Tag Archives: persuasion

Maximum Social Skills

Rewire Your Lower Brain

I’ve got a lot of software on my computer.

Software is one of the things I like to buy, even when I don’t really need it.

(Another one of my weaknesses is kitchen utensils).

One common thing about software these days is it’s self-updating.

Or at the very least, when there’s a new version out, you get a button at the beginning that you need to click.

Easy peasy.

Usually it removes the old software, and installs the new one.

Our brains are kind of similar.

Similar in that it’s the software that drives our bodies.

And it’s been continuously updated the past few million years.

Only it doesn’t quite update the same way.

Because of the logistics and mechanics humans, we can’t really “uninstall” the old version and install the new version.

We just get new software built on top of our old software.

You can see this if you take apart your head and look at your brain.

(Just kidding! Don’t do that, you might not be able to put it back together…)

But we do have remnants of our old brain.

The reptilian brain at the base, the mammalian brain on top of that and then the neo-cortex, on top of that.

Problem is each one thinks it’s in charge.

So we have all these conflicting ideas about what to do sometimes.

For example, until very recently, we RARELY saw somebody we didn’t know.

That possibility has only been around for a few thousand years.

So our brains are pretty conflicted on what to do when we’re in a situation where there are a lot of people that we don’t know.

Part of us wants to check it out and see what’s what. Especially if there are attractive people around.

But another part knows that other people can be dangerous.

Luckily, one of the unadvertised benefits (and it’s not even in the owner’s manual) of our new-cortex is we can reprogram our lower brain.

It’s pretty easy, when done consistently, and can lead to some pretty awesome results.

Click Here to Learn How

Naturally Relaxed

How To Make Other People Relaxed

There’s an ancient saying about how we humans represent ourselves.

The way we present ourselves to others, the way we present ourselves to ourselves, and then how we really are.

Most people rarely get past the first once. You might know somebody for a long time and find out later they were living some sort of secret life.

One of the hardest things in any sales or persuasion is making the person feel comfortable.

Unfortunately, when we read sales books we kind of skip past the part about rapport because we “already know that stuff.”

But since it’s the most important part, if we don’t get that stuff right, we won’t get very far.

Because without a degree of rapport, we’ll only be seeing the “pretend” part of the person we’re talking to.

So when we start to elicit criteria, or find out what’s important, they’ll only be telling us things we WANT to hear, not the real stuff.

One of the biggest obstacles to creating that deep feeling of rapport, so you can see the more of their real self, is anxiety.

Even if you go through all the steps, and spend a long time on rapport, they will automatically be as anxious as you.

Humans are like that.

We tend to resonate each other’s feelings and emotional state.

If you’re nervous, they’ll be nervous.

But the flip side is just as true.

If you are calm and relaxed, they’ll also be calm and relaxed. And they’ll do so unconsciously.

Meaning they’ll just feel calm and relaxed, and not really understand why.

They’ll interpret this as YOU somehow being “different” from everybody else.

So if you’re selling something, or creating a relationship, or just trying to make friends, it will be a lot easier.

Click Here To Learn How

Love Life Party

Turn Life Into A Playground

I had a buddy once who was going through some tough times.

He was seeing a counselor, and the counselor gave him an interesting homework assignment.

To go to his local playground once a week, for an hour, and just watch the kids play.

He had a note from his doctor, so the cops wouldn’t think he was a predator or anything.

One of his issues is that he was emotionally closed off. And it had ruined his last couple of relationships, and it was affecting his job.

The idea of watching kids play was to help him “model” their behavior.

Usually it’s the other way around. One of our jobs as adults (if we have kids) is to model good behavior that our kids will copy.

But my friend was trying to do the opposite.

He was trying to copy the kids behavior, at least on a subconscious level.

Being able to run around and play without worrying about being judged or told whatever they were expressing was wrong.

If he could be more like that in his real life, he would have a better time expressing himself.

All of us go through dramatic changes as we grow up. Some worse than others.

We pick up tons of baggage, stuff that we instinctively thought was protective at the time.

Unfortunately, our brains tend to generalize a lot.

If you got yelled out in third grade by your angry teacher, a “correct” response would be to decide that your particular teacher, in that particular context (whatever was going on a the time) was a little bit sketchy.

However, our brains don’t work like that. They are lightning fast, but not very accurate.

So the natural conclusion to getting yelled at by an authority figure, as a little kid is that “expressing myself is sometimes dangerous.”

The more we experience events like that, the stronger that belief becomes.

And for some of us, just the idea of asserting ourselves in public is pretty nerve wracking.

Like if a waiter brings the wrong order, some people would have a hard time asking the waiter to fix it.

However, there are plenty of ways to “undo” those unconscious learnings and generalizations.

The more you do, the more socially outgoing and confident you’ll be.

Imagine being able to express yourself anywhere, anytime, and with anybody, and having absolutely zero fear.

You’d make more money and have much better relationships.

Click Here to learn more.

Social Confidence

How To See Everybody as Friendly

Some things you learn, and then you don’t need to learn anymore.

Like riding a bike. Once you figure it out, it’s pretty easy.

Then there are some things you learn, and you don’t really need to keep practicing. You’ll still be able to do it, but if you don’t practice for a while you’ll get rusty.

Playing sports or any kind of musical instrument is like this.

Because there are a lot more steps, and you have to go through the four stages of learning, it’s easy to slip back from the top stage (unconscious competence) to the second top stage (conscious competence).

Then there are skills that if you spend any amount of time NOT practicing, they reset to zero.

Anything involving communication with other people is like this. ESPECIALLY when there are emotions involved.

Ask any guy who’s back on the dating scene after being married for a decade or so.

They might have been a mad player when they got married, but if they’re recently divorced, it feels like they’re starting over again.

Why is this?

Why do some skills degrade FAR FASTER than other skills?

Things like sports, playing instruments is very much an EXTERIOR activity.

Unless you’re the lead guitarist for a world famous rock band, it’s EASY to keep your real self hidden while your “exterior” plays the instrument or does the sport.

But whenever we get close to exposing our REAL inner selves, all kinds of emotions come into play.

Which is why you can learn to express yourself openly to one person, but as soon as you try with somebody else, it’s like you’re starting all over again.

All of us were once supremely confident and outgoing. We didn’t care who we were talking to. If we liked them, we laughed and giggled. If they scared us, we screamed and cried.

But then we learned (or were taught through a lot of trial and error) that expressing ourselves is DANGEROUS.

So our brains rely on the “one person at a time” way of learning to express ourselves.

Imagine if you had to RE-LEARN how to play the piano if you switched pianos!

Fortunately, once you UNLEARN that “people are scary.”

Or RE-FINE that learning (from people are scary to grownups are scary IF you’re a baby).

And that will allow you to talk to ANYBODY as if they are an old friend.

Click Here to learn more.

Social Confidence

Help Save The World

There’s a cool concept in economics called the “invisible hand.”

It’s not a reference to God or anything metaphysical. It’s a metaphor for the amazingly powerful intellect of the “hive mind.”

For example, when the space shuttle blew up in the late 80’s, there were three possible causes.

Three companies that made three different components.

It took NASA six months of full investigations to find out exactly what happened.

But the “hive mind” knew within a few hours.

The three companies (we’ll call them, A, B, and C) all went down immediately on the stock market right after the explosion.

But by the end of the day, A and B recovered. C never did.

Six months of experiments later, NASA did indeed prove that the product made by company C was the culprit.

Keep in mind this way back in the 1980’s. WAY before the Internet.

This works equally well in prices.

Nobody needs to know how or why the price of cheeseburgers is suddenly twice as high.

But if anybody’s on the fence, and thinking about opening up a cheeseburger shop, the rising price is a clear signal that people WANT cheeseburgers.

So people open up more shops to satisfy the need.

The “hive mind” demanded more cheeseburgers, and the “hive mind” provided cheeseburgers.

Inventions work the same way. Nobody can EVER predict what will be invented.

But when you’ve got millions of people all independently thinking of how to make stuff better, you’re BOUND to get some awesome creativity.

If there’s one main ingredient in all of these examples, inter-human connectivity and communication is essential.

People need to interact, to communicate, to share and pass along ideas.

Kind of like the old “telephone” game from elementary school. One kid starts with a message, and whispers it into the next kid’s ear. By the time it goes around the whole class, the message is completely different.

For simple messages, this is a goofy exercise.

But when it comes to ideas, it can be magical.

One idea passed through a million minds can transform into a life saving medicine, or a breakthrough in manufacturing, or a much faster way to travel.

Again, all requiring human communication.

The better you can interact with others, share your ideas, take their ideas and make them better, the more you’ll help change the world.

Click Here to learn more.

How To Exceed Expectations

Master Persuader – Easily Move Minds To Your Way Of Thinking


 
 
 

Become Irresistible

: Natural Influence Ebook
 
 
Instructions: Visualize being able to easily convince anybody to do anything. Listen with eyes closed while visualizing ideal outcome. Best used with techniques in Natural Influence. Use ethically and legally. Do not listen while driving.
 
 

Statements

I easily hypnotize people

I easily mesmerize people

I easily influence people

I easily seduce people

I easily spellbind people

I easily charm people

I easily persuade people

I easily enrapture people

I subconsciously hypnotize people

I subconsciously mesmerize people

I subconsciously influence people

I subconsciously seduce people

I subconsciously spellbind people

I subconsciously charm people

I subconsciously persuade people

I subconsciously enrapture people

I easily hypnotize men

I easily mesmerize men

I easily influence men

I easily seduce men

I easily spellbind men

I easily charm men

I easily persuade men

I easily enrapture men

I subconsciously hypnotize men

I subconsciously mesmerize men

I subconsciously influence men

I subconsciously seduce men

I subconsciously spellbind men

I subconsciously charm men

I subconsciously persuade men

I subconsciously enrapture men

I easily hypnotize women

I easily mesmerize women

I easily influence women

I easily seduce women

I easily spellbind women

I easily charm women

I easily persuade women

I easily enrapture women

I subconsciously hypnotize women

I subconsciously mesmerize women

I subconsciously influence women

I subconsciously seduce women

I subconsciously spellbind women

I subconsciously charm women

I subconsciously persuade women

I subconsciously enrapture women

You easily hypnotize people

You easily mesmerize people

You easily influence people

You easily seduce people

You easily spellbind people

You easily charm people

You easily persuade people

You easily enrapture people

You subconsciously hypnotize people

You subconsciously mesmerize people

You subconsciously influence people

You subconsciously seduce people

You subconsciously spellbind people

You subconsciously charm people

You subconsciously persuade people

You subconsciously enrapture people

You easily hypnotize men

You easily mesmerize men

You easily influence men

You easily seduce men

You easily spellbind men

You easily charm men

You easily persuade men

You easily enrapture men

You subconsciously hypnotize men

You subconsciously mesmerize men

You subconsciously influence men

You subconsciously seduce men

You subconsciously spellbind men

You subconsciously charm men

You subconsciously persuade men

You subconsciously enrapture men

You easily hypnotize women

You easily mesmerize women

You easily influence women

You easily seduce women

You easily spellbind women

You easily charm women

You easily persuade women

You easily enrapture women

You subconsciously hypnotize women

You subconsciously mesmerize women

You subconsciously influence women

You subconsciously seduce women

You subconsciously spellbind women

You subconsciously charm women

You subconsciously persuade women

You subconsciously enrapture women

Avoid The Kill Shot

Expand Their Desires

I used to play a lot of racquetball a few years ago.

There as a gym that had a “challenge court” with a glass back wall.

You’d write your name on a list, and play whoever won the current game.

The most I ever won in one night was three games in a row. Meaning I beat the next two guys that had “next.”

One particular game (that I lost) was memorable. I was very young, in my early twenties.

The guy I was playing was older, in his sixties. And he absolutely killed me.

I would run all over the place, and try to make a “kill shot” with pretty much every shot.

But he took his time, and used “placement” as his weapon. He would pretty much stay in the center of the court, and hit the ball so it would bounce all over the place, and end up EXACTLY where he wanted.

I would run around chasing them like a dumb jackrabbit on meth.

I was only thinking ONE SHOT ahead (kill shot), while he was content to just keep rallying until I eventually couldn’t catch up.

I did score a couple points, but in the end, it wasn’t even close. At the end, he summed it up nicely:

“Youth and speed vs. experience and patience.”

Many people try to speak conversationally like I tried playing. Slam the other person with witty remarks, genius openers, and reframes that ostensibly show how awesome they are. Or think they are.

If you’ve ever been overwhelmed by a high-pressure salesperson, you know what I mean.

They don’t pause even for a second to find out what’s important, or what you want, or what you’re even interested in. They just slam you over and over with “kill shot” statements about themselves, their product or their services.

On the other hand, if the “patient” approach, it works a lot better.

Hold back on the conversational “kill shots.”

Ask them what’s important. Ask them what kinds of things they’re interested in, and NOT interested in.

Find out about what they’d like to be doing in the future. A week, a year, ten years.

All without mentioning your ideas or your products AT ALL.

Just relax, and let them come to you, in their own way, in their own time.

When they do, it will be THEIR IDEA. Not yours.

Which means they’ll be very little (if any) resistance.

Doesn’t matter if you’re making friends, looking for business partners, or talking to strangers while waiting in line at the supermarket.

This will open them up, so they see YOU through THEIR desires.

Making YOU seem much more DESIERABLE than anybody else they’ve ever met.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Develop Deep Connections

Develop Deep Connections

If you’ve even watched “romantic” movies, or movies that have a romantic theme to them, there’s a common thread.

And that is two people meet each other, and they “get” each other.

They feel that nobody understands them like their new partner does.

People use the same term to talk about non-Hollywood style movies.

They say that people who don’t appreciate them don’t “get” them.

It reminds me of those 3-D pictures. Where you have to look at them in a special way to “get” them.

If you “get” them, you see the hidden picture. If you don’t “get” them, then it’s a bunch of fuzzy noise.

If you tell a joke, and somebody doesn’t laugh, they don’t “get” it.

What does it mean when two people meet, and they really “get” each other?

Do they share common backgrounds? Common beliefs? Common goals? Or is it something deeper, something more profound?

One way to enhance this is by talking about things other than what they call “fluff talk.”

Talking about the weather, politics, sports, who’s hot on social media, doesn’t really let you know if you “get” somebody or not.

What does?

This is what happens when you go “meta.” When you talk about experiences, in the abstract. When you talk about the structure of your own desires.

For example, say you learned how to play a song on the guitar. You practiced over and over, and wanted to show off to your friends.

Then when you finally played, they didn’t act like it was a big deal. So you felt a little let down.

You can share that experience with somebody, so they “get” you, without them having to have played any instrument.

Just find some situation where they did the same thing, from a structural standpoint.

Find some experience where they wanted to share something with their friends, that they thought was pretty cool, but ended up being a little under-whelming.

So even though the two of you have two “different” experiences, (content wise) they are the same, structure wise.

When you can find similar structures, you can significantly increase the chances you’ll “get” each other.

And when they think about you, they’ll feel that YOU are somebody that KNOWS them on a deep level, and they’ll feel they know YOU on a deep level.

Doesn’t matter if you’re making friends, looking for dates, or trying to get a foot in the door in a job interview.

By looking for overlapping STRUCTURES rather than content, you’ll connect on a much deeper level.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Charisma Explosion

Explode Your Charisma

One of the rules of “polite language” is to never put anybody on the spot.

This is the reason we use the second conditional when making polite requests.

In case you forgot grammar school, the “second conditional” is an “if-then” form of a question that uses the past tense, and “would,” as it only speaks to hypothetical situations.

Like, “If I saw a UFO, I would take a picture,” meaning that it’s not likely, but if it DID happen, I’d take a picture.

When we talk about things that are likely, we use the first conditional. Present tense and “will.”

If it rains, I will get wet.

The reason we use hypothetical language when asking polite questions, is because it puts it off into “pretend land.”

For example, if I wanted to ask a coworker to open the window, I could say it not politely, “will you open the window?” or politely, “Would you open the window?”

If it’s in the “will” form, it feels a lot more “on the spot.”

When starting conversations with strangers, it’s important to start off with simple statements and questions that also don’t make them feel “on the spot.”

An easy way to do this is with “pacing statements.” Say something about the environment that is verifiably true. Something that they have to agree with. Something that’s easy to agree with.

The main purpose of any ice breaker is to ease into a conversation. Not to show off how clever you are or to impress them with your wit.

Once you get them talking, and used to you, you can then begin to peel back the onion layers and ask more penetrating questions.

Questions that will get them excited to talk to you. Questions that will get them thinking in terms of their ideal future.

Start off easy, go slowly and within ten or twenty minutes they’ll be sharing with you their biggest dreams and goals and visions.

Not only that, but they’ll also be seeing YOU through that filter you’ll be helping them create.

Of course, this does take practice, but if you start practicing today, pretty soon you’ll be a social super star, making everybody feel fantastic whenever you’re around.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

How To Match Their Wavelength

Get On Their Wavelength

A lot of scientific principles are intuitive.

Not that we know the equations and underlying theory, but as operational humans, we “get” how things work.

Like throwing a baseball, for example.

Physics tells us that the optimum angle is 45 degrees if we want to get the maximum distance.

But kids know this intuitively, by trial and error.

Another one is the idea of resonance.

All systems have a certain “frequency” about which they normally vibrate.

And if you “behave” in this same “frequency” you’ll get the most bang for your buck.

Like little kids on swings. They learn quickly to swing their legs at the same frequency as the swing, and they get some pretty high amplitudes.

Sometimes this is not appropriately understood, with horrible results.

A group of solders were marching across a bridge, in cadence, and their marching cadence was the same frequency as the bridge. And it collapsed.

When you’re having a conversation with somebody, getting “in tune” with them feels fantastic. Like you are on the same page, or even the same “wavelength.”

Most people think that this happens randomly. Haphazardly. Talk to enough people, and a small enough percentage will have that “in synch” feeling.

Of course, if you approach others with this mindset, it WILL be a numbers game.

Meaning if you go up and blurt out a bunch of stuff, and hope it “works.”

But if you do the opposite, you’ll have a much HIGHER chance of creating that feeling of resonance.

Instead of blurting out a bunch of stuff, you ask them some questions. Easy to answer questions. Simple questions. Then slowly expand.

Once you get enough information, about what makes them tick, then the “stuff” that you “blurt out” will be much more “in tune” with them.

And you’ll be able to create that feeling of resonance with almost anybody.

What would you be able to do then?

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance