

After all, living back in those days wasn’t easy.

Imagine your typical hunter-gatherer, going to “work” every day.

They had to find an animal to kill and eat. Usually the bigger the better.

What kind of “story-memories” could be helpful to have when chasing down a big wooly mammoth?

Fairy princess stories?

Or the little guy kills the big monster story?

How about when the weather changed, and they had to migrate into unknown territory.

What stories would be useful to tell each night during those long journeys?

Frog into prince stories?

Or epic adventure stories?

When you watch a movie or read a book, what character do you imagine to be?

The good guy or the bad guy?

The main character or one of the supporting characters?

The Greeks knew long ago one of the reasons we love stories is it gives us a feeling of emotional release.

We get to feel the “tension-release” without having to actually go through the risky or painful “event.”

Books and movies that flop are usually because they don’t “move” us.

And when they say, “move,” that obviously means “move our emotions” around.

If you’ve studied hypnosis, you know that the “thing” that “moves” us when it comes to individual language is STRUCTURE much more than content.

And guess what?

All of those epic stories of adventure, killing the monster, etc., they have the SAME structure.

Joseph Campbell called it the “Hero’s Journey.”

The cool thing is that you don’t need to be Spielberg or Stephen King to create these same structures.

You can create them conversationally, and move people profoundly.

You’ll find it’s a pretty cool party trick.

But that’s just the beginning.

Because any time you’re “chit chatting” to somebody, and you drop in a few of these similar structures, you can have a lasting effect on whoever you’re speaking to.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Click With Anybody

How To Click With Nearly Anybody

The idea of resonance has always been a favorite of mine.

Even as a kid, when I didn’t know what it was.

Me and my friends learned how to shake street signs.

If you push it back and forth at the right frequency, you can get some pretty huge oscillations.

Much bigger than you’d be able to push on your own.

Being a kid and leveraging some principle of science to create an effect seemingly impossible is pretty cool.

The same happens when people “click” with one another.

Most of the time we stumble through life, just trying randomly.

So when that “click” does happen, it’s extra special.

Because it’s “scarce” it seems to be more valuable than it really is.

Scarcity does that.

But this presents a problem, one we really don’t realize.

Because we perceive those situations (where we “click” with others) as “scarce” we tend to hang onto them LONGER than we should.

Luckily, this won’t happen once we realize that feeling of “scarcity” is only in our mind.

Once you learn how to CREATE that “click” feeling, the scarcity goes away.

And will make those “click” situations MUCH BETTER.

Normally, when we start to “click” with somebody we are both worried and ecstatic at the same time.

Happy it’s happening, but worried because it’s scarce.

And scarce things tend to stay that way.

So not only do we hang on for dear life, we tend to do things not to ENHANCE that “click” feeling, but protect it.

We don’t want to ruin a good thing.

But once you learn how to create that click feeling in a majority of the people you interact with, a couple of things will happen.

One is because they won’t be scarce, you can relax and enjoy them.

Two is because you’ll be relaxing and enjoying the situation, the other person will “resonate” with you.

This is what people do.

We vibe with one another.

If YOU are nervous, so will the other person.

IF you are relaxed and enjoying yourself, so will the other person.

This requires that you stop HOPING it will happen, and learn how to MAKE it happen.

Once you do, you’ll have a skill few people even know exist.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

My Hero!

Show Them Their Hidden Hero

Lately (last ten years or so) they’ve been a LOT of superhero movies and TV shows.

Word on the street is that ten or twenty years ago, studio execs were a little iffy on superhero Hollywood movies.

Dudes dressed in tights running around didn’t seem like such a good idea.

Great for comic books, but not up on the big screen.

But then they stared making them, and the movies started making money.

Now there’s ALL KINDS of superhero’s on TV and in the movies.

Why do we love these clearly fictional superheroes so much?

The answer to that could fill a doctoral dissertation in philosophy, psychology or even evolutionary biology.

Maybe it’s because we would all love to be “saved” by the superhero.

Or maybe we all secretly wish we could BE the superhero.

Maybe that’s why a lot of them are anonymous.

“Regular people” by day, but when they put on their costumes, (so nobody knows their identity) they run around saving people and beating up bad guys.

Maybe it’s a useful fantasy. Maybe we all really DO have some kind of “super powers” but we’re afraid to show it.

So the “anonymous superhero” is compelling to us.

But there is a tricky way you can “be” a superhero in real life.

You won’t get to beat up bad guys, but you’ll be able to move people emotionally to wonderful places they can’t otherwise get to on their own.

All while remaining anonymous.

How’s that?

First, you understand the superhero structure. The deep structure that is in nearly all stories.

Then wrap your “suggestions” for them in a superhero story.

Then “hide in” in a few other stories, carefully nested in the center.

That way, it’s not really “you” telling the story.

It’s some character within the story that is telling the story to another character.

One is YOUR alter ego, the other is THEIR alter ego.

But because you’ve hidden both identities, nobody will know what’s going on but you.

And you will have hidden your superhero powers in the best possible place.

In plain sight.

Learn More:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Emotions Are Awesome

Escape The Rigid Hierarchy

I watched a pretty goofy movie the other night on Netflix.

It was a romantic comedy, and the “hero” was a salesperson for a big drug company.

They had them memorize a sales pitch, and they had to practice saying it while holding a lit match.

The idea was to finish before the match burned out.

And in order to “close” doctors (they people they were selling to) they had to hide out in the parking lot and wait for them to pull in.

Then they’d run up and hammer out their sales pitch.

When you’re selling like that, it’s clearly a number’s game.

It’s about as cold as you can get.

Meaning the customer (in this case doctors) have no idea you’re there. Then you show up out of nowhere and start pounding them with “features and benefits” in twenty seconds or less.

This is the model of almost all sales, even with warm customers.

You walk into a shop, and your sort of interested, but they still use the same technique.

They take a bunch of pre-set, memorized ideas, and try to FORCE them into your head.

This is precisely why sales is high tension, and high turnover.

Few people can handle that much “confrontation” for very long.

Why is it like this?

All the way up the food chain, it’s the same way.

The upper managers (in the movie and in real life) train the salespeople.

The sales people are told EXACTLY what to say, and then they turn around and repeat it to the customer.

A very tight chain of command.

There’s no room for dissent, no room for discussion.

The ideas are created at the higher level.

Then they are “implanted” into lower level minds (salespeople) who go out and forcibly try and “implant” them into the customers minds.

This is what happens when people aren’t allowed any independent thought.

The ideas come down from the top, and that’s the way it is.

Whoever gets those ideas (in this case the memorized sales pitch) into the most minds gets the most money.

Of course, it doesn’t HAVE to be that way.

You can be an independent thinker.

And independent idea creator, not only in YOUR mind but in the minds of people you are talking to.

When you’re going from the top down, it’s ALWAYS about content.

But when you’re an independent operator, a freelance “thinker,” you can start with the emotions.

And give your listeners the FREEDOM to “dress them up” with their own content.

This is much easier (and fun) for you, and much more enjoyable for them.

You can think of it of setting their minds free from the rigid chain of command.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Get Her Dreaming Of You

Make Music For Her Feelings

If everybody can do something, that something is not worth a lot.

The economics of supply and demand is pretty simple.

If there is a HUGE supply, then the cost is going to be cheap.

Meaning if your only skill is unpacking boxes and putting stuff on shelves, you won’t be worth much to any employer.

Sad, but harshly true.

The world of dating works the same way.

Think of all the girls you know.

Chances are you can easily arrange them into a hierarchy.

The ones at the top are in the most demand.

It’s the same with us guys. When girls think of us, WE are also arranged in a hierarchy.

The guys at the top are in the most demand.

For girls, being at the top means being genetically blessed with beauty.

What about guys?

Fortunately, for us it’s a lot less about looks.

It’s about how she FEELS when she interacts with us.

For guys, it’s still about FEELINGS, but those feelings are what we feel when we LOOK at her.

But for girls, they need to interact with us for a while.

This means it’s largely based on how we TALK to her.

The things we can do to her with our words.

And not just the words, but how we say them.

Most guys don’t have much of a clue.

They try a few things, and hope for the best.

That would be like picking up a violin and randomly playing strings, and hoping music comes out.

Usually it doesn’t work.

But if you have some music, and some instructions on how to play, you can make some pretty sweet sounds.

And since most guys are too lazy to learn, you’ll be the only one making beautiful music while every other goof sounds like a dying cat.

Click Here To Learn More

Island Lovers

Seductive Mind Myths

I read an interesting book awhile back about memes.

Ideas that spread from person to person.

They are kind of like “genes” in that they replicate, and as they do so, they tend to morph and evolve, just like genes.

What was interesting was some of the reasons that memes spread.

Truth is NOT one of the main reasons.

We believe memes because they are easy to understand, they make us feel “in the know” and a few other reasons.

A famous example is a young female anthropologist from England a couple hundred years ago.

She wanted to make a name for herself, so she visited some islands in the South Seas by herself.

The natives figured she was pretty naive, so they “took the piss” as they say.

They told her a bunch of made up stuff, just to have fun.

She came back and had these tales of these mythical people in the South Seas where everybody had sex with everybody.

(Kind of like in high school, when dudes brag about how much action they get, compared to now much they REALLY get).

For a while, talk of this mysterious “open sex” society in the South Seas was all the rage in upper society.

Especially when talking about nubile young “island girls.”

(Thurston old chap, have you heard? That island in the South Seas where EVERYBODY has sex with EVERYBODY?)

A few older, more experienced anthropologists (who had studied plenty of societies and suspected something was wrong) decided to go and have a look for themselves.

And sure enough, when they just observed their behavior (instead of asking the guys, “how often do you get laid?”) they found it was all nonsense.

Funny thing was, that after they came back and published their official report, the myth continued.

For over a hundred years. Even today, people still think there are mythical “island sex parties” somewhere.

Not because they are true, but because we WANT to believe it.

Plenty of these myths still exist.

Not because they are true, but because we LIKE to believe them.

One myth that exists in the world of sales, persuasion and seduction is you have to have a super charismatic personality.

That you have an ultra strong frame.

That you have to know all kinds of advanced language patterns.

When in reality, the opposite is true.

The more you can FORGET about yourself, the more you can OPEN the other person.

And get them to do anything.

Click Here To Learn More

Become A Natural Heartbreaker

She’ll Want You To Stay

Here’s wicked mind trick to play on a girl.

It’s not really mean, but it can be if you deliver it the wrong way.

If you do it playfully, it will make her VERY INTERESTED in you.

You see a girl you’re interested in. Then you find something about her (not her looks or anything based on her genetics) that you’d like to talk about.

Something that she CHOSE, like an article of clothing or something.

Understand this is NOT a neg hit or anything like that. You are just looking for something you’re generally interested in asking her about.

You walk up, and ask her the question.

“Excuse me, I noticed you had an interesting pair of shoes, I was wondering what the story was behind them.”

You’ve got to say this as even as possible. Not slyly, like you’re waiting to deliver a witty punch line or anything. It helps if you really ARE genuinely curious. It won’t work if she’s wearing a plain pair of shoes.

She’ll tell you, and then you ask a couple follow up questions. Then when you’re satisfied, say something like this:

“Thanks. I thought you were pretty cute and then I saw your shoes and just had to know. Take care,” and then SPLIT.

This is NOT a trick to get her number.

This is NOT a trick to make her like you.

This is a MASSIVE confidence building exercise.

It ONLY WORKS if you walk away BEFORE it gets uncomfortable.

Because as you walk away, you’ll FEEL HER watching you and wondering why the heck you didn’t number close her.

Do this enough times and it will build up MASSIVE CONFIDENCE in your ability to talk to and create attraction in women.

Which means any girl you talk to will be begging for more.

Click Here To Learn More

Develop Massive Girl Getting Confidence

How To Get Insane Confidence

They say girls like a guy with “confidence.”

But what the heck does this mean?

First of all, there are plenty of kinds of confidence.

You might be VERY confident that you can make a cheese sandwich, but very UN-confident that you can play Beethoven on the piano.

Some people say you need to be confident around people.

That’s better than making a cheese sandwich (at least from her eyes) but it’s not quite the whole story.

Plenty people are VERY confident around their buddies, but freeze up around strangers.

So maybe being confident around strangers is what they mean.

Some salespeople are EXTREMELY confident since they talk to strangers all day, but they can’t get a girl’s number to save their life.

Now we’re getting closer.

The “confidence” they mean when they say “girls like a guy with confidence” is the confidence to talk COMFORTABLY to girls.

Not just her, but ALL girls.

Girls SAY they like guys with confidence.

But they are also INSANELY attracted to guys who are confident not just with her, but with ALL GIRLS.

If you’re ONLY confident with her, but collapse into a pile of mush around other girls, you won’t be a challenge to her. She’ll feel like she “has” you, and this will kill her attraction.

So when she sees you confident talking to ALL girls, she KNOWS she’s got to work to get you.

And this makes her VERY attracted to you, whether she likes it or not.

So, the million dollar question:

How, exactly, do you GET confident with all girls?

There’s a pretty easy way to practice. To ease your way there. To become INSANELY confident with ALL girls without EVER leaving your comfort zone.

Click Here To Learn More