Monthly Archives: January 2016

Read People Like A Book

Become Cause Instead of Effect

When I was in college many moons ago, my roommate had one of those 3D pictures.

The kind that looks like noise, but when you stare at it the right way, a 3D image emerges.

For a while, I couldn’t “get it.” While all my friends did so easily.

But once you “get it” a couple of time, it’s pretty easy.

Once I was playing a game of flag football with some friends.

I was on defense, and my job was to rush in and pressure the QB.

Only on one play, I kind of froze. Not really froze, something just seemed “off” right after the snap.

Instead of running in, like I normally did, I stepped back a bit.

It turned out the other team was running a double reverse, and were counting on me rushing in, which would leave open a big hole.

As I was standing there wondering what the heck was going on, they ran the play and the guy with the ball ran right into me.

One of my teammates looked at me and asked, “you read that pretty well!”

To which I responded, “Huh?”

I suppose as often is the case, my subconscious knew what was up, but my conscious was clueless.

Being able to accurately “read” events to predict the outcomes is a pretty good skill.

There’s a saying that a small minority of people make things happen.

A slightly larger group watches things happen.

Then there’s the vast majority who stand around saying, “What happened?”

Of course, if you spend all your free time with your brain turned off staring at the pretend people in pretend situations on TV, it’s hard to be able to “read” events as they unfold.

I’ve read a few books on history, and things in real life are WAY more complicated than on TV.

Over the last couple decades, the world has changed A LOT, and will continue to do so.

If you’re planning on just coasting and hoping things work out, you may be surprised.

On the other hand, it really doesn’t take a lot of time, or effort, to increase your “people reading” skills.

This can help you move from the “what happened?” group to the “watch what happens” group.

And when you start to see things playing out, you can position yourself to either benefit, or not get pounded, like a lot of people.

Fortunately, the same exercise that will increase your “people reading” skills can ALSO significantly improve your communication skills, as well as your overall self-development.

Even if you ONLY do these exercises during commercial breaks!

If you make the commitment today, to spend only ten minutes a day, soon you’ll have skills most people don’t even know exist.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

X Ray Vision

Get X-Ray Vision Into Their Minds

In Japan they have an expression called “reading the air.”

It means to understand the subtext of a conversation.

Here’s a pretty common one. Guy and his girl are at a party.

Some other girl comes up and starts talking to him. He thinks it’s just a normal conversation.

His girlfriend, on the other hand, sees it as direct threat against their relationship.

Since females are much better at “reading” body language than guys are, she can see all the subtle cues of flirtation.

To her, this “other woman” is completely throwing herself at him.

Later on, they get into a fight. She says, “How could you do that?!”

He says, “Wha??”

And she later complains with her friends about men being so dense.

Maybe you’ve been in this situation before (on one side or the other).

The truth is that in ALL human communication, there are MANY levels. Most we ourselves don’t even know about.

One of my favorite lines is from a Tom Clancy book, “The Sum of All Fears.”

About a third of the way through the book, he explained what it meant. When you get a group of experts around a table, you don’t get the sum of their experience. You get the sum of their fears.

Think about that next time you’re in a meeting. Everybody tends to be most concerned with keeping bad things from happening AS MUCH as trying to make something good happen. (Bigger profits, more market share, etc.)

One of the big breakthroughs of NLP was that it leveraged Noam Chomsky’s theory of “transformational grammar.”

Meaning you could look beyond the “surface structure” of what people were saying, and see what they REALLY mean.

Their fears, their desires, what they are going to do next, etc.

If all you do is pay attention to the surface structure, you can easily run into trouble.

But when you can not only see what the other person really means, as well as communicate on that level, it’s like getting conversational super powers.

Even if you never want to do any persuading or influencing, it makes social situations a LOT more enjoyable.

Like putting on X-Ray glasses and seeing into people’s brains.

This is exactly what happens when you start writing out the Covert Hypnosis language patterns.

After a while you’ll see a whole new world that few people know exist.

And since you’ll be able to read people a lot better, you’ll be much more likely to create fantastic relationships, for WHATEVER reason you want.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis

Become A Verbal Ninja

How To Become A Verbal Ninja

One time I had this leaky faucet.

I looked online on how to fix it, and figured it easy enough.

So I went to my local hardware store, and bought what I thought I needed to fix it.

I ended up having to go back there three times, until I finally figured everything out.

Even though it took a lot longer than I thought, and I was pretty embarrassed every time I walked back into the hardware store, it felt pretty good when I finished.

A lot of people are afraid to try something because they might mess up. Or they won’t get it right the first time.

Good thing you didn’t feel that way when you were learning to walk!

Any hardware store you find yourself in, you’ll find a lot of tools.

Some are very general, and can be used for a lot of different things.

Some are very specific, and can only be used for one specific job.

Like a cement mixer, for example. There’s not a lot of stuff you can do with it except mix cement.

Other things, like hammers, or screwdrivers, can be used for pretty much anything.

These are tools that every person would benefit from having.

On the other hand, it wouldn’t be a good marketing strategy for a cement mixer company to try and convince everybody that they needed to have one.

There are things that people do that can be thought of as on the same spectrum.

Things that are very specific, and things that are very general.

Like doing pull-ups is a very specific form of exercise, and strengthens specific muscles.

Stretching, or Yoga, on the other hand, is pretty beneficial.

Many more people would benefit from doing a bit of yoga in the morning than would doing ten pull-ups.

One all purpose practice that would benefit most people is journaling.

You can journal to keep track of your progress on goals.

You can journal to write out and visualize different ways to behave in different situations.

You can journal your own history to uncover things that happened long ago that you may be able to understand now.

You can journal to write down any genius ideas you have during the day, that may turn into profitable income streams.

Or you can journal to practice language patterns.

This, by far, is the best way to drill them into your brain.

Kind of like boxers or martial artists train at the gym. Doing the same moves over and over and over and over.

So if they ever get into a fight, they’ll AUTOMATICALLY respond with the perfect punch.

When you practice language patterns by writing them out over and over and over, you’ll get the same result.

And since EVERY SINGLE TIME you talk to somebody is an opportunity to use them, you’ll naturally start becoming more persuasive, magnetic and influential. Without really knowing it.

All it takes is a few minutes of writing every day, and you’re on your way to becoming a verbal ninja.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Utilize Utilization

How To Make Lemonade

One time I got a blender for Christmas.

At the time, I didn’t really have any use for a blender, so I never took it out of the box.

I put it in a closet, and forgot about it.

Then a year later, to save time, I wrapped it up and gave it to somebody else.

This is pretty common.

Some companies have these goofy parties where you give each other presents and then trade them with each other.

Sometimes they call them “white elephant” parties. The “white elephant” being the gift that nobody really wants, so they keep giving it to other people.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” right?

How exactly do you do that?

It revolves around how flexible you are with “meaning.”

If you say “hi” to somebody, and they don’t say “hi” back, what does it “mean”?

To some, it’s PROOF that they suck and nobody likes them.

To others, it’s an opportunity to try something different.

Meaning that while they didn’t say “hi” back to you, they didn’t call the cops.

Maybe they didn’t hear you. Maybe they are too shy. Maybe they really like you and are frozen.

It’s hard to “switch” these meanings around on the spot, simply because our brains are hard wired to AUTOMATICALLY go to the “worst” meaning for ancient survival reasons.

But since overcoming your survival instincts is what it means to be a rational human, this is just another skill you can practice.

Playing around with different meanings “in the moment.”

Like any skill, it takes time. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

But once you get yourself up to speed, you’ll be able to use a POWERFUL tool from your Covert Hypnosis tool kit.

Utilization.

It’s a technique where you take ANYTHING that you get, from the world or other people, and simply figure out a way to USE it.

Instead of judging it right away, get into the habit of thinking, “hmm, how can I use this?”

The inventor of Covert Hypnosis, Milton Erickson, used this to hypnotize people.

He didn’t care if they closed their eyes or not. Sat down or know. Kept talking or not.

He simply UTILIZED whatever they were doing to DEEPEN their trance.

Since trance was his intention, he took WHATEVER happened, and UTILIZED it to fulfill his intention.

What is YOUR intention?

Whatever it is, you can take WHATEVER the world gives you, and use it to fulfill your intention.

This will turn every experience, every conversation, every person you meet into a once in a lifetime opportunity to get what you want out of life.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Peel Back The Onion Layers

Interpersonal Glue

A long time ago I used to sell cars.

It was an eye opening experience, from a lot of perspectives.

One is I was amazed how happy people were once they’d decided to buy a car.

When they came in, they were fearful, anxious and weren’t sure.

But after an hour or so of going back and forth, when they finally made the decision, they transformed.

I mean literally, before my very eyes.

Before they signed a contract, they were defensive. Closed off. Crossed arms. Unhappy faces.

But after they signed the contract, they looked like little kids on their birthdays.

Before the contract, they acted like I was their arch-nemesis.

After the contract, I was their best friend, and they couldn’t thank me enough.

Most people see sales, seduction, or any kind of persuasion through the lens of trickery.

Like you’ve got to come in “under the radar.” Many people believe the only way they can convince somebody to do what they want is to use some kind of Jedi ninja patterns.

But in reality, but BEST salespeople, and the most NATURAL seducers don’t see it that way.

They see persuasion as HELPING people get what they want.

Nobody is unhappy when they go home with a new purchase. Quite the opposite.

Nobody is unhappy at the beginnings of a new relationship. In fact, that is one of the best feelings we humans can feel.

So why do so many people approach sales and dating as if they were a confrontation?

One reason is people fear rejection. We’re so nervous we’ll get rejected we start to treat the other person as the enemy.

But one thing that will most certainly AVOID rejection is simply taking the time to find out what they want.

That’s why it’s best to start with small talk. Create rapport. Give each other time to get comfortable.

Then slowly peel back the onion layers.

Find out what they want.

THEN you’ll realize how easy it is.

Why is it so easy?

Because on a deep level, all of our wants and needs are very similar.

Sure, if you’re buying a car, you’ve got certain criteria. Make, model, color.

But you also want good value, safety, comfort, security, and validation.

When you’re talking to people socially, or even in a business situation, those vague desires are incredibly easy to leverage.

What does this mean?

It means that you simply talk to them about the things they want, then talk to them about what you’ve got.

If you do this in the right way, meaning relaxed and conversationally, you’ll almost never get rejected.

And when you use these language patterns, it’s pretty simple.

These are the “interpersonal glue” that connects what THEY want, with what YOU’VE got.

Which makes doing what you suggest the most natural thing in the world.

Learn How:

Covert Hypnosis

Time Shifting Magic

When I was a kid, I was in boy scouts.

And every summer we went on a long backpacking trip.

About a week, carrying all of our stuff on our backs.

Usually we would park at trailhead. Then walk up a long set of switchbacks.

These are trails that criss-cross up a really steep set of mountains.

Then when you’re on the other side, it’s like a completely different world.

Because the only people that you see (which aren’t very many) are people that walked there.

It’s fun on the way up, looking down at the parking lot. Seeing our cars getting smaller and smaller.

Then when we come out on the other side, a week or so later, it’s a welcome site.

After sleeping in tents, eating freeze dried food and no showers, seeing a bunch of parked cars, even from a long ways off, is pretty refreshing.

See things from different perspectives is useful.

One way easy way to do this is see how we use language.

I’m sure you’ve heard the famous Einstein quote about insanity.

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

One way we “do” the same thing is talk about things the same way.

Like if you’ve got a “problem,” you use it as if it were a real “thing.”

I’ve “got” this “problem.”

I don’t know how to get rid of this “problem.”

I need to put “this” behind me.

What happens when you describe your “problem” in a different way?

This is slightly different than the useless “I don’t see problems, I see opportunities!” bumper sticker mindset that some people spout .

For an example, think of a problem you HAD a year or so ago, that is now resolved.

Now think of something useful you learned from that.

Something really useful, not, “I learned that people are idiots.”

Now, when you look at a “problem” in the future, instead of saying “how can I get rid of this,” or something similar, ask yourself, “When I DO solve this, I wonder what I’ll learn?”

That simple replacement, when you take out the “if” and put in the “when” is very powerful.

Just say these two sentences, out loud if you can, to see how they affect your emotions.

If I get rich I’ll be able to buy a nice house.

When I get rich I’ll be able to buy nice house.

The difference may be subtle, and you may need to really WORK to believe the second one, but when you do, a whole new future of opportunities will open up.

You’ll think of new ideas, dream new dreams, and start taking new action.

Instead of waiting, you’ll be doing.

That one simple shift, (when instead of if) is only ONE of the many language patterns in the Covert Hypnosis book.

You can use them on yourself, to “fix” your own problems.

You can use them with others, to help them with theirs.

You can use them pretty much anytime, anywhere with anybody.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Generate Overlapping Interests Between Conversational Partners

Overlap Their Desires With Yours

Pretty much everything can be thought of as a mix of two extremes.

Like sweet or salty. I like salty food more often than not.

But once in while I like to eat something sweet. Too much and it’s not good any more.

In NLP there are all kinds of “Meta Programs” that are these filters through which we see the world.

And like everything else, they can be thought of in “extremes” but most of us have a mix.

Like you can be motivated to move away from fear, or toward pleasure.

If you are too much of one, it will cause trouble.

Most of us are maybe 1/3 of the way from either end.

Another thing is how people make decisions.

One the hand, there are people that simply cannot decide unless somebody tells them exactly what to do.

On the other hand, there are people that absolutely NEED to be the decision maker in every single situation.

Clearly, both are kind of lame.

But most of us are a mix of both, usually more one than the other.

If you are interested in self development, taking an active role in improving your life, or have even thought about doing things differently, then chances are you are more “internally motivated” than “externally motivated.”

Meaning you’re likely more of a self starter than somebody who needs to have somebody tell you what to do 24-7.

It’s good to know what these filters are if you ever need to persuade anybody.

Andy whenever you talk to anybody about anything, there’s usually some persuasion going on.

Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little.

Now, you could spend a lot of time reverse engineering somebody’s “meta models” until you have them wired down completely.

Then you could present your ideas to them to fit into their “model of the world.”

There are consulting companies that make lots of money doing this for clients and employees.

But there is a MUCH easier way.

Just ask.

I know, simple, right?

But if you ask people what they want, (which most people NEVER do), they’ll usually be happy to tell you.

Then just figure out a way to present your idea so that it matches what they want.

This is MUCH easier than most people think.

Why?

Because most people think in very vague terms. Few are walking around with a specific idea of what they want.

Then you take THEIR vague desires, and match them with yours (vague or specific, it really doesn’t matter) by using the SPECFICALLY VAGUE language patterns of covert hypnosis.

This is ESPECIALLY easy when you’re using these patterns on people you already know. Even just casually.

Because you already sort of “know” what makes them tick. What they want. What makes them happy.

So when you talk to them using these patterns, YOUR ideas will seem like THEIR ideas.

Which means no matter WHAT they reference (internal or external) it will make perfect sense.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Trash Can Man In Your Brain

The Uber Skill

I’ve done a lot of moving in my life.

Various places in college, various jobs, cities, countries, etc.

And there’s always one question that needs to be addressed every single time I move.

What to keep, and what to throw out.

Now, some moves are close enough so I just hire a couple guys to come by in a truck.

They take everything out of the old place, throw it in the back of the truck, and then unload it in the new place.

Not a lot of thinking required.

Other times, when I’ve got to do the moving myself, I have to think long and hard about some of my stuff.

Do I really need it, or is it junk?

One time I found myself living in an apartment that didn’t have a big dumpster outside.

So I had to carry my junk at night, down the street, and pitch it in the dumpster behind the supermarket.

If you do this enough, you find that you can really streamline your life.

There’re even experts that will help you do this, even if you’re not moving.

Ideas in your head can act the same way.

Some of it’s junk, and some of it’s gold.

Of course, you can’t tell if you don’t take a good look. Which most people are afraid to do.

Skills, however are always pure gold.

Sure, you may waste TIME learning a skill, but once you’ve got the skill, you never know when it will come in handy.

There’s a theory that since all of us are tied into to the super-conscious, (via the subconscious) no matter WHAT skill we are learning, there’s always a reason.

You might not understand why now, but in five years, you’ll be in a situation and you’ll suddenly remember you’ve got THAT skill (that you didn’t really know WHY you learned in the first place) and you’ll be golden.

So there’s really never a good argument to NOT learn new skills. Sure, some particular skills like juggling chainsaws might not be a good idea.

But other skills will DEFINITELY help you.

One of these is how well you communicate. Your ability to not only get those ideas out of your head clearly and succinctly, but to persuade others of their value, is absolutely crucial.

Well, not really CRUCIAL. But without them you’ll always be dependent on others.

But when you take the time to develop communication skills, you will have a lot more options, a lot more resources, and will be much less likely to ever get “stuck.”

Most people spend their time wondering “if.” Or they spend their time “hoping.”

I hope she likes me. I hope they hire me. I hope I don’t get fired.

But when you learn POWERFUL communication skills, you will not need to rely on OTHERS.

Instead of “hoping” for situations to go your way, you can carefully ENGINEER them to go your way.

How?

Here’s How:

Covert Hypnosis

What Do You Assume?

How To Make Others Feel Good Around You

Once I was walking around downtown. I saw this poster for a movie.

It had an actor who’s been in a lot of other movies I’ve watched and enjoyed.

So without knowing anything about the movie, I bought a ticket.

As I was sitting there in the theater, my big bucket of popcorn on my lap, the lights dimmed.

So excited. One of my favorite actors.

In a movie I knew nothing about.

Now, when I watch a movie, I always buy popcorn. But I don’t start eating until the movie actually starts.

Kind of a “delayed gratification” trick I play on myself.

So as the lights dimmed, I waited for the first scene to start shoveling popcorn in my mouth and…

…they started singing.

WTF?

Turned out it was a musical. Not my favorite type of movie.

Another time I was in Taiwan. There had just been a movie released called “Red Eye,” some thriller movie that took place aboard a plane.

I saw the title at my local theater. Same story. Bough the popcorn, waited for the lights to dim.

And….

…it was a Korean movie called “Red Eye.” Some sort of horror. No idea what it was about since it was in Korean with Taiwanese subtitles.

This is what happens when we make assumptions.

Most of the time they are true. But when we’re wrong, it can be funny, like in those movies, or you can upset people, or embarrass yourself.

But there ARE some assumptions that most people may disagree with that people will be GLAD to accept.

Within the Covert Hypnosis training course, there’re these things called “Linguistic Presuppositions.”

They are sentence structures that PRESUPPOSE things to be true, in order to make sense of and respond to the sentence.

When we use this naturally, it’s when we’re trying to unconsciously assert something that we really don’t want questioned.

Usually this is some kind of insult, or some form of “I’m right and you’re wrong” type of thing.

Like when you’re arguing with your friend, and you think they’re being dense, because they won’t accept your argument.

You don’t come right out and say, “Since you don’t accept my argument, you are being dense.” Because they could argue with that.

Instead, we tend to say things like, “Why are you being so dense?” Which is a question that PRESUPPOSES the density if your friend.

When you start to use these consciously, you can use them much more effectively. Not to make other people feel bad or stupid, but to make them feel really good.

You can start to “Presuppose” good things about them. Good things about their ideas. Good things about their future.

What effect will this have?

They’ll start to feel really good about themselves. But since you’re covertly hiding these “compliments” in the middle of a complex sentence structure, they won’t really know why.

All they’ll know is that around you, they feel pretty good.

Think you can use this to your benefit?

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis

Pushy Boy

How To Avoid Pushy Persuasion

Most people hate to be micro-managed.

Meaning that your boss (or husband or wife) is standing right over your shoulder.

Telling you exactly what to do and exactly how to do it.

Humans are hard wired to have a strong need to feel in control.

Only when WE decide WE want somebody else to tell us what to do, is it OK.

This is why unasked for advice is almost always taken the wrong way.

There you are merrily going along, and some goof comes and tries to tell you what to do.

Think about what this means. They think they know MORE about the situation than you do.

Which may be true, but part of being human is discovering and learning on our own, instead of having some busybody sticking their nose in our business.

Which is why most of us absolutely HATE salespeople.

They are pushy, obnoxious and are always telling us THEIR reasons why we should do things.

If they are being sneaky, they might use some manipulation tactics. You want to buy something for $200. They try and sell you something for $500. They push it really hard. Finally, you “win” and buy the one in the middle for “only” $300.

Lucky you!

Most people are so turned off by these ultra pushy and manipulative sales people that they’d never DREAM of working in sales, despite the ENORMOUS amount of money you can make with very little education.

However, even if you aren’t in sales, you ARE going to have to persuade people.

You might persuade that girl or guy to date you.

Or that boss to hire you instead of the fifty other candidates.

Or your wife or husband to watch and action movie instead of a romance.

The truth is that it’s very difficult to squeeze through life without having some kind of persuasion skills.

Luckily, you don’t have to be pushy, or manipulative, or sleazy.

You can use THEIR ideas to help them understand YOUR point of view.

And when they finally agree to do what you want them to, it will be THEIR idea.

They won’t feel conned, they won’t feel tricked, and they won’t feel suckered.

They probably won’t even realize you “helped” them come to a decision.

And they’ll start to associate YOU with their decisions to get what they want.

Which can help out in a lot of ways.

To be sure, doing this is a skill, and it takes practice.

There’s no magic words or shortcuts.

But it is a skill that few people know exist, let alone know how to use effectively.

Get Started:

Covert Hypnosis