Tag Archives: persuasion

Fear Of Being Left Behind?

Unexpected Ego Problems

Some of the best techniques have been around for a while.

A long, long while. Thousands of years.

Reason being, of course, is that they work. Especially anything that has anything to do with other people.

Because people are the same as they were thousands of years ago, it makes sense that the same “people strategies” have been used over and over.

Sure, somebody might come along and give things new and fancy names, but the strategies and structures are still intact.

Not only do the same structures work, but the same obstacles exist.

People are afraid of rejection today just like they were thousands of years ago.

People are terrified of being “left behind” just like they were thousands of years ago.

Being recognized for your accomplishments by your peers feels pretty good, as it did thousands of years ago.

One of the simplest means of influence is that you can get anybody to do anything, so long as they are doing it for THEIR reasons.

However, there is an unexpected problem that pops up when you learn to do this.

And that is your ego won’t like it.

How’s that?

All of us CRAVE recognition. Validation. To be noticed for our genius ideas.

So when we carefully construct a message to influence others, and they take our advice, it’s as if they thought up the idea on their own.

This is GREAT, until you realize something.

They won’t look at you and say, “Wow, that’s a fantastic idea! Thanks for suggesting it!”

You’ll just be talking to them, they’ll start nodding, and THEY’LL get the idea as if THEY thought of it.

In fact, they might not even remember the specific “content” of the conversation.

They’ll just remember talking to you, and then getting this AWESOME idea.

That it was your idea all along won’t even register.

Now, some people don’t have a problem with this. They LIKE the idea of being a covert persuader, helping people make decisions that they feel really good about.

But others tend to feel a little underwhelmed. After all, it feels good when somebody genuinely thanks you for something you did.

But if you CAN get over that pesky desire of your ego, you can create magic.

Talk to people in the right way, get them thinking of a big, bright future, you’re on your way.

What would YOU like people to do?

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Elicit Their Inner Hero

Elicit Their Inner Hero

There are a lot of TV shows that are searches for talent.

One story we all seem to love is some unknown goof, just like you and me, who has some crazy skill.

They go on one of those talent search shows, belt out some opera song, and wow everybody.

And they go from zero to hero overnight.

Why are these stories so compelling?

Consider the stereotypical “hero’s journey.” Another situation where a normal goof suddenly is called to a great mission, and becomes the hero. Again, zero to hero.

Why are these so compelling?

Because all of us, deep inside, KNOW we are capable of achieving much more than we have. Doing much more than we’ve done.

And when we watch those TV shows or movies, we imagine it’s us that is the hero. It’s us that’s in that situation where we are being discovered or being pulled toward a hero’s journey.

If you could choose your own hero’s journey, what would it be?

Which demons would you slay? Which kingdoms would you save?

If you were to be discovered for one “talent” that would wow everybody, which talent would you choose?

Sometimes its tough to know what to do. Especially when we’ve got jobs that suck, bosses that suck worse, and just barely enough money to cover the rent every month.

If we could only make that one “Breakthrough” everything would be different, right?

Maybe, maybe not.

Consider that dream you have as your motivating engine. To keep going forward, no mater what.

To crush every obstacle in front of you. To get closer and closer to the defining creation of your life.

In reality, most people that are “discovered” have actually been practicing a certain skill for a long, long time.

What do you practice every day?

Which skills are you making better every day?

One of the most important skills is communication.

If you can effectively communicate your ideas to others, so they’ll not only be heard, but acted upon, you’ll do far better than most.

And the first step is to seek the dreams and desires of others FIRST, before presenting your own.

That way, instead of them helping you, it will be a team effort. A much stronger and longer lasting relationship. Be it a business partnership or a romantic relationship.

First expand THEIR hopes and dreams, to get them excited.

Then show them how YOURS and THEIRS overlap.

Then they’ll be no stopping you.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Are You Pushing People Away?

Get Them To Do Anything

When I was a kid I learned this neat trick.

You take a bunch of salt and pepper and put it in a shallow pan of water, so it floats on the top.

Then you dip your finger in soap, and stick it in the center.

All the pepper magically goes to the outside of the pan.

I’m sure you know a lot of people that are like that.

Usually a boss or somebody of authority.

Sometimes it’s one of the “those” bosses that thinks everybody likes him or her.

But they are only nice because they are the boss.

So if you were to ever see them about in public, you’d quickly hide your face so they didn’t see you.

In truth, a lot of us are like that to a lot of people.

Like it or not, most of us just rub people the wrong way.

Of course, we don’t see it like that.

We see them as the problem.

Obviously, we are perfect. There’s NOTHING wrong with us.

So when people don’t go along with our ideas, or don’t laugh at our jokes, they must have some kind of mental problem, right?

The funny thing is that EVERYBODY (no matter how crazy their ideas are) can find people who agree with them.

But if you are going to ONLY look for people who ALREADY agree with you, you’re going to be limiting yourself to a very small slice of the population.

Wouldn’t it be better to simply find a better METHOD of getting people to agree with you? So you wouldn’t be forced to sort through so many people?

Luckily, there is.

All you’ve got to do is amplify THEIR criteria first.

The secret of human nature is EVERYBODY always has a huge collection of unmet needs and wants.

If you start talking about YOUR wants and needs first, you’re hoping to get lucky.

But if you start talking about THEIR wants and needs first, you’ll be doing something completely different.

By talking about their wants, and expanding on them, they’ll start to see YOU through THEIR lens of unique desires.

So before you even talk about what you want, you’ve already made it much easier on them.

This is what advertisers have been doing since it was invented.

Taking a product and framing it in the best possible way.

Well, the BEST possible to frame ANYTHING is through somebody’s OWN DESIRES.

And when they start to look at YOU through THEIR desires, they’ll be eager to agree with pretty much anything.

(Yes, ANYTHING!)

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Speak To Be Heard

How To Get Them To Love Your Message

I watched this interesting documentary the other day on Netflix.

Kind of positive but sad at the same time.

About an American family that wanted kids, but couldn’t have them, so they adopted a couple from Russia.

These kids were already speaking, so they could speak Russian but not English.

Positive because the parents were trying to improve all of their lives (theirs and the kids).

But sad because they had troubles communicating.

They kept trying to lecture the kids in English, but you could tell the kids didn’t really know what the parents were saying.

Once I was in Thailand, haggling over the price of some tourist knick-knack from a street vendor.

Not only did she not speak English, but she didn’t speak. Deaf-mute.

But we communicated perfectly. In fact, I enjoyed the conversation very much.

One thing I get a kick out of is haggling over prices, especially if the other guy or girl likes haggling as well, as this lady clearly did.

But even though we could only use gestures, we got our messages across perfectly.

They say in NLP that the purpose of your communication is the outcome you get.

Meaning it doesn’t matter WHAT your intention is, it ONLY matters how the other person will perceive your message.

In a tragic case showing this, a Japanese student was in Texas looking for a Halloween party. He was dressed up, and went into the wrong house.

The owner pointed a gun at him and told him to FREEZE.

But the Japanese guy misunderstood, kept moving forward, and was killed.

If it’s really important for you to get your message across, it may be a good idea to take a little time to make sure it’s heard.

The adoptive parents didn’t, and it cause problems.

The sidewalk vendor did, and made a sale. I was HAPPY to give her my money, if only for the experience.

So, how do you know how to best present your message?

How do you know it will be heard, and understood?

Ask!

If you ask other people what they want, BEFORE you throw a random jumble of word salad at their brains, you’ll have a much better chance of your message getting across.

And them taking your advice, or buying your product, or giving you their phone number.

The truth about us humans is we are a walking, talking collection of unmet needs and desires.

Once we get them satisfied, we want something else.

Even where you are right now, as you read this, it will be hard to sit or stand very long before you shift your position.

We are ALWAYS on the lookout to improve our state.

Sometimes subconsciously, in the second to second short term.

Sometimes consciously, in the year to year long term.

If you KNOW what they want, and frame YOUR message in terms of THEIR desires, they’ll LOVE listening to you.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Gold, Bitches!

Find The Gold That’s Always Around You

I’ve had a lot of crappy jobs in my life.

And some pretty awesome ones.

One of my favorites was when I worked at a movie theater in high school.

Lots of people my age, fast paced, got to meet people when they were in a good mood.

The best part was when I’d load up a car with popcorn, drinks and candy and push it into a packed theater a few minutes before the movie started.

I would push the cart up and down the aisles and holler out like an old school pitchman.

And I almost ALWAYS sold out.

Other jobs were horrible. The worse was when I was a telemarketer. They had us memorize a script. And hooked us up to an automatic dialing computer. We would see the person’s name a split second after they answered.

And spit out the memorized pitch. If they hung up, the computer would automatically dial another line.

It was incredibly BORING.

The only fun part was when somebody got ultra pissed and went off into a well spoken tirade against telemarketers. THAT part was pretty entertaining!

Funny thing was, if I agreed with everything they said, while they were yelling at me, they actually thanked me when they were done.

It’s easy to fall into a rut, and hear the same things and say the same things day in and day out.

So when we finally unleash how we REALLY feel, even if it’s anger, it feels pretty good to get some sympathy and understanding.

Every single person you run across has all kinds of things they’d LOVE to express.

But most are too shy, and nobody ever asks.

So they never do.

Which is why there is a GOLD MINE inside pretty much every person you come across.

Even if you’re just looking to kill time while waiting for the bus, people can provide enormous value.

Everybody’s got a story. Everybody’s got a different perspective.

All you’ve got to do is practice “opening them up.”

Because inside, there is TREASURE.

And the more people you talk to, the more stories you’ll have.

The EASIEST way to use Covert Hypnosis to slip ideas into people’s minds is through stories.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool, that reminds me of this girl I was talking to the other day at the bus stop…”

And then launch into several nested loops, within which you can layer all kinds of language technology.

Most people go through life hoping to AVOID interacting with others. But once you realize that OTHER PEOPLE are your greatest resource, you’ll realize the HUGE gold mine that’s around you.

All the time!

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Enthusiasm Is Powerfully Persuasive

Become Naturally Persuasive

I used to know this guy in college.

Despite having a loyal girlfriend back home, every weekend he had a new girl.

Of all the guys I’ve met in my life, this guy, based on his RESULTS was the true definition of a “natural.”

A guy who gets TONS of girls without even trying.

I also worked with this guy once that was the same way, only with sales. He had an otherwise normal social life. Wife, kids, etc.

But you put him in front of a customer and they couldn’t help but buy from him. They would walk in the shop “just looking,” but would walk out after having spent several THOUSAND dollars, acting like he’d done them the BEST favor ever.

And both of these guys had the same thing going for them.

The reason they were naturals were they were fearlessly enthusiastic.

Neither were particularly good looking. Both radiated a kind of “I love living” type of vibe. That was infectious.

Girls couldn’t get enough of guy number one, and people could buy enough from guy number two.

They somehow retained their natural exuberance that kids have. See, most of us are super outgoing and excited when we’re kids. We run a lot. We see something cool, we run over to get a look, and we want to scream and holler and tell everybody.

But then we grow up and are sometimes even petrified when we become the center of attention, let alone actively seek it.

But the fear we feel is a paradox. Because EVERYBODY feels the same way.

And by openly expressing YOUR appreciation, you’ll take the heat off everybody else.

Which means they’ll be GLAD you are there.

Naturally, this isn’t easy. It’s best to think of this as a SKILL that you can LEARN, rather than something inherent, that you either have or don’t have.

A great way to practice is by using Covert Hypnosis. Since there’s so many patterns (like forty or fifty), you can choose ONE, and simply practice for a week or so.

Then move on to the next one.

When you combine these patterns with your natural excitement for life (that you had once but decided to hide somewhere), you’ll be an unstoppable force of nature.

Sell anything to anybody. Get as many girlfriends or boyfriends as you want.

The sky’s the limit.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Trash Can Man In Your Brain

The Uber Skill

I’ve done a lot of moving in my life.

Various places in college, various jobs, cities, countries, etc.

And there’s always one question that needs to be addressed every single time I move.

What to keep, and what to throw out.

Now, some moves are close enough so I just hire a couple guys to come by in a truck.

They take everything out of the old place, throw it in the back of the truck, and then unload it in the new place.

Not a lot of thinking required.

Other times, when I’ve got to do the moving myself, I have to think long and hard about some of my stuff.

Do I really need it, or is it junk?

One time I found myself living in an apartment that didn’t have a big dumpster outside.

So I had to carry my junk at night, down the street, and pitch it in the dumpster behind the supermarket.

If you do this enough, you find that you can really streamline your life.

There’re even experts that will help you do this, even if you’re not moving.

Ideas in your head can act the same way.

Some of it’s junk, and some of it’s gold.

Of course, you can’t tell if you don’t take a good look. Which most people are afraid to do.

Skills, however are always pure gold.

Sure, you may waste TIME learning a skill, but once you’ve got the skill, you never know when it will come in handy.

There’s a theory that since all of us are tied into to the super-conscious, (via the subconscious) no matter WHAT skill we are learning, there’s always a reason.

You might not understand why now, but in five years, you’ll be in a situation and you’ll suddenly remember you’ve got THAT skill (that you didn’t really know WHY you learned in the first place) and you’ll be golden.

So there’s really never a good argument to NOT learn new skills. Sure, some particular skills like juggling chainsaws might not be a good idea.

But other skills will DEFINITELY help you.

One of these is how well you communicate. Your ability to not only get those ideas out of your head clearly and succinctly, but to persuade others of their value, is absolutely crucial.

Well, not really CRUCIAL. But without them you’ll always be dependent on others.

But when you take the time to develop communication skills, you will have a lot more options, a lot more resources, and will be much less likely to ever get “stuck.”

Most people spend their time wondering “if.” Or they spend their time “hoping.”

I hope she likes me. I hope they hire me. I hope I don’t get fired.

But when you learn POWERFUL communication skills, you will not need to rely on OTHERS.

Instead of “hoping” for situations to go your way, you can carefully ENGINEER them to go your way.

How?

Here’s How:

Covert Hypnosis